ouch. that hurts darling. hurt big time.

9 more days to the end of 'a' levels. wooh. the thot of it excites me. haha.

things xiaoting wants to do after 'a' levels (irrespective of priority)
1. go cg meeting! haha.
2. fellowship n chill out with members n frens.
3. reach out
4. concert!
5. play play n play
6. read read n read (not notes thank God!) I wan to finish hong lou n all the books i m holding on to.
7. relax n dye my hair
8. shop shop n shop!
9. serve in bookstore! boy.. dun i miss it..

these r for the mths in 2004.. in 2005...

1. volunteer work.
2. relief teach
3. work?
4. missions trip
5. israel
6. china!
7. buck up on my Chinese n English
8. Guitar.. my long lost hobby.
9. read gu dian wen xue.
10. change my image? haha.
11. i want my relationship to God to grow up to the next level..

there r so much to do.. these r only temporary. haha. i will be back.
2.

wow. these 2 days have been phenomenal haven't it? it jus seem like God has really brought us to another level. it has been great! n it will get better n better n better...

something pst ulf said.. dun ever stop being amazed by God.. the things that He is doing. dun ever stop this excitement.. for the salvation of souls n wad God is doing.

yah. dun ever get tired of being amazed. becos He is far too amazing.
dun ever get tired of being excited. becos there is sth new everyday for u to be excited about.
dun ever get used to the point u take it for granted.. that shall be the day it will be taken from u.
but if u remain faithful.. He will bring u from glory to glory strength to strength.

it is a new level. it is done. it is MISSIONS EXPLOSION.

a lot of times i was jus telling God "if only u come true for me". i was preparing for my paper tml n i was telling God the same thing. den God told me. "hey, i will always come true for u. it jus depends us on how much u trust in me."

aint that true? a lot of times we think things lie in God's hands. yah, He is in control. but He gave us a will n a choice too. to trust in Him.

here to blog. but acty i dunno wad to write. this always gets into me when i mug. haha. well today i went to the gym. so sorrie guys for not being there with u all on mon. thank God i werent there.. u all left the place like at 1 plus? haha. but well, working out does feel good.

due to dearest chan eng's influence, i have been so paranoid lately counting CALORIES. haha. for ur info, one bottle of pokka guava has 145 kcal. haha. n peelfresh per serving has 102?? i wanted to drink that u noe. haha. so sick.. den mayo per serving u got like 96 kcal? ying was saying it is very tong ku to live liddat. haha. okie lah.. well, to look gorgeous, u got to sacrifice.

anyway i realy dun have much to say.. pple enjoy ur hols ya? n make it to good use pls. haha. that is all for now. ;)

i want to have a heart of worship.

Jeremiah 9:23-24

Thus says the Lord: "Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, Let not the mighty man glory in his might, Nor let the rich man glory in his riches; But let him who glories glory in this, That he understands and knows Me, That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight," says the Lord.

reached home perhaps like one hour ago. today saw pst kong n sun in the car n they waved to us. pst kong is so nice! haha. becos the car drove past us n he waved to us first. wad frenly pastors i have.. haha.

u noe sumtin? i was watching the video "glam" which pst sun was on. watching it den made me realise y do i really like her so much n respect her.. she is really different. n the host said that she has a great attitude. that is wad i completely agree with. when u have a GREAT attitude.. u r different. yup..

atmosphere.. attitude.. authority.. altitude.

if u want ur life to get greater n greater, ur worship got to get better n better too. wow.

今天看了好多好多电视，其实对大脑一点也不好，让大脑退化的更快。但是，今天我学了一个很重要的道理，坚持。

看了流星花园，夏日香气，金枝玉叶，让我发现到不管做什么都要坚持，因为这世上其实没有什么是长久的。你的爱情，友情，热忱，都需要你的坚持去维持。没有什么事情是理所当然的。

有一天，如果你碰上你喜欢的人，和他结婚生孩子，当初和他那种心跳的感觉是会消失的。你不能靠感觉来维持一段感情。世界的变化很多，今天是的，明天可能成为不是。任何事情都可能发生的。there r no absolutes in this world. 所以，更有许多事情是要依靠我们的信念和坚持的。

我会坚持。

我会坚持和他的感情。即使我看不到，听不到，感觉不到，我还是会坚持的。
He will remain faithful even when we are faithless, because He cannot deny Himself.
就因为他说的这句话。
If you can't see His hands moving, trust His heart.

i m slacking. geez. i slacked the whole of today. naughty naughty gal. jus blog surfing n feeling.. hmmmm...

i really like this song. check it out.

你擦眼泪 习惯借我 的左手
想要靠枕就用我 右手
电视里面 那坏男人 不是我
怎么又拿 我当出气筒
其实你逛街时候 比我 还能走
口头禅却又常常说 背我
你问我是否交到野恋的女友
我发觉你眼神里十分温柔
你总爱贴 在我怀里像只无尾熊
说这辈子你就谁定应该 被我宠
就算我坏得像连续剧里的刘文聪
听了也立志当英雄
你总是说 尤加利只属于无尾熊
不能看别人 只能看你可爱的脸孔
偶尔你 情绪闹得再凶 我也不许动
用我胸膛为你挡风
有人的爱情只有一夜 那么久
很庆幸我们还能手牵手
因为你 我才会有更宽更厚的胸口
能这样一直到老 也不错

yay! finally i can blog!!!! haha. tried for so long n i think there is sumtin wrong with blogspot.

i finished my lep paper! can u like believe it? yesterday i was toking chan eng it seems like a part of me had left me u noe. but acty i still have it. but thinking that i dun have to read 红楼梦，茶馆，冬夜，诗词，so on n forth is like.. hmm.. not joy u noe, but i dunno wad lah. i was like looking at my stuff n the thot that i need not cram down this info anymore, i need not read it anymore, is like.. empty? haha. u mean i no need to stay up till the wee hours again? u mean i will nv get a chance to write thousands of words within 3 hours again? (until my hands get a cramp). wow. acty the feeling is really sad, or shld i say nostalgic. acty i like the phrase john's fren wrote. "how can it be nostagia when it all seems like yesterday?" n it is yesterday. geez.

u noe acty there is somuch joy studying lep. all the spotting n speculating b4 the exam. haha. all the joy or sadness when wad u study came out or not. the pathetically trying to write non-stop during the paper. the conjuring of quotes from wad u crammed last night. the late night sleep. the reciting of hong lou jus b4 the paper. the asking of "u mean u did that"? "i studied that!""cha guan was so diff!" "did li qing zhao husband die?" the appearing of wang lao shi after the paper to tabulate his statistics(super ks, haha.) 有钱就该吃喝嫖赌，haha. 改良改良，越改越良，冰凉！ the 贾宝玉，王熙凤，(wang lao shi's favourite) 袭人，(kapo's favourite) and so on n so forth. all the mugging for yesterday. n it was jus like that. 2 yrs!!!! all for yesterday. n it passed without even waiting for us.

well. it has come to an end. n it was such a precious memory that we had to take a lovegety pic to register that. i will remember that fateful day, nov 5, i took the first bus with a bunch of crazy pple, went to bugis, laughed all the way, sat at a super hot hawker centre, shopped in bugis, acting like crazy kids in the lovegety machine, requesting for a "ctrl alt delete", hurry up, no time redi, all the squeezing like siao, futh where r u??, all in the fateful day. n all of us went home on our separate ways, with our separate thots, perhaps we were all united in thots? thinking abt that which brought us together --- lep.

wish me all the best! it is 445 am in the morning n i only slept a bit more than 2 hours to take my beloved lep paper. i m leaving soon. in one hour's time. this is the last lep paper of my days.. wish me all the best! acty i still got quite a bit haven study yet. hiak. hahaha. after this i m free!

i dunno should i laugh or cry. to say honestly, i think i wrote out of point in my essay. the more i think abt it, the more out of point it seems. xiaoting xiaoting.. haix. so i choose not to think about it okie.. haha.

my primary calling is to be a follower of Christ.

Wow. today's service blew my mind. i love the presence of God. love the priveilege to be a worshipper of God. guess sometimes we have been a Christian for so long that we become "martha" isn't it? we get our priorities wrong. we r having a ministry, not serving Jesus. we fail to wait upon Him. but our primary calling is to be at the feet of Jesus. proskuneos.

suddenly feel that i m really an emotional creature. jus now i was jus waiting for sg idol results when i cried! haha. becos chris is out of the show. wow wow to xiaoting. haha. not that i really like him a lotltotltot. but the fact that he has been there for so long working so hard is jus so sad. i realli feel sad for him? haix. it is a tough world out there.

i was jus reading jin hui's blog. n to tell the truth, xiaoting is very tired too. worn out. totally. not lack of sleep kind of thing but this whole mugging business is making me really tired. i was jus sitting in bk for 4 hours n man, after that i felt like everything was sucked out of me u noe. i went to the library, sat down, and it felt so peaceful. God xiaoting needs u needs u needs u needs u. needs u. NEEDS U.

due to popular demand (by john), xiaoting is back to blog again. well, the reason i have not been here to blog for days is because i have been busy mugging. so when u r hitting the books, wad is there to say except for wad is written in my books? haha. but still, my God is a colourful God, so He add colors to my life. so i do have things to write after all.

hmm.. okie. starting from monday. my prac was good! in the sense that i can do it and i can finish it. haha. because i flopped my phy prac in prelims.. there was a little apprehension. but well, in the morning b4 the prac, God's presence came upon me like waves. n i was so touched by His presence that i breezed thru my prac. hee.

so i have been mugging. mon tues wed and hopefully today. well i went to the gym on tues. (everybody drops jaw) u mean u go to the gym? haha. yes. like once in a blue moon. but well, i m hitting the machines today again. haha. congrats to xiaoting. well, i have to get rid of the excess weight on my body before i can look glamourous in my prom dress. dun u agree? but i doubt that i can be really successful. haha. well, at least i will try. ;)

yest night toked to mic a little. it feels good to get in touch with old frens. i m meeting minyi to study tml. i was telling my fren that exams is a good time to be in contact with frens. haha. yah.. i think that is abt it. oh yes, one more thing. was jus flipping thru my essays written last yr. i came to realise that i wrote with a lot of conviction in the past. surprisingly. dunno y i lose that passion and conviction and only write with politically correct words and tone. if i write with conviction again, will i get my a1? haha. pls pray hard for me for my straight 'a's k.. this time i m really working hard and depending my God with all my life to see the best results in all my life too. Gambetha!

ouch. xiaoting feeling a little nostalgic. especially after reading john's blog. hmm.. yah. e18 is now e18 n e357. n yes, i noe that God is indeed at work in this cg.

but to imitate john (dun be blown up boy) this is for all those in e18..

cecilia. u r here as long as i can remember. n hey gal, xiaoting gonna miss u lots. for always being there n being so faithful. cg was different becos of u.

chee wee. u have grown! somuch so much.. keep on shining.. keep on playing! i noe u have a great destiny.. allow that destiny to come true in ur life!

carrie. u have grown too. haha. n u have come a long way. n i noe u have really made an effort to love God the best u can.. keep on loving Him ya? love ya lots too.

jonathon. it was a joy to see u growing in this cg and to see u love Him so simply. u r so faithful n always there.. God is gonna reward u for ur faithfulness. n God is faithful in ur life. n He will continue to be.

jinhui. u have taught me a lot honestly.. with ur wide knowledge n thanx for always being so available to help! we may see each other in uni.

ashley. it is always good to be zealous for God n continue to be. God will keep on working in ur life.. and many times there r going to be mouldings. You will be moulded by Him like u nv did before. yield to Him n His Holy Spirit and u gonna do jus fine!

valerie. i can see the spark in u. continue to love Him n serve Him k.. dun ever grow tired of loving Him. He deserves ur best.

yin giet. hey gal u can do it! u r a champion n a beautiful princess of God.. know who u r in Christ k..

jacqueline. u may feel new in this place but make this place ur home k? God loves u and all of us love u alot too! *hugs*

stephen. i noe u can't stand noise! haha. n i always unknowingly "shout" into ur ears. haha. hey.. God is looking for true worshippers.. be a true worshipper of God k..

cyan. i m glad to see u in e18 n in city harvest. keep on growing loving n shining. He has something great in store for u. see ur frens getting saved in hc k?

last but not least mr cheo. haha. of cos i can't leave u out. you have been a great gift from God to xiaoting. as much as i hate to admit it. (to avoid boosting ur ego) but i m going to miss ur presence in cg alot. i have seen u maturing.. growing to be a fine young man n shining for God, being kingdom-minded. dun stop here! u have a great destiny in Him. keep in touch k.. my hse is always open for *poor* kids. haha.

xiaoting is really feeling nostalgic. i love e18!!! n e357 too.. haha. i m gonna miss all of u. all of u. we have been thru so much.. haha. but yet God always bring us from glory to glory.. keep on loving loving Him ya?

n e357, let us keep on loving Him n grow in Him k..

p.s. hey some of us planned to go mission trip tog remember? haha.

cg multiplied!!!!!!!!!!

yah. i m officially from cg E357. a bit unbelievable. becos i have been in e18 for as long as i can remember. but i m really happy that e18 multiplied. yah. cos it is in God's will to be fruitful n multiply.

remember that when sis meiyan say that cg is going to multiply, n we were cheering, den she said let's give God a big hand. den it jus hit me that indeed it is the work of God for the cg to be FRUITFUL n MULTIPLY. well, all from e18, i m gonna miss u!

m listening to cyndi's song. was jus hearing the music. pure music without singing n stuff. it is really nice. suddenly it jus occurred to me how beautiful God's creation is. it is so amazing that music can be so soothing. this is wad ailing put in an email to me. n i love this quote.

"Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance."

Ain't that true? haha. suddenly feeling very nostalgic. no, actually that is not the word. 感性. this is the word. yah.. suddenly sitting here.. mugging.. u will be feeling that urgh! i dun like this world at all. there r so many problems isn't it? this is such an imperfect world. but sometimes sitting here.. listening to the simplest things. looking at the DEEP blue sky. i will always be in wonder of God's creation. though this world is so imperfect, life seems so sian. sometimes we dunno wad we want, where we r going, wad will happen to us tml, life seems to be dragging. but yet, whenever i lift up my head, open my ears n my eyes, to see n hear, well, i see a beautiful world. that my God created. i appreciate the fact that i can see hear smell touch the beautiful things in this world. i thank God that there is a sky there is light there is a moon there are stars there is music there are plants n flowers there is snow wind dew water sunlight clouds. that there r frens members family relatives siblings nephews nieces cousins leaders classmates bro n sis in Christ. yah. whether the cup is half full or half empty is up to u.

i love! i love my life my God my frens my family my cg my church my cca lep my class my ex-class my ex ex class my sch my ex-ex-sch my ex-ex-ex sch i even love SIngapore. hahahaha. well iwant to be a person of love. becos there r many things for me to love. i want to be optimistic becos there r many things that make me smile. i want to be happy because happy are the people whose Lord is God... ah! i m happy elated exhilarated ecstatic intoxicated spirited BLESSED！do i sound crazy? well there is a joy in me that i can't contain. haha. can't contain.

i m blessed!