有些事，尽在不言中。

言语的交谈，固然重要。

但有时候，你听不到的，更加重要。

i was so encouraged. an old fren of mine came for make up cell tdy, and she said..

"... ur cg really has potential...." and some other stuff. haha.

it's so great hearing from someone outside the cg, affirming me what i have been doing in the ministry. sometimes we're in the midst of all these, and we fail to see what God really has in store.

And like what she said, GREAT things r in store!

i feel so excited, becos i felt it was a great cell meeting, at least i noe the presence of God was there tangibly. God spoke, moved and it was a great time in the Holy Ghost!

it was so funny. i shared w my members what God spoke to me last night. becos i could not get to sleep. here's a not very good poem i came up w last night after praying. haha.

she spoke to me
and i was scared
and did not know
how to react

i was stressed
and more afraid
of that which truly lies ahead

i tried to sleep
but failed in it
thus woke up
and spoke to Him

i said lord
i feel alone
in this fight that requires me to stop the moans

i prayed and asked
who would be there
in this ardous journey
that has no end

i lost frens
and fellow men
who gave up halfway
before the end

i prayed and asked
Him for strength
that He would one day lead me there

He smiled and cheered
proud of me
that i would one day
have the dare
to reach that end

and i thought of you
and made a wish
that you would move on once again

and i believe
you have in you
what it takes
to touch the world for Him
that once again

for so many hrs i have been whining.. so it's time to stop whining! lol.

xiaoting stop wallowing pls can u. :P

yes yes i will. stop whining, get the work done, get the things out, and meet my deadlines.

i did study tdy! and get a better glimpse of wad i am doing. and got things started.

tml WILL be a better day.

so to all my faithful readers and frens,

love u guys! u guys r awesomeeee.

haha. and yes of cos i love my abba father.

for tolerating w my nonsense these 2 days. haha.

was just randomly googling and saw this nice nice pic of greenland.

i realised that i love nature. lol.

this is the after effects of trying to read ALOT ALOT abt media and democracy. lol.

xiaoting jia you!

good frens r hard to come by. :P

just heard sth abt a fren of mine, and the feeling that i dunno wad i can do.. does not feel good.

i wish sometimes i can say sth so that u can feel better.

and i feel that i wish there is sth i can do.

but many times, i can't.

jia you my fren.

though i noe u wun read this, i wish that u will feel it.

my support for u.

no matter what happens, i still respect and admire u alot.

world shaker and history maker ya?

his calling is irrevocable.

i'm not doing it justice if i dun blog in chinese.

so i'm not blogging abt the trip now, at least not today.

it was refreshing i think.

i love the air and the nature, far from the busyness of the city.

sometimes our lives r just so flooded with things.

and we need some peace and stillness in the air.

and my heart feels, more peaceful than ever before.

no more running wild,
i'm Yours for life
Well You got me here
You got me

I hear Your call tonight
Your heart is mine
Well You got me here
You got me

now i know, y 2 weeks ago, when i was singing this song, my heart was beating. God was preparing me for this time.

wad a life i'm living for You.

blessed.

i just sent an email to my fren, and a wave of nostalgia swept over me.

i miss 61 and hwa chong like crazy.

miss chow and miss lep, miss my gang of crazy lep-ers and 61ders.

my wish is, i can make it for the next 61 outing. lol.

it's amazing how there is this calmness that comes over me, and how i have grown in this area.

i know probably i will get increasingly frustrated, and really, things would not just work out this way, but the peace that God has given me, and the word, touches me in a big way, and i really do treasure it.

treasure how i will not be vexed. treasure the faith in God. lol. fang will noe exactly wad i m toking abt.

n becos of the peace and the faith, it saves me a lot of time from thinking abt it, and helps me to focus in a big way. oh man. thank you Jesus.

leaving for northeast asia in 3 days' time. gosh lord that is very surreal.

and i have a feeling, this trip will change my life. completely.

sth that i dreamt abt for so long, is really going to come to pass.

and i think, i would come back, having a better grasp of my future.

u think so? (:

keep me in prayers. thanks.

No more running wild
I'm yours for life
Well You got me here
You got me

I hear Your call tonight
Your heart is mine
Well You got me here
You got me

The second time we sang it for service, i think.
But i fell in love with the song.

Missed Pastor Kong so much, and I was so glad that he was back to preach again.
What a powerful word in season.

What we heard, what was spoken these few days was really thought-provoking.

and yes, how many will really heed the call, to move on, and not stay where we r?

i felt a lot when i was singing this song on Sun. Having been through those things, when i sang it, tears filled my eyes. i was really telling the Lord, no more running wild, i'm Yours for life.

for many years, i heeded the call, run for the vision, yet holding on to those many things in my heart. Lord can i do this? Lord can i do that?

and yet after all these things, i come back realising, His way is always the best way. and suddenly, i just feel so satisfied doing what He wants me to do.

if i was asked to give up all these for the Lord, i would gladly do it. it's a promise Lord. from me to You.

was reading a few friends' blog.

was walking out of my tuition kid's condo, on a sat evening, seeing all the kids swimming and the families bbq-ing.

and then i started to feel, i think i need to do sth for my soul.

you know recently, with juggling so many things, it seems like i m not seeing where i m going.

i was telling my fren, it doesn't make sense for me to drop everything in sing and go northeast asia, when i m up to my head with things.

and i was still feeling overwhelmed by so many things.

then that day when i was on my way to settling my visa, the Holy Spirit spoke to me, reminded me.

ting, isn't that wad u always wanted to do? northeast asia?

hasn't it been in ur heart?

and then i started to realise the big-ness of it all.

i m seeing destiny unfold right in front of me. and yet i almost missed it.

suddenly, it was like.. magic.

i m really going. in 8 days' time.

that dream 4 years ago, that i tremble at, cry at, is coming to pass.

sometimes i m living so much in wad i m doing, that i fail to see the significance of it all.

guys, remind me.

i love you!

it has not been such an easy week. i m starting to feel the heat.

was toking to ting yest, then ended up with this conclusion that this is gonna be my life.

i m a lil stretched, and ting mentioned that i have been stretched before.

but i felt that i m now living in a different season. it's not a season of stretching, it's stretching permanently.

though doing a lot of things at the same time, i really dun wan to be overwhelmed. i dun wan to drown, i want to be swimming at ease.

and i noe, in order to do that, i need Him.

but i m living in exciting times! things are happening, and i feel it.

there's so much in store for us.

a fren reminded me, for such a time as this, we are made.

wad an apt description.

and just like how David served his generation by the will of God, i want to do that as well.

BIGGER dreams, GREATER works.

how ironical, to realise, after so long, i really dun know u.

perhaps sometimes the closer u r , the higher the expectations would be of the other party.

that's y sometimes, i'm just afraid of getting too close.

i am afraid i would put all my expectations on u, and end up with lots of frustrations, just like umpteen years ago, or actually, it wasn't that long.

sometimes, i realise, the fault is not w a person, but differences between men. which God has placed in all of us.

so xiaoting, stop that nonsensical thinking of urs.

yes pls.

you know, recently i have been facing this.

101 thots running thru my mind, and none, or close to none, i can,or know how to pen down.

currently using jt's laptop. (thanks jt!)

everything's great, except that i cant type chinese!!!

can u imagine that?

lol//

God kept on bringing this up the last few weeks.

It has been ringing in me.

And today, sth broke on the inside.

Can i really do it?

MY said sth the other day, and the tears just flowed.

she spoke into sth inside.

and today I asked,

is it all too late? can i still do it?

then He said,

I will restore back to you the years the locusts have eaten away.

and there i was, thankful .

after yest.



i wish that i was bolder, and less fearful.



i wish that i was more confident, and less insecure.



i wish that i would dream bigger dreams, and be less limited.



i wish, n i wish.



recently, my dad has always been waiting for me to come back.



that is so sweet.

to all my faithful readers, my com is down.

haha.

after i returned my friend's laptop to her, now my pc is down too.

haix.

praying that God will deliver a miracle. maybe when i m home, there will be a new com? haha.

i will pray for that.

for now, suffering from withdrawal symptoms. lol.

dun miss me yeah? ciao.

blogging. acty lots of thoughts r running thru my mind nowadays, but there r too many to blog.

till another time.

i haven blogged for 15days. wad an achievement. haha.

it has been a wonderful wkend. meeting minorE ppl, i almost forgot how it felt like to be part of inferno. and i miss the ah-huatness in everybody, as usual, esp ah huat. lol. he's incredibly funny la. amazingly i sat thru the whole day, just a lil tired at the end.

a lot of things r happening. it's the "happening" season. but my heart has never felt this peaceful.

had a wonderful time of fellowship with pst, vic, von, meiyan and the ldrs. it was amazing. i love the fellowship, and i went home, with a big smile on my face.

and i wonder, God wad have i done, that u place such amazing ppl and leaders in my life.

truly, i was so happy. i love my leaders. really.

finally told meiyan sth that is in my heart.

it has been running thru my mind. a little too much. haha. so i m glad i said it.

and i really appreciate the smile. it feels good to have support.

but for now, it's time to focus.

i did nth for one whole day. goodness gracious.

it's really really time, to discipline myself, and do GREAT things, for thy kingdom.

love you!!!!!! like never before.

ok. i have had that little bit of time. so i decided to just do a proper post for everybody.

seriously, it feels TOTALLY weird not to be in church on a sunday morning. i cannot remember for how long i have been attending service EVERY SUNDAY. and suddenly, to be able to slp in on sunday morning feels totally funny. haha.

anyway, ok this is the birthday post i owe everybody. (:

so here's the story.

my members have tried really hard to think of a bday surprise for me, because this yr we r just so into surprises. hahahaha. it just gets from glory to glory.

so..

they thot of this cinderella story, and turned me into the cinderella for the day(s). haha. on sat night(26 Jul), i received this sms from an unknown no.. sth like do u want to noe how the cinderella's story unfold (in chinese), stay tuned to find out! something like that la. haha. n i thot the no looks awfully familiar, so it turns out to be ting's sis' no.

then 845 am on sun morning, my 3 stepsisters (and a step brother, ie. the AHS girls plus 1 AHS guy) turned up at my main gate with breakfast. (awww so sweet, but alas i dun drink soya milk. ya they bought that) they pretended to be my stepsisters, ordering me to do chores and all before heading down to church. haha. and i was in a maddd rush running to church!!!

and after the service, they celebrated my bday, gave me my presents (which i really like- a pair of glam-looking wedges and bag from river island, and a eye-shadow base from mac) and told me i must wear them for my "ball" on monday. that was the first time i rem my cg praying for me, and that was cool. (:

and i spent the afternoon in my aunty's house, celebrating with my cousins and all. and it's amazing how much blessing i received. thank You Jesus.

and after dinner with my dad and sister, i met wj n mx n did some awfully lame stuff. cos i cannot even rem what i did. haha.

ok let's fast forward to my birthday k? haha.

i was supposed to meet wj n mx in town to sing k. and the irritating guys din want to sing k box and wanted party world, only becos it's 4 dollars cheaper, which i felt was dumb la. haha. so i unwillingly went with them to party world, and it's so funny, cos they were like passing msges to one another n all, (it's hard to ignore) and it was totally obvious sth is going to happen. HAHAHA. how to not see when there's only 3 ppl in the room and 2 idiotic guys r like passing the hp ard? and running every other moment out of the room to make calls? hahahaha.

so after singing for 2.5 hours, n wj insisted on finishing forever love, which i will post up soon, wj picked up a tiara, a pair of sunglasses and note from outside the note. i was supposed to put them on, and the sunglasses is opaque, so i could not see at all. (ok except for one small slit)

to cut the long story short, they brought me up the bus, to suntec, walked me thru the malls and brought me to a salon for my makeover. so i was supposed to keep my eyes closed until my hair cut was done, which i did, and wad u see now is the final result. 劲爆. to the max la.

then they made me close my eyes, brought me out of the salon, and we had a go at "the bachelorette" to choose my prince charming la. so it ended up with jj and they accompanied me to my dinner at ps. haha.

u can tell i'm really lz after a while, cos it's an awfully long post! so here's for the impt stuff. anyway i'll post up pics soon yeah?

to my cg, i have said it many times i guess, but YOU ARE APPRECIATED!!!! haha. it's a beautiful surprise, and ppl asked me, how could u allow ur members to do that to u??? but well i told i'm in good hands, and when i told my fren, he said that ur members really love u!!! which i agree, so guys, THANK YOU!!! i feel weird telling u guys such stuff face to face la, but i really love u all. E357 really rocks! and I LOVE U ALL!

to my CGCs, u have done an awfully great job and thank you for running with me for the vision all these while!

seriously E357, u r the most fantastic members any leader could ask for. :)

and to wj n mx, thanks guys for all the efforts. really appreciate ur company and all. u guys have been great frens to xt!

and to MY subzone, THANKS for being my fellow c0-workers.

and to my bestest frens, good frens and all, (u all know who u r)
thanx for always being there for me thru thick and thin. i appreciate the fact that all of u r a phone call away, and u nv fail to be there for me when i need u. thanks for the company always and always, for investing time into my life, for believing in me, for all the encouragement and the edification, for running this race with me, for inspiring me always, to do greater things for God.

did i tell u?

i m truly humbled by His mercy and grace. and i m eternally grateful that He placed all of u in my life.

i'm entering into the 23rd year, a new phase of my life. it's gonna be great.

with lots of love,
ting (:

i admit, i m not feeling too good.

if i m so unaffected, then it's so inhuman.

it hurts me becos it hurts my loved ones.

i saw my dad, n i know it hurts.

God, it does hurt. take care of it won't u?

when i recalled how we sat there, i thought to myself.

i cannot never imagine it possible.

then i thought

if it really happens,

it can only be God.

suddenly, i was reminded of the pain 12 years back. it's an awfully long time.