there is something that i do every single year, that is to reflect my year and of course set new year resolutions.

So here you go. my take on 2008.

2008 has truly been glorious.

after years of wanting to rise up, to do more, i see myself stepping into another realm, of leadership, of servanthood, of love, peace and joy. we have indeed all grown.

2007 was xiaoting's comeback yr, when God really did a work in my heart, strengthened me once again to keep on running for Him. and in 2008, i see His grace, mercy and love. it was amazing.

1. we finally saw the cg multiplying. it's a year where i witness the faithfulness of God. and know that nothing is impossible. if only we pray and believe. and with that, e489 was birthed forth. it's a dream come true. wow.

2. i stepped out, and did minorE. honestly, that was no regrets and it was all worth it. one of the best things i've done in ntu. through it all, i saw His grace and hand at work in my life. and i really learnt what does it mean to engage the marketplace.

3. being part of ntu ministry. being part of happening camp, helping out in the ministry and getting to know a whole bunch of awesome ntu friends.

4. citynews was birthed forth from a vision. yes truly like wad MT said, we don't just talk the talk, we walk the walk. he truly demonstrated wad that meant with his life.

5. being part of Asia conference, GSIF, camp alive, and everything that God gave me a chance to experience this year.

6. My first mission trip to that land that He has called me to. My first time interpreting and preaching in Mandarin. This year, i have officially become an interpreter as well.

7. Openings after openings. It's beyond what i can count.

i feel blessed. blessed with all the opportunities that came my way. blessed with a great church and awesome leaders. blessed with great friends and relationships.

it was a year of stretching, stepping out, rising up, breaking limitations, and truly, He has done exceedingly, abundantly above all that I asked or imagined.

and with that, i would like to extend my thanks to

1. my cg. E357! They are the most awesome people anyone can lead. Yes there r ups and downs, there are good and bad days, but God has been so good. I love you all.

2. MY subzone. You are the best team and co-workers anyone could have. I love your craziness, your joy, your spirit of fighting together, your love for people. To sum it up, i love u all. Thank you for giving me a chance to serve and run together with you. To a greater 2009!

3. My minorE friends. they have been the most adorable people to work with. I love minorE batch 14. it would be one of my most precious memories in NTU.

4. Saturday boys. Words cannot express my thanks and love. Thank you for the friendship over the years. You guys are awesome.

5. Pastor, for believing in me always. It's a privilege to serve under you. You're truly an inspiration to me.

6. Meiyan, for being my mentor and friend. Truly, without you, there would not be xiaoting today. Thank you for the love and discipleship all these years. It's truly an honour to serve you and run your vision.

7. Last but not least, for my Lord. thank You for being King and Lord, and more than that, a friend, a brother, a father in my life. without you, all this could not have been possible. I LOVE YOU JESUS. (like what the song says, our love goes on and on.)

just a sidenote:
to my gd fren. i am happy for you. it's amazing how God works in miraculous ways, and i believe He has a tremendous plan for ur life. Thank you for being my fren. Yes you nv fail to be there when i need you, and i appreciate that. i believe 2009 will be greater. thank you for putting up with my wilful ways all these yrs.

and to yl. when i look back at 08, i am amazed by how God moves. I rem how we were toking abt it at the end of 07, and before we knew it, He had come true. you are so near. reach for the stars.

on the last day of 2008, i was given this award. The Valedictorian Award. First feelings was that of overwhelm. truth is, there are many more awesome CGLs in YK. To be awarded this among so many was a privilege. I am truly humbled.

As i stood there, and thinking back, i knew it was His grace at work. His grace that enabled me to lead and disciple. and i knew, i was standing there by His grace.

it was a reminder, that in 2008, i got to where i wanted to go. and another reminder, that this is only the beginning. if this award was given to me 1/2/3 years ago, it would have been different. because now, besides the feelings of joy, the trophy starts at my shelf, reminding me, xiaoting, there's so much more for you. looking at it does not remind me of the past, but the future, all that He has in store in 2009. It's a reminder to get up and move on.

I did once think, maybe i have already arrived. But towards the end of the yr, God began speaking to me in different ways, to remind me, ting, there's so much more.

so i am thankful for 2008, n i m really looking forward to 2009.

it's the yr i will graduate, cease being a student, and step into society.

wow.

今年，我发现到，以我独身一人，我真的做不到。我需要他，也需要一个团队。他的好，我铭记在心。因为我知道，如果不是他，这一切真的不会发生。谢谢你为我做的一切，我会展望未来，我会成为更好的一个人。

stay tuned for my NY resolutions. haha. it should be up soon.

did i tell you that i really love my cg???

in case i din,

i love E357!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here's the cutest video. lol

enjoyyyy.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtVD-ZryxuM

刚和朋友谈话后，才想起，我是多么久没有用我最喜欢的语言在这里写东西了。哈哈。

而且，我们已经进入2009年了。天啊。

现在的我，非常开心，开心到我不能够认真的和你谈谈我的感想。2008和其他年真的不一样。我少了那种惆怅和不舍的心情。带着一颗平静的心，进入了2009年。

奇怪的是，今年应该会是最具挑战性的一年，因为我要毕业了！可是我却少了担忧，多了一份踏实和安全感。谢谢你啦。

2008 has been great. a year of seeing dreams coming to pass. but 2009 will be greater. i refuse to let the old victories pull me back. i'm gonna move on to a greater yr ahead. more of my thanksgiving, appreciation and what not's later k? maybe tml. haha.

anyway, last night i went to visit my fav nephew. have i told u how in love i m with him? he's the most adorable kid on this planet. and he's awfully funny. have u ever heard a kid who says "oh man" and "cool man" at the age of 6? lol. it's so much fun hanging out with him you know. haha.

i'll be back soon yeah? (: just to blog.

i cant tell u how touched i felt, when i saw the posts.

just like i cant tell u how hurt i felt, when those words were being uttered.

it brings joy to know that there're ppl running with you; it brings pain to know that some are not.

and yes, i love the quote on yl's blog. pardon the copyright. quoting from yl's blog.

"We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesnt work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse: "Oh, well, i didnt really want it anyway." We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. Then, we warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how."

-The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

this speaks it all. ALL.

why m i feeling so upset.

dun make me feel unappreciated.

dun make me feel it's all not worth it.

dun duN DUN.

DON'T.

i think i need You.

and i think i need a break.

a great battle fought. but i wonder if we won victoriously.

communication.

love.

fellowship.

company.

friends.

quality time.

the biggest battle ever fought.

but why do i not feel victorious at all.

take my hand and lead me through, won't you?
i also need the light of Christmas to light up my **** days.

i was packing my room, and while clearing my shelves, i saw the prom booklet, Clair de lune. (now that's hwa chong, they always come up with some funny names which we dunno what it means. haha) and guess what i found? my chow's note to us!!!! and seriously, when i read it, i almost cried. now here it is for all of you. and i found pics of me in crutches then! haha.

零三S六一班同学，
还记得曾经对你们说过黄城的故事吗？（很感人吧！）
还记得曾经教过你们牛顿定律的中文版吗？（Newton's Laws!）

还记得曾经我们一起“熬”过的“Physics Camp"吗？（也许可申请成为健力士最长的补课时间纪录！）

还记得曾经在补课后到6th ave 吃 laksa 吗？（这么辣 Kian wee 还加特多的辣椒！xiaoting's note: yes and i remembered how 8 of us squeezed into chow's car, and the ruth and futh joke!! oh that is so classic!）
还有许许多多的曾经 （许许多多我们都忘了）。

最后一节的CT课，不是CT的我也来了（哈哈，好kaypo哦！）。原本要好好道别的，但考试的气氛笼罩着大家，纵有千言万语，只好改为勉励的话。

在梁文福的《曾经》读到这么一句话，觉得很有意思：”只要曾经有过令我们惦念不已的美丽，你在城中小小暂驻，又岂是慢慢风烟所能烟灭？“

Mr Chow (Physics) 周爷

读到这里时，我差点就哭了。是的，我无法忘记在黄城的小住，有人问我，是中学好，还是初院好，我说，因人而异，但对我而言，我无法忘记黄城的美好时光。

missing and loving u guys, 03S61! l

ove,ting aka xiao bian :P
P.S. could we pls meet up with mr chow???

that day i had a conversation with MY. i was telling her, many times as a leader, we may think that we have already arrived, but the truth is, that there is still a long way to go. I have always admired people who choose to keep on moving on, to keep on becoming better.

And MY said sth that really struck me hard. She said, people choose to move on because of a vision. They move on because they have a vision of what they want to become. What a revelation. Not that it is something i don't know about, but there and then, suddenly it hit something in me.

Last Sunday, Pastor also preached about being a person of vision. I really felt God speak to me. What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of disciple, leader? What kind of future do i want? It was something that i started to ponder. What do i want to see in 2009?

Read someone's blog by chance. What she wrote in her blog reminded me of certain things. Coming back to the secret place again. Wanting to seek Him for more, to have more of Him. Like what Pastor said, God is first, Family second, Ministry third.

ending 2008 with a big bang, and looking forward to 2009.

xiaoting, RUN!

ting called. while i was lying on my bed. letting it flow.

thanks girl. your call meant a lot. in that dark moment.

thanks for reminding me, i'm not alone, n someone cares.

i was talking to a member in the week and i was telling him, one of the most important thing in our christian life is to have hope. many ppl leave, becos they lose hope. in Hebrews, the word of God said, the hope of God is the anchor of our soul. how true.

i really dunno wad i can do. really. if u could help me, pls do. i'm so on the verge of tears.

thinking about a lot of things. wish that life can be a little slower, and wish that i can just take time to do what i want to do. i don't like it, when life just takes me along, and brings me wherever it wants to go. i wish i could be more in control, and do what i really want to do.

was thinking abt something last friday but i din blog it down. here it is. you know, i just realised, that being a cgl taught me a lot abt parenting. haha.

as a cgl, when ur ppl are growing up, you never play a controlling role. becos u cant. eric said this one time abt parenting, that when they're young, you give them ur unconditional love. when they're older, you teach and impart. when they r teenagers, u become their friend. and when they finally grow up, you let them go.

you know i really agree, that i just have to let my ppl grow in the Lord, grow in their faith. i know God has a unique path for everyone of them, and not everyone of them will turn out like me. i have to let them discover the path that God has for them. the truth is, that my disciples can be very different from me, have different ideas, and that's perfectly alright.

but you know something? when a parent gives birth to a child, they have the same dna. as much as the child can be very different from the parent, there's sth that runs in the blood. it's the same thing. as much as i know that my disciples can be very different from me, in turns of personality, style, character and even fashion sense, there are things that run in the blood, and these are convictions and values..

seriously, i do not expect my disciples to be identical to me, but i do expect that the same dna is found in them. the same convictions, the same values, the same intolerance for certain things, and the same standard. that is the dna. this is the dna of chc. and really, many things are not taught, they are caught.

i will be proud, when i produce disciples, who are very different from me, doing great things, but yet carrying the same convictions and values regarding the things of God.

some things just cannot be compromised.

today while i was in school, i just randomly started to play this song in my head, "running after You".

it's a praise song that we used to sing, that says

"I don't care what people will say

I'm running after You

I wouldn't turn back and go their way

I'm running after You

No matter what may come my way

I'm running after You

It's You I'm following today

I'm running after You"

One of the definitions of "run" -- to move, roll, or progress from momentum or from being hurled, kicked, or otherwise propelled

I was thinking in my heart, although we describe our Christian life as a walk with God, but we also often say, we're running after the Lord.

Interestingly, the nature of the word "run" is not something that is passive. It always indicates something active and of great energy. Similarly, it is reflective about our Christian lives. Our lives are never meant to be a "kay sarah sarah, whatever will be will be". The Lord did not save us, so that we can comfortably retreat somewhere in a cottage, and sleep the rest of our lives away. He did not call us into passivity. But instead, He has called us into a race.

Paul said, "I press toward the prize for the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

As Christians, we are called to run, we are called to fight, we are called to do something. The very nature of "run" brings us to a destination. God has called us to lay down our lives, and run for a cause. We were never called to stay where we are, within our comfort zone.

That is what I have been thinking nowadays. What am i running for? What is the thing that I would lay down my life for? What is the cause that I am fighting for in my life?

I feel that I am searching, and i know, that He has something in store for me.

Dear all, RUN!!! Don't stop, don't walk, focus your eyes on the Lord, and RUN!!!

跑出一片属于自己的天堂!

原本平静的心，又再一次荡漾起来。

原本已抛到九霄云外，现在又卷土重来。

我要简单。我要自然。我要在他的安排下。

我也不想再想了。

i promise i will do another proper post on GSIF soon. a lot of thoughts which i need to pen down. i totally think that it's so true. If u have not said it out or written it down, you have not thought it through. So i want to pen down all those thoughts.

just a sidenote. it was not a fantastic morning yest, but other than that, everything else was. GSIF, fellowshipping with friends. i really love it.

i enjoyed the bus ride with my friend back then, and i m falling in love with siglap area. hurhur. and to be back at 85 is great. lol. back mx left, feeling really angry with me!!! so sad! it has been such a long time since saturday boys met up, and it felt just like yesterday.

a lot of thoughts, a lot of inspirations, a lot of feelings that need to be expressed. give me a day to just think things through. i'll be back with more. (:

lots and lots and lots of love from me. (((((:

p.s. dun u just think that love is in the air? haha. wad a cliche statement. but everybody seems to be getting attached! and no i'm not. not yet. haha. but it's just such an interesting happening nowadays. haha.

it has been an awesome 2 days at GSIF -- global social innovators forum.

mind-blowing, and the passion of the people in the place was so contagious. i m so glad for the opportunity to be there, thank you and YOU!

my takeaways -- it doesn't take much to do something, does it? and it's amazing that people really believe how "little" they do can make this world a better place. wow.

some of the simplest ideas to improve the lives of people. i realised i m so cut out for entrepreneurial stuff.. because i feel totally at ease, networking, attending the forums and i love all the workshops.

going for minor in entre was one of the best things that i did in my uni life, i feel.

and if everyone would just play a part, truly, we would make this world a better place.

do u noe that jet li and all the rest really believed in that?

cool.

a sidenote, guess who i met at the forum??? helen shen la. that's way so cool because we were supposed to meet this week. our much-postponed date. and in the end, we saw each other for 2 days in a row at the forum. that's like way cool la. and i like that i thought. it's cool to see what she's doing at work and what i'm doing in my life. the sad thing is we din take pictures la!!!! and i met her good fren from MA prog too. haha. now we're a little more updated.

just now i was talking to somebody. and he was telling me that he wasn't feeling good. n he din sound esp nice. and i was thinking in my heart, that i wasn't feeling too good either. in GSIF, they kept talking abt partnerships n collaborations. it takes a team to make sth work. it takes a team to make the vision come to pass. i need a team, committed, passionate and enthusiastic. yes although i believe one person can make a difference, i also believe, with u on board, much more things will happen. join me in transforming the world, wun u?

elim chew said.. impossible is also i m possible.

ya i believe that too.

now give me a little courage, a little strength, and a little encouragement, to take that little step, and walk that little mile.

something that i have been thinking abt nowadays. about believing people, and about speaking into our lives.

that was sth i took back from AC, how we can change the world, one at a time.

believing, yes you can, and yes we can.

recently i have been thinking abt a lot of things. a lot on friendships. dr bernard always says, relationships precede ministry. a lot of dilemma, a lot of work. it's funny how a fren stepped in, cos he said he felt friendships r so valuable. and it's appreciated la. i know where he's coming from.

but sometimes i just feel, it's never a one-way thing. and i hate it to be one-way. u know me. and sometimes i wish, i don't have to do that much, and press in as much. toking specifically abt certain things and people. don't think too much.

sometimes i wish, all these could be a lot simpler.

on another note, it's never accidental. close friendships are forged because we chose to, open our hearts and lives to certain people. it's becos we chose to press in, and we chose to let them in. i know it's silly that i was thinking of that, but there's a reason why. i don't like to feel obliged, and it's more than that.

HC443 must be the most discouraging module i have taken. seriously.





i never find it difficult to write papers, study for exams and do well.





but everytime i meet my prof for this module, i feel more disheartened than ever.





and that is why, when i was listening to the various speakers in AC, i feel the need to excel more than ever. but i just received an email, which is not a fantastic comment.





now to quote ting, u tell me how???





exams in 2 days. fyp due i dunno when.





haix lord i nd ur help.





ok i must start confessing positively to my world.





just a clarification. richard soon is not my member. haha. for those who dunno. n this is THE classic photo. lol.

so cool. lol. thank God the reporter din write, 20 yr old richard soon. i will die of OD laughing. to quote dr bernard.

on another note, i met pst kevin loo yest at the airport. aiya shld have taken photo with him! haha. and sending off all the china delegates. love them like crazy. pics will be up soon. (:

i'm so gonna blog this down.

it has been awesome. what God has been doing in our hearts and lives.

today i stood there, n i saw pastor call him out.

mx n i both saw him on camera, and were wondering in our hearts, if pastor would be calling him out. and he did.

when pastor said, i feel the glory of God upon you. i smiled.

and i was thinking in my heart, this guy served the Lord in his ministry faithfully every wk. here is his reward.

without the sacrifice of availing himself to serve, he would never be standing on stage, being a catcher. but that very opportunity gave him an encounter with the Lord.

i dunno how to tell u, but i feel so glad.

there's sth greater upon this guy.

and i felt my heart smiling when Pastor spoke to him, and like wad ken said, i was thinking in my heart, that's my friend!

so to my dearest friend, i'm so proud of u. without the willingness to go the extra mile, u wun be where u r today. and u have a tremendous calling upon your life. God is calling u to Himself, more than the ministry and the serving, God is calling u to Him, a life of intimacy with the Holy Spirit. and i love wad pst phil said, u will minister the Holy Spirit for the rest of ur days. WOW.

it feels like i have been prophesied over instead. lol. but from the bottom of my heart, can i tell u, i feel soooo glad. God is awfully good.

MR RICHARD SOON, I M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!

haha. and i feel really happy for u. (:

a little battle-weary. though it seems like everything is ok, i felt like i fought such a tough battle this week.

just a little tired.

the God I know
righteous and holy
the God i know
faithful and true
the God i know
my tower of refuge
hearts are healed
Christ revealed

the God i know
light of the city
the God i know
strengthens the weak
the God i know
Your heart beats within me
as You are, so are we

the church He knows
righteous and holy
the church He knows
faithful and true
the church He knows
a tower of refuge
hearts are healed
Christ revealed

the church He knows
light of the city
the church He knows
strengthens the weak
the church He knows
is strong and mighty
as He is, so are we

battles after battles. i'm just a little tired, a little weary, a little worn out, and feeling a little alone.
talked to many many ppl this week. encouragement and affirmation.
i felt that i needed it too.

a fren said that my blog seems so emo. sorry but this is a channel to vent my frustration and problems. sometimes i just nd to blog to let it out.

when i heard this song yest, i was abt to weep. it was the cry of my heart, especially for these 2 weeks. carrying that burden.

when he called, i felt that it just din matter anymore. really.

tears flowed, and flowed, and flowed.

let the weak say, i am strong.

on a more positive note, i know it's going to be great next wk. and i noe, battles tell me, that my breakthrough is coming.

GREATER