fun!

last sunday, for the first time in many months, i was in town playing. haah. now i sound like a kid? playing? question mark.. haah. but anyway i was in town with my members. and i had such a great time. i came home feeling like it's been a long time since i enjoyed myself like that. (: n pool is fun.

it is saturday again.

i think i said it before that saturday is a blogging day. n yep it is. here i m back blogging again. xiaoting loves toking. dun u think so?

this week certain things happen. n once again trials that come my way. with trials that also came a revelation. i need to rise up n overcome these things once again. i m an overcomer.

the last week we met sun a lot of times! n i m so excited. woke up at 5am on fri morning to go send her off. n i m awfully glad that i did. love ya lots sun n going to miss u alot.

n on wed night sillily rushed to tm to watch v for vendetta n missed out on 15 mins of the show. it is such an impt 15 mins! haah.

n i really did study quite a bit this week. great improvement. haah. hopefully n prayerfully i will be ready for my exams. jia you ger.

things may not turn out the way u wan it. but that doesnt always mean it is a bad thing. God is in control.

i m falling in love..

with blogging n history. haah. jus had my last chinese lecture yest. it was a blast! i really really like my chinese history tcher. so very much. yest i jus had a revelation. n i think it was the Holy Spirit who told me. that i m studying in china right now, i probably will not get this kind of history lesson. which i totally agree.

i was jus so excited and so stirred up by wad lan lao shi say n honestly, i think this is wad God wants me to know. and it might jolly well as sth to do with my calling. i m sooooo interested in cultural revolution. it is like such an interesting part of history. wad will the development of China be 3 yrs frm now when i get out of NTU? will it be the top country in the world tog with US or will it even overtake US to be the superpower in this earth? i cant imagine the kind of prospects that lie in China n i love China!

lan lao shi asked a question.. wad issit that can solve the problems in China? back from the 19th century, there were already many problems in China and all the different political figures who came up did not solve her problems. who n wad will? somehow in my heart i already have the answer. and somehow in my mind i already see the vision. yahoo!

excited!

i got all excited over a chess game n adrenaline is still pumping. amazing huh.. haah. i played chess for 2 hours n i m so excited now!

pay positive attention.

by phil pringle

The key to growing anything is to pay it positive attention.
'Pay' The price is time. Make time for the highest priorities-like your children, your spouse.

'Positive' Give attention to the positives. Don't be hijacked by the negatives which can so easily claim our attention.

'Attention' Give undistracted attention to the person. Turn off the TV, the cell phone, put down your pen, the book and look them in the eye. Listen, hear what they're saying. Connect.

我讨厌无理取闹！

在很迟钝的情况下，我有个惊人的发现，晓亭讨厌无理取闹。真得很讨厌。讨厌人家为了没有原因的原因发脾气，讨厌人家不好好把事情解释清楚，讨厌人家为了莫名的原因大作文章。

就一个早上，不知不觉听着cheryl的歌，我哭了。总觉得人走到一个阶段，需要滴下一些眼泪，让自己发泄一下，才懂得下一步要怎么做。现在晓亭正想这么做。。

有时我喜欢自己不停的忙着。。自己才不会想这么多。。

读了许怀良的访问。。莫名的感动。

看了“活着”，莫名的激动。。

上了蓝老师的课，莫名的共鸣。。

坐在这里。。 莫名的。。 莫名的。。 莫名的。。

my 200th entry

it is abnormal that i m blogging 2 times in a day. but i really enjoy writing, typing and what-have-u.

had a really good time reading my senior's blog. n i think this is an area in which helen n i r really alike, we love to discover and noe how pple think, esp those that r deemed as "intelluctual", in which we begin to be inspired by the things that they write. well, i was reading and was really enjoying myself until i came to a part, in which he started to say some stuff that disturbed me. and i stopped.

i feel like i m sitting in front of my com, knowing that i have tons of workload behind me, n i m supposed to do them, yet my mind is blank, but i m jus trying to conjure sth out. the truth hurts they always say. n i suspect i feel this way cos i had a revelation of the truth. not that i dunno wad to do. i think i do, but the truth still hurts.

ever wondered y u have frens? sometimes one of the things that i m most afraid of is human relationships. becos it is sth that is so unpredictable, it can bring u sky high, and cause u to fall valley low. sth i learn as a human being for yrs is --- pple do let u down. sad but real fact.

i used to think that i m strong, courageous but at times i beg to differ. and this is one of the times that i cant agree.

God strengthen my heart.

be careful bout the things u say, the attitude u have towards others. becos u can hurt them, before u noe it.

my mind is filled.. with so much "what-have-u"s. our world is so fallen.. humans r so carnal.

a lot of times i wished that whatever i m thinking up there, feeling in there, it will jus automatically transformed itself into words then appear here. gee. and probably i will not be so weighed down by them anymore.

ever hoped that life will slow down so that u can take a breather? i did. n i m still hoping. but it is not gonna happen i noe.

sorry guys i noe my entry sounds so big-time pessimistic and depressing.. and many would say.. ger this is so unlike u.

n it is! haah. but i will always conclude. no matter how tough things r in my life, how matter wad kind of discouragements or challenges i go thru, i noe He is here, walking with me.

walking walking walking.. n when i cant walk anymore. He carries me. and becos of that guys..

life is beautiful. *muackz*

i like adriano!

suddenly i feel so happy. although i really haven done much. muaahaha. i m a happy happy happy girl.. (:

a nice chat

it's been some time since i last blogged i think. and i always blog on saturdays i realise. saturdays r thinking days. acty thru'out the week there r many times i feel like blogging, but whenever i sit in front of the monitor, i will feel so tired that i dun really wan to try. and now.. i shall start blogging again.

i think i m realli a thinker. haah. as in i love to think. i do.. and i jus had a nice little chat with some nice pple and it evokes a lot of thought in me.

i love God. cos He is realli amazing and recently when i m jus thinking bout my life, i realise that i realli have grown a lot. and that was wad meiyan said will happen to me.. and i did. and i think being a cgl is really one of the best things that has happened in my life. i love it when God uses me to impact the lives of others.. that is one of the greatest joy i have being a cgl. to see my members growing, loving God more, being more committed, changed by the glory of God, seeing pple getting saved.. man.. i love my life.

jus reali wan to appreciate God for wad He is doing thru me. the great things. thank u Jesus

现实与理想

刚做完一个哲学的presentation,晓亭松了一口气，真的好开心，而且感觉很有满足感。但是，美中不足的是，现实与理想仍然是有差距的。

常觉得在我的生活里，在许多方面，总觉得理想与现实有个差距。想实现的，往往感觉目标太遥远，但是昨天在和朋友谈天时，又想到以前从瑞典的一个牧师说过，everything u see with ur physical eyes is subject to change. 有时感觉以前的我太消极，太沮丧。从今我要以另外一种角度去看待我的生活，相信-- 现实是可以符合理想的。

smith wigglesworth always say -- only believe.

i need You Holy Spirit.

more than ever before.

teach me how to live.

and how to lead.

to not do it on my own.

but by Your strength, power n might.

Teach me LORD.

Teach me.

从来都没有想过文字是我的专长，但是我却羡慕那些能挥洒自如的朋友。刚看了康熙来了。这电视节目是我很欣赏的一个， 我总觉得它没有其他的综艺节目来的肤浅，而我喜欢它带给我的启发。

今天上节目的是伊能静，而今天的节目也给了我很多感触。当我在听着康永念着她的书时，有一种默默的感动。她所使用的文字很美。文人常常会喜欢咬文嚼字，她并不是这样。那一段话捕捉的是一种淡淡的感觉，带有一些神秘色彩，但却让人感到真实，仿佛身临其境。

我好希望有一天我能这样的写出我人生的经历，虽然现在如我所希望，在中文系上课，但是因为生活有时会有些枯燥乏闷，我开始把读华文当作是理所当然，也开始不懂得如何去发掘它的美。理想与现实往往都有个距离，但是相信他的好处是，他能让理想成为现实。

人生是不是一系列的失败，爬起来，学习，成功，再失败，再爬起来，再成功？

人生是很美丽的。

十八岁的天空

我真得很喜欢看这部戏。非常非常喜欢。十八岁的天空。连名字都取得好好好好听。

看了这部戏有种甜滋滋的感觉。看着一个个十八岁的少年，如何走出叛逆的时期，如何为一个目标奋斗，如何学会达成梦想，让我好怀念穿制服的日子，也让我蠢蠢欲动，打起当老师的念头。

我喜欢古越涛！哈哈

我很喜欢这部戏里给人满足的感觉。人生是美好的，值得憧憬的，是给予人无限幻想的。而不管你是谁，都有做梦与去追求梦想的权利。我要过这样的生活。（（（（：

it is so xiaoting...

it is so xiaoting that frm time to time i will start to think n to dream. i cant deny the fact that we live in a fallen world! haah. i always like how sheryl blogged in her blog.. let's see if i will ever manage to write sth so well.

there was once a little ger.... who hated herself, hated the world ard her, and hated everything. she felt sad n most of the time she despised herself.

one day her prince charming came, swept her off her feet and assured that she is everything he is made for. he loved her with all of his heart, n of cos she did too. she loved him so much...

but she realli could not believe that this man loved her. to her, she is so ugly, so not worthy of his love. how can an ugly duckling like her be tog with a man so perfect?

and she decided to run away. from him n frm his love. she could not bear to live in his arms and she felt so inadequate.

thank God this prince charming did not give up on her but loved her to the end. he wooed her... to the ends of the earth. and he made a promise, i will nv nv nv nv let u go. even if u were to run to the ends of the earth, i will be there.

sometimes she feels lost, confused, as if all this is not real, but his appearance assured her that there is really hope on earth. she is not hopeless, she is not destinied for failure, becos of him, everything is going to be so okie. n no matter wad happened, she knew deep in her heart that this man will be there for her.

daddy, a big thank You to u. when hope is gone, You gave me hope. when love is depleted, u put in me the strength to love. teach me how to walk every single day becos u noe that i simply cannot cannot cannot live without You. i dunno how to carry on if You dun show me. i dunno how i can continue walking if u r not there for me.

remind me always that u will write a beautiful story out of my life with a beautiful ending. all is not lost darling.

caring system

was jus thinking bout it. think God has realli been speaking to me thru different means n pple about hearing the Word of God. the rhema Word. issit in bible studies or meetings n in reading the Bible, God has been emphasizing on this alot. about hearing the rhema Word. and isnt it true? that we really need to hear from God so that our lives r not one big boring routine that we keep on doing the same thing expecting different results but we noe that whatever we do is a divine Word from God.

i dun wan! jus to live my life in routine every day. i dun wan! jus to do it for the sake of doing it.

i wan to do wad God speaks to me about.

so let us not live our lives in some routine... doing for the sake of doing. let's step out n step into success, into wad God has called us to.

gambathe!

this is so fun!

hey guys try this! this is so cool i think.. haah.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=s_targazing

还好我不是新加坡人

我从来都并不认为我是一个爱国主义者。。大家也常说新加坡人并不那么爱国，就当台湾人开始辱骂新加坡人时，我们也并不那么在意。

但是，但我看到龙应台所写的文章的标题时，我不禁感到愤愤不平。读了那篇文章后，更是感到生气，总想说，你凭什么批评我们？我心里其实充满着愤怒，但是我并不想写出不理性的看法，但是我还是很生气！

而我又继续的读他谈到台湾的文化，虽然同样是在批评台湾的文化，在语气上却是那么的不一样。

suddenly i jus could not realli express myself in chinese. shall do it in english instead. i used to kind of despise this place that i live in, thinking that we dun realli have our own characteristics and stuff. but u noe wad? over the yrs i have learnt to appreciate this envt i live in. i used to think of singapore as a place of no achievements, but over the yrs i realise that i m wrong! i used to read the papers and see so many singaporeans being high-achievers overseas.. issit behind the scenes doing graphics, sound and things like that.. and also singaporeans making a name for themselves overseas.. i m so proud of them! and i m loving this place that i m living.. and i m also convinced that we do produce talents! we r not a country n a pple who listen to our government and let our government dictate our lives and decide what we shld do! instead! we are pple who have dreams.. and we live it. pple like royston tan, nickson fong, elim chew, and so many so many other pple that have done our country proud! and seriously, pls dun think that singaporeans r jus a bunch of losers who dun really care bout wad u say bout them. we have international achievements, issit as a country or as individuals.. and we deserve the respect becos we have earned it. and for goodness sake, although we r still pretty repressed as a country, our PAP is really much better than many governements in the world and although i dun agree with them on everything, i m glad that i m a singaporen!!!!!

还好我是个新加坡人！

sorry for this blasting over this really really outdated article. it has really been a long time. haha. but i jus expressing my views.

having a great time

these few days i realli felt like i had a great time. God was jus speaking to me bout many many things and it is jus so amazing. really excited in my spirit bout wad God is going to do this yr. (:

stepping into 2006

tdy will probably be one of the last days in which i really played hard. last few days i think i really set out to play. and i did it. but i really enjoyed my last day of my chinese new yr holiday.

i shld jus summarise the things i did these couple of days.

friday i went back to hc. went shoppping. caught the last episode of love concierge.

sat went tm to shop for a while n bought a lovely top. da sao chu (not realli la) and reunion dinner.

sunday went bai nian and at night caught i not stupid too midnight.

monday went out studying and came back studying (acty i din accomplish much) n watched geisha.

n i shld i think comment on geisha. but i m too tired. haha.

tdy went out n went 61 gathering.

and i m so happy i went. we had such a good time jus toking bout the good OLD times. it is really so funny. haah. i laughed so so so hard abt all the silly things that happened. i think i have to stop it if not i will continue to comment.. i miss hc. haah. but it is really amazing cos so much happened in 2 yrs. i really treasure those memories of hc.. times when u really have classmates n good frens n everybody jus bond with everybody. i think it is difficult to do that in uni.

and like wad biao said, we r really different. as in our class is really special. we r like no other. we r so nonsensical and lame, and what's more, our lameness is so out of the world! haah. other than the 61ders, nobody will get n understand our jokes. normal pple wun laugh. realli. haah. i really suggest that we write a song called 我们这一班。

u will realise that everyone of our classmates has sth special. their own 特征. n that is like so interesting cos each one of us is so unique n we r so different but yet we come tog as one. i love it! haha. i love it when we laugh at things that r not really so funny.. i love it when we r lame.. i love it when we come tog n jus tok nonsense.. haha. i love it when we r noisy.. and we r. and according to the guys, the 4 of us r super noisy and always distract them during tutorials!!!! haha. i din realise that until tdy i think. wad a revelation. haha.

and 61 is jus such an interesting class with such interesting characters in it.. wei biao.. wun u write a book abt us and publish it pls?? call it.. 我们这一班。haha. pls pls.. let this inspire u! haha.

i had so much so much fun. thanks guys for such a wonderful time. love all of u. and i love 61 too! haha.