christmas

i m really supposed to be sleeping now. but i jus wanted to blog abt this.

i always love attending big celebration services, just like our xmas tdy.

tdy after i watched the drama, when i was holding the candle, i was just so filled with awe.. and with thanksgiving. in my heart i was telling God.. thank You for coming 2000 yrs ago for me, n for u and the entire human race. (:

and the second time i was holding the candle, Jesus spoke to me. Ting i came to be a light to this world, to dispel darkness, n whoever has me, they will not live in darkness, i will light up their life, just like the little candle that lit me up. i may not be able to see many steps ahead, but becos of the light that is guiding me, i can walk every step of the way.

he leads. n he lives.

happy birthday Jesus.

n merry xmas to all.

戏后感想

很神奇的一件事是，每一次看一些笨到不行的家庭温馨影片，我都会哭得稀里哗啦。记得有一次我很伤心的回家，看着《我家四个宝》的大结局，我竟然哭了起来。真是荒谬。

刚才又在电视上看了类似的电影，又哭得稀里哗啦。电影的尾端写着：

献给那些为爱坚持和牺牲的人

突然想起以前常跟朋友说的话，现在走的这条路，似乎困难重重。天天都在“打仗”，好不辛苦。但话又说回来，我那时这么对朋友说，有什么值得争取的东西又是轻而易举的呢？

生命里值得我们追求的东西，不是都需要我们去披荆斩棘，才能得到吗？

success is not a destination. it is a journey. now i sound like some motivation speaker, which i hate.

总觉得每个人的生命里，都需要一个我们去坚持的理由。我常对朋友说，(yes n again) 其中一个让我这么珍惜有他的日子，因为他给了我活着的意义。我讨厌一些无聊的推动力，来逼我做我不想做的事。什么你需要一张好文凭啦，你需要赚很多钱等。。这些并不是不好的，但是，只为了追求这些而生存，我的生活也太没意义了。

当我看到老一辈的人时，总觉得感慨。看到我退休的老师们，爸爸和他的朋友，脸上流露着沧桑，希望我以后不会是这样。一股。。我们在这社会打滚了几十年，这世界是没有什么意义的。。 如果活了半百年，而又这样的感慨，实在令人感到难过。

所以。。

2007年的心愿，就是尽心地过每一天，活出自信，活出精彩，在我在生命里的这一篇添上美丽的色彩。

i wanna live a legacy behind.

a penny for ur thoughts

some things some pple said in the week that really spoke into my heart.

"If we have an escapist mentality, we will miss God big time. "
~sophie

"The Holy Spirit always do a greater work in the newer generation. If you are 24 and under, u r the next generation, n u will see God move in a greater way. John --> Jesus --> disciples. Greater works u will do than me, Jesus said. Dun say, not yet. Dun say, let me wait till tml, next yr, 5 years later. Today is the day of salvation. Rise up u new generation n equip urself to do the greater work! there will be a greater anointing, and the Holy Spirit will come, and He will use you for the greater works!!"
~sth pst tan said in my words.

pastor tan once said in one service.
"Disappointment is the hijacker of ur plane, that stops u from getting to ur destination."

equip me for the greater works. like how u used mary, use me.

let it be to me according to Your word.

in addition.

oh a few more things i forgot to blog bout.

last mon was miss sim's birthday! happy bday gal! love yaaaaaa! (((((:

and last fri was hui ying's bday too. sweet 16!

last sat went out to eat with esther daryl n sophie. seriously,i was really inspired by esther. working for her under half a yr.. i learnt some stuff but not alot cos i was too scared all the time. but now esther being in our zone, i really look up to her. n for once, i m unable to express the reason y i think she is so cool. really. but she has alot of confidence, she is a great leader, but she is not jus zai in the spiritual aspect, although she is really very zai as a spiritual ldr, she is more amazing than that. oh God help me to be like her!

and .. and..

DIYA ROCKS BIG TIME AT SUPERSTAR!!!!!

oh man i m jus so proud of her. i think she was so great n so cool.. i hope she really keeps it up all that way! go diya!

the past one week.

it has been an eventful week. God has been revealing many things to me and i learnt many many things. exams r finally over.

i love the service today. i dunno y but suddenly i m treasuring the days in church so much. yest i was jus standing outside the audi n i really felt the presence n anointing over city harvest. i love u church. n i feel like i jus wan to fall in love with You all over again. to be down at Your feet o Lord.

prayer meeting was awesome. i thot cg meeting was great too. feel like the breakthrough is coming.. we jus got to pray UNTIL we feel the presence n power of God.

tdy during prayer meeting, God was speaking to me. n God was telling me.. all that i had to do is to be like shamgar.. to hear n to obey. and the key to ur walk is to pray, hear n obey n pray.

i jus wan to fall in love with you. fall in love with you. nth beats spending with u lord. i can play, get wild, have fun with my frens, but i wan you.. so much in my life. becos without u, there is nth in my life. let it not get mechanical. let everything flow.. out of a love for You.

it's december!!!

i can't believe it!!!! we have stepped into the month of december! oh man.. and in a matter of 30 days, we r coming to an end of 2006! i really want to end this yr well with a super big bang! oh God i need ur grace oh so much!

jus read abt the ahs prom night. reminds me so much of my dhs and hc days. due to me toking more frequently to my ex-classmates, i miss uniform sch days so much! can't wait to get tog with the dhs and hwa chong frens!!! and my dear helen girl, i can't wait for u to come back! i havent seen u for a yr!!!! can we like go count down tog and get wild???? haaaha.

suddenly i really miss hanging out with frens n stuff. to all those who r reading my blog now.. especially my ex-classmates, i wan u to know that i miss u so much!!!! miss hanging out with all of u!!!! can we pls organise some outings.. and for those pple in 4e, come on man let's go out! haaha. stop waiting for somebody to organise.. haaha. i m jus gonna call somebody n initiate it.. i m so good at arrowing people. but pple, i miss u!!!!!!!!!

it's kind of SHOCKING to find out.. that all of us r going to be 21 next yr, and that the guys r all going into uni and become our juniors. muahahaha. but it's cool and it's brilliant n i simply cannot wait to meet up with all of u...

so for the month of december.. this is the song for u! Let's get loud.. let's get loud! haaaha

nah.. the mth of december marks a month of SOULS N BREAKTHROUGHS!

n it marks ending the yr with a BIG BANG!

n it marks reflections.. for all the wrong things i have done n need to change.. and to think abt wad i m going to do for the rest of my life.. haaha.

n it marks planning my 21st birthday! i think it's realli gonna get loud.. haaaaha.

n it marks meeting up with frens.. all the dhs pple and hwa chong pple.. let's meet up!

n it marks helen coming back.. u dunno how much i miss u girl..

n it marks CHRISTMAS!!!! christmas is coming...!!!

He's the reason for da season. so everything is going to be so great!

let's have a wonder-licious... DECEMBER N CHRISTMAS!!!!

其实我并没有什么也别想写的东西，感觉好像是硬逼自己坐在电脑面前，脑袋一片空白，手指却不停的打着。不知从哪一个时候开始，我学习如何让自己的脑袋放空。以前的我，脑袋总是充满了101条思绪。现在的我，却好像有点失了魂的样，有点和自己的思想和心情隔绝了。

i need to get in touch with my soul. i wonder how i can do that.

我好想飞。好想做一些很疯狂的事。有时候人在忙碌的时候，或许会迷失自己。我感觉晓亭迷路了好久，快点找到回家的路吧。

来临的一月，我想要消失。你想不想跟着一起来？让我们随风飞去，消失在人海中吧。

一个人 消失在人海中
如何 在人海找到自己 那是关键

我快要到家了 请等一等我吧。

sth new to blog abt

ooo. finally the exams r over! haaha. seriously i dun feel the sense of happiness i thot i will feel. nevertheless, i m happy, and i think i have worked hard. (not too bad la. quite hard)

went out with a fren tdy. i had quite a lot of fun n learned quite a lot of things. n from here, i m going to blog.

Hey gal,

what happened really changed my thinking. rem i used to tell u those things i said last time (pls dun reveal wad i said to him k).. i feel like i shld take them back, but i wun. but i must say, i m impressed. haaah. and this will make somebody's head very big. i really hope it will not, but this is from the bottom of my heart.

knowing him since quite a while ago makes us think that he is casual, laidback, and not much of a passionate person. no doubt we agreed he will make a very good bf, somehow we thot he din really proved to be so. but gal, i thot he has proven what we said right.

when i was toking to him, from the little things that he said, i learnt a lot of things. n i have to say, i think u found someone u can entrust urself to. no doubt there r things to be changed, but everyone of us has, but when u find someone who has a heart for you, and who thinks abt u in every little thing, i think that is wonderful. and i can really feel that love, care n concern in his voice. he is a great bf to have. and u r a great gf to have to, of course.

and girl, i think u r blessed. i m kinda convinced that he is really a great person.. and i hope he will live with passion and achieve great things.

and from the bottom of my heart, wishing u love forevermore.

to him,

i dunno if u will end up reading this or not, but u really impressed me big time. haah. u must be wondering y. i end up feeling that she is really the girl for u.

treasure her big time k.. i feel that my fren is so precious. n i think i know u will.

and dream big! and plan big! and do big things! i think u really can. so go there n do it, and be the BIGGEST TREE u can be, and provide the greatest shelter, stability and security.

and the most sincere blessings from my heart, your fren,
xiaoting

it has not been a very easy time. i feel like i m in the wilderness. n that my faith is being tested. i kept asking God, y r things not happening.. then i had a thought. maybe the angels delivering my answers r wrestling with the demons, so I NEED TO KEEP ON PRAYING.

i have nv or as far as i can remember, got myself into such a situation. i need help from You God.

daddy you will not allow us to go thru anything we cannot bear. and for every situation, there is always a way out. so i m really trusting in You. to come through for me.... Lord. help me. please.

do i look silly in this thing? i love it. haah. cos it's like sth that some mongolian princess will wear. but i look really dumb right? haah.

me n qi were really sound asleep n some evil pple took our pictures. haha.

my very good fren. this was taken on my birthday.celebrated it with my cg at 85.

this is evidence that i know belinda! but i m not sure if she remembers us. we were from the same bus in israel! i think she is pretty.

it has been a long week.

i realise i always recuperate by sleeping. is it physically, emotionally, or mentally.

it is not always that effective.

not as effective as the presence of God anyway.

but i slept. and left 6 chaps of my astronomy untouched. n left 1 plain prata n 1 egg prata untouched. wad a waste of my money. ha.

sometimes God leave u hanging to the thinest line possible, so that u can hang on the biggest God possible.

i feel like.. if God is not going to see me through, i m dead.

yep.

but.. He is going to see me thru. so..

LIFE IS STILL BEAUTIFUL. DESPITE ITS IMPERFECTIONS. THANK U!

is there anything too hard for Me?

Eze 22:30

so i sought for a man among, who would make a wall and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, but i found no one.

For a moment, i thot i was wrong.

Meiyan said sth, that i felt it might be really so. it went into my spirit.

perhaps it is time for a change. a big change.

"is there anything too hard for Me?"

i serve a BIG God. what bout u?

enjoying

was jus chilling out with chan eng at sing post. i know. wad a place right. haah.i was waiting for my bag. which i manage to slash the price from 32.90 to 25! it's either the person really jack up the price so much or i m a good bargainer. haaah.

but i feel deprived for so long. that for so long.. i think almost for one mth.. i have no life. n i realise how much i miss fun.. miss shopping.. miss hanging out. i need a breather! to all who r reading my blog right now, if u r free, u r invited to hang out with xiaoting after 29nov. haah. pls... ask me out to play! anything will do. i m considering to.. go to the zoo? go shopping.. watch movies.. vivo city.. etc etc etc. n i m going HK in jan i think n i hope.

my grandma jus moved into my hse. n i used to think that it is such a horror. but i realise, it is not so bad afterall. she is really nice. and having an old lady in the hse is nice. i realise old pple can jus get lonely. and they r jus looking for company. i love my grandma! haah.

i love my life. all thanks to the river that flows.

i need God.

i need the Holy Spirit.

i need sum1 who will stand in the gap.

i need a fighter.

i need sum1 to make things happen. for me n for You.

one last blog

i m going back hall. tml is my exam. somehow i feel like... i dunno. but this exam is really impt to me. i guess i have not taken exams so seriously since a long time ago. becos the xiaoting in jc n secondary n pri has been really hardworking. but since i came to uni, i forgot what it is like to work hard.

but i must get started now. n i have had a track record for the past 13 weeks. n i pray n i pray, i can run the last lap well and fight the good fight of faith.

i m still looking to my good grades. n today is the last day. xiaoting u must really start mugging very hard!!!

i really need grace. need grace to study hard in the midst of exams plus all the different activities.

God, empower me to succeed. thank You.

God's word for this week

John 7:37-38

"..'If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scriptures have said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water. "

I need the rivers of living water. i need to drink from the well that never runs dry.

when u r in the Spirit, there is a river and that is a flow. things dun get hard going. things dun get dry. becos the river flows.

Holy Spirit rain down upon me, upon us, upon my cg, upon this church i pray.

i wan to know the one who holds my hand as i run this race.

more of You Holy Spirit.

what lies ahead of me looks scary n insurmountable. but becos u r here, n u hold my hand day by day, everything is going to be ok. thank You.

i m always very appreciative of pst ulf's appearance. becos he nv fails to remind me wad i m missing out on. haha. whenever i see him, i will think n wonder n be in awe. becos he always demonstrates that "high" level that a minister can go up to. n i wish i have that kind of anointing n love n relationship with God.

it seems like as u grow older, u become more n more set in ur ways. n u have less n less desire for the extraordinary. i hate that happening to me. i wan to have a DEEP hunger for the things of God. a THIRST for the Holy Spirit n for what God has in store for me.

sometimes when u get busy, u jus get too busy to think. i have sort of spent less n less time thinking. n cos of the lack of laptop, i blog less n less. i like blogging. cos blogging makes me think. forces me to think.

yest studied at th airport overnight with ting zimu n jeremy. m amazed by zimu. he demonstrates an amazing depth of knowledge n opinions for his age.

noe wad? i wan to really have that kind of depth. jus now jeremy mentioned that terence (not that terence, haha) has depth. n i kind of have been missing out on that for a while. i really wan to be a great leader, who is anointed, who is fruitful, and i wan to have the rivers of living water flowing out of me. yet i also wan to be someone who qualifies to be sum1 great in the marketplace. that pple look up to u for ur wisdom, ur knowledge.

it is only when i grew up, that i learn, what did pst mean by ur life changes only when ur thinking changes.

Lord, help me put on ur mind everyday.

help me to have a heart after you.

help me to love like u do.

help me to have a hunger like Jesus has.

i wan to love u more more more than ever before.

i wan to be more in love with u more than ever before.

i wan the Holy Spirit. so much.

感觉还蛮痛的
最讨厌的应该是尽心去做一件事 却不得要领
有时候感觉
因为某件事情的发生
世界好像要垮下来了
但是
常常这么想
从另一个角度
things r really not so bad..

so when u learn to look at it from a different perspective.
when u learn to let go n let God

而当你知道 不管发生什么事
he is in control.

everything will be ok.

n i love you Lord for that very assurance. (((:

random n goong.

i dunno how it happened. but i felt in love with goong. i m not supposed to, i guess, but i jus could not really help it. it jus happened one day. anyway i m so glad that i have finished watching it after endless sleepless nights of looking at shin goon. hahaha.

我猜想
每个女孩的心里都有一个属于她的童话故事
而每个女孩都期待自己的白马王子
但是你又会发现
戏里面你能看到的信
或许在真实的世界里
是不会出现的

but anyway. it is over. although i m still in love with shin goon. haha.

everytime u climb to mountain top, u can expect to see a valley?

i m still learning to get used to hall life. it's not too bad now, after i brought my hifi in. i realise i cant live without music. i rather have some weird dj toking to me den to be reading in sheer silence. scary.

but i think i really love the privacy of my room. n hall enables me to sleep n eat alot. but i hate it when there is no hot water for my bath!!! haha. lame right but ya.

i m really gonna mug this time round. jus taught the pple in cg last wk abt how.. when u lay down ur life for God, u enter into a covenant relationship with him, then He will gather all of heaven to empower u to succeed. i thot this is how i m feeling right now.

thank u Jesus.

thank You for being so gracious, for forgiving the things that i have done.

thank You for letting me know that in every valley, u r there.

thank You for giving me hope.

thank You for ur blessing, for empowering me to succeed.

and thank You that u made me. (:

love ya.

无可救药

暗戀是一種禮貌
暗地裡蓋一座城堡
然後再當你的警衛跑腿跟小貓
隨時你要我重灌電腦
隨時你要我隨傳隨到買麵包 雞排跟水餃
你每次對著我笑
你的笑裡面有毒藥
我看著你出了神還丟掉了解藥
可能你從來沒感覺到
最好你永遠感覺不到
愛上你 越來越無可救藥
一天一天越來越無可救藥
一生一次愛你到無可救藥
我 才慢慢體會到
幸福是被愛的人需要
一天一天越來越無可救藥
一生一次愛你到無可救藥
我 才狠狠決定要
就愛吧就醬吧就不逃
愛你到無可救藥

-阿信-

he is cool. ha.

i need to get in touch with my soul n emotions.

free me.