i m so supposed to update on my very exciting 22nd birthday. but i m just a little too tired.

it has been awesome though.

my biggest thank you goes out to all who made my day. you guys rock, really.

to my cg, i m amazed by you guys. thanks for your love! i will specially put up a post in dedication to you guys k? haha. i love the cinderella story. n i enjoy being a princess. haha.

to my dearest frens in MY subzone: guys, my warmest thanks goes out to you, for always being there for me, for being my frens, and my fellow co-workers. indeed it's a great priveilege to serve God together with you.

to the many many who wished me happy birthday, over msn, phone, sms etc etc, i m touched! :) and i have not finished replying them yet. haha.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and last but not least, i thank YOU for being in my life, for bringing these great frens into my midst, for putting me in a great physical and spiritual family, for never failing me, for being the very reason of my existence. for without You, all these would not have been possible.

love You Lord.

promise i will put up a proper post soon. ciao for now!!!

近期来，因为需要休息，星期六下午总会在家。或许，人老了，总会珍惜在家里的时光。哈哈。

因为星期六下午在家，所以爱上了《白色巨塔》。

爱上这部剧的原因有很多，当然其中之一是因为言承旭。喜欢他的率直和热忱，总觉得他是一个不一样的艺人。

很久没有看到这么有深度的电视剧了。

最近的电视剧，多数以偶像剧为主。i'm not complaining, 因为我自己也常追看。但是，这样的一部写实剧，真的很难得。像蔡导说的，他希望《白》不仅仅是电视商品，而我认为，他做到了。

这部剧很精彩，跳叙的手法，人物的多层面，让剧情更贴近生活。

故事中的许多瑕疵和不完美，让人更能感觉它贴近人生。

真的是 一部很精彩的作品。

我好想买下dvd来珍藏。(:

我真的很喜欢言承旭。

when is the right time to step out.

wad is the critical balance.

this has been the question for so long.

i m struggling.

i gave up many opportunities cos i was afraid that i made the wrong choice.

i am thinking.

when is the right time to go out.

he said, so u r going to get out of your well.

my well.

these things have been tugging at my heart.

show me how to live
teach me in your ways
that i may walk with u all my days.

currently in ntu-nus camp. i m supposed to be home sleeping! but in the end i ended up staying here la. it's so weird that i end up slping in nus tonight. haha.

anyway i just wanted to say, heard a word that was being shared today that was really good. it was a very short word, but it did hit me pretty much.

yet once more.

and i felt God speaking into my heart.

yet once more.

and i was so reminded of wad God has been speaking to us over this whole season.

you know, there are many decisions i need to make, many things i need to think abt, many things i need to settle. gee.

the sleep debt i incurred last wk cos of en104 has not been repaid yet, so i m still feeling fatigue.

but camp has been fun so far la. :)

i hope i get some time to sleep, pray, rest and think about wad i want to do for the rest of the yr.

and sth very interesting happened tdy.

it might have excited me last time, but not now.

and now, off to fright night. hur.

xiaoting. u have to stop running helter skelter doing 101 things at one time.

xiaoting u r only one person. and u only have 24 hours.

can u focus focus and focus? focus on what is impt girl.

jia you.

每一次想到这事情，心里总有一丝丝的难过。

想到。。你第一个想到的人不是我。。

想到。。我们不再是最好的朋友。。

我真的。。 常常。。 感到那一点的遗憾。

和心痛。

the en104 hangover hit me today.

lol.

i was feeling pretty alive when i went for pm last night, and even after coming back, i din feel exhausted and all. but this morning when i woke up, the fatigue really hit me.

and the funny thing is, i was so tired, that on the way back in the bus, i was dozing off. this is unusual, because i was with my member! but i was so tired that i could not keep my eyes open. following which i needed to go out with my dad, and i literally slept from the beginning till the end. usually i will take that time to tok to daddy, but i was really too tired. and now, i m still feeling it. :)

wanted to update more and tok more on stuff, but perhaps after i have really recuperated. the fatigue is getting to me, and i can already see the 101 things i need to do this coming wk. and before anything, it's the ntu-nus camp. haha. lol i will back in sch again.

watching dark knight tml yeah. (:

so the game is officially over. hurhurhur. it was actually a very exciting game, and i realised, my threshold for no sleep has gone up one notch higher. it's crazy how i can analyse numbers when i have not slept for like 24-48 hours. wahahaha.

in the past one wk, we were playing this game called marketplace. J told me that it is a very very fun game, which i totally agree, and my group really went through the highs and the lows. and after a week of little sleep, the game is finally over, with us ending in 23 million debt, and i wonder what is gg to happen at the end of the day.

but this experience was cool, and from the bottom of my heart, i love inferno!!!! hahaha. we r a bunch of crazy idiots, who just totally whacked it after we hit riddo. wahahahahaha. and there were like so many crazy moments, and though we end up heavily in debt, we had tons tons of fun. INFERNO U ROCK. haha. i will post up pics n videos k? on uncle ben's game theory, ah huat's ah huat-ed moment, and i think our whole team just ah-huated. wahahhaa.

this is the end of en101-en104, and i wonder wad will happen to us after en104. But i had a total lot of fun through this, especially en104! and i think, one more time, my team rocks like mad. wahahaha. i love u guys! hurhurhur.

k la more updates after tday. i m feeling very alive, and looking forward to a week of rest before starting to pia again. and today i realised, freak i have not started on my FYP! haha.

k guys i will see u all. my beloved helen is back. date me!

in a nutshell, this is what i am studying for, for tml's exam. but to tell the truth, i still dun understand assets, liabilities and owner's equity. urgh. and why is a partnership good? i see no advantage whatsoever. in case u r wondering wad exam i m having tml, it's ACCOUNTING. the big A word.

u noe over the past few weeks, the comment that i get is i look tired. everybody just says i look tired! and G was so kua zhang to say i looked pale n tired!!!!!! goodness. and someone told me, it's that lack of energy in me. then i know what she is toking abt. it's that lack of energy.

thank God i am getting it back this wk, haha. to be able to be toking to chan eng on the train all the way.. is so xiaoting. hurhur. but i m so excited abt what i shared, and i loved the possibilities that was posed to me simply through toking to ppl. i m so glad...

this exam really doesn't feel like an exam. maybe for the fact that the percentage is not THAT high, but it is still high la. 30% leh. come on xiaoting focus. :P

finally i got a good look at who xiao jing teng is from bai fen bai yest. honestly, hmm, he doesn't look that fantastic next to xiao zhu. wahahahaha. but he is still quite cool la. esp his billard skills. how he thrashed xiao zhu WOWed me. hurhur.

back to mugging.

i sound like a bimbo. but i miss shopping. i realise chi bi is a really really nice show. catch it with me anyone?

i miss..

hanging out with my frens.

the 61 gang.

slacking and doing nothing.

having a life.

shopping.

i miss.. my cg and their nonsensical what-nots!

1.5 weeks more to go. to be exact. it's 10 days.

this is the question that has come up time and time again.

is worth it right? ha.

there's such a change in mindset and stuff.

indeed once u r stretched u will never go back to the same again.

yest i was in a pm. what touched me was the passion that i heard n felt in my soul. that passion that breaks u. that testimony that blows your mind.

seriously, i m very excited to noe what is in store. haha. in all aspects.

i cant help, but still be in a blown-away state right now. i m still blown away, period.

He shows up in ways i have never imagined. God always surprises me, really.

thank you for being so real to each and every one of us, for being here. your very presence touched my heart in a big way. i m humbled, bowed over. thank you for touching hearts and changing lives. i can't help, but be in awe.

a lot of things r running thru my mind. all the different experiences this past month, what has happened, what not, what i have learned. i felt like i m in a whole new dimension. God has been really good, and i have been relying on His grace. :)

from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

i led one of the best worships i ever led tdy. he came n touched everyone, just like that. God moves in amazing ways isn't it?

i surrender all.

i feel like this on the inside.

i cannot help but feel like going on and on about my rantings for the day, excited by the fact that i have no sch for one wk.

this one month felt like eternity.

thus, while i'm listening to presentations, i m dreaming away in lala land, thinking abt wad i do tdy, tml, day after tml, thinking about the many million ppl i will meet, 100 million things i will do, and frankly, the exam in 7 days' time is way low on my ttd list. WAHAHA.

was just reading a friend's blog, and rem about last night. seriously, to step into jw, to clap n sing like that, was woww. i felt a little drained, but i m happy with what God has done.

to think abt what is in store, the kind of changes i will be moving into, excite me.

i have been placed into strategic places, meet certain ppl, which me n j agree, is DIVINE.

i wonder what is in store. i m starting to really think, what i want to do one yr from now.

it was a fruitful talk, amidst our crappy tiredness.

a lot of things went thru my mind, things that i did not have time to think about, thoughts that suddenly crossed my mind.

just past the halfway mark, i was just looking back.

it is indeed an experience. and like what i told him, it really expanded my horizons. it touched my heart that someone knew exactly what i was toking about. but i just felt a little torn. and a little tug in the heart.

but now when i think abt it, there must be a way right? when GPDI's doctors and businessmen were mentioned. they r really the new breed.

wad to do.. where to go.. the involvement?

i wonder..

but i felt like this is another level.

he asked, r u ready to take up the cultural mandate?

it's a whole new chapter.

i'm loving it. :)

taking my first step.. a little scared.. a little apprehensive.. but excited n expectant.

show me.

上个星期，许多许多事情的发生，让我措手不及。我好久，都没有处于这样的状况，因此，我只能感觉惊慌失措。也让我发现，朋友的重要。

i was just a little disappointed. by ur decision. it seems not easy to befriend somebody all over again. i asked myself if i have gone too far, but i could not come to a decision. perhaps it has never mattered to you in the first place, but i wonder, why did it not even matter to you in the first place? what was the criterion for friends?

我发现，真的很不容易。

才渐渐了解，the marketplace is not for weaklings. 哈哈。

一语惊醒梦中人。不知道，为何同样的事会发生？连 ahma 都觉得我好笑。他和他的相似度，令我惊奇。哈哈。还好，我学聪明了。

回到宿舍，不喜欢离家的感觉。但是，扭开收音机，又开始喜欢这个夜晚的宁静，听着音乐，我好喜欢这种感觉。:)

i was very impacted, is it by svc today, or pm. touched. by how he met me. and spoke to me.

we were first called to enjoy his presence, before we do anything else isn't it? ya.

women are called, to be a supporter of the man's vision, isn't it? ya.

having said all, i would still choose you.

it's a promise.

i surrender all.

有人问我,值得吗? 当时,我真的不知该怎么回答. 昨天回家的路途上,我在想,应该是值得的吧. 但是, 今早, 带着疲惫的身体, 我只能说, 我不知道.

但是, 昨天让我遇到的人与事, 真的很神奇, 让心里的一股热血沸腾, 而我这才了解, 他为何忙, 为什么而忙.

是神奇的.

问我以后要做什么. 我真的不知.

带我去一个很棒的地方吧.

thank you for all u standing by. is it the support, the standing in the gap, the understanding, it is much appreciated. i feel sad to miss out on some stuff, yet i know it's definitely a give and take situation. it will be over in no time.

ting jia you. (:

to quote someone, it has been a perfectly horrid day.

i cannot rem when was the last time i felt like this.

but thank God for all of u who stood by me. i feel blessed.

thanx for the listening ear, the encouragements, the concerns, and for being there.

your presence made a big difference.

n what God told me in the morning came to pass.

thanx.

i will be strong.

yest night, when i thot abt not needing to wake up at 6. it felt STRANGE. i cannot rem when was the last time i slept till 12pm. n i wanted to go to work, cos it's really weird to be doing nothing, but in the end i was too sick that i gave up.

i m learning to enjoy this, n it was fun listening to different ppl's idea. i'm glad ours was so simple. haha. tml we start again, n i might be moving to hall for a week.

seriously, it feels so weird to be home that i dunno wad to do already. haha. everybody told me i shld rest. but wad do u do when u r resting? (:

ciao

I M HAPPY!!!!!!!!! BEFORE MY NEXT PROJECT STARTS ON THURS. TML I M FREE!!!! HAHA. N....... I HAVE A NEW PROJECT COMING UP ON THURS. WAHAHAHAHA.

DID I TELL U, I M STARTING TO ENJOY. N I LOVE MY TEAM MATES. HAHA.

something that i felt sad about, because of the busy schedule, is the lack of fellowship with friends and people. i miss my friends and my life! haha. many times when i talk to them or meet up with them, i would be so exhausted i don't really have much energy to talk or to communicate. just want to say Sorry guys for not having enough time to spend with u! sounds weird but awfully true. :(

and to someone that called last night, my sincere apologies. you know i m really too exhausted, so hang on there for a while k? n i really appreciate u pressing into my life.

and to all who stood by me, xiaoting says thank u. thank u for putting up with my complaints, my mia-ing, for willing to be my fren even though u noe i m so bz i have no time to tok to u. thanks for all ur understanding, i'll be back soon! haha. and to those who rose up n stand in the gap, u r much appreciated.

thanks for all the help rendered really, the encouragement in time of need, want u to know, frens, u make part of me. it is God, and it is you who keep me going. another few more weeks to go, n i will be through.

jia you. (:

reality hit when i reached home. w/o the lappy beside my bed, i just feel a little empty, and realised how impt computer is to my life. i simply cannot live without msn u noe. haha. but anyway, there's no news on it la. well i m still hoping n praying, somehow maybe sth will happen. if not God will be nice enough to bless me with a new laptop i hope. (: after hearing what my fren said, i might really consider switching to apple. haha. well, that is if i dun get it back la. :P k let's pray hard. cg tml n attending weddings! yay! haha. thank God for a pc at home. n for frens who were there n encouraging. thanks peeps.