Monday, January 30, 2006

i not stupid too

jus came back frm watching "i not stupid too". i was nv a big fan of jack neo, but after reading some of the movie critics, i decided to give it a try.

n i was pretty impressed n amazed i mus say.

the show had the usual stuff.. humour and all. the usual literary devices.. but what is new is really the theme inside. it had a central theme n i mus say, the film has said all that it wanted to say and shld say.

i guess the best part of the movie is really how closely it relates to our lives and how real it is. and that is jack neo. the films that he has made? he has taken it straight out of our lives. maybe some of us might feel that it is too dramatic.. but i have got to admit, certain scenes there r scenes that i have witnessed myself.

and i cried buckets. i cried so hard that when i came out, my eyes were all red n puffy and i used up the entire packet of tissue and it was not enuff. in case u dunno me, i m a person who is moved by family stories and also how pple overcome obstacles, not so much of the lovey-dovey romances.

although i think that it was a bit too much to put so many of that current issues and stick all of them tog, but i still felt that jack neo did a great job. it was not a superficial film, sth that would cause u to think.. and maybe, even have an effect on ur life. and to me, that is success for a film maker already.

i would recommend all to watch, probably get the vcd and watch it with ur parents. it will be a rewarding time i think.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

happy chinese new year.

happy 2006 again! haah.

yest i had a fruitful day, though tiring, going back to hwa chong n also going shopping.

interestingly, the route to hc seemed so long yesterday. i nv could understand y a 40-min ride seemed realli like eternity. but as i sat there, though now different, instead of wearing a brown uniform, i was wearing a skirt n nice shoes, looking nice with makeup on going to sch.

but i treasured every moment of it during the ride n nothing much seemed to have changed. sth changed though. smu is no longer there. ha. but serene centre n coro is so much so much the same. n i savoured every moment of it. stepping into hc, u feel so familiar yet so strange. 即熟悉又陌生的感觉。oh n i forgot to mention, the one thing that really felt strange was passing the sign that said Hwa Chong Institution instead of Hwa Chong Junior College. sorry tat i still cant get over it.

however, somehow this yr felt so much quieter. only the few of us. i kind of miss the 热闹of 61. there were so few of us yest. but! we were still as noisy as ever. haah. when we were in the lep staff room, the room was jus filled with our voices with biao covering his ears trying to stop da bian frm screeching into his ear. jus kidding. haah. and i cant forget the scene that at crystal jade, all of us started toking at the same time. it seemed like we cant get enough of talking and we had to talk. haah. it was realli funny and i guessed we were really noisy.

lep staff room felt different with onli yu n wang lao shi. i missed the familiar faces. and guess wad? the best compliment of the day was wang lao shi's comment b4 i left hc. he said...

i m becoming more n more like an ah lian. can u believe it? my eyes nearly popped out. seriously i felt pretty insulted. haa. but, thank God 我看得开。hee. it is okie la but it was realli kind of a funny comment. me becoming more n more ah lian and he also commented -- becoming more n more of the chionging/ chiongster type. not like our chionging as in clubbing. but more of like happening i shld say.. but seriously.. xiaoting ==> ah lian?? haah.

i guess it shld be a compliment. hee. ah lians r pretty right? haah. and after that we had a fab lunch with chow n teo. crystal jade on chow. aint that sweet? i think helen will die of jealousy. haah. hope u r reading this gal. n chow is as funny as ever but also as intelligent n deep as ever. he is still one of my fav tchers.

and i went shopping. again. yes i can imagine ur face right now. freeze right there! haah. nth much that i bought really, which is a good thing and i came back to catch love concierge. although it is a lame stupid silly romantic comedy, i still enjoy it all the same. haah.

and i guess that is abt it. i m going to slp n also spend some time these couple of days thinking bout my new yr goals. see ya.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

missing u.

i m missing u. who? i dunno. haah. recently thoughts filled my mind n i m back to my thinking mode again. if i live in chun qiu, i may probably be one of the philosophers.

tdy was jus mentioning lep to a fren. and i realise love filled my voice even when i toked abt my precious memories. i cant help but say... i love hwa chong! although things r nv going to be the same anymore, and they r not, i still love this sch that made me feel like i belonged.

i nv knew any other sch that made me stand with pride, saying, i m frm hcjc.

i nv knew any other sch that could move me to tears with pride during the announcement when i hear of their achievements.

i nv knew any other sch that gave me such freedom i felt like i was myself.

i nv knew any other sch that posed such challenge that i m determined to outdo myself each time.

i nv knew any other sch that i could call my second, or should i say third home. (2nd is city harvest!)

i nv knew any other sch that evokes such a patriotic spirit in me.

nope. there is really none like it. i love hwa chong junior college. not instituition.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

You Are a Warrior Soul
You're a strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating.You don't give up. You're committed and brave.Truly adventuresome, you are not afraid of going to battle.Extremely protective of loved ones, you root for the underdog.
You are picky about details and rigorous in your methods.You also value honesty and fairness a great deal.You can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding.You're a hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul
You Are a Warrior Soul
You're a strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating.You don't give up. You're committed and brave.Truly adventuresome, you are not afraid of going to battle.Extremely protective of loved ones, you root for the underdog.
You are picky about details and rigorous in your methods.You also value honesty and fairness a great deal.You can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding.You're a hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul
Your Hair Should Be Pink
Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun.You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

inspired

i just came across a senior's blog. after reading, it jus took me back to what Pst Kong was talking about on Sunday. and somehow, i m inspired to write, and to write beautifully.

i did not always learn to appreciate people who can write beautifully in English, cos in my heart, English somehow seems to be somewhat inferior to my mother tongue. No offence intended. and in my sch uniform days, i always admired those who wrote lovely poems that r so out of the world. in chinese of cos. but somehow, i have also learnt to appreciate this international language for itself. it can be realli beautiful despite it being able to be totally crude too.

Pst once told me, if u can read, u can speak. n that itself builds up ur confidence. it was a revelation to me. and since the end of 2005, writing n thinking have been a shelter, a refuge and i have fallen in love with writing all over again.

i cant help but come back to these thoughts. bout how much humans can achieve. this is sth that i always deeply believed inside of me, that there is so much we can do n achieve that we have not done before.

tdy i saw the bei da pple in ntu. it stirred up sth in me. however, i m jus as determined to make my life in ntu heaven on earth. i have a purpose and i will live it n fulfill it.

word of the day: predilection

Friday, January 20, 2006

sleepless

奇怪的是,我接了一通电话后,无法入眠。我以前很少知道失眠是什么感觉,因为没有多少事物能让我失眠,今夜,我闭上眼睛后,脑袋却不听使唤,以50km/h的速度驾驶,并没有停下来的意思。

而我只好以50words/min的速度,在键盘上打出我的心声。

我常常会看着自己,想想,我是不是做错了,或是什么地方做得不好,我总是对自己的要求很高。难道在对自己要求高的当儿,也不知不觉地对身旁的人有着同样的标准吗?我真的不想只过自己想要的生活,我想要过他要我过的生活,去行他的义。

现实和理想总是有个落差,难怪我们有这套学问叫做expectation management.

突然觉得,许多人认为晓亭常常都很开心,也对,哈哈,我真的是很少愁眉不展,但是欢乐的背后, 不是每个人都能看见的。但是,晓亭还是开心的。因为,我有了这么一个决定,我要过的充实,开心。世上没有打不开的解,也没有解决不了的问题,这是我深信的。在幽谷走着,有一天一定会走出来,看到美丽的太阳,不是吗?

刚才看了一个节目,“青春游走”,被lily goh的热忱感动了。我喜欢这一号人物,不被自己的状况限制,勇敢走出来。她才是我学习的榜样。

新的一年里,我不再沮丧,不再忧伤,因为有他,明天就有希望。

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

painful experience

plucking ur wisdom tooth is a painful experience.

i remember in 1 Cor.. The bible says that every part of my body play a necessary part. now when i jus extract my wisdom tooth, i realli think it is so. jus removing one tooth has cost me so much pain n inconvenience. it is only thru these little things that u start to treasure the things that u have taken for granted. like brushing ur teeth. eating. drinking. haah. these r now so precious to me. and my stomach is growling. but i cant realli eat. haix.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

i jus feel like blogging while i feel like slping at the same time. silly ger.

there r times in my life that i jus feel blissful. this is now how i feel. happy. contented n satisfied.

tdy's service was really good. a powerful msg pst preached bout eternity. i love being in the hse of God.

it is a happy thing that we get to enter a new yr n start life anew. hee. that we can put behind past things n move on n love God.

i still love cs lewis. i m going on to the 4th book of chronicles of narnia.

i love my life love chc love my psts n ldrs and love my cg n love Jesus.

i love serving the Lord.

i love my frens. i love u.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

desires of ur heart

In the Bible, God promises that if u delight urself in the LORD, He will give u the desires of ur heart. well i m glad to say that God did that for me.

i realli wanted to have a break.. to let my mind n emotions rest. n i did. had a wonderful time the past few days resting. n God blessed me in a tremendous way.

kinda of prepared to face the new yr. Just need to soak myself more in His presence.

till then.

Monday, January 02, 2006

chronicles of narnia

tdy watched chronicles of narnia! it is such such a cool show. haah. i m in love with it. n i m convinced that c s lewis is an amazing author. (:

tml is the first day of sch! i m kinda excited bout it.

anyway.. this r my goals for the yr.

1. fix my eyes upon Him no matter wad. that i will look to Him n nothing else.

2. study realli realli hard!

3. have greater faith in myself n in God

4. be a great reader!

5. and many many else that i not gg to put here..

i will work hard for God in this coming yr. tat is the power of focus. i will not allow myself to be distracted. xt jia you!

Sunday, January 01, 2006

happy 2006!

happy new yr! me n ce prayed thru the yr! yay!!

Friday, December 30, 2005

here i m. back again.

okie. i m back again. trying to blog bout some stuff bout this yr. it is realli weird. cos tdy is the 30th of dec n i jus cant feel in any way wanting to think bout my yr again or reflecting on wad happen or wanting to set new goals for the new yr. there r still issues not resolved. gee.

realli. there isnt at all a mood that i m stepping into the new yr.

this yr was a yr full of challenges. i once wondered n thot.. wad issit like to be Pst? when u faced opposition frm the devil all the time. before i became a cgl, my life was still pretty okie. of cos there r challenges here n there. but man.. i dunno wad r challenges until i became a cgl.

this was a yr of ups n downs, highs n lows. but sth that was consistent was that i grew. i realli did. grew to be more mature.. and to quote sis meiyan, she said u will learn to grow stronger emotionally. i did. spiritually i grew. n grew closer to God than i nv did before. well typing it till here.. i realli do feel.. this has been a great yr after all.

many times i will be full of not-so-happiness.. thinking.. huh y is this like this n that like that n stuff.. but suddenly at the end of this yr, i jus realised, instead of being so discontented, i was really thank God for the things in my life. n here is wad i can thank God for...

1. i thank God that this is my 10th yr in chc. n in my 10th yr, he chose to raise me up as a cgl. it has been a priveilege to serve Him, to change lives, to touch lives n to help His people grow. thank you for making me a leader.

2. i thank God for my leaders. for Pst YK and for sis meiyan. for pastor always being so inspiring and motivating. that enable me to always dream bigger dreams for Him. n thank God a dozen dozen lot for sis meiyan. for her wisdom n her advice always. for her listening ear. for her understanding n knowing-me-so-well. for her encouragement when i m down. for jus being my leader n teaching me how to become better. thank God for her.

3. i thank God for my members. for a gp of pple who love God n pple. who nv fail to inspire me n to cheer me on with their love n passion for the lost n their sch. they r one of the greatest pple u can ever lead. no doubt they have their weaknesses.. but yet like Jesus, i will learn to see them thru my eyes of faith. believing that they will be like the 12 disciples, one day, turning their world upside down for God.. and they r already starting to do that.

4. i thank God for frens. for good godly frens. i noe that i can be so noisy n nonsensical at times. but God placed pple in life who love me n put up with me and always there when i feel like i m so alone. thank God for good frens!

5. thank God for the doors He has opened to me. for working in chec. for teaching in AHS n DHS. for going to taiwan with pst YK. those were experiences i treasure frm the bottom of my heart. i have learnt so much this past yr jus by working alone. and my missionary trip was this yr.

6. i thank God for His provision. that God provided for me. always. n He blessed me so that i can be a blessing. and that He brought me to ISrael and opened my eyes to the Holy Land. wad a priveilege.

7. i thank God for growth. that He has grown my cg, brought in pple n changed lives. and we will continue to grow.

8. i thank God for good results. in hwa chong n in ntu. that He has blessed me to do well.

9. i thank God for city harvest and our senior pst. that God has placed me in a great church so that i can do great things for Him. and our pst who loves us so much n sacrificed so much for us. words cannot express my gratitude.

10. one last thing.. i thank God for Him. that He has always been there in my life. He has never left me nor forsook me. jus like He promised. n He is always standing by me, loving me, encouraging me. every time i m down, He will be there to say xiaoting it is okie, u can do it. with me, all things r possible. when i feel lonely, He will be there. saying i m with u always, even to the end of the age.

God, words alone realli cannot express my gratitude towards u. You have been amazing to me. i know that there r times that i let u down, days when i allow the devil to step over me, days o jus refused to get up n move on. but i wan to thank You for believing in me right from the beginning. that You trusted me enough to take care n allowed me to be a shepherd to ur pple. When i m down, u were always there, right by my side, cheering me on. i m who i m tdy becos of You. n i stay standing right here becos of You. all that i have done is not by my own strength. thank You for enabling me.

love ya lots lots lots lots lots. i love You.

last cg meeting of the yr

tdy was my first thanksgiving cg meeting that i took.thank God that the end is always greater than the beginning and i m happy at how the cg ended. it jus feels a bit weird cos this time i m conducting it.this yr it is different. but it was a great great thanksgiving. (: i enjoyed myself totally. frm the games to the cgm to the video and the bbq.

acty i m not realli in a mood to blog. but i really wanna thank my cg. so here u r.

i realli liked the video. came home n watched it n laughed my head off. n yeah i saw that break dance. haah. it was realli hilarious. no kidding. guys thanx for loving me despite those many times u were scolded by me.. and putting up with ur cgl's craziness at times.

i dunno how to continue. too tired. another time maybe.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

xmas is here :)

tdy is the eve of xmas. time realli flies isnt it? tdy is already the 24th of dec. i tend to get realli nostalgic when the end of the yr comes. haah. cos i still cannot get used to the speed of time. it seems to travel faster than light. before u noe it, it has already passed u. kind of eerie isnt it? ni cant believe i have passed my 19-yr-old life n next yr i m 20. it is starting with a 2. i think i better start bucking up n make greater use of my time!

Monday, December 19, 2005

lovely song

BEFORE THE WORLD BEGAN
YOU WERE ON HIS MIND
EVERY TEAR YOU CRY
IS PRECIOUSIN HIS EYES
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

NOTHING YOU CAN DO
COULD MAKE HIM LOVE YOU MORE
NOTHING YOU HAVE DONE
COULD MAKE HIM CLOSE THE DOOR
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

COME TO THE FATHER
THOUGH YOUR GIFT IS SMALL
BROKEN HEARTS BROKEN LIVES
HE WILL TAKE THEM ALL
THE POWER OF THE WORD
THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

this is how God feels towards u.
wun u come to the Father tdy?

Thursday, December 08, 2005

expo!

wow wow wow wow! we had our first meeting at expo tdy! our prayer meeting! it was realli realli cool n exciting! we prayed n prayed n tarried in the presence of God. and it was tremendous! Pst Kong said that he felt like the heavens is breaking! we felt so too! there was jus like a new wave of anointing.. a new thing that God is doing in the church!

i m jus so determined that as an individual n as a cg, we r gg to move up another level too!

Monday, December 05, 2005

and..

and.. this is the place God raised me up to be a cgl! i will nv nv forget how God used these yrs to mould me and to bring me into my calling! thank u Jesus!

and..

and.. this is the place God raised me up to be a cgl! i will nv nv forget how God used these yrs to mould me and to bring me into my calling! thank u Jesus!