我的生命。我的旅程。我的心路历程。

Honeymoon (Taiwan)

2012-02-10T12:11:00.001+08:00

While i was preparing a V day present for hubby, i browsed through all our honeymoon photos, and it brought back such fond memories!

Sunrise at 花蓮！

水岸森林會館

莫內花園畫展

浮潛@墾丁

小徑民宿 @ 墾丁

墾丁水族館！

Just some random photos.

Hubby will probably upload all on FB!

complexity vs simplicity

2012-02-06T01:40:00.001+08:00

*warning: this is an emo post, just for today.

today i found myself thinking about something…

這些年來，事過境遷。。。

很多人、事、物都改變。。。

身邊的人也改變了。

漸漸的，認識的人多，朋友越來越多，但是。。。

知心的朋友還真的沒幾個。

今天，我在思考的一個問題是。。。

當有一天，我真正面對什麼事情時，除了老公以外，我第一個找的人會是誰？

我傾訴的對象會是誰？我尋找的對象會是誰？

陳牧師曾經說過，我們每個人都需要有這樣的一個人。

當我感到如此難過時，我竟然不知道。。。

我要找誰哭泣。

心中的感覺很複雜。

不是生氣，但是失望、是難過、是沮喪、是疑惑、是混亂。

我已經很久。。。沒有這種感受了。

可能是這些日子來，我都沒有正視過這個問題。我知道它或許存在。。。

而今天，當我真正知道它存在時，我的感覺是。。。手足無措。

知道了又怎麼樣？我又不能做什麼。

可能這種無助感是最可怕的吧。

到底。。。什麼是可信的，什麼是不可信的。。。

什麼是真、什麼是假。。。

求你以你的真理引導我。。。

1st post of 2012

2012-01-14T20:18:00.001+08:00

Here i am, sitting in my interpreter’s room, the room that I spend a lot of time in, interpreting and encountering God too…

The year 2011 never fails us, and has gone by like a wind.

And 2012 has sneaked up on us quietly.

Every year i get really nostalgic, but amazingly, i did not, and allowed 2012 to just arrive.

Every year i seem to know what it holds, but this year i am still quite clueless. Hahahaha.

And surprisingly, I have no urge to make resolutions. Haha.

But there are desires, thoughts, rantings…

Yesterday I had my boss talk to me… and his sheer concern of me, my work and marriage touched me deeply. I am so blessed.

Today, i finally made it to the gym for the first time in 2012.

As I was listening to 张茂松牧师 on my ipod, he said this…

利未人只能跟着祭坛，他们不能跟着机遇、不能跟着食物走，只能跟着祭坛。

What a word. What a reminder.

I can only follow after the altar, I can only follow after Him, I am a levite. And I will be contented.

A verse God recently gave me:

Ps 16:5-6., 11

5 O LORD, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You maintain my lot.
6 The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Yes, I have a good inheritance.

¹¹You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

(: thank You Jesus.

our forerunner

2011-12-30T01:36:00.001+08:00

met a friend on my way home today, and we were talking and sharing.

she asked me, is it tough being a cell group leader…

i told her, yes and no.

i said, honestly, when God calls us, He never promised us it will be easy. it is not just about being a CGL. the fact is, to do anything for God, it is difficult.

but i told her, one of my greatest satisfaction and fulfilment, is to see people live out God’s best for their lives. I wish that they would see, how I live my life, they can follow after my footsteps and see that they can have this too.

I shared with her… the way our pastors and leaders live their lives… we follow after them…. just like Jesus is our forerunner… that is why Paul says, imitate me as I imitate Christ.

but one of the toughest thing honestly? is not to give up.

how… when people make mistakes, you just keep showing grace… keep showing grace… keep showing grace…

when you feel that you have already come to the end of yourself, you just keep showing grace, keep loving, keep believing, keep sowing, keep praying… and never give up.

#keeponkeepingon

rantings

2011-12-30T01:25:00.001+08:00

sometimes you feel like what you say don’t matter.

sometimes you feel like giving up.

sometimes you feel like it’s pointless.

but you just got to keep on believing, keep on fighting, keep on keeping on.

Thoughts this Christmas

2011-12-23T11:21:00.001+08:00

So many thoughts running through my head as i wake this morning.

Frustrations and restlessness in my soul.

The kind of frustration, wishing things will turn out your way, but you know life is never perfect.

you deal with imperfect people, imperfect situations, imperfect world, and an imperfect life.

but sometimes, you honestly wish, things can change for the better. Honestly.

That one will make a right decision.

That one will live worthy of his/her calling in life.

That one will not take what he/she has for granted.

That one will live out God’s fullest for their life.

That one will meet Jesus and their lives be changed.

Oh God, just living out your perfect will for us.

That will be awesome.

Amen.

勇氣

2011-11-08T12:35:00.001+08:00

昨天，在回家的路上，就在Paya Lebar 地鐵站遇到一個人。

這個人看起來很年輕，可能才20幾歲，他拿著一把吉他，在地鐵站外彈著。

第一個印象，這個人很窮嗎？為什麼需要這麼做？

他看起來很平凡，彈著吉他，我也打算就這樣走過了，但走過的時候，他一開口唱歌，我嚇到了，因為他的聲音實在很好聽！

他的聲音很有磁性，很感人，很醇厚的一把嗓子，令我留下深刻的印象。

我立即轉過頭，放兩塊錢放在他的吉他包裡，才看到一張Letter of Busking的信件在裡頭。

原來he is a busker!

新加坡很少有busking的概念，每一次看到這些人，我們有時候甚至會用可憐的眼光看他們，但我卻發現，他是特別在這裡表演的。當下，我的想法完全改變了，自己也覺得有點不好意思，我怎麼會有這種可憐他和瞧不起他的想法。

離開之後，突然很想鼓勵他，就回頭，跟他要了聯絡號碼，還對他說，你的聲音很好聽。他眼中的感激，讓我好感動。

他的勇氣，給我很大的鼓勵，他還在當兵，但卻選擇用這樣的方式追求他的夢想，好勇敢啊！

Dreams are worth the chase, 不是嗎？

the journey thus far

2011-10-14T10:46:00.001+08:00

it has been suchhhhh a long time since i really blogged something decent. Life has this ability of just zooming past you, and sometimes, i really do treasure that little time i have to stop, think and reflect. Or “inflect”, the latest word we learnt in service recently.

I was just reading some other blogs, and many were blogging about their motherhood journeys, and I was thinking about my own marriage journey.

Tomorrow marks the 5th month into the marriage, and I know we both have such a long way to go.

The wedding is over, the honeymoon is over, even the weight is gained back, but what we are now left with, is each other.

We are not perfect, and there are moments we quarrel, we argue, we fight, we have conflicts, and at the end of the day, it’s commitment that keeps us going. After interpreting for n weddings, everytime we end up with a conflict, the words of all the pastors will come back to my mind, especially the words of Pst Aries that say, we always need to forgive and forget.

There are even days that I miss my singlehood, and miss my old room, which is not my room really anymore. Good on my dad, haha, who gives me no way to turn back. It has semi-evolved into a room filled with the smell of books and paintings.

But it is a way of no turning back. Once you have stepped into it, we never turn back really, and like what Pst Zhuang says, welcome to marriage, we share only one space.

And no matter what happens, it is for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish and to obey….

in spite of all our imperfections. I still really, do love you.

狗抓耗子

2011-09-27T12:36:00.001+08:00

这样的时刻，心情很沉重。。。

我在想。。。

是不是因为自己多管闲事招惹出来的？

是不是自己太苛刻，把我的标准强加在别人身上？

是不是我太judgemental所造成的。。。

is it in the flesh or in the spirit?

…

认为发表了自己的看法之后，结果却。。。

*叹气。。。*

爱是。。。

2011-09-22T11:12:00.001+08:00

林前13：4-8

爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；爱是不嫉妒；爱是不自夸，不张狂，
不做害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，
不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；
凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。
爱是永不止息。

昨天在看这处经文，想起牧师说的话。

这段话真的不是写给夫妻，而是写给教会里的弟兄姐妹。

这么多时候，在教会里，或婚礼上都会读这处经文，但昨天，它才真正在我心中沉淀了。

要爱人爱到这种境界，很难吧。

难怪我们爱，因为祂先爱我们。

因为只有借着基督的爱，我们才能够这样去爱人。

看了看，这个标准好高啊。哈哈。

清净，安静

2011-09-22T01:14:00.001+08:00

最近很渴望有些清净、安静的时间。

很希望在忙碌的生活中，可以找到属于自已的一片天地和空间。

目前还在寻找着。。。

结婚之前，回到家就会累到不行。

结婚之后，时间流逝的速度，快得惊人。

我必须追着时间跑，找回属于自己的那么一个小天地。

最近很想很想回到看书的习惯，但专注力却大大减少。

有好书请介绍！特别是中文书。。。

有一点这种感觉。这个地方让我想念那些在垦丁的日子。哈哈。

好想花上一天的时间，泡在书店。。。

好想去度假。。。

好想。好想。

it’s all about our attitude

2011-09-07T12:19:00.001+08:00

i have learnt a lot in this season, and learnt, that every time something happens, God is teaching me to become a better person, and become better in my attitude.

Saw an amazing verse on Mon night.

1 Thess 3:12-13

¹² And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you, ¹³ so that He may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all His saints.

Our hearts are blameless in holiness, when we increase and abound in love to one another and to all.

We always thought,to be blameless and holy is simply to walk right, but God says, when we increase and abound in love, our hearts will be blameless in holiness.

It’s all about Love.

Self-doubt

2011-08-17T17:47:00.001+08:00

自我疑惑。

Self-doubt is prevalent, in my life.

很久沒有這樣的感覺。記不起，上一次懷疑自己是什麼時候。

奇怪的是，有人說，我有很多要向你學習的。

我看著自己，想說，我真的沒有什麼值得你學習的。

最近，不停的懷疑自己，感覺自己一無是處。

我總是需要，再一次通過這個考驗，提醒自己，我的價值在耶穌基督裡。

這個比賽，沒有其他的競爭者，只有你自己。

你是你最大的敵人。

我們活著，不是為了討好任何人。

昨天，聖靈提醒我，we live for the audience of one.

我們的觀眾只有一位。

我們為祂而活。

Do not look to the left or the right, 當跑你該跑的路，當做你該做的事。

We don’t live to please men, we only live for the approval of God.

But we live, to serve men and to serve God.

The heart of a servant.

Lord, lead me in this season, and I pray, I will pass this test with flying colors.

Joshua my hero.

22nd anniversary

2011-08-17T17:25:00.001+08:00

our 22nd anniversary has come, and has gone.

it went past so fast, even before i really realised it.

but somehow, it left a deep mark in me.

was just wondering in my heart, what a privilege.

what a privilege to hear from the pastor of the world largest church, and to hear him say, i am back in my own church.

what a man of faith he is.

no wonder he built the world largest church.

it’s time, to dream n have visions again.

and your vision will guide you, and change you.

on my list of fave people in the world – e357.

happy 22nd!

reminder to self

2011-07-27T17:47:00.001+08:00

I kept on reminding myself.

we all have this unique path to walk.

that is why God always tells us.

do not look to the left, nor to the right.

walk the walk that He has ordained you to walk.

Musings

2011-07-19T13:57:00.001+08:00

上一週，因為育強牧師的關係，會機會遇到一些大人物。

和他們團契，聆聽他們的故事，為他們做翻譯。

結果？

累到不行，但同時間，也開心到不行。

很久沒有服事得這麼開心了。那一種喜樂，是筆墨無法形容的。

JOY.

回來之後，疲累的身軀躺在床上，感覺神對我說。

服事我應該是這樣的。雖然疲累，但不是拖累。

負擔，不是重擔。

那種滿足感和喜樂，是我好像好久都沒有感受到的。

真正服事祂的喜樂。應當是如此。

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Show me Your glory.

週間祂給了我這個經文。

週末牧師講到這篇經文。

讓我感動到不行。

求你顯出你的榮耀。

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

人與人之間的關係，是如此的脆弱。

需要呵護、栽培。

不能當作理所當然。

需要精心培養。

人不能疏離、不能孤立。

Error increases with distance.

距離越遠，錯誤越大。

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some thoughts for this week.

2011-07-12T11:24:00.001+08:00

1 Sam 1:19

¹⁹ Then they rose early in the morning and worshiped before the LORD, and returned and came to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her.

²⁰ So it came to pass in the process of time that Hannah conceived and bore a son, and called his name Samuel,saying, “Because I have asked for him from the LORD.”

Samuel – This name means “heard by God”.

婚姻生活的点点滴滴

2011-07-04T10:22:00.001+08:00

上一次真正的坐下来写点东西，感觉像是好久好久以前的事。

我们结婚，已经有6个星期了吧。除掉蜜月的两个星期，回到新加坡，适应婚姻生活也只有一个月。这一个月里，几乎是酸甜苦辣都经历过。

一回到新加坡，不同的事情就接踵而来。我当时还在想，有时候，生活是否就能稍停片刻，等一等我呢？我都快喘不过气来了。奇怪的是，结了婚之后，真的发生了很多事情。不管是在家里、事工、工作等等，事情就像浪潮一样，不停的冲向我。

现在终于稍微站稳了点。

想说的东西或许太多。。。我们就一点一点来吧 :)

尽管生活充满了起起落落，但婚姻生活真的还是很幸福的。

牧师昨天说到，当我们得到改变，外在也会跟着改变。很妙的是，许多人遇见了我后，都说我变了。看到了幸福、看到了美丽等等等（哎呦，听起来像在自夸，哈哈）可是我真的感觉幸福。记得我曾经这么祷告过，神啊，不管你让我经历什么，只要有他，有你，我什么都不怕，我什么都能度过。现在，真有点这样的感觉。

想想，我应该写开心的事，还是内心最近在琢磨的事呢？

最近，有些事情发生，让我不停的在思考，人与人之间的关系。

其实，人类是如此复杂的动物，而也因此，人与人之间的关系真是复杂到不行。有时候，你多么希望人和人之间可以那么直接的去分享你们的感受。多么希望会有少些猜忌、少些误会、少些妒忌，而是人与人之间，以最坦诚、最真实、最客观的一面去面对彼此，那么人与人之间，或许就少了很多问题吧？

因此我发现，我非常珍惜的朋友和导师，是那些真的能够坦诚相对的人。

人际关系是如此的脆弱，即使十年、二十年的感情和关系，也能在一夕间摧毁。

感觉好像越来越沉重了。

提点别的。这次的蜜月，我们到了台湾。

当时决定去台湾时真的很挣扎。人家都到欧洲、澳洲、日本看似浪漫的地方，我干嘛这么特别，就要选一个人家不会去的地方嘛。

但心中的那一股冲动，是一定要听的。

所以我进行了一系列的计划，而我们抵达台北，再到宜兰，再到花莲，再到垦丁，再回到台北，快乐到不行。哈哈哈哈。

真的很开心可以这样来游台湾。

蜜月里一切，再找个机会诉说吧。:)

This is the sunrise we saw at hualien at our hotel during honeymoon. breathtaking, isn’t it?

24 hrs to go

2011-05-14T04:30:00.001+08:00

counting down 24 hrs. to the BIG DAY.

many asked me, so how is it, are you ready… etc etc.

the feeling is… i don’t know what to feel.

we were busy tying down the details, and it is only during moments like this, that reality hits me, and i feel, i am really getting married.

it’s apprehension, nervousness, fear, and excitement all mixed together.

i think the strongest feeling that I am feeling, is unbelief.

can’t believe i m getting married. the second last day lying on my bed.

surreal.

side track, i love listening to Danny Yeo on City Radio Online. (:

so near yet so far

2011-05-12T09:52:00.000+08:00

it is so scary that the big day is coming up in just a few hours.

i don’t really dare to count even, because the next few days look like climbing Mount Everest to me.

there r just so many tasks ahead, and so many decisions to make, and it looks insurmountable.

JIA YOU BABE. YOU CAN DO IT.

it is so hard

2011-04-12T01:51:00.001+08:00

was brooding over the wedding for quite a while, until i decided that it’s time to snap out of it, and i did.

began to thank Him, praise Him, and started to see amazing miracles happen.

sowed a seed 3 wks ago, and received a blessing yest that is beyond my wildest imagination.

Phil 4:19 is true.

whatever you sow, you shall surely reap, that is true too.

yet the wedding is also taking a toll in many areas.

challenges that we face in this whole process… and sometimes when i hear about others, i just wish that it will all be a little simpler and smoother.

but it’s ok. (: He allows me to go through becos He knows we can. and we will.

Today Sun tweeted.

“slowly but surely, inch by inch, prayer by prayer… u win! to you that’s out there, pls don’t give up!”

Thank u for the encouragement. We can do this. (:

inadequacy

2011-04-07T11:34:00.001+08:00

one of the things that could possibly plague our lives and paralyse us the most, is the thoughts and feelings of inadequacy.

more often than not, the thoughts of “can i do it”, “i don’t think I am good enough” floods our minds… and deters us from doing what God wants us to do.

But my Bible says,

Phil 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I will stand on that. (:

38 days to the BIG DAY!

the STRESS of getting married

2011-03-29T18:37:00.001+08:00

i have to admit. i am stressed. with a capital S.

i never thought i will be this stressed, but of course i am still holding up and handling well.

no wonder they have this term called bride-zillas.

people asked me, what am i stressed with and why i am stressed.

i told them, actually to me, i really don’t need a perfect wedding.

a wedding is a one-day event, but marriage is for life.

yet in the midst of it all, there are still the struggles and challenges that you will go through.

how to communicate with people, how to work with people, how to get things done, how to plan things from scratch (like itinerary, places to visit and stay), how to reno a house (choose paint colors, furniture, cabinet colors, type of door, where u want your electrical points to be, what kinds of tiles u want for ur bathroom and kitchen and the list goes on)

now you know why I am stressed.

Stressed not because it affects my one-day wedding, but stressed because it affects my life after that.

my cousin said, the 2 most stressful things – wedding and house.

and i am in the midst of it both.

but i was very encouraged by Pst Phil’s word on Sun.

In everything and for everything, thank God.

I will. I figured that it is not going to be a smooth process (looking at how things are going), therefore I conclude, that no matter that comes my way, I am going to give thanks.

and that has already started to revolutionise my world.

I purposed that no matter what happens, i will not grumble or complain. I choose to give thanks.

Thank You Jesus for a great husband-to-be.

Thank You Jesus for great-in-laws and family.

Thank You Jesus for a house we can move into.

Thank You Jesus for provision every step of the way.

Thank You Jesus for the angels that are for us.

Thank You Jesus i found the right gowns and shoes.

Thank You Jesus for my beautiful photos.

Thank You Jesus for a great wedding venue and wedding date.

Thank You Jesus for great friends.

Thank You Jesus for nice bathroom tiles. (haha)

Thank You Jesus that my pastors can make it for the wedding.

Thank You Jesus for the many friends who are so willing to lend their helping hand.

I am blessed. and I thank YOU!!!!

Phil 4:6-7

Rom 8:28

SNEAK PEAK TO DA BIG DAY!

2011-03-17T23:29:00.001+08:00

as i promised.

we supposed to reserve the best for the last… so this is just a sneak peek to some of the photos. hurhur.

SNEAK PEEK!

VIEW SLIDE SHOW

DOWNLOAD ALL

this made me smile

2011-03-17T11:10:00.001+08:00

thank you my fren. (:

2 MONTHS AWAY!

2011-03-16T10:59:00.001+08:00

WOOHOO~

i am officially 2 months away from May 15!!!!

As compared to a little depressed me a few days ago, I am now feeling much better, cheerful, thankful and really excited.

Yes there r many things waiting for me to do… yet God is so good.

In the midst of it all He brought us people, favours, finances, and I am believing, that all things work together for the good of those who love Him! (:

So now… i am down to confirming my wedding decoration, my caterer (food is very impt!) and I have already chosen my gowns!

I am one excited girl, because it is very exciting to put on THAT GOWN. u know u know!? Haha. I can’t wait to put up sneak peeeeekkkksssss so be patient!

Btw THE BIG DAY IS MAY 15 SO KEEP URSELF FREE!!!

OH before we go on to DA BIG DAY, we first must go through A NEW DAY!

hahahahhaa. We are going to suntec this weekend! YIPPIEEEEE!

and one more thing, i have been gaining weight after i entered phase 3…. SCREAMSSSSSSSSS. but its ok. i m praying, believing by faith, that SOMEHOW, i don’t know how, my body will listen to me, stop gaining weight, and start losing weight! AMEN.

2 more kg to go babe… YOU CAN DO IT!

Wedding preparations

2011-03-09T12:48:00.001+08:00

People have been asking me… how are my preparations going???

After all, I am like counting down 2 months to DA BIG DAY!

Honestly, i cannot believe it. It’s a little too surreal. Haha.

That day, as I was praying for our big day, God gave me a verse.

Prov 16:9

A man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps.

人心筹算他的道路，惟有耶和华指引他的脚步。

That brought me tremendous encouragement, knowing that as we plan our way, my Lord will direct our steps. Every step of the way.

Till may 15 and beyond.

I wish I can post up pretty pictures for you… but not yetttt. Hurhur.

Soonnnnnnn. (:

Oh btw, as of today, I have lost about 4.5 kg for my wedding.

I am thinking if it is enough. Obviously one can never lose enough. Haha.

Spot the difference.

my last valentine’s day as miss chiong

2011-02-15T12:34:00.001+08:00

it was an extremely memorable valentine’s day.

for good and bad reasons.

兩人之間的感情是需要栽培的。

on a separate note, 大世界is really a pretty nice show!

on friendships, social networking and more.

2011-02-01T02:22:00.001+08:00

something that keeps me connected to my friends is really social networking, especially when i cannot find the time to meet the whole world, and i love fb-ing at this time randomly, just to be updated with the world.

有時候，生活的步伐太快，快到你可能連自己都失去了。

somebody told me someone said this lately, people have changed.

sorry for the random statement, but as i think about it, i cannot help but feel how much people have changed around me.

perhaps i have too.

probably the sad thing is they have changed and moved on from your life, and our paths drift furthur and furthur away. i don’t know. are there friendships that can remain forever till eternity? i certainly hope so.

有哪一些是值得你去維持的友情。。。而又有哪一些，是不把你當一回事的朋友？又有哪些只用口說，卻毫無行動呢？

說了別人，也總要檢討自己。

i am sounding pessimistic tonight, much contrary to the normal self.

這幾天過得很快，很多事情接二連三的發生，我連喘氣的時間都沒有，處理自己情緒的時間也沒有，再加上做不完的事，又可能加上每一天的雨，讓我特別感慨人事已變。maybe it is becos of torres who requested to transfer out of liverpool. hahaha. of cos not.

On a happier note, God has given us amazing friends, leaders and people around me too. God, I am incredibly grateful for that, especially grateful for my lovely members, whom i know, many of which are willing even, to lay down their lives for me.

Thankful.

just a little teeny weeny

2011-01-31T17:54:00.001+08:00

honestly, i did feel it. a teeny weeny sting in the heart.

sad that we were not really “friends”.

just a little.

relationships r harder to manoeuvre as we grow.

and sometimes, it does affect u, just that little bit.

1月28日

2011-01-28T04:27:00.001+08:00

每个月的28日是我最喜欢的一天。我总是对28情有独钟。

在这个月的28日，在那么多天的整理之下，我总算把房间清理完毕。

其实，我不知道是不是真的完毕，但还是有十足的成就感。

这次的大扫除是前所未有的大规模，因为是为搬家做准备。

我丢出的，给掉的，大概有20多袋东西吧。

哈哈。

很多人跟我说，我应该学习不要浪费。

或许吧。

夜晚的宁静

2011-01-21T01:56:00.001+08:00

我很少有机会，在这种时候，坐在书桌前默默的思考，看着别人的文字，思考、反思、写博客。

通常都是精疲力尽的回到家，需要处理处理不完的事，我们的生命似乎充满着许多“噪音”。有时候真的需要静下来，好好的思考。

这两个星期，请了假，只因为我的房间已经乱到不行。我已经受不了了！！所以今天一口气就从早上9点一直清理到晚上6点。虽然还没完成我大扫除的工作，但看到那一包包的垃圾和被丢出来的东西，还是有种莫名的满足感。:)

真的很喜欢清理房间后的感觉。也真的很希望，搬到新家后，我能够把家里整理得井然有序。看到家里整齐的感觉，不会有很大的满足感吗？ :)

倒数106 天！

it is divine

2011-01-18T16:22:00.001+08:00

Getting married is an awesome thing, because you really get to experience the supernatural grace of God.

God is really good to us, every step of the way. :)

We had an awesome shoot yesterday, and we are thankful for all the help rendered to us all this while.

Thank You Jesus.

Hectic New Year

2011-01-16T07:15:00.001+08:00

This must have been one of the most hectic new years I have entered into.

I am swarmed with wedding preparations, and it is probably the biggest project one could ever undertake (or maybe not). There r many many decisions to make, big ones and small ones, and you have to decide everything. Gee.

For now, i am really feeling tired although i am only entering into the third week of the yr. I need the grace and wisdom of the Lord like never before. Honestly.

This yr is going to be a yr of preparation, whichever area it is in my life. :)

D-day construction Part 1

2011-01-06T01:09:00.001+08:00

Today was D-day construction part 1. Big thanks to my MUA, PG, and Aaron, who did an awesome job shooting. :)

Meaningful photos and great team.

Wonderful weather.

CCK, Dover, Siglap and Langsat. :)

Thank you Jesus!

2010

2011-01-01T02:30:00.001+08:00

Before I know it, 2010 has come to an end.

This year is really a year that I saw about the most number of changes in my life.

Needless to say, it was from getting attached to getting engaged, and in 4 months’ time, getting married.

This year is probably one of those years that I blogged the least, and spent the least time alone.

This year was also the year that I saw many changes in my CG, and by the grace of God, we have gone from glory to glory.

This year is the year that I went for missions to interpret, went onstage to interpret, and seeing myself growing in a great way in the area of my ministry.

This is also the year that I learnt to grow up – to handle finances, to do adult stuff more than ever before.

When I was praying this morning, I just can’t stop telling God how thankful I am to Him. For bringing the most important person into my life. For what He has done in my cg. For how He has taken me from faith to faith, glory to glory. For all the new-found frenships and old ones kept. For breakthroughs after breakthroughs. For His grace that helped me to grow and sustained me.

Thank You Jesus.

And here’s to a greater 2011. :)

CG appreciation 2010

2010-12-20T00:51:00.001+08:00

Had our own mini CG thanksgiving, and it was one of the most beautiful CG meetings I have been to.

Kudos to Evelyn and Dong, we had such a great time of games! They did such a great job :) *clapsssss*

Next up, the presence of God was tangibly felt as we sang How awesome is this place, and my God reigns. It was a beautiful moment as I saw all my members lifting up their hands, just worshipping the Lord and declaring that "my God reigns". Yes Jesus you reign, in our lives, in CHC, in E357. And a big thank you to Chee Wee, who did such a great job every week on the guitar, contributing greatly to the atmosphere. :)

And thank you for evelyn, for sharing how God has touched and brought you through in every area of your life.

I honestly meant every word that I shared, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, for being so flexible, so willing, so persevering, so full of faith and so loving.

Thank you Eve, Chee Wee and Val! You guys had to put this up in a short period of time, and you did it :) Thank you for THANK YOU :)

Thank you for your generosity, for sowing into God's house, you guys are GIVING!

Thank you to Dong, for your passion for the lost, it nv fails to inspire me and touch my heart.

Thank you to Yifeng, for always availing yourself, taking such great initiative, to help out in every area possible.

Thank you to Chee Wee once again, who has done such a great job on the guitar, it makes my job as a songleader a breeze.

Thank you to Yuk, for loving God the way you do, and inspiring me with your simple love for God. (And a BIG thank you to Cally for your heart for people, and for helping Yuk becoming all that he is!)

Thank you to Alvin, for not giving up on God in spite of it all, you inspire me w your perseverance. And Kelvin, the other perseverance award goes to you, for persisting on this yr in every area of your life.

And to Eve, thank you so much for standing in the gap, God has great things in store for you.

And to everyone in E357, thank you for being here in 2010. I thank God for you, making mentions of u in my prayers.

Thank you to Dong, for rallying the people in a time to appreciate me, I was truly touched.

What a song you all chose, Do I make you proud.

Tears well up as I look into your faces, yes all of you make me very proud.

And though KT is funny as usual, but thank you for appreciating me :) Keep on keeping on.

And Eve, thank u for allowing me to be your leaders.

And Dong, that poem is beautiful! Maybe u shld consider E Lit after all. Can u pleaseeeeeee put up that poem here? Haha. I was so moved by that heartfelt poem. I love u dong! Thank you for being such an awesome member, for always being here, for being so teachable, you make the job of a leader so easy.

To Zhang Tingting!!!!! I miss you sooooooo much!!!! But i guess you will miss us much more!

Thank you gal for standing by me all these yrs. You saw my weaknesses as a leader, yet you stuck around, serving God and serving me, sharing my heart, fighting battles with me. You truly saw what many don't see, and my prayer for you always, (yes even when you r in China, I am still praying for you, out of sight, but definitely not out of mind) that you will fulfill God's destiny for your life, and become the person that God wants you to be. You have a great future ahead! And honestly, I can't wait for 7 Jan.

So thank you!

A special shout out to all from w497, thank you guys! It has not been easy going through the changes, but u guys hung around, stuck around, and I thank you for that! Thank you for allowing me to be your leader. Love u all *muacks*

I woke up in the middle of the night doing this at 3am becos I just want to pen down this beautiful memory.

What a great thanksgiving we had.

And Jesus, thank you for being the Lord of our lives. Thank you for knitting us tog as one, in one family, for giving us one another, that when we are tired and weary, we know someone is there to spur us around. We love you Jesus :)

So E357, thank you for fighting the good fight of faith, and let's end 2010 with a BIG bang! Souls saved this Christmas, disciples added, and a great zone thanksgiving awaits us!

LOVE YOU ALL!!

"Do I Make You Proud"

I've never been

The one to raise my hand

That was not me

And now that's who I am

Because of you

I am standing tall

My heart is full

Of endless gratitude

You were the one

The one to guide me through

Now I can see

And I believe

It's only just beginning

This is what we dream about

But the only question with me now

Is do I make you proud

Stronger than I've ever been now

Never been afraid of standing out

Do I make you proud

I guess I’ve learned

To question is to grow,

That you still have faith,

Is all I need to know,

I’ve learned to love,

Myself in spite of me,

And I’ve learned to

Walk on the road I believe.

Everybody needs to rise up

Everybody needs to be loved

To be loved

Everybody need to rise on

Everybody needs to be loved, to be loved

This is what we dream about

But the only question with me now

Is do I make you, do I make you proud

This is what we dream about

Never been afraid of standing out

Do I make you proud

Stronger than I've ever been

Never been afraid of standing out

Do I make you proud

Yes you do!

UP

2010-12-03T23:42:00.001+08:00

the most amazing time we had at UP!

we are now going UP, to the next level.

thank God for the awesome committee, it was mind-blowing.

and i am so happy i met w God all over again.

it is a privilege to be a levite in this house.

love my pastors, leaders, and all the co-workers alongside me.

and love my God, who is bigger than anything in the world.

THANK U JESUS. :)

the kingdom mind

2010-11-21T00:38:00.001+08:00

Jesus spent 3.5 years imparting to His disciples.

as i was reading the Word, i realised, He was just trying to teach them something, or rather, impart to them, the kingdom mind and the kingdom life.

He spent 3.5 years living life with them, and be a model of the kingdom life.

He spent 3.5 years teaching them, imparting the kingdom mind.

At the end of the day, it was so that they would catch His mind and live His life, and do what He has done, in a greater proportion.

God has called us, to change our thinking to be like His, to change our lives to be like His.

But many want their own mindsets and their own lifestyles (or the world’s) more than His.

Are you and I willing, for God to do that transformation work in us? To think like He wants us to think, and live like He wants us to live?

Christmas and love

2010-11-16T19:13:00.001+08:00

Stepped out of suntec, with the streets still wet with rain, and seeing the red and white christmas deco reminds me of him.

It all started last xmas.

I still rem, xmas deco was up in suntec, n it was rainy all day long. It was the dark cherry mocha that warmed my heart in that cold "winter" in singapore.

It continued w late night phone calls, xmas gifts, n a date on xmas eve.

Christmas now has a evener bigger place in my heart.

<3
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

awake at 4.48am

2010-10-23T04:49:00.001+08:00

i forgot to add. the reason why i am awake now, is because i spent the last 4 hrs packing my room.

just wanted a freshness in my room.

what Pst said is true. Our room does reflect the condition of our soul.

And I m getting my room cleaned up, in order.

Ps 84

2010-10-23T04:47:00.001+08:00

God answered my cry today.

Not during the BS, not because someone spoke to me, not when i prayed, but just through the simple sharing of one, of how God reminded her of a verse. and it blessed me so much.

Ps 84:5-7

Blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
         Whose heart is set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
         They make it a spring;
         The rain also covers it with pools.
They go from strength to strength;
Each one appears before God in Zion.

I don’t know how to tell you, how much this verse actually speaks to me. but every part of these 3 verses speak right into my situation.

I m blessed.

My strength is in God.

My heart is set on pilgrimage, till i come to the place that He wants me to be.

The Valley of Baca is not a permanent place, it’s a place that we pass through.

When i pass through it, with my great attitude, i will make it a spring.

The rain of the Holy Spirit will overflow the valley of Baca with blessings.

I will go from strength to strength.

And I will appear before God in Zion, blameless.

When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.

times and seasons

2010-10-22T01:15:00.001+08:00

this season spells tough all over it, and from the bottom of my heart, i really feel that i dunno how to do this.

i dunno who to talk to.

i dunno what to do with it.

it’s just so difficult and sticky.

1 Cor 10:13

《浪淘沙·莫道谗言如浪深》

2010-10-15T16:24:00.001+08:00

莫道谗言如浪深，莫言迁客似沙沉。

千淘万漉虽辛苦，吹尽狂沙始到金。

- 刘禹锡

解释：

不要说流言蜚语如同凶恶的浪涛一样令人恐惧，也不要说被贬谪的人好像泥沙一样永远颓废沉迷。淘金要经过千遍万遍的过滤，要历尽千辛万苦，最终才能淘尽泥沙，得到闪闪发光的黄金。

约伯记23：10

“然而他知道我所行的路；他试炼我之後，我必如精金。 ”

Purposed in her heart

2010-09-24T10:38:00.000+08:00

To always be contented with what God has given her

To always be thankful for the great life God has given to her

To always do the will of God in her life

To always love, in spite of

To discipline herself in every single area

To be faithful over what God has given to her

To always trust in Him, that everything is gonna be alright

She purposed in her heart

To be a woman aft His own heart
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

不照我的意思，照你的意思成就

2010-09-21T11:36:00.001+08:00

train is coming jingle

2010-09-16T11:02:00.001+08:00

contrary to most people, i really think this jingle is super amusing.

and it gives me a good mood, cos it feels like x’mas is coming, haha, don’t you think so?

i am absolutely tickled by it. hurhur.

cheap thrill.

inspiration

2010-09-12T22:56:00.001+08:00

i never truly understood the meaning of inspiration, until i met this couple, who laid down everything for the vision of God in their lives, then i understood true inspiration.

they truly inspire.

just like many around me have inspired me, in every single area.

and there came a secret desire, that i can live my life as an inspiration.

it is a burden in my heart.

the same DNA i caught, the same values i have, the spirit of sacrifice we carry, will be passed on, from this one, to the next, to the next and to the next generation.

it does affect me when people do not understand sacrifice.

because one of the essence of Christianity, is sacrifice. That is John 3:16.

it does affect me when people do not understand delayed gratification.

when they want something or someone, but they are not willing to wait for the right time.

when I saw the verse Acts 13:22, David did ALL of My will.

say “ALL” and all means, ALL.

how many of us, would one day be able to say, I have done everything God wants me to do.

My prayer, is that you, you and you, will walk worthy of the calling that God has given to you.

My prayer is, that my life can truly be an inspiration, that when u see how God has blessed me because I was willing to sacrifice, I was willing to lay down, I was willing to put aside my “wants”', as long as it is not in the will of God, God has blessed me 100 fold and beyond, and granted me the desires of my heart.

to walk worthy, of your calling.

090910

2010-09-10T02:59:00.001+08:00

and… I said “yes”.

made in CHC

2010-09-07T00:46:00.001+08:00

that day a friend text me n told me, someone asked her, what did CHC teach you?

she asked me, if it were you, how would you reply?

this was my reply.

CHC taught me… everything.

From being a student, to being a teacher

From being a disciple, to being a discipler

From being a child, to being a parent

From being a girl, to being a woman

From being a single, to being a girlfriend and one day, to being a wife.

What I am today, my values, my attitudes, my perspective, my lifetyle, is imparted to me in this special place.

my friend put it aptly – made in CHC.

judge me if u like, but i m a product of CHC.

“You can leave a church, an organisation, a pastor, a leader, but you never leave a family.” – Ed Silvoso

this is my family.

my quiet monday

2010-09-06T22:33:00.001+08:00

monday is such a pleasant day. haha.

no agenda, no deadlines.

just chilling time.

it was a slow monday…

eating at bugis, buying a pair of new shoes, and searching out books in the library.

after that, desserts with my baby! and home sweet home… haha.

i wanted to post abt dinner last night with dear dear’s family… it was his dad’s birthday.

had a great time, and his family is awesome. haha.

loving life.

enjoying all, in spite of :)

this week

2010-09-03T10:56:00.001+08:00

題目越來越沒有創意。因為不知道要用什麼字眼，來形容此時此刻的心情。

神學院結束後，應該能松一口氣，but life, does not seem to allow you to do that.

我有點累了。這場仗，好像在不斷的延長，that makes me feel like, 我不想幹了。

但是，放棄，從來都不在我們的字典裡，不是嗎？

今早，送走一個很要好的朋友兼戰友，很驚訝，自己在機場的時候，淚情不自禁的流。

除了思念之情之外，也發現，因為身邊少了一個可以傾訴，可以並肩作戰的對象。

記得昨天看到一句話，是米雪說的，一個人，我依然會微笑。

記得去年，當祂對我說話時，我如何回應祂。最近又想起我們那段談話。

感覺。這是生命裡的新篇章，但不管怎麼樣，不管排山倒海，不管前面道路有多困苦，我們都要，一直不停的走下去。

ttz, you r missed. really.

but i will keep on fighting, keep on running, keep on keeping on.

2010-08-24T16:16:00.001+08:00

i was reminded.

attitude is everything.

everything.

in the midst of everything, the most important thing, is my attitude.

because my attitude determines my altitude.

you can do it.

2010-08-20T17:51:00.001+08:00

just a lil’ overwhelmed.

just a little.

長長的週末

2010-08-10T00:38:00.001+08:00

哈哈哈。

這是哪門子的爛中文。長長的週末。

可是，真的是如此啊。

爽到～

開心，因為花了兩天時間和 dear dear 在一起。

雖然沒做什麼，只是吃吃飯，逛逛街，看看書，就很滿足了。（哦，我終於看完了一本！余華的《活著》很不錯。看到哭了耶，能這樣看完一本書，超有滿足感的。呵呵。）

人生簡單無比的樂趣。

可能是開始運動的關係，整個人都沒有那麼累，還是因為，太悠哉啦？？哈哈哈。

今天學了一個新句子。。。

曉亭小學堂時間。

學一學，這句話。

為虺弗摧，為蛇若何？

猜一猜。。。什麼意思？

不要懶惰了，自己去查字典吧！

哈哈。

好人做到底。。。

here you go. 我換到簡體了。因為從網路上摘下來的。

为虺弗摧，为蛇若何

意思是：小蛇不打死，成了大蛇怎么办？原喻要趁敌人弱小时就把它消灭，后泛指坏人要及早除掉

你。。。記得了嗎？

the ups (and downs) of life

2010-08-08T00:50:00.001+08:00

cannot recall when was the last time i was so stretched.

in times like this, i am always amazed when i look at the leaders around me, especially the different pastors and all, how on earth do they manage???

it was a long day, been some time since I have done things like that, but it’s good cos i m stepping out of my comfort zone. am tremendously encouraged by the sermon I preached. how, when we step out of our comfort zone, and get involved, somehow, we will see miracles, and the glory of God manifested in our lives.

Yes we can. because all things work together for the good of those who love Him.

in times like this, i am awfully thankful to God for my boyfriend, the one i can always run to in times of need. at the end of the day, no matter what i face, i know i can run to him, and it seems that everything will be ok. he is my pillar of support. God given. Not that i don’t need God la, but sometimes God work through people with skin on. hahaha.

and of course, i am awfully grateful to God, because He is the anchor of my soul. He is my hope. He is the one i can hang on to, and i know because of Him, everything is going to be alright. Thank you Jesus for the hope you have filled my heart with.

Sleeping very soon, though a long day, yet still not v tired. Cos I ate super late :( boo hoo, and now i wish my food will digest faster.

gogogo, xiaoting, ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.

anyway, for randomness sake, such a nice photo we took at 21st anniversary. oh and for that, it deserves another post for some another day, where I will thank my lovely God in heaven, for the opportunity to speak in the stadium. after an eleven yr break. wow.

it’s the time of the year

2010-07-27T17:41:00.001+08:00

it’s yet again, the time of the year.

somehow this year, i was not particularly looking forward to the time of the year, and this year feels so much more low key as compared to the past years.

i used to look forward to it a lot more when i was younger, not any more now, not because i am older, but, hmm i also don’t know y. haha.

anyway, maybe it’s just because i am not in the mood these few days. the stress is building up on all sides. i just need to learn to relax a little and SMILE.

yes girl SMILE.

SMILE… trying to.

the miracle of life

2010-07-25T04:53:00.001+08:00

my blog is very very very dead. i think. hahaha.

wow i just checked. the last post is exactly one month ago. or to be exact, one month and one day.

but i really don’t know what to post.

and why am i awake at this hour? because after 2 hours, i really cannot get to bed. and I gave up. so here I am.

after visiting Lifen n baby Jordan in January, today is really my first time visiting a friend whose child just came into the world yesterday.

it was such a surreal feeling.

and it’s the first time, that i really adore the newborn, admiring how cute she is.

i never could appreciate the beauty of newborns. but today i did.

and from the bottom of my heart, i felt happy for them.

生命的奇迹。

可以想象吗，神创造这世界的时候，祂到底放进多少心思，才有今天的宇宙呢？

一个男人和女人的连结，在九个月后，就有小生命诞生，而这小生命会慢慢成长，长大，成熟，生命本身，就是一个奇迹。

即使不认识神，在看到这么美丽的过程，也很难不去想象，我们的造物主是谁啊？祂怎么会有这样的智慧和本领，设计出这样延续下一代的方式。。。

而且，这也提醒了我，人与神的结合，也是如此。

the miracle of life.

乐熙，欢迎你来到这世界。

祝福你，在未来的日子，在爸爸和妈妈的呵护下，开心快乐的长大，and be, all that God wants you to be.

with love,

xiaoting & peter :)

Heartbreaks

2010-06-24T19:05:00.001+08:00

Yesterday i heard a word that stayed with me. 同理心。

If i can translate it, i probably use the word empathy.

Dictionary.com says, it is the identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives.

Empathy is so important.

Something I experienced when I got attached, was how i would feel really sad, when something breaks my bf’s heart.

I would tear, when there are tears in his heart.

the same thing happened to him.

In the very same way, there are many close to my heart. And when their heart breaks, my heart breaks too.

That links me to empathy.

This is separate but yet related.

Are we able, to put ourselves in the shoes of others, and understand their situation, feelings and motives?

Or do we only see our point of view, and our view only.

do we put ourselves in others’ shoes.

our leaders, parents, friends, cg members.

to be continued…

Psalms 27

2010-06-23T15:22:00.001+08:00

the word that God put in my heart yesterday.

Ps 27:13-14

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
         That I would see the goodness of the LORD
         In the land of the living.

Wait on the LORD;
         Be of good courage,
         And He shall strengthen your heart;
         Wait, I say, on the LORD!

中文的感动

2010-06-22T18:41:00.001+08:00

我想要重新拾起阅读的习惯，特别是中文文章。

因为时间的限制，读完一本书比较困难。

所以决定，从不同人的文章和部落格开始。

并且在这里记载，感动我的话。

如果有文章要推荐，please do so! :)

今天看到这段话。

有人说当你真心爱上一个人的时候

任何一点小事都会让自己感动都想与他分享

如果真是这样那无疑的我是幸福的

无疑的我是幸福的。 :)

发现了一个新作者

2010-06-22T18:10:00.001+08:00

我想读她的文章。

不是艺术可以取代宗教，而是宗教真实的体会与深度，赋予艺术一种非凡的内涵，因而走向超越的向度！

——陈韵琳：《超验的艺术》

Just thoughts

2010-06-20T00:34:00.001+08:00

thoughts running through my mind.

it was a super-mega long day, eventful, fruitful and of course tiring.

things weighing upon my heart.

just allow me to rant.

i love my Pastor. Without him, and without his ministry, I will never be who I am and where I am today.

When you love a person, and you hurt when the person hurts, that is love.

And when people out there, and the enemy out there, hurls darts, it hurts you too. Someone used this word malice. How aptly put. I thought so too. Malice.

It all boils down to the intent of your heart. That is why King David said

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight…” Ps 19:14

So, are the words of your mouth, and the meditation of your heart,acceptable in God’s sight?

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Someone said, the CHC DNA, have you caught it yet? there are some, who seemed like, they are really not catching it. And they are baffled, perplexed, frustrated.

www.konghee.com/blog

have you read it yet?

it reflects my pastor’s heart. really.

we are not blind. love is not blind. love sees. love looks at the heart.

Grace and Mercy

2010-06-10T16:29:00.001+08:00

Pst Phil touched on mercy on Tues. “Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”

Pst Bob taught about mercy today. I was not there, but was reminded of the importance of mercy.

I remembered, how Pastor will teach us, and Pst Ming will reiterate it, every time we see people making mistakes, don’t be quick to judge. But pray for them.

I remembered God spoke to me, to pray for my leaders, because they need a lot of wisdom to lead the church. And never to judge.

I read many who criticise, and feel provoked, but was reminded, not to judge, but to give grace and mercy.

The Lord will fight for us.

Learn to show mercy, in our word and deed.

Mercy triumphs over judgement.

Mercy.

my thoughts

2010-06-03T12:03:00.001+08:00

what an irony, that after such a great conference last week, that we were on tv just the following day, apparently it wasn’t something that positive.

i have been thinking hard, and of course praying hard these few days.

it is interesting to observe reactions from everybody, members of the public, the media, the church family and of course those who are ever-present, the critics.

this thing came to my mind when this whole issue erupted, that i was so reminded of what dr cho said. his words were etched in my mind. he said, that God told him to live in the 4th dimension. You can see as the 3rd dimension sees, or you can choose to live in the 4th dimension, to see what God sees, and speak what God speaks.

You know what? People can argue and criticise all they want, they can say whatever they like to say, they might even win the argument or the debate, but at the end of the day, we cannot deny the reality of the 4th dimension. cannot deny how, even though Dr cho’s age was catching up with him, how we sense his love and such a pure spirit that he has. how he carried such an anointing of the Lord with him. how can we, describe this with the 3rd dimension?

And many who are in the 3rd dimension, try to argue against us, criticise us, analyse us but they still fail to comprehend, why oh why, is CHC like that?

I will choose the 4th dimension, to see as God sees, speak as God speaks. The media can say what they want, the critics can say what they want, i will choose to believe in what God says about the situation. Amen.

The other thing is, i am so proud of my spiritual family. we have never claimed that we are perfect, but we are one united family. i m so overwhelmed, when i read on facebook and twitter, how people said they will stand by Pst, Sun and the leadership. It is not just the staff and the leaders, but i can sense the love from the family. I love you all so much! in times like these, many would have left, but you guys stayed, gave your support and trusted YOUR and MY family, and we will continue to stand.

I love my family. I love CHC. I love my home.

Yes, like many have said, if not for CHC, i would never be where I am today. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Don’t separate God from the church, it’s quite impossible. God moves through the church, and in the church, after all, Jesus is the head of this body. :) And He reigns!

Jia you people, let’s continue to pray for this house!

2010-05-22T11:48:00.001+08:00

just feeling a little sad.

as i was thinking about the people who chose to disappear from my life.

feeling a little drained.

i need You.

appreciation

2010-05-21T13:37:00.001+08:00

we should always, always, always be appreciative of people.

there r so many times, that we just take people for granted.

and hereeeeee, i want to thank my BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR BEING THE WORLD BEST BOYFRIEND!!!!!!

i honestly think so.

what am i to do, without a man who loves me so much.

SO HUGS AND KISSES FOR YOU!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: Pls excuse the author’s mushiness, because, it’s MY blog!!!

单单跟从我

2010-05-14T11:28:00.001+08:00

那天，祂说。

你所做的一切，只因为你爱我，也只因为，我要你怎么做。

和任何人无关。

祂提醒我，祂对彼得说的话。

『与你何干，你跟从我吧』

是啊，我们生命的呼召，就只是单单跟从祂。

其他的，一点有不重要。

有些人蒙召做保罗、有些人蒙召做彼得、又有人蒙召做约翰。

但有些人一生，只能做安德烈。

你会甘心乐意的跟从祂吗？

做祂要你做的事。

『不可偏离左右』，只要单单跟从祂。

when trying ur best is not good enough

2010-04-18T16:36:00.001+08:00

i just like giving up.

and i cried and cried and cried and cried.

i don’t want to go home.

Day 2 in Kaohsiung

2010-04-14T10:26:00.001+08:00

Came back to hotel and skyped with dear and slept at 2 plus am, praying that my nose will be ok the next day.

Pulled myself our of bed at 8 plus am for breakfast with Pst Stephen.

That was so fun! Pst Stephen had been in ministry for so long and he shared with me very exciting stories… about his salvation, his life, CHC in earlier days, his relationship with Pst Kong. I loooovvveeeee it. Had lots of fun talking to him and hearing from him. I m excited about the meetings already.

Signing off now, going to take some rest, work, till the first meeting tonight.

:))))) excited.

thoughts of the day: God is really in control. He is somehow so in control in ways we do not know. Sometimes we try too hard to help him, we need to learn to trust and be led. :)

byeeeee peeeepppppssssss!

Day 1 in Kaohsiung

2010-04-14T10:21:00.001+08:00

It was a mad rush yesterday, trying to pack everything after SOT, and settle everything before i board the flight.

it was a small plane, so the take off was much more felt than usual.

i never missed someone so much in my entire life i think, except maybe mum.

felt so terrible when the plane took off and i was all alone.

i used to love flying a lot, but i realised i loved a certain someone more.

thank God that they were showing Did you hear about the Morgans so I had fun watching it. :)

caught some sleep and caught a slight cold too. so my nose was all runny on the train. hurhur.

a Taiwan friend of CHC picked us up and checked us into the hotel at 12 plus am. Thank you so much! i prayed and told God, the only thing i really need is internet access, and thank God that they have it. i m so blessed.

so here i am blogging, and i will probably update u guys in kaohsiung!

i m so sorry that i don’t have photos. did not bring a camera cos camera spoilt and i forgot to borrow one. silly me. :(

thank u baby for the little black book. it keeps me a little more sane.

love this day!

要是我有一百万

2010-04-12T01:30:00.001+08:00

我要环游世界

thinking

2010-04-12T00:54:00.001+08:00

was just reading someone’s blog that touched me a lot.

missed that sentimental n nostalgic part of me.

ever since i started dating, i really seldom spent time thinking abt things.

and tonight, i sat there, just thinking.

i’m flying to taiwan in approximately 42 hours. i know i m going to miss my baby, but i also know, i really need this break.

things have been zooming past me too fast.

work, ministry, relationship and life.

i need a breather. i need to think.

i need You.

so many things have happened, that there r days i sat there, thinking, i dunno how to do it without You.

i love You. :)

2010-04-06T00:09:00.001+08:00

dear God

we often do not understand why things happen the way they do.

there have been so much going on lately, sometimes it seems that it’s more than what i can bear.

sometimes i wish, i can just take a big break and press the reset button.

but still i’m thankful to you, for the cross of calvary. without which, i could never have my life today. i honestly dunno, where i will be without You.

there are too many impossible situations in life, that we just cannot deal with on our own, and we desperately need You.

so from the bottom of my heart, I’m asking for that strength that will take me through. and also my frens who are hurting too.

thank You.

overwhelming Easter

2010-04-05T23:11:00.001+08:00

many things happened this easter.

falling terribly sick is one of them.

God won’t you come… and make everything better?

manifest Yourself.

the word

2010-04-01T11:48:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, this passage caught my eye. And I was so touched by it as I read it again.

God told Jeremiah about the good figs. The promise that He gave to me.

Jer 24:6-7

6 My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them.

7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.

the song of our lives

2010-03-31T12:53:00.001+08:00

this song touched me a lot, because it really described what i’ve been through before i got attached.

不要惊动爱情

很想轻抚你所以避开你
宁愿用距离去令你好奇
回避过眼神先偷偷喘气
吩咐手臂放在原地
传闻浪漫太快爱恋都走得快
才会迟迟未步向你说一世爱护你

情太过汹涌像深海而我却会忍耐
但求来日你醒过来
这份情像翅膀打开
还没有相拥别意外神教会我等待
待情流像细水才去承诺你
拿一生兑换爱

很心急拥抱所以在祷告
求甜蜜以前带著你慢步
游历过旅途等一天终老
生老病死一起细数
原来慢慢靠近更珍惜这一吻
而我停留是为了你要给予你护荫

能为爱恋学习按捺情信寄进心内
但求能学会倚靠神
爱被驯服过更精采
连地老天荒亦不更改时间永远等待
等你情愿那天才去承诺你
无止境那份爱
我用沈默叫醒爱情你用期待做你反应
继续行近直至开始爱

<3

2010-03-31T12:26:00.001+08:00

i usually resist blogging a post dedicated to my bf, but this morning i woke up feeling like doing this.

coming to suntec feels different nowadays, because no one will pick me up at the gate, and buy breakfast with me, and carry my laptop for me, and hug me on the way to work.

yet i know he is in a much better place(SOT la) and i am happy that he is encountering God and receiving and growing like never before.

I am thankful to God for him in my life, the one who would call me every morning, wish me goodnight everyday, and who will always be there for me.

When i said that my bf is going SOT and working full-time, a friend said that I needed to be very understanding. In my heart i knew it’s the other way round. He is always the understanding one, that tries to work around my schedule, to just spend time with me everyday and every week. He is the one, who will spring little surprises on me all the time, cards, chocs, sweets, snacks… you name it, i may have it.

And he is my hero, because in spite of all these things, he still works hard to fulfil his work obligations, loves God, loves me the best he can. And he will forgo his sleep, just to pick me up at 230am after OPM, and going home to sleep a few hours before going for SOT again.

I don’t know what I have done, to deserve a man who loves me like that, but from the bottom of my heart, baby i want you to know, that I love you, and thank you for being a huge part of my life.

lots and lots and lots of love,

from your princess.

early monday morning

2010-03-29T08:55:00.001+08:00

it was an eventful week, and crazily busy week.

It’s so seldom that i get to sit down and blog like that, at this hour.

it’s a monday, so i was supposed to be sleeping till 我自然醒。

我七点半就自然醒了。

Some things happened last week, some personally to me, some not. In all, it was a pretty stressful week for me, with all the challenges rising up to my neck. Days that I feel the devil was screaming in my face… and i have to grit my teeth and just go thru it. Days that i feel like giving up, and wonder what it is that I can do. And my heart goes out, because of certain things that were said and mentioned, that hurt people I love.

After a night’s sleep, everything seems a little different. I am a little calmer, and I thank God for my bf who is always around. Whom i can cry with, pray with, and whom i know will always be with me. He is really God’s gift to me.

This morning I was just thinking, that not everybody will understand why we are doing what we are doing, but it doesn’t matter as well. Some things will change, but some will not. It’s a spiritual kingdom and a spiritual family, and not just an institution, and that will never change.

And to those who disagree, it doesn’t matter, because we will continue moving on. But what we love, we will defend, and like what a friend said, when you talk about CHC, you r not just talking about a church or an organisation, it’s my spiritual home and family. We thank God for great leaders, and thank God for His wisdom, and the unity and family He has given to us. This is something we will guard and protect all our lives.

No offense to the people who disagree, we still love you the same, just hope that in your disagreement, you will not say things that will hurt my family. And I thank you for that.

To end off, i love what Ruth said. And I pray, that I will always have such an attitude in my life, towards God, towards His house, and the people He has placed in my life.

Ruth 1:16-17

But Ruth said:
      “ Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
      For wherever you go, I will go;
      And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
      Your people shall be my people,
      And your God, my God.

Where you die, I will die,
      And there will I be buried.
      The LORD do so to me, and more also,
      If anything but death parts you and me.”

What I love, I will defend

2010-03-28T19:42:00.002+08:00

Overwhelmed in a meeting.

Tears flowed, like never before.

I shared his sentiments. I'm deeply saddened. Felt it not just today, but way back, when i read different things that surfaced.

They said these r acts of love. I love, therefore I m doing what I m doing. But, what u love, u will defend isn't it?

Ask constructively in love.

Questioning ur family publicly is not love, is it?

Its an attitude of demanding, not asking.
And demanding, from the man who laid down his whole life, questioning him.

I felt so grieved.

This is not blind faith, this is wholly following my God and the man He has placed over my life.

This is loyalty. This is the spirit of ruth.

I love my senior pst, becos if not for him, we will nv be where we r tdy. I love Sun, for all the sacrifices that she has made. There r so many things made public, but there r so much of their love, tears and sacrifices that r unknown.

City harvest is not just an organisation. Its the church of the living God. Its the spiritual home that God has placed me in. Its not a society, or a place that we can strut our stuff. It's God's house and our spiritual home.

I love and trust the leadership, this house, and I know, that I will lay down my life for this man, and this church.

Thank u Jesus. Its an awesome privilege to serve you in this house.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

keep on keeping on

2010-03-28T10:14:00.001+08:00

2 Cor 4:7-15

⁷ But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

⁸ We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

⁹ persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—

¹⁰ always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.

¹¹ For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

¹² So then death is working in us, but life in you.

¹³ And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed and therefore I spoke,”^[a]we also believe and therefore speak,

¹⁴ knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you.

¹⁵ For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.

i love my church

2010-03-26T14:49:00.001+08:00

was just pondering about some things, and just felt in my heart, that deep down, i love the house of the Lord and i love my church.

have been feeling disturbed by how.. people demand for their rights and trying to turn the KOG and the church into a democracy. Why are we using the principles of this world, and imposing it on the KOG?

We are not perfect right from the start. We are imperfect, but we are a body and we are a family. We rely on the Holy Spirit and do the best we can, relying on God the best we know how.

Jesus is the head of this house. He is the head of this body. Where He leads, we go, and we follow the ones that He has placed in our lives.

Call me naive if you would. But the 12 disciples followed Jesus wherever He went.

And i love my church, my leaders, my pastors and this house God has placed me in.

How awesome is this place, the gate of Heaven.

And so, let’s rejoice, in this awesome place that God has given to us. For where two or three are gathered, there You will be among us. This is Your church. :)

randoms

2010-03-24T18:41:00.001+08:00

have been interpreting in Bible School and loving it.

these few days, happened to meet a few people, talked to a few people, and in spite of a busy schedule, some thots running thru my mind.

am grateful to God for this opportunity to serve in this manner. im in awe of how God uses me, and aware that, without Him, all these could not have been possible.

am just absolutely happy that bf is in SOT. he is my motivation to wake up every morning and it’s so amazing i just wake up at 630am every morning to go to SOT. cool. and i love it that every day, we will just share abt how thoughts, what God has been speaking and it has just been awesome. that is one of the reason y i m loving SOT.

God is enlarging my mindset, showing me things, giving me new visions and dreams, giving me opportunities i never dreamed about, and people who believe in me. i am just grateful.

i’m just really love this house, especially the leaders and most of all my senior pastor. He surprises me at times, but i am still in awe of this man of God. His humility, his love of God, his in spite of faith.

Pst Ming shared an awesome word in SOT that blew my mind, and i was so touched.

we all need one such rabbi in our lives.

thank you for placing in me in this awesome spiritual family.

revive it!

2010-03-23T00:53:00.001+08:00

my blog is quite dead.

let’s revive it.

it has been a lot of busyness. yes. a lot of pator-ing.

easter is coming.

in less than 2 weeks’ time!!!!

gosh.

before u know it, it will be Asia Conference.

i need my time multiplied.

on the other hand, have been enjoying sot.

been thinking about a few things.. and i desperately need to catch up on friends i know.

other than my cg, i hardly see my friends!!!

hahaha. okk. i m not whining.

have a lot of thoughts on my mind… but i was too lazy to pen them down.

i really should.

ciao for now!

nights. (it’s a rare night that i m online at this time! haha)

2010-03-14T10:31:00.001+08:00

did i tell you how much i needed Him?

was pondering about some things this whole week. and the conclusion was that i just desperately needed Him.

need Him to come through for me.

and show His power so real.

and fight for me.

yes fight for me.

and show me how to think, what to think.

i need the wisdom. the grace.

overhaul.

2010-03-02T11:18:00.001+08:00

had a great talk with dear yest.

were just reminiscing the days before we got attached.

it was so enjoyable talking about the whole process again.

and of course, the sharing from the heart. :)

i agree, that it is not the work of man.

2010-02-28T10:34:00.001+08:00

i dunno why i laid awake at 2 plus am in the night, pondering through this issue.

i dunno why, it weighs so much upon my heart.

i could easily write it off, or brush it aside.

but i just simply could not.

there is something wrong in this whole thing…

what is worse… is to be wrong but still thinking that u r doing the right thing.

i feel God leading me somewhere, showing me something.

I need Your wisdom.

2010-02-23T18:22:00.001+08:00

i feel disturbed.

because of the lack of respect and reverence.

love what Pst Tan shared tdy.

About acceptance. in spite of the imperfections.

That we choose to love and accept, in spite of the imperfections.

That is the work of the Holy Spirit.

I refuse a critical mindset, doesn’t make it right simply because i don’t understand or i don’t agree.

2010-02-23T18:15:00.001+08:00

overwhelming load. coming from everywhere.

plus the tremendous discomfort.

but i m a happy girl.

because of the happiness in my life.

my in spite of joy. :)

getting attached

2010-02-19T11:31:00.001+08:00

honestly, it’s only feb 19. and people on my left, right, up and down are getting attached.

2010 is the getting-attached yr. hahaha.

2010-02-11T16:06:00.001+08:00

i contemplated but was very reluctant to even embark on anything.

i simply did not want to get into a debate.

lulu was right, that debating doesn’t seek out the truth, it just seeks to find out the winner.

remind me. why did i even try. :(

i hope it is worth the effort.

i heart my bf

2010-02-11T02:12:00.001+08:00

i dun intentionally come up here to just rave about it.. but i thought he deserves a post of credits. haha.

yesterday there was no zone meeting, so we left work looking for a place for dinner, and i suddenly recalled that the shoes that i really wanted had a branch in bugis. Dear mentioned that he wanted to buy me a pair of shoes, so we went to check it out.

can i tell you.. i love the wedges there so much!!! (the shop is trois-inch i think) and i fell in love with the pretty pretty wedges!!! so i tried them on and was having a hard time deciding which one, when my dear said, let’s get both of them.

HE BOUGHT ME 2 PAIRS OF WEDGES AT ONE GO.

mind you, the shoes there r not cheap, they r the most expensive wedges i now own, even more expensive than my pedro’s.

I HEART MY BF.

and he is always there for me, and would readily be there when i need him.

baby, thank you for everything.

for your love, generosity, for ur presence always and for being my pillar of support.

it’s an awesome privilege to be ur gf.

so….. LOVE YOU LOTSSSSSSSS.

day 28

2010-02-05T11:43:00.001+08:00

today is day 28.

it’s significant. so i must blog it.

we were attached 4 weeks ago.

i feel like, i have finally gotten used to this, and coming to terms with the fact that i’m attached. (in a good way)

it has been so surreal for so long, but coming to one month… yes i m feeling it.

it’s such an unspeakable feeling, to know that u r alone, yet u r not really alone, like ur life is no longer yours.

that was what i was feeling when exercising last night.

and my thoughts on day 27, when holding hands, hugging, saying i love you is no longer a novelty, unlike week 1, what do you live on?

you live on commitment.

i can’t help it, but notice how a love relationship is so similar to our walk with God.

when attending church, worshipping God and being in His presence is no longer a novelty, what do you live on?

you live on commitment.

your commitment to Him and to one another.

sidenote: yesterday i finally got started on THE story. but my bf said he wanted to hear my voice.

so i’m sorry friends. it’s temporarily halted. haha.

be back for more!

it’s worth the wait

2010-02-01T11:28:00.001+08:00

received a msg from a fren, telling me how amazed she is by my love story.

i was instantly reminded, what God told me last year, that I have sown and sacrificed for years.

And this is a result, of all the sacrifice and obedience.

I rem that i always tell people this story.

A little girl went to the market one day, and saw a pearl necklace she really liked.

She saved up for it, and on her birthday, her grandma gave her 1 pound, and she was able to buy the necklace.

She loved her necklace so much, and wore it everywhere she went and took good care of it.

One day before she went to bed, her daddy came to her, and asked, do you love me honey?

She said, yes daddy i love you.

Her daddy asked again, would you give me anything i want?

She hesitantly said, yes i think so.

Daddy: Would you give me your pearl necklace?

Girl: Daddy… anything but that pearl necklace.

Daddy: Girl. do you love me?

Girl: Daddy… i do love you.

Daddy: then would you give me your pearl necklace?

With tears in her eyes, she slowly took off her pearl necklace, n placed it in her dad’s hands.

Girl: Yes daddy, because i love you…

With a smile on his face, daddy took out something.

A real pearl necklace.

It always reminds me of my life.

the many things i have laid down… God is putting back in my hands.

multiplied many times and running over.

God.. love you.

2010-01-31T10:39:00.001+08:00

the never ending battles

we will arise again.

anchor of our soul

2010-01-29T17:35:00.001+08:00

my heart broke.

really.

Heb 6:13-19

13 For when God made a promise to Abraham, because He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself,

14 saying, “Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you.”

15 And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.

16 For men indeed swear by the greater, and an oath for confirmation is for them an end of all dispute.

17 Thus God, determining to show more abundantly to the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, confirmed it by an oath,

18 that by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us.

19 This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil,

20 where the forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.

we cannot lose the hope, that is the anchor of our soul.

a whole new world

2010-01-27T14:59:00.001+08:00

some have asked me, how is life like now that you are attached…?

i had a feeling, before i was attached, that getting attached will change my life. and it did. radically did. :)

on day 13, my bf gave me a present for our 2weeks anniversary.

it’s a musical box that plays a whole new world.

and it does sum up my life now.

u do start living your life radically differently…

and nowadays, i started realising people ard me are getting married.

so what does that mean?

i feel like i have grown up.

when my lunches revolve around topics of flats and marriages and bridal gown.

not to mention a good friend who is getting married at the end of this year. (which reminds, i need to lose weight to look good for her wedding. lol. )

isn’t this a whole new world?

the excitements, irony and progress of life.

i’m growing up.

the 24th year is quite a journey already.

promise… updates on THE story soon. hahaha.

homologeo

2010-01-27T11:01:00.001+08:00

somehow, this word kept coming back to my mind.

i was reminded of someone. and the importance of homologeo.

doesn’t mean we throw away logic n reasoning, but sometimes, God is more than reason, isn’t it?

we try to contain God in a box. and think that God can fit into our many theories and arguments and logic.

it seems even silly to say this. or perhaps it seems like i’m committing intellectual suicide, but i choose to believe otherwise.

i choose to believe, that i can homologeo, but i am not being naive or gullible.

i choose to believe, i can have critical thinking, but not be critical in my spirit.

i choose to believe, that faith is reasoned trust.

i want to hear, what God says and not what man says.

i want to think, like how God thinks and not how man thinks.

homologeo.

putting on the mind of Christ.

the John 21 moment

2010-01-25T11:34:00.001+08:00

Sunday morning.

P to X: Do you still love me?

X to P: … For a moment dear, i feel like Peter.

after many seconds…

X to P: Dear.. I love you!

P to X: You still need to say one more time.

my boyfriend claims that i have a habit, of turning our whole relationship into the scriptures.

比比看，谁比谁多？

2010-01-25T11:30:00.001+08:00

*the top one is my bf’s bb. bottom one is mine.

for once, my number of unread emails is XXXX more than his.

for once.