希望

希望时间会停在这刻
秒针会停止跳动

让我看完我想看的书
让我约我想约的朋友
让我做完我想做的事

为什么别人一天有48小时
我只有24呢？

希望一切能在24小时做完
然后
星期二就会到来

兴奋！

凌晨两点，我在和彪谈话。虽然已经需要去睡觉了，却因为他提到的非常非常多书籍而感到兴奋！

刚才读了洛夫的诗。好美!

烟之外

在涛声中唤你的名字而你的名字
已在千帆之外
潮来潮去
左边的鞋印才下午
右边的鞋印已黄昏了
六月原是一本很感伤的书
结局如此之凄美
——落日西沉

你依然凝视
那人眼中展示的一片纯白
他跪向你向昨日那朵美了整个下午的云
海哟，为何在众灯之中
独点亮那一盏茫然
还能抓住什么呢？
你那曾被称为云的眸子
现有人叫作
烟

台湾！！

终于在等了两年后，我可以再一次回台湾。

今天我在和vicki说，我真的很想很想去台湾！神是信实的！有时候，有些东西总是会让你在灵里兴奋起来。现在就开始了。

好开心，再过两个星期，就要开学了。这次的开学充满期待，我要作盐作光！

而能够再回校之前去台湾，真令我开心不过。

当这世界。。

当这世界不在的时候，你否会与我守候？

我可能会把这整个部落格变成华文，那个让我感到既亲近又疏远的语言。

很久没有写散文，没有用漂亮的文字，来形容我那有时糟糕的心情。

失落

沮丧

讨厌刚强

尽在不言中

我没有你想象中的好，坚强

有时候 我真希望

不只我一个在战场上

让我拥有那一分钟的软弱吧

因为你是我软弱中的刚强

happiness is love..

Day 4

st Augustine said:
He who is filled with love is filled with God Himself.

Love stretches ur heart and makes u big on the inside.

suddenly i feel that i may miss hall after all. i love the peace and the envt here. although most of the time i m alone, esp during sot, but the tranquility is amazing.

i love it when it's into the wee hours, and i have my radio playing. it feels good.

my hse is a bit too constipated.

prayer answered.

God is good. so good.

i was praying that God will speak. n He spoke. the same thing He spoke to me.

God take it a bit deeper i pray. a deeper work i pray. a greater ability to discern the things of the spirit i pray.

i am happy and content because i think i m

i can't remember who i was toking to about being happy. i was reading a r bernard's book abt happiness. i promised u i will do it every day! well i m trying. (:

anyway, tdy he said that happiness is a way of mind.

so, despite of what happened just now, i will choose to be happy.

Happiness requires to train yourself to see the good in everything, no matter what happens.

God i will decide to do that.

ken rem wad i told u tdy? i said i dun like to be angry. becos if i m angry i cant be happy. n if i can, i want to be always happy. n not make life difficult for myself. (:

carrying a lot of things in my heart, but not sharing. tok abt happier stuff.

tdy went out with helen. babe i love u! it's just wonderful everytime i go out with u. i jus feel comfortable with u, toking to u. gee. n i cant believe u r leaving so soon when i really din get to hang out much with u... will spend more time with u.

bought my makeup and stuff.. so happy. haha. n bought a vest tat's really nice at forever 21! which i think it really suits me anyway.

service was good tdy.

sch starting in 1 month plus time. so fast.

i jus did my hair. when i get a chance will post up a nice pic of it. dun get a shock alright? haha.

are you willing to celebrate your life today?

if you had to be the person you are today for the rest of your life, will you be happy? if not, it's time to change now.

i will not. n i will change now. dun look back n say yest i was happy. dun look forward and say some day i will be happy. look at your present and choose to celebrate. today be all that God wants u to be. (:

so far i have really done it. one day at a time.

tdy i experienced the goodness of God. he is so good.

and everything will work to your time and season. love u.

happiness is..

i was just thinking that i want to pick up a book and read. n saw dr a.r. bernard's book on the shelf. so i decided to do what he said, to read one entry every day and to pen down my thoughts, just that i m blogging here.

he said.

happiness is finding wisdom and understanding.

my thoughts.

the happiest life u can live is probably the life that God has intended for u to live. but for u to do that, u must be able to look at things from God's perspective. to be a wise person, u need to dig into His word. Billy Graham said, knowledge is horizontal but wisdom is vertical. It comes from above. Every day, we need a renewed mind so that we can live the life God intended for us.

if u wan to be a happier person, be a wiser person. (:

God's words for today.
Salt creates thirst.

一片宁静

好享受这样的一个时刻。今天是星期天下午。现在在宿舍里。宿舍什么人也没有，学校是一片安静的。我好享受这样的一个时刻。。。坐在这里，听着933，没有dj，只有歌曲，让我的心情自由的漂浮。。

有时候真的觉得生活很充实，却又忙得怕人，所以这样一个人的时刻是让我感到很开心的。。
虽然我还有很多的deadlines，but i appreciate this moment of peace.

was just looking thru ken's friendster. and just feeling a little nostalgic. xiaoting is feeling alone, but not lonely, and i love this moment of solitude. really.

i wish i can have more of this. no phone calls, no msges waiting for me, just enjoying my sunday afternoon.

i love it.

gain

i love sun's latest album embrace.. yet in my heart there is still a special place for gain. i just love the album to bits. i like the feel of it.

so i sought for a man among them, who would make a wall, and stand in the gap, but i found no one.

God is looking.

for a new generation that will love Him with EVERYTHING they have, and love people fervently. who will lay down their lives for Him and impact their campuses.

God. raise up a new generation.

youths who are willing
kingdom-minded
love You wholeheartedly
love people fervently
holy dissatisfaction
hungry for You
yearn to be fruitful.

raise up youths that are different

that's my cry.

will you answer the call?

hello

haha. it's been a while i blogged. i thot it has been a really long time, only to realise it's only 2 weeks. but 2 weeks it's enough. after you've been through emerge, it's as if like one year has passed or sth, because so many things have happened and your life is so transformed!!!

this year's emerge, as usual, has been tremendous. it is as tremendous as usual, yet it is not as usual, because this year it is bigger, greater and better! God has been really good, so just some updates for u.

well first of all, this yr my dream came to pass and i made it to the finals of word power. it's an ordeal, ask all my frens the turmoil i went thru.. haha. nah just kidding. but we really almost din make it.. so.. thank you Jesus! we got second.. ((: so all thanks to jeremy and annie. i love u guys lots. u guys are great team members. annie i m so proud of you that you noe that verse.. and yes jeremy, u really have worked hard and earned ur keep. haaha. you make me look good being ur team member. (:

secondly, sun was back. celebrated her birthday. heard liu geng hong sing. (((: and propose at the same time.

thirdly, i met a bunch of pple that rox. the ntu pple!!!! yah and *** will say he is so surprised to see this. *** was surprised to see me at bbq.. haaah. so that is me la.. the girl who is totally not in tune with ntu.. nah just kidding. knowing them was a pleasant surprise God brought into my life. they are really funny pple tat light up my life. you guys rox..!

last but not least, God came, moved, touched and did a new work.

God, just wan to say thank you for moving once again. words cannot describe how i feel. thank you for loving me, forgiving me and always giving me a second chance. thank you for the call. thank you for being willing to use me.

i want to treasure this forever. this call you have given. this family you have placed in. these friends that are so precious.

i love my life, my cg, my church, my frens, my family, MY GOD.

spirit-filled

i m at fang's house now, supposed to do my assignment. but i dunno y there is no urgency, so it's just bad. gee. it's ok, i promise i will finish though it's already 11pm and i m only at chap 4. xiaoting jia you. haha.

anyway. i m so excited that emerge is coming. yes i m finally in word power finals! mus come n cheer for me k.. haha.

yup that's all pple. off to mug.

想家

从小就对“寄人篱下”这样的感觉不陌生，所以我一直认为自己是以很可以适应的人，又或许是我老了！。。所以我真的不喜欢陌生的环境，我真得很喜欢家的感觉。

现在家里的房间一团糟，可以我很讨厌两头不到岸的感觉。就是讨厌。。宿舍感觉很陌生，因为少了人的气息。。 但是家里又感觉少了我。

发现我真的需要常常与人相处。因为在宿舍，特别是假期里，是完全没有人的。寂寞的感觉常常会涌到心头来，（this sounds like a wrong expression. haha）虽然这样的时候不是很多，因为我其实没有什么时间去想这些事情。但是，我真的想念家的感觉。

以前我总觉得，家和宿舍的分别在哪里？反正我每天都是早出晚归。。 在哪里都没有分别。是有的是有的。。 想念家里有人的感觉。特别想念老爸。。想念有人会帮我关灯，然后骂我。。我真得很想念。

因为这样我想。。 或许下个学期我要回到我名副其实的狗窝去了。

但是又贪图那每天来回的3个小时。。

进退两难！

blessed

i really feel blessed beyond words.

last wk pst derek talked about being at the right place at the right time.

then he asked, how many of you know that u r at the right place at the right time?

and we were like agreeing. then he said, how many of u know.. that there r also people who r supposed to be here but they r not?

and i felt a tinge of sadness.

God has been so good to us this few weeks. wonderfully blessed by service every single weekend. and it's not just the weekends. during sot every day, we meet with God in worship. We learn to be led by the Spirit, and everything is just so cool. God keeps speaking to me every single day.

tdy pst preached a powerful powerful msg. blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God,

i want to see you remarkably clear. i want to experience you.
i want to be totally devoted to you.

one life
i lay at your altar
one love
i have with you
touch me again
fill me as you hold
my outstretched hands

one word
you know i will follow
one heart
broken to you
use me again
your mercies follow me
for all my days

i want to be more in love with u than i've ever been before.

i mean that

acquired taste.

loving God n lingering in His presence is an acquired taste.

i haven't updated for one week, but it felt like eternity. it seems like everything u have not heard from God was just revealed to you in this one week.

God is good.

i need brokenness.

God is moving.

sometimes i m scared. becos i dunno if i really can. can i?

sot again

officially attended 2 days of sot. it feels like it is so much more than 2 days. fri, sat, sun, mon. every day having new encounters, new revelations, it's so much more than what i can wish for. God is so good. He is answering our prayers!

i want to.. raise up a new generation of young people, who loves God, will not compromise, and build their lives on the sermon of the mount. In pst's words, no more convenient christianity. yes!

God is really doing a new work in City Harvest, and i want to be part of it! i want to be the end-time church He raises up, where we will see dreams and visions.

Sermon on the mount was really really good! I am so happy that Pastor is doing this. A new revival Lord..

Ask of me, and I will give You the nations as Your inheritance..

The sacrifices of the Lord are a broken and contrite heart..

purify our motives.. purify our hearts. raise up pple, that has a different spirit God..

sot

happy that exams r over today, totally excited that i am starting SOT tml! after hearing so much from everybody, i am just excited. But i want to start SOT right. (:

Today had a really nice talk with my. There is one thing that has not changed since i am young, i love talking to her. She is someone of great wisdom and can always provide me with great insights on things. It always triggers certain things while talking to her.

One thing i learn as a disciple is to press into my leader. As i grow older in God, this thing jus keeps coming up to me. It is important ting, to press into your leader. To draw from the man/woman of God. I remembered there was once God prompted me to go up to her, and ask her to pray for me, because I want to have what she has. I was freaked out, but I decided to obey God. In the past I used to be super scared of her, but i have learnt that that is silly. To be discipled is a good thing, becos u learn. We all must learn in the process to have a right attitude, not one of fear, but of respect and servanthood.

I thank God for her, for all that she has imparted to me, and I thank God for the many greater years to come!

The greatest leader of all is the greatest servant of all. God taught me that tdy.

I m really excited. But now it's 3 plus am! i better sleep soon. (:

i feel like i died, went up to heaven and lived again.