Thursday, June 15, 2006

i love my boss!

i just started a new job this week. n i love it! because my boss is simply great. (: he is such a nice boss. haah.

although the job is really a little bit boring, haah, becos u call the pple n say the same things to them like over 100 times a day, (sounds boring right), but like wad i said in the previous post, the experience's great. esp the training. this is the first time i understood insurance n i m a bit convinced that insurance is not bout cheating money. haah. wad a BIG prejudice i have isnt it? haah.

but totally i managed to clinch 3 appointments.. n today was kinda interesting. haah. like this guy.. when i tell him we have an investment programme that is risk free.. then he tell me.. there is no such thing as risk free investment. he says if it is risk free den it is not investment. den he say oh then i will have to end the conversation becos u said the wrong thing. n man m i glad to.. haaah. it was really interesting.. n tdy i tried to sell insurance in mandarin to this very interesting guy.. haah.

i enjoyed myself. though half of the time i was a bit bored. n my boss will tell me to take a break.. go msn.. pack up earlier n dun work so hard. haah. amazing isn't it? i love my boss. gee.

that is it..

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

working

i m supposingly hard at work now. other than tons of things i learnt yest during training, tdy's was kinda boring n brainless. but well.. temp job so u cant expect much. but i did learn quite a bit of stuff. about insurance n investment n things like that. n i m happy..

i surely hope that i will be fruitful.. haah. (:

Monday, June 12, 2006

i feel like blogging

everytime i start blogging, i will type wad i wan to say. and den suddenly i will jus feel like not continuing anymore. n that is y u will realise that i will say some stuff n stop saying anymore.

after emerge, in this entire week, many things got me thinking. plenty plenty of things. i started to ask myself again wad issit that i wan. u noe i was jus telling some frens, that i m a person that cant lead a meaningless life. i jus cant. if one day i wake up not noeing y i m doing the things i m doing, i will get really frustrated. and sometimes i feel lost n confused. but i hate feeling lost n confused! i hate not knowing where i m going n wad i going to do. i hate not being in control. but i also learn..

he is in control. that when i cannot see His hand, i can trust his heart.

我需要斗志。我需要继续战斗的力量。我需要必胜的信心。

you.. you r the God who will save
cling on to all that u say

let me do that Lord.

你的肩膀。何耀珊

那些日子
當你不在我身邊
那些感受不到你的日子
整個世界都不對
我以为我已经失去了全世界
還能這樣安靜的和你依偎
能在你的怀中
受過的苦都無所謂
是我一辈子的幸福

進進退退 我們之間
故事有點迂迴
轟轟烈烈 哭過幾回
從來沒有後悔
当初选择了你,我永远不会后悔。

依靠著你的肩膀
有風的味道也有雨的滄桑
躺在你的胸怀,让我感到多么坚强
為我去過了遠方
你带我到世界尽头
還好愛是我最固執的地方
還好再長的夜總是會天亮
我知道隧道之后一定有曙光
我終於等到你回來身旁
你一定会在我身旁
愛就是你的肩膀
你的肩膀就是我的坚强
能負擔我的所有快樂悲傷
相信你許下的願望
相信你的每个话语
一輩子的時間那麼的漫長
何必在乎當初寂寞多荒涼
你说不管发生什么事
我們的幸福會在下半場
你一定会为我写下漂亮的后来

Sunday, June 11, 2006

loving Him

tdy i heard an astounding news. was shocked. totally. but it made me think. ting, how much do u love Him?

if the day comes when u lose everything, and all that is left is Him, wad will happen to u? will u be like king david who says, i will rather be a doorkeeper in the hse of God?

i wan to love You Lord. help me Jesus nv to stop loving You, never to stop laying my life at ur altar. let that day nv come.. that i love sth else more than You. i cant bear leaving u in my life.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

for you a thousand times over

Monday, June 05, 2006

did u ever feel like ..

我想投身在一个虚拟的世界。我只想活在电视剧情,精彩作者的情节里,我没有勇气面对现实生活。

现实的挑战太多,勇气太少。
承诺太多,实现太少。
失望太多,希望太少。

我真的还可以吗?

真的吗?

希望这不是另一次的遐想。。

Monday, May 29, 2006

hiding place

i love this song.

I FIND YOU AT THE SECRET PLACE
I FIND YOU ON THE MOUNTAIN
I FIND YOU IN THE EARLY HOURS OF MY DAY

I FIND YOU WHEN I’M WAITING
I FIND YOU WHEN I’M IN YOUR WORD
I FIND YOU WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU WHEN I PRAY

CREATE IN ME A CLEAN HEART
AS I COME AWAY WITH YOU
WASH AWAY ALL OF MY STAINS
AND RESTORE TO ME THE JOY
I HAVE IN YOU

YOU’RE MY HIDING
YOU’RE MY HIDING PLACE
YOU’RE MY HIDING
YOU’RE MY HIDING PLACE

Thursday, May 25, 2006

4e outing

i was so glad that at the end of the day some of us managed to go. (: and see, haha, it is not so difficult after all. n i do think we shld n need to get tog after so long. and the nicest surprise was to see ms andriany.

tdy we had a mini 4e gathering. me, lim yang, minyi, minling, meizhen, samuel and timothy. i think the rare guest was timothy? haha. i seldom remember seeing him. but now that he is single.. haah. i guess he is more free? haah.

samuel drove me back together with timothy. n suddenly sitting in the car, seeing a fren i knew for ages driving like a man, and all these pple r no longer boys in blue pants, suddenly it sunk into me that we r all grown up. i m almost an adult, although i really hate to admit it. that when i was younger, i would look at pple who r now my age and think wad's their life like. n now i m experiencing it for myself. i guess it is amazing. n all the more i felt, xiaoting u need to treasure ur life.

on another note, it was a beautiful thing seeing everybody. to get tog after 4 yrs, talking bout our past. and i felt this.. i m forced to grow up! haah. before i noe it, i will be out of uni working.

though many things have changed, some things nv changed. haah. like how they will tease and make fun of the same things, like timothy and ***.. haaah. it is just like the good old times. man.. God, thank u for memories. and thank u for frens.

n somebody i felt like he really changed is samuel. haah. if u r seeing this, hi! but i felt like frm a person who was fun-loving and stuff, to now being a person who noes wad he wants, who is really doing it and stepping into it, really made me wake up from reality. pple r different. and i wan to live my life to the fullest, sowing into my destiny and my future.

beautiful day. thank u Lord. wake me up!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

i feel like unloading everything out here, but i cant. but i feel kinda suffocated with everything in me. i need to unwind everything that is within me. i felt like i woke up being whacked by the devil left right up down centre. sometimes i feel like telling God i dun feel like playing anymore. sometimes xiaoting feels like throwing in the towel. sometimes i jus cant seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. sometimes i jus dun feel like being strong. sometimes i jus need a fren, with skin on. sometimes i feel like lying in bed n stare at my ceiling and jus let the world rotate without touching me. sometimes i jus cant muster enough faith to do wad i need to do. oh sometimes sometimes

great men n women r not those who do not have lousy days, but those that despite their lousy days and feelings and circumstances, they held on the God, held on to their faith. den i pray i will one day be a great woman of God. gee.

Monday, May 22, 2006

以前当我看着别人过着高调的生活,心中总有无限的渴望与向往。我常想,如果当年没有遇到他,我今天或许会是一个流连酒吧,过着疯狂日子的女生,因为认识我的人都知道,我真的有这种疯狂的潜能。更或许,我会在某一个世界的角落,做一些很荒唐的事,如果不是他,我真的或许不会继续呆在这里。因为他是我的磐石,坚定不移,让我不再过着无根的日子。我有一个家,所以我不再任性,叛逆,我行我素。

记得在华初那年,陈老师要我们每个星期交出一篇创作。起初我是兴致勃勃,但过了一阵子,那创作的灵感却不常到来,而现在,我却好想继续写字。哈哈。我不止一次说过,我好喜欢文字。

不知道我自己是不是因为守在这个岗位里,而失去了很多。常看别人的生活,有时候也希望自己可以这样。但是,我知道,为了他,错过这一切是值得的。我爱他因为他先爱我。而为了这一个“爱”字,错过的是值得的,得到的更是无法计算。

晓亭的人生是美丽的。谢谢你。

Thursday, May 18, 2006

anyway. jus recounting a few things that happened. been busy with pos and it is jus a great joy to be back. hope that we will do well this year.

tried doing surveys on the street the past few days. i almost died! but for the money i m still continuing tml. God save me man.. give me an amiable face. haah. but it is really tough.

pst phil came last sun. gave a great msg. i m blown away. n i m coming up! to another level in prayer. i just need the leading of the holy spirit more n more.

and we had a great time on tues in the presence of the Holy Spirit. back to that first love.

thoughts

i love it when the Holy Spirit is there, touching me. (: was at home tdy and had a great time in the presence of God. was reading songs of solomon n i was so touched by it.

God loves me a lot and He loves u a lot isnt it?

but He is looking n seeking for one whose heart is completely His.

i wan to be found by Him.

God forgive me for the times i neglected u, for the times that other things were impt than u. bring me back to that place of wholeheartedness.

i want to love u.
it is amazing how God lets u into His presence so closely. it is simply amazing how u can worship Him and love Him n be so close to Him.

wad a priveilege to be a worshipper of the Most High.

we often forget that.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

MI3

Today i watched MI3 with chan eng. the first movie in many weeks or months. (i can't recall, really) If not for her, i think i would really not have watched this show. The next time they rate it, they should rate it like only for 40 and below or sth, cos u will have a heart attack watching it. (ok, i m exaggerating. (: )

but! it was really scary! haah. i think scary is not the word, i can't find the right word for it. but it is definitely not for weak hearts. as for me, i think i m not a person who will be able to stay through scenes that torture people mentally, emotionally and physically. gee.. i just think it is torturous! really.. it is probably worse than those HK triad society movies..

after all the negative comments, it is not such a bad movie. if u r a person who likes action, u really will like it. I m still amazed ever since watching things like matrix and minority report by the creativity and imagination of people. though MI3 is not as imaginative, that kind of technology that appears in the movie still amazes me. wonder where do all the scientists get their ideas? u dun have to look furthur. haha. probably this is really how they get their inspirations.

but i m still scared out of my wits. haah.

on another note, i m looking forward to them playing Mission Impossible this fri when pst phil comes. ((:

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

things in order

just felt like i need to get things in order. i dunno wad is that order, but things feel like they r not in order.

i love fellowshipping with people who love the Lord and give their lives to God. and i pray that God will raise up a generation like that for Him.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

boy. i have been blogging an awful lot nowadays. but i m enjoying it! haah. my hols r here n it is high time to enjoy myself. gee.

有一天
你会找到属于你的
属于你的那片天空
以及那灿烂笑容
还有
只有属于你的那个眼神

而现在
你可做的
就只是
耐心。。等待

waiting for elections results! woo hoo!
"have i told u i love u?"

"no"

"i love u"

"still?"

"always"

Friday, May 05, 2006

读了伊能静的blog,让我真的爱上文字。希望我可以一直写,一直写出非常漂亮的文章。

文字是一样很奇怪的东西。我们所说的竟然可以和所写的截然不同。我们可以用那么扣人心弦的文字来表达心里一滴,一滴的感觉。

一连两天参加两个人民行动党的大会。我好像变成他们的支持者了。哈哈。这次的选举大受瞩目,也是我第一次真正去了解新加坡的政坛是怎么一回事。不管是行动党,还是反对党,都说得振振有词,但是,他们以的一切言谈举止,却让我认为,我们还差第一世界政府,第一世界反对党,第一世界国家还很远。惨了,说了这些话明天是否会被告诽谤?

在这样的一个竞争下,人的缺点都慢慢被暴露出来。还好大选的日子并不久,要不然,更糟糕的都会出现。chaneng说每个国家的政治大概都是这样的吧,他们都会撤别人的后腿,可是我真的认为这样的一个选举可以反映出一个人的人格及修养,在对待不同的问题时,他们有多少内涵则会一目了然。

到此为止。改天再说。

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I wanna live my life to the fullest!

use every minute that i have. to build His kingdom! let's live our lives for God!

lazy blogger

i m such a lazy blogger. ha. i think partly wad jg said bout my blog is true. jus not realli bothered to write out my life n stuff. anyway.

exams r... unofficially over! haah. one last paper to go, and like wad pan lao shi said, the preparation for it is to sleep well! yay! i like that!

this period of exams was so loooong and tedious. realli. 艰辛。非常。每一次要把考卷做完都要有很大的意志力,多么想半途就走出去。哈哈。

but it has been a good weekend. God spoke to me thru pst ulf, thru pst mark, thru the pple in jc cluster, thru sis yilun, thru pst yk. it was like the same word jumping out in my face for dunno how manytimes. thank u Jesus. for the encounters, for the word u given, for the passion u put in, for using me.

now about after the exams.

this is wad im gonna do.

1. find work n earn money.
2. master guitar
3. read.. a lot a lot alot. eng lish n chinese n wad have u.
4. study the Bible.
5. have fun.
6. go overseas somehow. haah.
7. slumber parties?
8. play pool? i think i will do that.

i m so hungry now. gg off. buaix!

Sunday, April 30, 2006

thank u!

thank u jc cluster!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tdy toking to u guys at expo and on the train.. den i realise i realli miss all of u alot! realli miss the times we tok and spend time tog.. thank u for being such a blessing!

and i was looking for the answer for sth.. and u guys gave it to me while toking to me!! God gave me a revelation out of our conversation..

thank u!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

slping

it is amazing how i can slp for hours in the midst of my exams. but now when im sick n down with a flu, i dun seem to be slpy at all. gee.

rantings.

i have tons of thoughts running thru my mind but nothing is realli clicking n working. stop pushing the buttons xiaoting.

as i have always said, and i probably shld say less of this. i love to think. and at some point of my life, i will always look at my life and think. wad issit that i wan? on some nights i will lie on my bed, staring n stoning, asking myself, ting.. wad do u wan?

it is so amazing how God works in beautiful ways. God teach me to believe u for the BEST things.

was just reading my sis' thesis. realised sth that we realli have a lot in common. it is amazing how both of us grew up in entirely different envts yet both of us grew up with a big love for chinese. and she was writing a thesis bout some movies bout WW2. and the bigger coincidence is. she loves history just like me. man. when i was reading that thingy.. i felt so... dunno how to describe.

right now, i m left with 2 papers. n i feel so relaxed. yet i dun feel like sticking mysself in front of the tv. i realli kinda hate it. nor do i wan to sit infront of this com the whole night. and i keep asking myself. xt. wad do u wan for ur future.. for ur life???

u noe wad? this is wad i wan.

i wan to live my life the way God wants me to live it.
i wan to see my dreams n visions coming to pass.
i wan my cg to breakthru.
i wan to live every single min of my life to the fullest.
i dun wan to waste my life away!!! i cant stand that!
i wanna gain more knowledge, noe more things.
i wanna make more disciples for Him.

God fill me fill me fill me!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Rules: Bold the following that are true about you, italicize things you wish were true, add one true thing about you, and then tag five more people.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch much TV these days.
I love olive rice.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I've watched porn movies. (eugh no)

I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I hate the rain.
I'm paranoid at times.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have fresh breath in the morning.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way that I look.
I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
I know how to cornrow.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I think prostitution should be legalized.
I think Britney Spears is pretty.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal. (or Blog)
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in (a) God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I currently like someone.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
I have tried alcohol or drugs before.(1 mouth of beer?)
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbour or chum.
I enjoy some country music.
I would die for my best friends
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I watch soap operas whenever I can.
I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I like surveys/memes.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.
I am punk rockish.
I am preppy.
I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
I believe in prophetic dreams.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient on a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I am adopted.
I like sausage.
I am a pyro.
I love the Red Sox.
I have thrown up from crying too much.
I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colors.
I love Dear Abby.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I think school is awesome.
I think pigtails serve a purpose.
I don't know why I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I don't like multi-textured ice cream.
I think John Cusack is adorable.

I watch Food Network way too much.
I love coaching youth sports.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I would not be friends if they weren't family.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know who Santos L. Halper is.
I read trashy romance novels and I am ashamed.
I love wrestling.
I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
I'm an artist.
I have a goal to collect every Johnny Depp movie ever made.
I have an unhealthy Taco Bell obsession.
I have had a crush on a cartoon character when I was a kid.
I have spent more on anime and manga than many spend on computers or other high end products.
I only clean my room when neccesary.
Weight is my enemy!
I'm a serious chocoholic.
I absolutely adore animals.
I love surprises.
I love to be seen.
I often act without feeling for people.
I like arguing for the sake of arguing.
I think most girls look better with spectacles.
My skin is peeling because i had been under the sun.
I want to ORD.
I wish i can be all that i wan to be, do all that i want to do.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

as soon as i set my heart upon it, i felt him pressing nearer.

no weapon formed against me shall prosper. amen.

Monday, April 17, 2006

easter sunday

easter came. n easter left. i always look forward to every easter. n this yr.. once again, they used peter and judas. and i always liked the story of peter. of his repentance. he always reminds me that though i m imperfect, God can still use me. and that story of reconciliation nv fails to move me to tears.

God loves me! and i m incredibly grateful for that. God touched me! and i m eternally appreciative of that. God changed me! and words cant express my love for Him. He did so many things in my life and He is still doing. (:

Daddy, thank u for loving me when i feel unloved.
Thank u for believing in me when i could not believe in myself.
Thank u for giving me the strength n courage to move on.
Thank u for forgiving me when i felt so dirty with sin.
Thank u for telling me "ger it is okie"
Thank u for being there for me each time.
Thank u for not giving up on me though i made so many mistakes.
Thank u for my destiny n calling in u.
Thank u for dying for me 2000 yrs ago. on Good friday.

and for that, my life is urs, to take, to use, to teach how to live.

i exchange it for sth more.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

random thoughts.

jus to blog some stuff before i go off.

dun ask me y. i jus felt like it was an eventful week though nothing much happened. this week exam started. it was good n it was okie. dun ask me wad i m saying. i realise that i m a person who loves people, but at the same time, i m...

i guess this is wad tat really bothers me right now. yest, i heard somebody say take care to me and that warmed my heart. tdy something took place over lunch table and my heart smiled.

my heart takes joy in little things like that, yet my heart will also ... at the little things. certain things may seem insignificant, or seem like nothing.. but i dunno, if i can go back to where i was before. can i or can i not? shld i, or shld i not?

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

追逐梦想

我要一直追求我的梦想。一直走下去。刚看了超级星期天,看到老师如何鼓励爱沙要一直走下去,实现她的梦想。我知道,我一定要认定自己的目标。一直走下去。不管周围发生多大的事,我都不轻言放弃。

不要轻言放弃,否则对不起自己。-MVP

girl, u can do it. no matter wad they say. and wad happen. u can n u will.

fun!

last sunday, for the first time in many months, i was in town playing. haah. now i sound like a kid? playing? question mark.. haah. but anyway i was in town with my members. and i had such a great time. i came home feeling like it's been a long time since i enjoyed myself like that. (: n pool is fun.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

it is saturday again.

i think i said it before that saturday is a blogging day. n yep it is. here i m back blogging again. xiaoting loves toking. dun u think so?

this week certain things happen. n once again trials that come my way. with trials that also came a revelation. i need to rise up n overcome these things once again. i m an overcomer.

the last week we met sun a lot of times! n i m so excited. woke up at 5am on fri morning to go send her off. n i m awfully glad that i did. love ya lots sun n going to miss u alot.

n on wed night sillily rushed to tm to watch v for vendetta n missed out on 15 mins of the show. it is such an impt 15 mins! haah.

n i really did study quite a bit this week. great improvement. haah. hopefully n prayerfully i will be ready for my exams. jia you ger.

things may not turn out the way u wan it. but that doesnt always mean it is a bad thing. God is in control.

Friday, March 31, 2006

i m falling in love..

with blogging n history. haah. jus had my last chinese lecture yest. it was a blast! i really really like my chinese history tcher. so very much. yest i jus had a revelation. n i think it was the Holy Spirit who told me. that i m studying in china right now, i probably will not get this kind of history lesson. which i totally agree.

i was jus so excited and so stirred up by wad lan lao shi say n honestly, i think this is wad God wants me to know. and it might jolly well as sth to do with my calling. i m sooooo interested in cultural revolution. it is like such an interesting part of history. wad will the development of China be 3 yrs frm now when i get out of NTU? will it be the top country in the world tog with US or will it even overtake US to be the superpower in this earth? i cant imagine the kind of prospects that lie in China n i love China!

lan lao shi asked a question.. wad issit that can solve the problems in China? back from the 19th century, there were already many problems in China and all the different political figures who came up did not solve her problems. who n wad will? somehow in my heart i already have the answer. and somehow in my mind i already see the vision. yahoo!

Thursday, March 30, 2006

excited!

i got all excited over a chess game n adrenaline is still pumping. amazing huh.. haah. i played chess for 2 hours n i m so excited now!

Monday, March 27, 2006

pay positive attention.

by phil pringle

The key to growing anything is to pay it positive attention.
'Pay' The price is time. Make time for the highest priorities-like your children, your spouse.

'Positive' Give attention to the positives. Don't be hijacked by the negatives which can so easily claim our attention.

'Attention' Give undistracted attention to the person. Turn off the TV, the cell phone, put down your pen, the book and look them in the eye. Listen, hear what they're saying. Connect.

Friday, March 24, 2006

我讨厌无理取闹!

在很迟钝的情况下,我有个惊人的发现,晓亭讨厌无理取闹。真得很讨厌。讨厌人家为了没有原因的原因发脾气,讨厌人家不好好把事情解释清楚,讨厌人家为了莫名的原因大作文章。

就一个早上,不知不觉听着cheryl的歌,我哭了。总觉得人走到一个阶段,需要滴下一些眼泪,让自己发泄一下,才懂得下一步要怎么做。现在晓亭正想这么做。。

有时我喜欢自己不停的忙着。。自己才不会想这么多。。

读了许怀良的访问。。莫名的感动。

看了“活着”,莫名的激动。。

上了蓝老师的课,莫名的共鸣。。

坐在这里。。 莫名的。。 莫名的。。 莫名的。。

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

my 200th entry

it is abnormal that i m blogging 2 times in a day. but i really enjoy writing, typing and what-have-u.

had a really good time reading my senior's blog. n i think this is an area in which helen n i r really alike, we love to discover and noe how pple think, esp those that r deemed as "intelluctual", in which we begin to be inspired by the things that they write. well, i was reading and was really enjoying myself until i came to a part, in which he started to say some stuff that disturbed me. and i stopped.

i feel like i m sitting in front of my com, knowing that i have tons of workload behind me, n i m supposed to do them, yet my mind is blank, but i m jus trying to conjure sth out. the truth hurts they always say. n i suspect i feel this way cos i had a revelation of the truth. not that i dunno wad to do. i think i do, but the truth still hurts.

ever wondered y u have frens? sometimes one of the things that i m most afraid of is human relationships. becos it is sth that is so unpredictable, it can bring u sky high, and cause u to fall valley low. sth i learn as a human being for yrs is --- pple do let u down. sad but real fact.

i used to think that i m strong, courageous but at times i beg to differ. and this is one of the times that i cant agree.

God strengthen my heart.

be careful bout the things u say, the attitude u have towards others. becos u can hurt them, before u noe it.
my mind is filled.. with so much "what-have-u"s. our world is so fallen.. humans r so carnal.

a lot of times i wished that whatever i m thinking up there, feeling in there, it will jus automatically transformed itself into words then appear here. gee. and probably i will not be so weighed down by them anymore.

ever hoped that life will slow down so that u can take a breather? i did. n i m still hoping. but it is not gonna happen i noe.

sorry guys i noe my entry sounds so big-time pessimistic and depressing.. and many would say.. ger this is so unlike u.

n it is! haah. but i will always conclude. no matter how tough things r in my life, how matter wad kind of discouragements or challenges i go thru, i noe He is here, walking with me.

walking walking walking.. n when i cant walk anymore. He carries me. and becos of that guys..

life is beautiful. *muackz*

Monday, March 20, 2006

i like adriano!

suddenly i feel so happy. although i really haven done much. muaahaha. i m a happy happy happy girl.. (:

Sunday, March 19, 2006

a nice chat

it's been some time since i last blogged i think. and i always blog on saturdays i realise. saturdays r thinking days. acty thru'out the week there r many times i feel like blogging, but whenever i sit in front of the monitor, i will feel so tired that i dun really wan to try. and now.. i shall start blogging again.

i think i m realli a thinker. haah. as in i love to think. i do.. and i jus had a nice little chat with some nice pple and it evokes a lot of thought in me.

i love God. cos He is realli amazing and recently when i m jus thinking bout my life, i realise that i realli have grown a lot. and that was wad meiyan said will happen to me.. and i did. and i think being a cgl is really one of the best things that has happened in my life. i love it when God uses me to impact the lives of others.. that is one of the greatest joy i have being a cgl. to see my members growing, loving God more, being more committed, changed by the glory of God, seeing pple getting saved.. man.. i love my life.

jus reali wan to appreciate God for wad He is doing thru me. the great things. thank u Jesus

Thursday, March 09, 2006

现实与理想

刚做完一个哲学的presentation,晓亭松了一口气,真的好开心,而且感觉很有满足感。但是,美中不足的是,现实与理想仍然是有差距的。

常觉得在我的生活里,在许多方面,总觉得理想与现实有个差距。想实现的,往往感觉目标太遥远,但是昨天在和朋友谈天时,又想到以前从瑞典的一个牧师说过,everything u see with ur physical eyes is subject to change. 有时感觉以前的我太消极,太沮丧。从今我要以另外一种角度去看待我的生活,相信-- 现实是可以符合理想的。

smith wigglesworth always say -- only believe.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

i need You Holy Spirit.

more than ever before.

teach me how to live.

and how to lead.

to not do it on my own.

but by Your strength, power n might.

Teach me LORD.

Teach me.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

从来都没有想过文字是我的专长,但是我却羡慕那些能挥洒自如的朋友。刚看了康熙来了。这电视节目是我很欣赏的一个, 我总觉得它没有其他的综艺节目来的肤浅,而我喜欢它带给我的启发。

今天上节目的是伊能静,而今天的节目也给了我很多感触。当我在听着康永念着她的书时,有一种默默的感动。她所使用的文字很美。文人常常会喜欢咬文嚼字,她并不是这样。那一段话捕捉的是一种淡淡的感觉,带有一些神秘色彩,但却让人感到真实,仿佛身临其境。

我好希望有一天我能这样的写出我人生的经历,虽然现在如我所希望,在中文系上课,但是因为生活有时会有些枯燥乏闷,我开始把读华文当作是理所当然,也开始不懂得如何去发掘它的美。理想与现实往往都有个距离,但是相信他的好处是,他能让理想成为现实。

人生是不是一系列的失败,爬起来,学习,成功,再失败,再爬起来,再成功?

人生是很美丽的。

Sunday, February 19, 2006

十八岁的天空

我真得很喜欢看这部戏。非常非常喜欢。十八岁的天空。连名字都取得好好好好听。

看了这部戏有种甜滋滋的感觉。看着一个个十八岁的少年,如何走出叛逆的时期,如何为一个目标奋斗,如何学会达成梦想,让我好怀念穿制服的日子,也让我蠢蠢欲动,打起当老师的念头。

我喜欢古越涛!哈哈

我很喜欢这部戏里给人满足的感觉。人生是美好的,值得憧憬的,是给予人无限幻想的。而不管你是谁,都有做梦与去追求梦想的权利。我要过这样的生活。((((:

Saturday, February 18, 2006

it is so xiaoting...

it is so xiaoting that frm time to time i will start to think n to dream. i cant deny the fact that we live in a fallen world! haah. i always like how sheryl blogged in her blog.. let's see if i will ever manage to write sth so well.

there was once a little ger.... who hated herself, hated the world ard her, and hated everything. she felt sad n most of the time she despised herself.

one day her prince charming came, swept her off her feet and assured that she is everything he is made for. he loved her with all of his heart, n of cos she did too. she loved him so much...

but she realli could not believe that this man loved her. to her, she is so ugly, so not worthy of his love. how can an ugly duckling like her be tog with a man so perfect?

and she decided to run away. from him n frm his love. she could not bear to live in his arms and she felt so inadequate.

thank God this prince charming did not give up on her but loved her to the end. he wooed her... to the ends of the earth. and he made a promise, i will nv nv nv nv let u go. even if u were to run to the ends of the earth, i will be there.

sometimes she feels lost, confused, as if all this is not real, but his appearance assured her that there is really hope on earth. she is not hopeless, she is not destinied for failure, becos of him, everything is going to be so okie. n no matter wad happened, she knew deep in her heart that this man will be there for her.

daddy, a big thank You to u. when hope is gone, You gave me hope. when love is depleted, u put in me the strength to love. teach me how to walk every single day becos u noe that i simply cannot cannot cannot live without You. i dunno how to carry on if You dun show me. i dunno how i can continue walking if u r not there for me.

remind me always that u will write a beautiful story out of my life with a beautiful ending. all is not lost darling.

Friday, February 17, 2006

caring system

was jus thinking bout it. think God has realli been speaking to me thru different means n pple about hearing the Word of God. the rhema Word. issit in bible studies or meetings n in reading the Bible, God has been emphasizing on this alot. about hearing the rhema Word. and isnt it true? that we really need to hear from God so that our lives r not one big boring routine that we keep on doing the same thing expecting different results but we noe that whatever we do is a divine Word from God.

i dun wan! jus to live my life in routine every day. i dun wan! jus to do it for the sake of doing it.

i wan to do wad God speaks to me about.

so let us not live our lives in some routine... doing for the sake of doing. let's step out n step into success, into wad God has called us to.

gambathe!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

this is so fun!

hey guys try this! this is so cool i think.. haah.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=s_targazing

Thursday, February 09, 2006

还好我不是新加坡人

我从来都并不认为我是一个爱国主义者。。大家也常说新加坡人并不那么爱国,就当台湾人开始辱骂新加坡人时,我们也并不那么在意。

但是,但我看到龙应台所写的文章的标题时,我不禁感到愤愤不平。读了那篇文章后,更是感到生气,总想说,你凭什么批评我们?我心里其实充满着愤怒,但是我并不想写出不理性的看法,但是我还是很生气!

而我又继续的读他谈到台湾的文化,虽然同样是在批评台湾的文化,在语气上却是那么的不一样。

suddenly i jus could not realli express myself in chinese. shall do it in english instead. i used to kind of despise this place that i live in, thinking that we dun realli have our own characteristics and stuff. but u noe wad? over the yrs i have learnt to appreciate this envt i live in. i used to think of singapore as a place of no achievements, but over the yrs i realise that i m wrong! i used to read the papers and see so many singaporeans being high-achievers overseas.. issit behind the scenes doing graphics, sound and things like that.. and also singaporeans making a name for themselves overseas.. i m so proud of them! and i m loving this place that i m living.. and i m also convinced that we do produce talents! we r not a country n a pple who listen to our government and let our government dictate our lives and decide what we shld do! instead! we are pple who have dreams.. and we live it. pple like royston tan, nickson fong, elim chew, and so many so many other pple that have done our country proud! and seriously, pls dun think that singaporeans r jus a bunch of losers who dun really care bout wad u say bout them. we have international achievements, issit as a country or as individuals.. and we deserve the respect becos we have earned it. and for goodness sake, although we r still pretty repressed as a country, our PAP is really much better than many governements in the world and although i dun agree with them on everything, i m glad that i m a singaporen!!!!!

还好我是个新加坡人!

sorry for this blasting over this really really outdated article. it has really been a long time. haha. but i jus expressing my views.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

having a great time

these few days i realli felt like i had a great time. God was jus speaking to me bout many many things and it is jus so amazing. really excited in my spirit bout wad God is going to do this yr. (:

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

stepping into 2006

tdy will probably be one of the last days in which i really played hard. last few days i think i really set out to play. and i did it. but i really enjoyed my last day of my chinese new yr holiday.

i shld jus summarise the things i did these couple of days.

friday i went back to hc. went shoppping. caught the last episode of love concierge.

sat went tm to shop for a while n bought a lovely top. da sao chu (not realli la) and reunion dinner.

sunday went bai nian and at night caught i not stupid too midnight.

monday went out studying and came back studying (acty i din accomplish much) n watched geisha.

n i shld i think comment on geisha. but i m too tired. haha.

tdy went out n went 61 gathering.

and i m so happy i went. we had such a good time jus toking bout the good OLD times. it is really so funny. haah. i laughed so so so hard abt all the silly things that happened. i think i have to stop it if not i will continue to comment.. i miss hc. haah. but it is really amazing cos so much happened in 2 yrs. i really treasure those memories of hc.. times when u really have classmates n good frens n everybody jus bond with everybody. i think it is difficult to do that in uni.

and like wad biao said, we r really different. as in our class is really special. we r like no other. we r so nonsensical and lame, and what's more, our lameness is so out of the world! haah. other than the 61ders, nobody will get n understand our jokes. normal pple wun laugh. realli. haah. i really suggest that we write a song called 我们这一班。

u will realise that everyone of our classmates has sth special. their own 特征. n that is like so interesting cos each one of us is so unique n we r so different but yet we come tog as one. i love it! haha. i love it when we laugh at things that r not really so funny.. i love it when we r lame.. i love it when we come tog n jus tok nonsense.. haha. i love it when we r noisy.. and we r. and according to the guys, the 4 of us r super noisy and always distract them during tutorials!!!! haha. i din realise that until tdy i think. wad a revelation. haha.

and 61 is jus such an interesting class with such interesting characters in it.. wei biao.. wun u write a book abt us and publish it pls?? call it.. 我们这一班。haha. pls pls.. let this inspire u! haha.

i had so much so much fun. thanks guys for such a wonderful time. love all of u. and i love 61 too! haha.

Monday, January 30, 2006

i not stupid too

jus came back frm watching "i not stupid too". i was nv a big fan of jack neo, but after reading some of the movie critics, i decided to give it a try.

n i was pretty impressed n amazed i mus say.

the show had the usual stuff.. humour and all. the usual literary devices.. but what is new is really the theme inside. it had a central theme n i mus say, the film has said all that it wanted to say and shld say.

i guess the best part of the movie is really how closely it relates to our lives and how real it is. and that is jack neo. the films that he has made? he has taken it straight out of our lives. maybe some of us might feel that it is too dramatic.. but i have got to admit, certain scenes there r scenes that i have witnessed myself.

and i cried buckets. i cried so hard that when i came out, my eyes were all red n puffy and i used up the entire packet of tissue and it was not enuff. in case u dunno me, i m a person who is moved by family stories and also how pple overcome obstacles, not so much of the lovey-dovey romances.

although i think that it was a bit too much to put so many of that current issues and stick all of them tog, but i still felt that jack neo did a great job. it was not a superficial film, sth that would cause u to think.. and maybe, even have an effect on ur life. and to me, that is success for a film maker already.

i would recommend all to watch, probably get the vcd and watch it with ur parents. it will be a rewarding time i think.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

happy chinese new year.

happy 2006 again! haah.

yest i had a fruitful day, though tiring, going back to hwa chong n also going shopping.

interestingly, the route to hc seemed so long yesterday. i nv could understand y a 40-min ride seemed realli like eternity. but as i sat there, though now different, instead of wearing a brown uniform, i was wearing a skirt n nice shoes, looking nice with makeup on going to sch.

but i treasured every moment of it during the ride n nothing much seemed to have changed. sth changed though. smu is no longer there. ha. but serene centre n coro is so much so much the same. n i savoured every moment of it. stepping into hc, u feel so familiar yet so strange. 即熟悉又陌生的感觉。oh n i forgot to mention, the one thing that really felt strange was passing the sign that said Hwa Chong Institution instead of Hwa Chong Junior College. sorry tat i still cant get over it.

however, somehow this yr felt so much quieter. only the few of us. i kind of miss the 热闹of 61. there were so few of us yest. but! we were still as noisy as ever. haah. when we were in the lep staff room, the room was jus filled with our voices with biao covering his ears trying to stop da bian frm screeching into his ear. jus kidding. haah. and i cant forget the scene that at crystal jade, all of us started toking at the same time. it seemed like we cant get enough of talking and we had to talk. haah. it was realli funny and i guessed we were really noisy.

lep staff room felt different with onli yu n wang lao shi. i missed the familiar faces. and guess wad? the best compliment of the day was wang lao shi's comment b4 i left hc. he said...

i m becoming more n more like an ah lian. can u believe it? my eyes nearly popped out. seriously i felt pretty insulted. haa. but, thank God 我看得开。hee. it is okie la but it was realli kind of a funny comment. me becoming more n more ah lian and he also commented -- becoming more n more of the chionging/ chiongster type. not like our chionging as in clubbing. but more of like happening i shld say.. but seriously.. xiaoting ==> ah lian?? haah.

i guess it shld be a compliment. hee. ah lians r pretty right? haah. and after that we had a fab lunch with chow n teo. crystal jade on chow. aint that sweet? i think helen will die of jealousy. haah. hope u r reading this gal. n chow is as funny as ever but also as intelligent n deep as ever. he is still one of my fav tchers.

and i went shopping. again. yes i can imagine ur face right now. freeze right there! haah. nth much that i bought really, which is a good thing and i came back to catch love concierge. although it is a lame stupid silly romantic comedy, i still enjoy it all the same. haah.

and i guess that is abt it. i m going to slp n also spend some time these couple of days thinking bout my new yr goals. see ya.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

missing u.

i m missing u. who? i dunno. haah. recently thoughts filled my mind n i m back to my thinking mode again. if i live in chun qiu, i may probably be one of the philosophers.

tdy was jus mentioning lep to a fren. and i realise love filled my voice even when i toked abt my precious memories. i cant help but say... i love hwa chong! although things r nv going to be the same anymore, and they r not, i still love this sch that made me feel like i belonged.

i nv knew any other sch that made me stand with pride, saying, i m frm hcjc.

i nv knew any other sch that could move me to tears with pride during the announcement when i hear of their achievements.

i nv knew any other sch that gave me such freedom i felt like i was myself.

i nv knew any other sch that posed such challenge that i m determined to outdo myself each time.

i nv knew any other sch that i could call my second, or should i say third home. (2nd is city harvest!)

i nv knew any other sch that evokes such a patriotic spirit in me.

nope. there is really none like it. i love hwa chong junior college. not instituition.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

You Are a Warrior Soul
You're a strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating.You don't give up. You're committed and brave.Truly adventuresome, you are not afraid of going to battle.Extremely protective of loved ones, you root for the underdog.
You are picky about details and rigorous in your methods.You also value honesty and fairness a great deal.You can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding.You're a hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul
You Are a Warrior Soul
You're a strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating.You don't give up. You're committed and brave.Truly adventuresome, you are not afraid of going to battle.Extremely protective of loved ones, you root for the underdog.
You are picky about details and rigorous in your methods.You also value honesty and fairness a great deal.You can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding.You're a hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul
Your Hair Should Be Pink
Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun.You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

inspired

i just came across a senior's blog. after reading, it jus took me back to what Pst Kong was talking about on Sunday. and somehow, i m inspired to write, and to write beautifully.

i did not always learn to appreciate people who can write beautifully in English, cos in my heart, English somehow seems to be somewhat inferior to my mother tongue. No offence intended. and in my sch uniform days, i always admired those who wrote lovely poems that r so out of the world. in chinese of cos. but somehow, i have also learnt to appreciate this international language for itself. it can be realli beautiful despite it being able to be totally crude too.

Pst once told me, if u can read, u can speak. n that itself builds up ur confidence. it was a revelation to me. and since the end of 2005, writing n thinking have been a shelter, a refuge and i have fallen in love with writing all over again.

i cant help but come back to these thoughts. bout how much humans can achieve. this is sth that i always deeply believed inside of me, that there is so much we can do n achieve that we have not done before.

tdy i saw the bei da pple in ntu. it stirred up sth in me. however, i m jus as determined to make my life in ntu heaven on earth. i have a purpose and i will live it n fulfill it.

word of the day: predilection

Friday, January 20, 2006

sleepless

奇怪的是,我接了一通电话后,无法入眠。我以前很少知道失眠是什么感觉,因为没有多少事物能让我失眠,今夜,我闭上眼睛后,脑袋却不听使唤,以50km/h的速度驾驶,并没有停下来的意思。

而我只好以50words/min的速度,在键盘上打出我的心声。

我常常会看着自己,想想,我是不是做错了,或是什么地方做得不好,我总是对自己的要求很高。难道在对自己要求高的当儿,也不知不觉地对身旁的人有着同样的标准吗?我真的不想只过自己想要的生活,我想要过他要我过的生活,去行他的义。

现实和理想总是有个落差,难怪我们有这套学问叫做expectation management.

突然觉得,许多人认为晓亭常常都很开心,也对,哈哈,我真的是很少愁眉不展,但是欢乐的背后, 不是每个人都能看见的。但是,晓亭还是开心的。因为,我有了这么一个决定,我要过的充实,开心。世上没有打不开的解,也没有解决不了的问题,这是我深信的。在幽谷走着,有一天一定会走出来,看到美丽的太阳,不是吗?

刚才看了一个节目,“青春游走”,被lily goh的热忱感动了。我喜欢这一号人物,不被自己的状况限制,勇敢走出来。她才是我学习的榜样。

新的一年里,我不再沮丧,不再忧伤,因为有他,明天就有希望。

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

painful experience

plucking ur wisdom tooth is a painful experience.

i remember in 1 Cor.. The bible says that every part of my body play a necessary part. now when i jus extract my wisdom tooth, i realli think it is so. jus removing one tooth has cost me so much pain n inconvenience. it is only thru these little things that u start to treasure the things that u have taken for granted. like brushing ur teeth. eating. drinking. haah. these r now so precious to me. and my stomach is growling. but i cant realli eat. haix.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

i jus feel like blogging while i feel like slping at the same time. silly ger.

there r times in my life that i jus feel blissful. this is now how i feel. happy. contented n satisfied.

tdy's service was really good. a powerful msg pst preached bout eternity. i love being in the hse of God.

it is a happy thing that we get to enter a new yr n start life anew. hee. that we can put behind past things n move on n love God.

i still love cs lewis. i m going on to the 4th book of chronicles of narnia.

i love my life love chc love my psts n ldrs and love my cg n love Jesus.

i love serving the Lord.

i love my frens. i love u.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

desires of ur heart

In the Bible, God promises that if u delight urself in the LORD, He will give u the desires of ur heart. well i m glad to say that God did that for me.

i realli wanted to have a break.. to let my mind n emotions rest. n i did. had a wonderful time the past few days resting. n God blessed me in a tremendous way.

kinda of prepared to face the new yr. Just need to soak myself more in His presence.

till then.

Monday, January 02, 2006

chronicles of narnia

tdy watched chronicles of narnia! it is such such a cool show. haah. i m in love with it. n i m convinced that c s lewis is an amazing author. (:

tml is the first day of sch! i m kinda excited bout it.

anyway.. this r my goals for the yr.

1. fix my eyes upon Him no matter wad. that i will look to Him n nothing else.

2. study realli realli hard!

3. have greater faith in myself n in God

4. be a great reader!

5. and many many else that i not gg to put here..

i will work hard for God in this coming yr. tat is the power of focus. i will not allow myself to be distracted. xt jia you!

Sunday, January 01, 2006

happy 2006!

happy new yr! me n ce prayed thru the yr! yay!!

Friday, December 30, 2005

here i m. back again.

okie. i m back again. trying to blog bout some stuff bout this yr. it is realli weird. cos tdy is the 30th of dec n i jus cant feel in any way wanting to think bout my yr again or reflecting on wad happen or wanting to set new goals for the new yr. there r still issues not resolved. gee.

realli. there isnt at all a mood that i m stepping into the new yr.

this yr was a yr full of challenges. i once wondered n thot.. wad issit like to be Pst? when u faced opposition frm the devil all the time. before i became a cgl, my life was still pretty okie. of cos there r challenges here n there. but man.. i dunno wad r challenges until i became a cgl.

this was a yr of ups n downs, highs n lows. but sth that was consistent was that i grew. i realli did. grew to be more mature.. and to quote sis meiyan, she said u will learn to grow stronger emotionally. i did. spiritually i grew. n grew closer to God than i nv did before. well typing it till here.. i realli do feel.. this has been a great yr after all.

many times i will be full of not-so-happiness.. thinking.. huh y is this like this n that like that n stuff.. but suddenly at the end of this yr, i jus realised, instead of being so discontented, i was really thank God for the things in my life. n here is wad i can thank God for...

1. i thank God that this is my 10th yr in chc. n in my 10th yr, he chose to raise me up as a cgl. it has been a priveilege to serve Him, to change lives, to touch lives n to help His people grow. thank you for making me a leader.

2. i thank God for my leaders. for Pst YK and for sis meiyan. for pastor always being so inspiring and motivating. that enable me to always dream bigger dreams for Him. n thank God a dozen dozen lot for sis meiyan. for her wisdom n her advice always. for her listening ear. for her understanding n knowing-me-so-well. for her encouragement when i m down. for jus being my leader n teaching me how to become better. thank God for her.

3. i thank God for my members. for a gp of pple who love God n pple. who nv fail to inspire me n to cheer me on with their love n passion for the lost n their sch. they r one of the greatest pple u can ever lead. no doubt they have their weaknesses.. but yet like Jesus, i will learn to see them thru my eyes of faith. believing that they will be like the 12 disciples, one day, turning their world upside down for God.. and they r already starting to do that.

4. i thank God for frens. for good godly frens. i noe that i can be so noisy n nonsensical at times. but God placed pple in life who love me n put up with me and always there when i feel like i m so alone. thank God for good frens!

5. thank God for the doors He has opened to me. for working in chec. for teaching in AHS n DHS. for going to taiwan with pst YK. those were experiences i treasure frm the bottom of my heart. i have learnt so much this past yr jus by working alone. and my missionary trip was this yr.

6. i thank God for His provision. that God provided for me. always. n He blessed me so that i can be a blessing. and that He brought me to ISrael and opened my eyes to the Holy Land. wad a priveilege.

7. i thank God for growth. that He has grown my cg, brought in pple n changed lives. and we will continue to grow.

8. i thank God for good results. in hwa chong n in ntu. that He has blessed me to do well.

9. i thank God for city harvest and our senior pst. that God has placed me in a great church so that i can do great things for Him. and our pst who loves us so much n sacrificed so much for us. words cannot express my gratitude.

10. one last thing.. i thank God for Him. that He has always been there in my life. He has never left me nor forsook me. jus like He promised. n He is always standing by me, loving me, encouraging me. every time i m down, He will be there to say xiaoting it is okie, u can do it. with me, all things r possible. when i feel lonely, He will be there. saying i m with u always, even to the end of the age.

God, words alone realli cannot express my gratitude towards u. You have been amazing to me. i know that there r times that i let u down, days when i allow the devil to step over me, days o jus refused to get up n move on. but i wan to thank You for believing in me right from the beginning. that You trusted me enough to take care n allowed me to be a shepherd to ur pple. When i m down, u were always there, right by my side, cheering me on. i m who i m tdy becos of You. n i stay standing right here becos of You. all that i have done is not by my own strength. thank You for enabling me.

love ya lots lots lots lots lots. i love You.

last cg meeting of the yr

tdy was my first thanksgiving cg meeting that i took.thank God that the end is always greater than the beginning and i m happy at how the cg ended. it jus feels a bit weird cos this time i m conducting it.this yr it is different. but it was a great great thanksgiving. (: i enjoyed myself totally. frm the games to the cgm to the video and the bbq.

acty i m not realli in a mood to blog. but i really wanna thank my cg. so here u r.

i realli liked the video. came home n watched it n laughed my head off. n yeah i saw that break dance. haah. it was realli hilarious. no kidding. guys thanx for loving me despite those many times u were scolded by me.. and putting up with ur cgl's craziness at times.

i dunno how to continue. too tired. another time maybe.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

xmas is here :)

tdy is the eve of xmas. time realli flies isnt it? tdy is already the 24th of dec. i tend to get realli nostalgic when the end of the yr comes. haah. cos i still cannot get used to the speed of time. it seems to travel faster than light. before u noe it, it has already passed u. kind of eerie isnt it? ni cant believe i have passed my 19-yr-old life n next yr i m 20. it is starting with a 2. i think i better start bucking up n make greater use of my time!

Monday, December 19, 2005

lovely song

BEFORE THE WORLD BEGAN
YOU WERE ON HIS MIND
EVERY TEAR YOU CRY
IS PRECIOUSIN HIS EYES
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

NOTHING YOU CAN DO
COULD MAKE HIM LOVE YOU MORE
NOTHING YOU HAVE DONE
COULD MAKE HIM CLOSE THE DOOR
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

COME TO THE FATHER
THOUGH YOUR GIFT IS SMALL
BROKEN HEARTS BROKEN LIVES
HE WILL TAKE THEM ALL
THE POWER OF THE WORD
THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

this is how God feels towards u.
wun u come to the Father tdy?

Thursday, December 08, 2005

expo!

wow wow wow wow! we had our first meeting at expo tdy! our prayer meeting! it was realli realli cool n exciting! we prayed n prayed n tarried in the presence of God. and it was tremendous! Pst Kong said that he felt like the heavens is breaking! we felt so too! there was jus like a new wave of anointing.. a new thing that God is doing in the church!

i m jus so determined that as an individual n as a cg, we r gg to move up another level too!

Monday, December 05, 2005

and..

and.. this is the place God raised me up to be a cgl! i will nv nv forget how God used these yrs to mould me and to bring me into my calling! thank u Jesus!

and..

and.. this is the place God raised me up to be a cgl! i will nv nv forget how God used these yrs to mould me and to bring me into my calling! thank u Jesus!

we're moving!

yest was the last service in jurong. cant believe it. we have already been there for 4 yrs n now we r moving. i still remember when we were first at jurong. n pst phil said that by the time u get into ur new building, it will be too small for u! n it was realli realli like that. it is jus amazing how God speaks n fulfills His word.

n i still remembered how excited i was bout our new building that i could not slp the night before. thinking bout how we sowed n God raised up a building. n we came in. blown away. flabbergasted. wow. n the bkstore pple were realli excited to have our own store. hee. that we need not have tables anymore. n it was such a big step in faith to have come to jurong west! n we had a victorious victorious cry when we had our first service. from 4 services to 5 den to 6. God is indeed a good God.

n personally, jurong was a place in which God mould me, changed me, renewed me n kept me. i m jus once again so thankful that God kept me n loved me to the very end. i m jus so glad that i still love God n i m still on fire for God than ever before. n for that, i will give God all the praises. i m going to miss that mission statement, that lobby, that bookstore, BUT! more than jus feeling sentimental, there is such an expectancy in the Spirit. becos i noe that God is going to bring us to greater glory. it is time to FOCUS, n to plunder hell n populate heaven.

let's go!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

流泪

我是一个很少会看感情戏而流泪的人。但是今天我破例了!我看了王子变青娃,哇。。 竟然在单均豪的甜言蜜语下落泪了!我为自己的举动真的感到很惊奇。。 没错。:)真是让我自己都感到意外。。 真的。

通常我只会因为一些亲情的戏而哭。。 而且会哭得稀里哗啦。或是在戏里看到一些人坚强的熬过来,才流泪。可这真的算是我第一次听一个男生表白而哭了。是满可笑的。

3 down.2 more to go. the tabernacle

i have 2 more exams to go. yay! :) it is coming to an end soon.

yest went for "the tabernacle" bs. it was so good realli. pastor is amazing and it jus gets better n better each week. i think next week will realli be phenomenal n i cant wait!

i think there were a few things pastor said that realli touched my heart.

the first one is about the fear of the Lord. he said that u will not do anything to grieve the Lord becos u love Him n u respect Him. i jus felt that the fear of the Lord in our lives is so impt. becos we fear the Lord, we will love Him! n we will not do anything to grieve Him, isn't that so?

worship is a bodily attitude. the way u sit, behave simply shows ur attitude towards God. wow.

n we need to have circumcised lips! that we be very careful the things we say, in public n in private. becos God hears...

it is time to move on. from Gilgal to Bethel to Jericho n to Jordan.

Monday, November 14, 2005

random rantings. again.

haha. i m here to jus type into the air. hee. no lah. when i dun feel like thinking i will jus type my way away. hahaa.

yesterday's service was fantastic. n for the dunno-how-many-time, i realli love Pst Ulf. He is jus so incredible n awesome. but i love God even more that He turned up in service like that. wow. it is realli amazing. i remember pst Yock Kiang once said. that ur life tml depends on ur consecration tdy. n yest was realli like a time of consecration. of coming back to the Lord. renewing our passion for Him. n let us never never go far away from the Lord. the higher we go, the more we need to stick so much closer to Him. keep ur heart so close to Him!

n yesterday was Maestro monopoly! i think the pple realli enjoyed themselves n we had great fun too! jus that it was realli tiring that i woke up with muscle aches. haha. but it was great! :)

yup n tat is abt it. tdy's programme is summed up in one word. MUGGING.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

极大的讽刺。。

哈。

当我知道我应该走“华文”这条路时,我本来是蛮开心的。“华文”应该是打从一开始,就在我的血脉流着吧。从小到大,读书并不是一个问题。读书在众多的责任当中,应该算是我最拿手的吧。但是,碰到“华文”时,它却叫我惊慌失措。

来到南大后,还是应该说从进入华初后,我就不再是对华文了如指掌的学生了。刚好相反的是,说多错多,写多错更多,哈,那时真让我信心大减。来到南大后,事情也没有改善的现象。反而是我做起英国文学的学问,更得心应手。哈。

是一个极大的讽刺。

从高中开始,对文科非常有兴趣的我,却在理科拿到优异的成绩,但我还是选择走上“中文系”这条路。没有后悔,只有执著。尽管别人用异样的眼光看我,尽管许多人都不了解我为何走上这条路,而且走上这条路,更是有点像选错夫君的感觉,但我还是坚持到底。 当我看到自己的华文作业成绩不怎么样,其他科目却考得似模似样时,我开始动摇, 以往的信心也有点把持不住了。

学习语文,并没有一套方法或方程式,你需要的是-- 耐心,毅力,热忱。

希望秉着这种精神,能让我一直走下去,一直走下去。。

i like this!

除非你正视生命,否则任何艺术活动都是徒然的。艺术活动的真正意义,在于其过程让你对生命、对人们有更深的了解。-- 郭宝昆

mugging!

acty studying is realli pretty enjoyable. haha. though tiring. like wad pst kong said, or shld i say Solomon said, much study is wearisome to the flesh. haha. but i like the period of time in which i study n use my brain la. :) keep on keeping on.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Your Hidden Talent
Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.People crave your praise and complements.

first day of exam.

tdy was the first day of my exam in ntu. first exam in like a year. wow. it felt like lep days cos i happen to be studying gu wen. haha. feel like how i was like trying to cram everything down my throat. but i enjoyed it. hoping that it will get better.

Your glory is the value of who u r.

Rise above being average!

Rise above being mediocre!

Set high goals! Goals so high that pple will know that it has to be GOD!
Your Birthdate: July 28
You have a Type A personality so big it makes other Type A's shrink away in shame.You never shy away from adversity - and you love to tackle impossible problems.Failure is not an option for you, and more than a few people are put off by your ego.You tend to be controlling, and you hate leaving anything up to chance.
Your strength: Your bold approach to life
Your weakness: You don't accept help
Your power color: Bronze
Your power symbol: Pyramid
Your power month: October
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Sunday, November 06, 2005

so much to say.

i m supposed to be studying now. but yet i have like 101 things on my mind.

tog's svc was fantastic! it was jus such a good message preached! Pst was jus amazing. He really preached it and within me, i really wan that glory to be released. to really excel in my work, to rise above being average n mediocre, so that they may see my good works n glorify my Father in Heaven. time to mug hard.

讨厌思绪繁杂,讨厌无法平静。讨厌这种感觉。原本应该很美好。可是现在的我却连声叹气。好想开心的笑。无忧无虑的笑。

pple who maximise their glory r often tired. it is time to work realli hard.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

thinking. hard.

i love blogging. hee. i love writing. cos i love toking too.

was jus reading my old entries. sometimes it is really nice to jus look back at how u've grown. n becos of the grace of God, i have grown. praise the Lord. recently i have been hugging my Bible n meditating on it like nobody's business. haha. cos i realli need the word of God to put faith in my heart. i need faith! :)

mountain moving faith..

overcoming faith..

faith as small as a mustard seed..

faith that comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.

tdy's revelation.

Isaiah 40

21Have you not known? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?

22 It is He who sits above the circle of the earth, And its inhabitants are like grasshoppers, Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain, And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.

23 He brings the princes to nothing; He makes the judges of the earth useless.

24 Scarcely shall they be planted, Scarcely shall they be sown, Scarcely shall their stock take root in the earth, When He will also blow on them, And they will wither, And the whirlwind will take them away like stubble.

25 "To whom then will you liken Me, Or to whom shall I be equal?" says the Holy One.

26 Lift up your eyes on high, And see who has created these things, Who brings out their host by number; He calls them all by name, By the greatness of His might And the strength of His power; Not one is missing.

27 Why do you say, O Jacob, And speak, O Israel: "My way is hidden from the Lord, And my just claim is passed over by my God"?

28 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable.

29 He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength.

30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall,

31 But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

王子变青娃

this show seems like it is the thing now. haha.

我讨厌你影响我的心跳,妨碍我的视线,左右我的人生。

haha.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

mugging. :)

hey hey. haha. it is acty now according to ahma's clock 340am in the morning. n wad m i doin? mugging. or shld i say.. trying to mug. haha. cos i cant really understand wad i m studying! but it is okie. haha. i will last till early morning.. when the rest r slping. :( xiaoting jia you! hee :)

and i so so appreciate pastor for the bs. though it was solid stuff, but yet it is so good. God is a good God i feel.. a really really good God. jia you gal.. keep on keeping on.

Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

sometimes it is not easy. sometimes it gets tiring. sometimes it gets boring. sometimes it gets difficult. sometimes it seems more difficult than wad it really is. sometimes..

sometimes i wonder was Jesus tired.. when He ministered to the pple day n night.. did He ever feel like giving up? Did He feel like He did not wan to go to the cross.. did He? my guess is He probably did.. but yet He kept on keeping on. becos of the joy that was set before Him.

one of my greatest life model examples is pst kong n sun. something that amazes me abt them is that they nv fail to jus keep going. whenever i look at pst kong, he can be doing so many things, travelling to so many places but yet new n newer revelations jus flow out of him. at least i dun see the tired side of him. he can be tired physically.. but yet his heart burns on stronger n stronger for the Lord.

energy does not come from resting.

energy comes frm doing wad God wans u to do.

i wan to be like that.

i wan to keep on keeping on.

i wan to love n love more passionately. God n pple.

can one man make a difference?

they r weak but He is strong. :)

xiaoting......... jia you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

上帝应该也是个画家。有时候我们可能不知道他在画什么,有时候他也会用暗淡的颜色。但是,我们可以很肯定,这幅画会是很美的一幅画。人生有得也有失,有时候失去了才知道我们拥有的是什么。

there is probably nothing in this world that is greater than love.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

just ranting

jus need to say some nonsense or sth. haha. my exams r coming! that is like a little bit the scary. haha. but well.. i m crossing my fingers hoping everything gonna be alright. i need to study very very very hard! xiao ting jia you..

recently jus dawned upon the topic bout the usefulness of studying chinese. interestingly when i was leaving my hse yest, met a guy who was asking for directions and happen to tok to him on the way to the mrt. was jus toking bout wad i was studying in.

well this is where wad i learn comes into play. about stereotyping. haha. cos the moment he heard chinese.. he was like !?!?!?!?!?!?! hhaha. den the next question is u wan to be a tcher? haha. and that is like abt everybody's reaction. so try not to ask me that question k.. it is really quite boring repeating my answer like for erm.. dunno how many times?? haha. jus kidding.

decided to write something intelluctual here so as to use my brains in a better way. seriously our society have been shaped in such a manner, esp the Singapore society that somehow business, management, sci and tech is better that arts and stuff. and singaporeans r kind of too realistic. i mean it is good to be realistic, but yet i feel that u still need to retain part of ur dream. n i guess i am jus a person who really goes after my dreams, regardless of my circumstances. i m pretty proud of that fact but maybe some will find that i m too unrealistic? haha. but i really wan to thank God for Pst's teachings that give me courage to pursue wad i wan to do. i remember when i told my tcher i m studying chi, den he ask me taking scholarship ah, den i say no. i jus wan to study lor. den he said wo you zhi qi. haha. zhi qi?? haha. perhaps. but if u look at it in another way, out of the box, it is jus that we r too trapped in the Singapore mentality. that u mus study wad is useful for ur future. i really believe that wadeva u study does not matter. becos if u r a thinker, a problem solver, an overcomer, u will soar and u will find ways to succeed in the society. dun be merely reduced to wad the society says u r ya?

and another thing is i m happy studying wad i m studying. n i want to have the spirit of excellence! to do the best that i can do.. so Holy Spirit.. help me. :)

love u Jesus every single day. *muacks*

Saturday, October 15, 2005

i broke my word

haha. okie i broke my word. i m still going to blog here. haha.

tdy i went to a really nice restaurant. baccarat. it has a really nice ambience. :)

n we saw moses lim. n i ate a lot. so much more than wad i have been eating recently. but tdy's dinner doesnt feel as cosy as before. i miss family.

it is really a nice place. :)

Friday, October 14, 2005

all things come to an end

not blogging here anymore. see ya.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

link!

okie! so here is the link that has been popularly demanded. :)

http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Personality Style Description

Determined and driven to excellence in all she does, xiaoting tends to be very competitive. She is not afraid to "go for" what she desires or wants, and is willing to put forth the effort for success. xiaoting is not afraid to challenge others in her quest to achieve her end goals, but she also respects position and authority and is not unnecessarily confrontational.Others see xiaoting as a versatile person whom they rely upon to break up monotonous or routine situations. She tends to be individualistic, and may sometimes prefer to do things outside of the team. xiaoting may even be perceived as "restless", since she tends to move quickly from one thing to the next.xiaoting prefers a rational and moderate approach when first entering new situations and tries to avoid extremes. She likes the company of others, but xiaoting is equally comfortable spending a quiet evening alone. She is a realist who will always weigh her options before she makes a decision to move ahead.Not afraid to take a bold approach, xiaoting is willing to challenge the status quo. She is original and creative, and acts with confidence when implementing new solutions. xiaoting will tend to use a balance of intuition and facts when making decisions, and once she has made a decision, she will not be afraid to take action upon it.

Monday, October 03, 2005

my birth date.

You entered: 7/28/1986
Your date of conception was on or about 4 November 1985.
You were born on a Mondayunder the astrological sign Leo.Your Life path number is 5.The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2446639.5.The golden number for 1986 is 11.The epact number for 1986 is 19.The year 1986 was not a leap year.As of 10/3/2005 11:53:51 AM CDTYou are 19 years old.You are 231 months old.You are 1,001 weeks old.You are 7,007 days old.You are 168,179 hours old.You are 10,090,793 minutes old.You are 605,447,631 seconds old.
There are 298 days till your next birthdayon which your cake will have 20 candles on it.Those 20 candles produce 20 BTU's,or 5,040 calories of heat (that's only 5.0400 food Calories!) .You can boil 2.29 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 1986 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.In 1986 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.In 1986 in the US there were 2,400,000 marriages (10%) and 1,159,000 divorces (4.8%)In 1986 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)Your birthstone is Ruby The Mystical properties of Ruby
Ruby is said to open one's heart to love.Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
CarnelianYour birth tree is
Cypress, the Faithfulness
Strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, happy,content,optimistic, needs enough money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered,unruly, pedantic and careless.There are 83 days till Christmas 2005!The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waning gibbous.

accurate test.

check this out!

i did this test n i think it is really quite accurate.

You entered: Chiong Xiao Ting
There are 14 letters in your name.Those 14 letters total to 83There are 6 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 11
The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer.
The expression or destiny for #11:Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents.
The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form.
The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive and temperamental. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need.
Your Soul Urge number is: 7
A Soul Urge number of 7 means: With a number 7 Soul Urge you are very fond of reading, and retreating to periods of being alone and away from the disruptions of the outer world. You like to dream and develop you idealistic understandings, to study and analyze, to gain knowledge and wisdom. You may be too laid back and withdrawn to really succeed in the business world, and you will be much more comfortable in circumstances that are tolerant of your reserve, your analytical approach, and your desire to use your mind rather than your physical being.
You are very timid around people that you don't know very well, so much so at times that casual conversation and social situations can be strained. You tend to repress your emotions to the extend that some people have a good bit of difficult understanding you. You tend to be very selective with friends and you don't easily adapt to new environments or to new people very quickly.
The negative traits of the 7 include becoming too much the introvert and isolated from others.
Your Inner Dream number is: 7
An Inner Dream number of 7 means: You dream of having the opportunity to read, study, and shut yourself off from worldly distractions. You can see yourself as a teacher, mystic, or ecclesiastic, spending your life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning.

i never had any test that describes me like that n i really like it! although the introvert pt is not so true. ha.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

天马行空。

又好在这里想用华文。。 天马行空。

曾经对着这个字,心想,我喜欢 -- 天马行空。

前几个blog里,我记录了一首歌。我喜欢那首歌的感觉,的境界。 我喜欢在天上飞,地上驰骋的感觉。而我特别喜欢 驰骋 这个词。它好像是形容着千里马在奔跑。

我向往自由。

向往一个不被束缚的地方。

让我的心。紧跟着你,自由翱翔。

where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

Monday, September 26, 2005

reminisces

was jus reading my blog in another place. was so amazed by the things that God brought me through. yet reading it put a once new desire in me. i really want to love God more than i ever did before.

u noe pple once asked me.. how can a person keep on loving the Lord? and i asked myself before too. u noe like Pst Kong.. He has been a Christian for 30 yrs.. y is he able to love God more n more?

den i remembered i told the person. u can love Him because He first loved us. u noe sth.. we cant love God on our own. we dun have the strength. we love Him becos the Holy Spirit will put that desire within us to love.

so here i m once again Lord..

asking that u help me to love you so much more.

that every single day i will love u more than my yesterday..

and keep me close to u every moment of my life.

i wan to live for You.

help me Holy Spirit..

Saturday, September 24, 2005

久久无法释怀

i simply live for You

SAY THE WORD AND I WILL SING FOR YOU
OVER OCEANS DEEP I WILL FOLLOW
IF EACH STAR WAS A SONG
EVERY BREATH OF WIND PRAISE
IT WILL STILL FAIL BY FAR
TO SAY ALL MY HEART CONTAINS
I SIMPLY LIVE
I SIMPLY LIVE FOR YOU

AS THE GLORY OF YOUR PRESENCE
NOW FILLS THIS PLACE
IN WORSHIP WE WILL MEET YOU FACE TO FACE
THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD
TO WHICH YOU CAN BE COMPARED
GLORY ON GLORY
PRAISE UPON PRAISE

YOU BIND THE BROKEN-HEARTED
AND SAVE ALL MY TEARS
BY YOUR WORD
YOU SET THE CAPTIVES FREE
THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD
THAT YOU CANNOT DO
I SIMPLY LIVE
I SIMPLY LIVE FOR YOU

Friday, September 23, 2005

失望

哈。当我们写“失望”时,常常是写自己的失望。往往没想到今天写的失望是我让别人失望。

好想大声地说“对不起!”好想大声地喊“对不起!”

对不起 对不起 对不起 对不起

好希望时光能倒流。这一切像是一场梦。噩梦。

对不起
有人曾告诉我,这句话有无穷的力量。
今天,我好用力地说对不起,却发现这三个字失去了他的魔力。
那我该怎么办?

我讨厌让人失望,难过的感觉。
宁可天下人负我,我绝不负天下人?

现在连文字都失去它的魔力。

。。。

chatting

jus finished chatting with helen. enjoyed it so much. missed the times when i can jus pick up the phone or sms her to tok to her! now i cant do that. gee.... now online it feels a bit different. but i still enjoyed it. :)

thank God for friendships. :)

Thursday, September 22, 2005

new blogskin!

yay! i have finally changed my blogskin! haha. i m sho happy. isnt this nice? i really really liked it! Jesus is the reason y i live! yay!!!!

i feel sort of evil cos i m wasting time sitting in front of my com. but these few days i have been really happy cos God really has been good to me. On wed i had such a great time in sch! this week we start lecture with a wonderful lecturer from bei da. hee. half of my dream coming true? even liang wen fu was there. n i absorbed during sociology class though i dozed off la. hee. n i had great lessons nowadays n there is jus such a flow in my life.. the oil of the Holy Spirit.

n i have a magic weighing machine! it makes u lighter! haha. my dad stood on it and he lost 7 kg. muahahahaha. jus last sun i went ikea to buy a lot a lot of things to decorate my room. n i packed my room for like 8 hours???? can u like believe it? but there is a great sense of satisfaction looking at my room now.. haha. it is so much neater. :)

xiao ting is a happy girl.. jus on tues God started another work in me again. man i m telling u.. it is jus absolutely awesome to live for God!

i love You Jesus!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 12, 2005

jus wan to blog b4 i slp. i really like penning my thots down. now amidst my busy schedule, i seldom have time to think except maybe during travelling. n that is y pple ask me if i mind the long distance frm ntu. not really becos i appreciate that time in which i think and sleep too. haha.

tdy was a rainy day. i used to dislike rainy days thinking that they r inconvenient n troublesome n they make me wet. but i enjoyed the day. :) i like the freshness in the air after it rains. i like the cool breeze that it carries. i like walking after it rains.

jus now was jus teaching tuition n God awakened this in me. shall pen it down in chinese.

每个人一生下来都有这样东西“童真”。而今天我好像看到“童真"的再现。哈哈哈哈。轻描淡写的几句话,提醒了我我们每个人都有着一份上帝赐的礼物。只是因为现实的残酷,生活的步伐,罪恶的恶心,把它淹没了。我好想唤起心中那一份“童真”。难怪人家说童年是最让人怀念的。而看到别人能够那么单纯,才发现能拥有单纯,童真是一个福气。:)

Sunday, September 11, 2005

back frm service n tuition n stuff. glad that the week is over. cos it has not been ez. but service was great! love it when pst toked abt it n stuff. cos it is jus amazing. the heart of worship.

jus feel that all of us really need to have the heart of worship becos this is wad it is all about. u noe everytime u think bout pple like abraham n david n stuff u really wonder.. how do they do it? but yet u also yearn to walk with God like that. to be so entwined around Him. yep. that is the heart of worship.

tdy took a walk around bugis. finally after so long. kind of missing shopping but kind of tired of getting things as well. though i m also quite tired of my wardrobe. :) but gave wei yi bs tdy n enjoyed it. :) and enjoyed toking to my members as well. :) it is nice to have fellowship.

this week is my mid term break!!!!! yay! although i still will be as busy as ever, let us hope i will have a teeny weeny little bit of more time to catch up on my studies!

n let us have a breakthru this week... revival revival revival.

and helen jus emailed me! man.. it is like that kind that makes u all sentimental n wanting to cry. i miss that ger! n i noe she is reading this. u noe sometimes i really wish i can be overseas studying.. but guess that is jus not the will of God for me. but i really wanna experience it if i ever get a chance. if God wants me to, that is. if not den i will make ntu heaven on earth. :) i will really really try. haha. and helen, gambate! behind u all the way n praying for u gal. love ya lots.

okie going off. think i gonna blog more often. wanna change my blogskin too.

anybody want to do it for me? hee. nite.

Friday, September 02, 2005

hihi. i m in da bian room now blogging. jus feel that God has been such a good God to me since sch reopen. that God has been really guiding me and giving me strength to work, lead cg and study at the same time. now i noe what does it mean that the steps of the righteous r ordered by the Lord. yep.

chan eng n i was jus toking abt it. how can Pst Kong do it???? where does he get his strength from? den the next day i was jus praying and the presence of God jus came and God told me this is how Pastor does it! and now i really know what it means by "cant live a day without Your presence" Lord. the presence of God is jus so precious in my life and i m really sustained every day by that. gee i love Him and His presence!

yup God is good and i got nice tuition assignments and good frens and fantastic cg members! haha.357 i love u. hee. jus realise that u guys get more n more adorable as the days go past. haha. thank you for standing in prayer with me to believe for a breakthrough in the cg! love all of u!

:)