i was reminded sometime ago, abt wad wj shared. regarding jeremy saying, one of the impt things is to prepare, prepare and prepare.

suddenly, it just hit me hard.

for this month, the conversation that was going on with God was abt waiting, and patience, and waiting, and patience, and preparing myself.

not just training up the patience, it's a time for me to build myself up i believe.

there r days that i wish things could be easier, and there r days i know God is more interested in my character than my comfort. so there you go.

from the alchemist.

"Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it and spent many years living with the scars, we suddenly notice what we always wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realising the dream for which we fought all our lives.

Oscar Wilde said: 'Each man kills the thing he loves.' And it's true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the sufferings we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. I have known a lot of people who, when their personal calling was within their grasp, went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal ----- when it was only a step away.

This is the most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the things you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here. "

-Paulo Coelho

do you understand how i feel? and what i am really saying? and where exactly i am.. at this point?