God kept on bringing this up the last few weeks.

It has been ringing in me.

And today, sth broke on the inside.

Can i really do it?

MY said sth the other day, and the tears just flowed.

she spoke into sth inside.

and today I asked,

is it all too late? can i still do it?

then He said,

I will restore back to you the years the locusts have eaten away.

and there i was, thankful .

after yest.



i wish that i was bolder, and less fearful.



i wish that i was more confident, and less insecure.



i wish that i would dream bigger dreams, and be less limited.



i wish, n i wish.



recently, my dad has always been waiting for me to come back.



that is so sweet.

to all my faithful readers, my com is down.

haha.

after i returned my friend's laptop to her, now my pc is down too.

haix.

praying that God will deliver a miracle. maybe when i m home, there will be a new com? haha.

i will pray for that.

for now, suffering from withdrawal symptoms. lol.

dun miss me yeah? ciao.

blogging. acty lots of thoughts r running thru my mind nowadays, but there r too many to blog.

till another time.

i haven blogged for 15days. wad an achievement. haha.

it has been a wonderful wkend. meeting minorE ppl, i almost forgot how it felt like to be part of inferno. and i miss the ah-huatness in everybody, as usual, esp ah huat. lol. he's incredibly funny la. amazingly i sat thru the whole day, just a lil tired at the end.

a lot of things r happening. it's the "happening" season. but my heart has never felt this peaceful.

had a wonderful time of fellowship with pst, vic, von, meiyan and the ldrs. it was amazing. i love the fellowship, and i went home, with a big smile on my face.

and i wonder, God wad have i done, that u place such amazing ppl and leaders in my life.

truly, i was so happy. i love my leaders. really.

finally told meiyan sth that is in my heart.

it has been running thru my mind. a little too much. haha. so i m glad i said it.

and i really appreciate the smile. it feels good to have support.

but for now, it's time to focus.

i did nth for one whole day. goodness gracious.

it's really really time, to discipline myself, and do GREAT things, for thy kingdom.

love you!!!!!! like never before.

ok. i have had that little bit of time. so i decided to just do a proper post for everybody.

seriously, it feels TOTALLY weird not to be in church on a sunday morning. i cannot remember for how long i have been attending service EVERY SUNDAY. and suddenly, to be able to slp in on sunday morning feels totally funny. haha.

anyway, ok this is the birthday post i owe everybody. (:

so here's the story.

my members have tried really hard to think of a bday surprise for me, because this yr we r just so into surprises. hahahaha. it just gets from glory to glory.

so..

they thot of this cinderella story, and turned me into the cinderella for the day(s). haha. on sat night(26 Jul), i received this sms from an unknown no.. sth like do u want to noe how the cinderella's story unfold (in chinese), stay tuned to find out! something like that la. haha. n i thot the no looks awfully familiar, so it turns out to be ting's sis' no.

then 845 am on sun morning, my 3 stepsisters (and a step brother, ie. the AHS girls plus 1 AHS guy) turned up at my main gate with breakfast. (awww so sweet, but alas i dun drink soya milk. ya they bought that) they pretended to be my stepsisters, ordering me to do chores and all before heading down to church. haha. and i was in a maddd rush running to church!!!

and after the service, they celebrated my bday, gave me my presents (which i really like- a pair of glam-looking wedges and bag from river island, and a eye-shadow base from mac) and told me i must wear them for my "ball" on monday. that was the first time i rem my cg praying for me, and that was cool. (:

and i spent the afternoon in my aunty's house, celebrating with my cousins and all. and it's amazing how much blessing i received. thank You Jesus.

and after dinner with my dad and sister, i met wj n mx n did some awfully lame stuff. cos i cannot even rem what i did. haha.

ok let's fast forward to my birthday k? haha.

i was supposed to meet wj n mx in town to sing k. and the irritating guys din want to sing k box and wanted party world, only becos it's 4 dollars cheaper, which i felt was dumb la. haha. so i unwillingly went with them to party world, and it's so funny, cos they were like passing msges to one another n all, (it's hard to ignore) and it was totally obvious sth is going to happen. HAHAHA. how to not see when there's only 3 ppl in the room and 2 idiotic guys r like passing the hp ard? and running every other moment out of the room to make calls? hahahaha.

so after singing for 2.5 hours, n wj insisted on finishing forever love, which i will post up soon, wj picked up a tiara, a pair of sunglasses and note from outside the note. i was supposed to put them on, and the sunglasses is opaque, so i could not see at all. (ok except for one small slit)

to cut the long story short, they brought me up the bus, to suntec, walked me thru the malls and brought me to a salon for my makeover. so i was supposed to keep my eyes closed until my hair cut was done, which i did, and wad u see now is the final result. 劲爆. to the max la.

then they made me close my eyes, brought me out of the salon, and we had a go at "the bachelorette" to choose my prince charming la. so it ended up with jj and they accompanied me to my dinner at ps. haha.

u can tell i'm really lz after a while, cos it's an awfully long post! so here's for the impt stuff. anyway i'll post up pics soon yeah?

to my cg, i have said it many times i guess, but YOU ARE APPRECIATED!!!! haha. it's a beautiful surprise, and ppl asked me, how could u allow ur members to do that to u??? but well i told i'm in good hands, and when i told my fren, he said that ur members really love u!!! which i agree, so guys, THANK YOU!!! i feel weird telling u guys such stuff face to face la, but i really love u all. E357 really rocks! and I LOVE U ALL!

to my CGCs, u have done an awfully great job and thank you for running with me for the vision all these while!

seriously E357, u r the most fantastic members any leader could ask for. :)

and to wj n mx, thanks guys for all the efforts. really appreciate ur company and all. u guys have been great frens to xt!

and to MY subzone, THANKS for being my fellow c0-workers.

and to my bestest frens, good frens and all, (u all know who u r)
thanx for always being there for me thru thick and thin. i appreciate the fact that all of u r a phone call away, and u nv fail to be there for me when i need u. thanks for the company always and always, for investing time into my life, for believing in me, for all the encouragement and the edification, for running this race with me, for inspiring me always, to do greater things for God.

did i tell u?

i m truly humbled by His mercy and grace. and i m eternally grateful that He placed all of u in my life.

i'm entering into the 23rd year, a new phase of my life. it's gonna be great.

with lots of love,
ting (:

i admit, i m not feeling too good.

if i m so unaffected, then it's so inhuman.

it hurts me becos it hurts my loved ones.

i saw my dad, n i know it hurts.

God, it does hurt. take care of it won't u?

when i recalled how we sat there, i thought to myself.

i cannot never imagine it possible.

then i thought

if it really happens,

it can only be God.

suddenly, i was reminded of the pain 12 years back. it's an awfully long time.

i m so supposed to update on my very exciting 22nd birthday. but i m just a little too tired.

it has been awesome though.

my biggest thank you goes out to all who made my day. you guys rock, really.

to my cg, i m amazed by you guys. thanks for your love! i will specially put up a post in dedication to you guys k? haha. i love the cinderella story. n i enjoy being a princess. haha.

to my dearest frens in MY subzone: guys, my warmest thanks goes out to you, for always being there for me, for being my frens, and my fellow co-workers. indeed it's a great priveilege to serve God together with you.

to the many many who wished me happy birthday, over msn, phone, sms etc etc, i m touched! :) and i have not finished replying them yet. haha.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and last but not least, i thank YOU for being in my life, for bringing these great frens into my midst, for putting me in a great physical and spiritual family, for never failing me, for being the very reason of my existence. for without You, all these would not have been possible.

love You Lord.

promise i will put up a proper post soon. ciao for now!!!

近期来，因为需要休息，星期六下午总会在家。或许，人老了，总会珍惜在家里的时光。哈哈。

因为星期六下午在家，所以爱上了《白色巨塔》。

爱上这部剧的原因有很多，当然其中之一是因为言承旭。喜欢他的率直和热忱，总觉得他是一个不一样的艺人。

很久没有看到这么有深度的电视剧了。

最近的电视剧，多数以偶像剧为主。i'm not complaining, 因为我自己也常追看。但是，这样的一部写实剧，真的很难得。像蔡导说的，他希望《白》不仅仅是电视商品，而我认为，他做到了。

这部剧很精彩，跳叙的手法，人物的多层面，让剧情更贴近生活。

故事中的许多瑕疵和不完美，让人更能感觉它贴近人生。

真的是 一部很精彩的作品。

我好想买下dvd来珍藏。(:

我真的很喜欢言承旭。

when is the right time to step out.

wad is the critical balance.

this has been the question for so long.

i m struggling.

i gave up many opportunities cos i was afraid that i made the wrong choice.

i am thinking.

when is the right time to go out.

he said, so u r going to get out of your well.

my well.

these things have been tugging at my heart.

show me how to live
teach me in your ways
that i may walk with u all my days.

currently in ntu-nus camp. i m supposed to be home sleeping! but in the end i ended up staying here la. it's so weird that i end up slping in nus tonight. haha.

anyway i just wanted to say, heard a word that was being shared today that was really good. it was a very short word, but it did hit me pretty much.

yet once more.

and i felt God speaking into my heart.

yet once more.

and i was so reminded of wad God has been speaking to us over this whole season.

you know, there are many decisions i need to make, many things i need to think abt, many things i need to settle. gee.

the sleep debt i incurred last wk cos of en104 has not been repaid yet, so i m still feeling fatigue.

but camp has been fun so far la. :)

i hope i get some time to sleep, pray, rest and think about wad i want to do for the rest of the yr.

and sth very interesting happened tdy.

it might have excited me last time, but not now.

and now, off to fright night. hur.

xiaoting. u have to stop running helter skelter doing 101 things at one time.

xiaoting u r only one person. and u only have 24 hours.

can u focus focus and focus? focus on what is impt girl.

jia you.

每一次想到这事情，心里总有一丝丝的难过。

想到。。你第一个想到的人不是我。。

想到。。我们不再是最好的朋友。。

我真的。。 常常。。 感到那一点的遗憾。

和心痛。

the en104 hangover hit me today.

lol.

i was feeling pretty alive when i went for pm last night, and even after coming back, i din feel exhausted and all. but this morning when i woke up, the fatigue really hit me.

and the funny thing is, i was so tired, that on the way back in the bus, i was dozing off. this is unusual, because i was with my member! but i was so tired that i could not keep my eyes open. following which i needed to go out with my dad, and i literally slept from the beginning till the end. usually i will take that time to tok to daddy, but i was really too tired. and now, i m still feeling it. :)

wanted to update more and tok more on stuff, but perhaps after i have really recuperated. the fatigue is getting to me, and i can already see the 101 things i need to do this coming wk. and before anything, it's the ntu-nus camp. haha. lol i will back in sch again.

watching dark knight tml yeah. (:

so the game is officially over. hurhurhur. it was actually a very exciting game, and i realised, my threshold for no sleep has gone up one notch higher. it's crazy how i can analyse numbers when i have not slept for like 24-48 hours. wahahaha.

in the past one wk, we were playing this game called marketplace. J told me that it is a very very fun game, which i totally agree, and my group really went through the highs and the lows. and after a week of little sleep, the game is finally over, with us ending in 23 million debt, and i wonder what is gg to happen at the end of the day.

but this experience was cool, and from the bottom of my heart, i love inferno!!!! hahaha. we r a bunch of crazy idiots, who just totally whacked it after we hit riddo. wahahahahaha. and there were like so many crazy moments, and though we end up heavily in debt, we had tons tons of fun. INFERNO U ROCK. haha. i will post up pics n videos k? on uncle ben's game theory, ah huat's ah huat-ed moment, and i think our whole team just ah-huated. wahahhaa.

this is the end of en101-en104, and i wonder wad will happen to us after en104. But i had a total lot of fun through this, especially en104! and i think, one more time, my team rocks like mad. wahahaha. i love u guys! hurhurhur.

k la more updates after tday. i m feeling very alive, and looking forward to a week of rest before starting to pia again. and today i realised, freak i have not started on my FYP! haha.

k guys i will see u all. my beloved helen is back. date me!

in a nutshell, this is what i am studying for, for tml's exam. but to tell the truth, i still dun understand assets, liabilities and owner's equity. urgh. and why is a partnership good? i see no advantage whatsoever. in case u r wondering wad exam i m having tml, it's ACCOUNTING. the big A word.

u noe over the past few weeks, the comment that i get is i look tired. everybody just says i look tired! and G was so kua zhang to say i looked pale n tired!!!!!! goodness. and someone told me, it's that lack of energy in me. then i know what she is toking abt. it's that lack of energy.

thank God i am getting it back this wk, haha. to be able to be toking to chan eng on the train all the way.. is so xiaoting. hurhur. but i m so excited abt what i shared, and i loved the possibilities that was posed to me simply through toking to ppl. i m so glad...

this exam really doesn't feel like an exam. maybe for the fact that the percentage is not THAT high, but it is still high la. 30% leh. come on xiaoting focus. :P

finally i got a good look at who xiao jing teng is from bai fen bai yest. honestly, hmm, he doesn't look that fantastic next to xiao zhu. wahahahaha. but he is still quite cool la. esp his billard skills. how he thrashed xiao zhu WOWed me. hurhur.

back to mugging.

i sound like a bimbo. but i miss shopping. i realise chi bi is a really really nice show. catch it with me anyone?

i miss..

hanging out with my frens.

the 61 gang.

slacking and doing nothing.

having a life.

shopping.

i miss.. my cg and their nonsensical what-nots!

1.5 weeks more to go. to be exact. it's 10 days.

this is the question that has come up time and time again.

is worth it right? ha.

there's such a change in mindset and stuff.

indeed once u r stretched u will never go back to the same again.

yest i was in a pm. what touched me was the passion that i heard n felt in my soul. that passion that breaks u. that testimony that blows your mind.

seriously, i m very excited to noe what is in store. haha. in all aspects.

i cant help, but still be in a blown-away state right now. i m still blown away, period.

He shows up in ways i have never imagined. God always surprises me, really.

thank you for being so real to each and every one of us, for being here. your very presence touched my heart in a big way. i m humbled, bowed over. thank you for touching hearts and changing lives. i can't help, but be in awe.

a lot of things r running thru my mind. all the different experiences this past month, what has happened, what not, what i have learned. i felt like i m in a whole new dimension. God has been really good, and i have been relying on His grace. :)

from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

i led one of the best worships i ever led tdy. he came n touched everyone, just like that. God moves in amazing ways isn't it?

i surrender all.

i feel like this on the inside.

i cannot help but feel like going on and on about my rantings for the day, excited by the fact that i have no sch for one wk.

this one month felt like eternity.

thus, while i'm listening to presentations, i m dreaming away in lala land, thinking abt wad i do tdy, tml, day after tml, thinking about the many million ppl i will meet, 100 million things i will do, and frankly, the exam in 7 days' time is way low on my ttd list. WAHAHA.

was just reading a friend's blog, and rem about last night. seriously, to step into jw, to clap n sing like that, was woww. i felt a little drained, but i m happy with what God has done.

to think abt what is in store, the kind of changes i will be moving into, excite me.

i have been placed into strategic places, meet certain ppl, which me n j agree, is DIVINE.

i wonder what is in store. i m starting to really think, what i want to do one yr from now.

it was a fruitful talk, amidst our crappy tiredness.

a lot of things went thru my mind, things that i did not have time to think about, thoughts that suddenly crossed my mind.

just past the halfway mark, i was just looking back.

it is indeed an experience. and like what i told him, it really expanded my horizons. it touched my heart that someone knew exactly what i was toking about. but i just felt a little torn. and a little tug in the heart.

but now when i think abt it, there must be a way right? when GPDI's doctors and businessmen were mentioned. they r really the new breed.

wad to do.. where to go.. the involvement?

i wonder..

but i felt like this is another level.

he asked, r u ready to take up the cultural mandate?

it's a whole new chapter.

i'm loving it. :)

taking my first step.. a little scared.. a little apprehensive.. but excited n expectant.

show me.