最近，一些人的举止，真的让我很感动。而我会想，他们真的没有必要这么做，可是你深深的感受到他们的珍惜。

人与人的相处之道，可能是我们生活中最重要的东西吧。

最担心，害怕的，是有一天，我们这么的盲目，只看到自己，却看不到别人。

as i read again, i felt misunderstood.

n it's sad.

it's such a contrast n conflict of feelings these few days really. nah i'm not getting into the emo mode, because i really got too much things to do. so ting n ying, stop laughing at xiaoting can? u all r like.. laughing at me. haha. i know it ok? :)

i feel so tempted to say again. but nvm. God is good. He balanced that "affectedness" by the very very kind gestures of friends. once again, thanks. i'm blogging like at this unearthly timing, n i'm awfully tired. pls prayyy for me. thank you.

seriously, i feel soo awfully blessed. no kidding.

suddenly i felt, it must be all the sowing that i have done, ha.

tdy i was still thinking abt it, and it was only like 15 hrs after we sent u off, n u r already missed! oh man.

and my fren, THANK YOU so much. oh it's so appreciated when i'm really just so tied up with everything. really. and that gesture of kindness touched my heart so much.

recently, i keep receiving acts of kindness from ppl and i genuinely feel so touched can? God is so good.

thank you my friends. u light up my awfully busy life. :)

in just 1 week, i sent 2 soons away. :) one after another. but yet it was 2 very different sending off. weird to say this, but they r 2 brothers that really mean a lot to me, and both of them feel so much like my younger brothers, serious, and that's y i'm the da jie i guess. ha.

they seem so alike in many ways, n yet so different. yes very different indeed.

jy, jus hope u get to read this post though. :)

there is this verse in Heb 13:17 that says, let ur leaders serve you with joy and not sorrow, and i m proud to say, u really allowed me to serve you with joy. the 2 weeks after u r saved, have really brought me so much joy, by simply teaching u the word of God, prayer, reading the Bible, it's just amazing n beautiful. and thank you! (oh man it feels like u r going for 3 yrs already)

and yes definitely u r coming back in a piece, but this is one of the few times i send ppl off feeling so awfully sad, which i think u r too la. :) but it's really an experience in a lifetime, so instead of leaving with regrets, enjoy ur trip to the fullest.

and seeing u tdy, really made me see such a touching side of u, ha, thanx for being so awfully nice.

we really look forward to ur return 28 days later. n counting down!

u r appreciated for making me feel so appreciated.

(honestly, if not for me being in such a high mode tdy, that just covered over every other emotion, i may have ended up like ck. )

you'll be missed!

wanted to blog this yest.

running creates a very funny feeling.

before i run, i dread it. force myself with every ounce of my energy to do it.

during my run, it's painful but enjoyable. the kind of "mind over body" is wad i need to train.

after my run, i yearn it. wished that i had run a bit more, becos the feeling of burning fats is fantastic.

昨天，在回来时，刚好听到范范的“黑白配”，陶醉在其中。抬头一看，在想，怎么又没有星星了？星期五跑步时，也没有看到星星，心里感到纳闷。

怎知，我瞧啊瞧，发现星星都一颗颗的跑了出来。

不久，天空真的充满着星星。

and He spoke to me.

当你被黑夜围绕时，你会以为，星星都不见了。但是，如果仔细地去看，星星藏在黑夜里，认真去找，他们是存在的。

times when u go thru the darkest moments, thinking that His light is not there. think again. the next time u lift up your head and see, u may just see the faintest twinking assuring u, my child, i'm here. :)

my greatest joy is..

to walk down the aisle (not getting married) with you and seeing you give your life to Jesus

to see you growing, loving God and being serious with God

to see you maturing, stepping into your calling in God

to see you living out the word, even when you were not told to

to build a relationship with you, for relationship precedes ministry.

my greatest priveilege..

is to be here when u need me.

is to disciple u when u make mistakes, and u humbly listen to my advice

is to pray with u, and hear your passion in prayers

is to have you serve me, when i m called to serve you

my greatest priveilege..

is to be given a chance to love you, make a difference in your life, like how He has called me to.

i m priveileged, blessed, honored to have a cell group like you.

轻轻的，淡淡的，美美的，爱情故事。

这似乎是这几天，我所看的电影的特征。:)

《誓约》就是这样。

它的淡和美，和我看的偶像剧产生了强大的对比。

有人认为，太不切实际，太像童话了。

有时候，看了这样的戏后，我总会提醒我自己，梦，仍然是梦。

但是，有时候和他说话时，他也总会提醒我，爱情，在生活中，仍然存在的。

人生如戏，戏如人生嘛。

是，我始终是爱情的头号粉丝。

对于布拉图的那个希腊传说，我还是有那么一点点心动。

someone once said, We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.

i like wad jeremy said in leap years,

"i think it takes courage to resist being with someone for the sake of being with someone."

how apt a quote, for the world we live in.

"a leap, of love"

today is my best running so far. i was really dreading it, and felt like it was really torturous. but to tell the truth, i really din feel that torturous while running today. in fact, i kind of enjoyed it. that's my greatest achievement so far! haha. i used to hate running in sch so much and i really dun like 2.4km, but now i'm amazed by the progress. *crossing my fingers and praying this routine will last*. so frens, u will support me won't u? Pls help me by not asking me out for supper, or at least bring me out n forbid me from eating. that u're doing me a great great favour.

i hope i have enough determination to last me through, and i hope i only take 3 months to shed all the weight i want to. I pray, i focus, i ask.

and friends, u will support me huh? :)

on another note, just heard abt chen guan xi.

讲真的，虽然每个人都对他的过错非常生气，但是，人非圣贤，孰能无过？佩服他的勇气，喜欢他站出来的决心。给他多一个机会吧。我似乎太宽容了一点，可是对于勇敢认错的人，我还是欣赏的，不是吗？

i really dunno wad to post. haha.

recently, i have a bit of time on my hands, for some reason i dunno. BUT. i dun think this situation will last long. becos i started like publicising it, so i believe i'm gonna get bz soon.

and i need to exercise, and lose weight. i have no idea how much weight i put on, but it's definitely not little.

and Pst Tan preached an awesome msg. certain things in my heart. i hope u caught it.

and thank God for friends, for the joy, the support, the company, it's really appreciated. thanx for the v day company, for the suppers, for the movies, for the phone calls, for the sms-es, for even saying hi, n for replying me on msn.

i appreciate the fact that i'm a priority in ur life, and in urs, and urs and urs. really. thank you for letting me in, thank you for always sharing, thank you for always listening, and thank you for letting me know, if ever i need u, u'll be there.

i love you, and you and you and you. love you friends. i think u guys noe who u r.

to some, which i hope u catch it, there r certain things xiaoting can do if i want to, but i can't do it forever. i want to be there for u, but i also want u to learn to move on. and i honestly believe u can. u have this thing inside inside inside, that's waiting to release itself.

let's get up and live, shall we?

最近唯一感到的一些些苦恼，是当我看到朋友们难过，伤心，distressed, 而我爱莫能助。是一个“洁癖”吧，我真的希望身边的人，可以过得快乐。因为对我来说，快乐是一个多么重要的东西，不是吗？

不管你身边发生什么事，我们都可以让自己开心的笑，不是吗？

我发现，如果要选择，该烦恼的事情，要烦恼的事情还是很多的，但是。。。

yest i said, sleep is the greatest commodity of my life. acty i think, joy is more like it.

i can't live without smiling, and having joy in my life for a day.

and i want to walk out every day, knowing that i can smile, becos i have Him in me.

ya?

so to all my frens, i wish u happiness and joy, always n always,

n if there is anything i can do to make u smile in the midst of ur tiredness, stress, weariness, i will gladly do it. (haha i hope.)

this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!!

jus finished watching coffee prince and i had a good time praying. He is good. love u Lord. and love Your presence and how it comforts my soul. Thank You Jesus, for showing up whenever I need You there.

i will sing forever
Jesus I love You Jesus I love You

CNY is going to be over soon, before i knew it, it just passed me by like that. :) it's back to work, cg, church and frens again.

anw, met up with 61ders on tues. had a good time laughing, toking rubbish and crapping with them. it's jus awesome.

i realised that most of us have not really changed, but we have grown.

from "gossiping" about ppl, to toking abt the society, abt politics, abt our lives, we have grown, haven't we?

before we know it, wedding bells will start to ring.

time passes me by so fast. so fast. that is y i've decided.

我要非常认真的过生活。

真的。

wanted to blog. abt stuff. i'm excited every mon becos i get to watch 斗牛要不要. seriously, he is shuai. haha. ok enough of that.



just to update.



ok sat i went to taka to watch lim yang n frens, aka samba masala busk. honestly it was quite cool. :) kind of like strikeforce, n there n then i experienced the "power" of the percussion instruments.



then i told minyi, i like guys who can play the drums, piano, guitar and sax. siao right. such a wide range. but i think that guys who play drums r really cool. haha. which reminds me of sth i was toking to jeremy abt tdy. but anw let's forget abt it.



anw to sum it up, i think that percussion is powerful! and interesting really. i'm glad i got to meet them on sat. frens r such impt ppl huh. haha.



最近发生了一些事情，在一些人身上。过了这么久，我真的感觉到一种无力感。对于自己的无助，我真的真的很难过。或许人都是这样的吧，我们都对自己不能控制的事情而感到沮丧。



not being able to be there, not being able to doing sth for you, you and you, sometimes makes me feel like i'm not a good fren, or even not a good ...



i wish i can be there. i wish i can share ur sorrows. i wish i can stretch out my hand and u'll take it, and i can pull u out of that ditch.



i wish...



to end off, here's a pic of samba masala. (SMU) oh man i'm promoting them on my blog! haha.







i think ly is a nice bf. :) and i think his head will really swell.


and i think u shld pay me for promoting u on my blog. this is great advertisement. ha.

it seems like a looong while since i blogged. recently i'm really not so in the mood for blogging. :)

acty, i also dunno wad to say. haha.

but anyway, i'm glad CNY is coming. it's a time for food, for fun and for laughter.

was just toking to Minyi just now and she was persuading me to go orchard tml.

just want to say, that i really appreciate her and lim yang. yes LIM YANG. hahha. trying to emphasize that and insist on not calling him Yang. hee.

we dun really meet a lot, tok a lot or share a lot, but somehow, i do treasure this friendship that i hide at the back of my life somewhere.

and honestly, i've got to repeat myself, LIM YANG HAS CHANGED!

everybody thinks like i'm toking nonsense but it's true it's true it's true. He really has.

and he has changed for the better.

cool eh i'm complimenting him on my blog. haha.

i used to rem me n mei used to say when we were in sec sch, that he will make a good bf. haha. so that's true too.

k tml watching lim yang busking at taka. :) i'm being nice huh.

signing off peeps. seriously i cant really stand the trend nowadays. nth for me to buy. sho sad.

it is sooooo nice! i'm looking forward to next sunday. wahahaha.

it was a phenomenal weekend. i really felt blown away, from sat's service, to sunday's, and to leader's appreciation.

sth exploded on the inside.

i love dr bernard.

and i love You more.

and i have a new desire.. that is..

servant is who we are, lead is what we do.

i like this pic from xmas. nice!

cg during xmas. :) though it's incomplete.

the pic says it all.

yes this is LIM BAY HUNG.

and this is QUAH MING XUN.

and this is SOON WEIJIAN. i decided to put a nice pic of him, after the unglam one. and that is a self-made scarf by him! haha.

and that kinda completes the saturday boyz series.

seriously, i had this funniest and most ridiculous conversation with wj's sis - soon sze yin!!! oh man she is just so incredibly funny.. and you should listen.. to how she promotes her brother n sister!!!!!!! hahaha. i love her to bits. excuse me for that. hahaha.

i was just telling her... that i wanted to ...... her brother as ...... (hahah yes guess ppl but dun try too hard) and she was asking me.. do u want my sister too???? yes i do want ur sister but she dun want me!!!!!!! and i really find her incredibly cuteeeee!!! sorry for this really lame post and i think weijian's SISTERS are irresistible.

show u their pics man.

These r weijian's 2 irresistible sisters. hahha.

ok. i m supposed to post this up like millions of yrs ago. this is wj in his most unglam moment. actually, i have just obtained photos of him being more unglam. but to be nice, i wun put it up. this is for now! for this unglam and yet "popular" boy, i thought he has cute sisters.

anyway, perhaps after today, many many many more ppl will visit my blog. sze yin u noe y? haha.

i was just thinking abt it. wad do i want to do and how.

then she said sth that struck my heart.

and i realised, all that i want..

is to be a fren.

on another note, it was another awesome week. an awesome zone meeting, an awesome cg meeting, an awesome service.

dr bernard preached a word that just exploded me on the inside.

and i was telling wj. it's amazing what dr bernard preached is such a simple yet powerful truth. n i love the way he puts things across.

we used to hear alot about the Holy Spirit from Pst Ulf. and it's different hearing it from dr bernard. same Holy Spirit, same "wow" in my spirit, yet a whole different way of presenting..

my good friend. the Holy Spirit

we need you so much Lord. that we can be compelling witnesses for you.
and really, we are nothing without you.

"that experience at Pentecost would have to be so real, so spectacular, so tangible that the disciples were such convincing witnesses that 3000 souls believed that day."

"it was so real it could represent that physical presence of Jesus."

"it isn't the things, it's the quality."

"we aren't married to a religious system, we r married to a person. and it's about Him."

"you dun have the power, you are power."

God has been speaking to me over this week, again and again. and i m really thankful for that. and my wish for 2008, is that You will be more real to me than ever before in my life.

so. i was reminded.

recently, i kept getting reminded.

by ppl, by things.

like wad i said in my last entry, God has been moving, and He has been speaking.

软弱，怯懦，是我从来不能苟同的词眼。

那份热忱，一发不可收拾，简直到了疯狂的境界。

有人像鸽子，有人像狮子。

我曾经更像后者。

最近一些人，最近一些事，激发了我，让我无限感慨。

为什么我在做我现在所做的事？

星期二，他的一句话，真的激发了我。

星期五，他的一句不经意的鼓励，给了我推动力。

奇怪的是，这些轻轻说出来的话，让我心里泛起涟漪。

不是暧昧的。

让我再次冲动，再次被提醒，晓亭是谁。

a short one before i "whisked away" for cgm.

just feel really great this wk cos God has really been working in my life.

Amazingly, just a remark from a fren, or just a meeting up with someone really changed my thinking n perspective on things.

thank you frens. once again, u have touched my life and made a difference. really.

and xiaoting (i believe) has become better because of you.

love ya peeps.

it's weird that our conversation was not fluent, it felt like nothing, but it impacted me in a big way. thanks my fren.

i doubt u will ever see this, but i just want you to know, that one call or that one conversation on msn really meant a lot to me. :) and sometimes, u touch me, impact me and inspire me in ways u do not know.

just like yest.

thank you for forcing me to face up to reality, to realise that time is running out, and to step out and do something.

i know, i have been weak, scared, feeble, easily intimidated, and your words did stir up something in me.

what a great word that was given in meeting yest.

Step out and run. God will give strength to the feeble knees, that you may RUN. Pick up your mat and walk, and run.

thank you, and thank You.

在华初 lep, 得到最可贵的，是那份对中文、对文学、对写作那份纯真的执着。

刚读了维彪的部落格。feeling nostalgic。

很多人认为，晓亭很勇敢的追求着自己的梦和坚持，不管他人的眼光，读了看似很没有用的中文系。而且对于一个对教书没兴趣，更不知道毕业后要做什么的人，这样的决定是勇敢，是愚蠢，还是。。？

在市侩的世界，那份对文字的热爱，温暖了我的心。

我自叹不如，对于自己为什么在读中文，其实我真的不知道。

文笔我真的没有，学问则不算什么，和这些人的热忱相比，总觉得自己差了这么一大截。

填满了半桶水之后毕业，又算是什么？

允许我自嘲一番。

yest i had a dream. it was kind of a weird dream to appear at this timing, but it was such a vivid dream that i still could remember it when i woke up.



then i heard Michael W. Smith song - Friends. and it fitted my dream so well.



Packing up the dreams God planted

In the fertile soil of you

Can‘t believe the hopes He's granted

Means a chapter in your life is through

But well keep you close as always

It won't even seem you've gone

cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong



Chorus:

And friends are friends forever

If the lord's the lord of them

And a friend will not say never

cause the welcome will not end

Though its hard to let you go

In the Father's hands we know

That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.



With the faith and love God's given

Springing from the hope we know

We will pray the joy you'll live in

Is the strength that now you show

But well keep you close as always

It wont even seem you've gone

cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong



and i dreamt of this image.

我梦见，和想念的两个背影。

也发现，我好久没看见这两个背影了。

i m back from kl!!! yes i noe for many many days already. obviously i m supposed to blog abt it n show u pics. but i m really lz. sorry peeps. wait for inspiration to strike k. haha.

anw, i just want to say.. my dad was so sweetttt tdy!!!

it was raining really heavily and i got a call from him on my way back. he asked where i m n asked if i need him to pick me up!!! n he very nicely picked me up from the mrt so that i dun have to get drenched in the rain. sooooo sweeeet right. it's really rarely that he does that n i m honestly sooo touchedddd. love u daddy!

anw tdy is the second day of sch n i m starting on my readings! r u proud of me?? i m. haha.

here's a pic of me n ce in kl. nice waffles they have there. :)

it was an amazing thanksgiving. really. thank You Lord.

Pastor shared a really good word.

God will watch over the land, from the beginning of the yr till the end. What's more u n my life?

Hold fast to your confidence.

When we appreciated pastor, he shared sth that he really touched my heart

One pastor once said, the best thing we can do in life, is to get up the next morning. despite the challenges, difficulties, obstacles, discouragements, the best thing u can do, is to get up the next morning and continue to do what you should do. Continue to love when u dun feel like loving, serve when u dun feel like serving, praise God when u dun feel like praising God.

wow. i m impacted.

i really have been wondering and thinking. will i really live that "great" life i think i will have? Many ppl told me, ting you have a great destiny in God. i was really starting to doubt that. I din have the confidence to believe that i will really do great things for him. to tell the truth, i m scared. i m scared that i will just stay where i m. that i will never move on, and nv fulfill my destiny.

But what pastor shared really touched my heart.

Hold on to your confidence. Heaven and earth will pass away, but His word will never pass away. Hold on to what God has spoken in your life. thank You Lord.

when the clock struck 12, we ran up and see fireworks. and as i stood there, this was what He said.

烟火短暂，但辉煌。记得，当烟火一开始时，我们真的以为，只是这样而已吗？我们什么都看不到。但是，渐渐的，烟火越来越灿烂。他说，这是你的生命。一开始，看似没怎么样，但是，会越来越璀璨，辉煌。and there will be a legacy left behind. do u believe it? yes i do.

打从心底地说感谢。谢谢你的不离不弃，谢谢你的信任，谢谢你一直相信我。我也要一直为你这样活下去，好吗？

我能够做的，就是在最难过，伤心，失望，沮丧的时候，get up the next morning, and continue to live for You.

once again, it's an awesome awesome priveilege.

my greatest honor will always be.. to serve my Lord and King.

a song for myself, and for u my fren.

每一天都有一些事即将会发生
每段路都有即将要来的路程
每颗心都有值得期待的成份
每个人都有爱上另一个人的可能
相爱就不能害怕会有伤痕
没有人完整却有人能信任 才找到永恒

想到达明天现在就要启程
只有你能带我走向未来的旅程
想到达明天现在就要启程
你能让我看见黑夜过去
天开始明亮的过程

it has been so loong since i blogged.

today i was on my way to ikea. and i got down 2 stops before. it wasn't intentional, and i had to walk a long way to get there. din mind it though, i think i need some time to clear my head.

as i was walking, i heard Him speak. my eyes watered and the vision was blurred. and He said, there's so much more in store, and He held my hand.

记得很久以前的自己，是个爱思考的晓亭，真的。i used to do reflections all the time. 我最讨厌的， 是做一个普通的人。我讨厌普通，讨厌平常，讨厌原封不动，讨厌停滞不前。但是，为什么在我没有发现的情况下，我却渐渐让自己停留在现在。

我需要重新规划我的人生。

this few days have been busy busy cos xmas is coming. aren't u excited? i m! n to make it better, i have new clothes. haha.

i always love the end of the yr, cos it's a time of reflections and thanksgiving, to really look back at what God has done in my life and in the cg, n it's also a time for new hopes and dreams. i m really look forward to 2008. i wanna grow more than ever before and to really come up to another level.

visions and dreams for 2008.

growth n multiplication.

disciples being raised up.

dreams n destinies fulfilled.

people come and people go.

i have learnt that.

and i have learnt, i dun have to be helpless abt it.

when it's time to let go, i will.

readily, willingly, spontaneously.

有些人在你生命中只是个过客，该放手时，就潇洒一点吧。 :)

a chapter is closing, another chapter is beginning.

i m looking forward to 2008. another great yr.

love You!

恶作剧之吻2放映了！呵呵。我刚看了第一集。赞！

有这么一个时候，我曾经问过我自己，如果再发生多一次，我会怎么做，我可以承担吗？

而当时，我给自己的答案是，一定不会发生的。

我想我错了吧。

我以为我可以的，我以为会很容易的，我却发现，并不是这样的。

我很想允许自己脆弱，允许自己掉泪，允许自己自艾自怜，但是，我知道事实不是这样的。

这是一次我真的不知要跟谁说，我需要你聆听的耳朵。

晓亭会不会很感情用事？

是不是太感性？

要我用那铁做的心肠去，我真的做不到。

我可以装着一切都 ok，在夜深人静时，我知道，其实并不是这样的吧。

i will move on. ok?

i missed blogging, missed my laptop. :)

came back feeling heavy-hearted. different things have been happening n i m really exhausted.

breakaway n ignited have been fantastic, although i m really tired.

to add on to that, all the burdens for those different ppl made me heavy.

plus uncle admitted into hospital. and spending many of my evenings there. i wanna be there.

God gave me a wonderful passage last night. thank You.

thank you to MY leaders. u guys are fantastic. i love the times spent with you.

thank you to Sunday (Saturday) boyz. i think u all shld be called Sunday boyz really. becos you guys nv fail to brighten up my Sundays. thank you. it's great that i dun have to say or do anything. i simply enjoy the fellowship. u all may not know what is running thru my mind n life, but your presence and the joy that you bring brightens me every wk. i love my Sundays becos of you, and of cos, becos of Him and His house.

i realised i m really learning to love, and i m loving my members more. but that also means sth else.

to sum it up all, xiaoting is tired. i really nd to tok to somebody but i dunno who. i nd my break. ppl who r supposed to go OS tog, can we pls quickly plan?

xmas is coming. it's gonna be great.

we will end this yr well.

i feel the devil is hitting me left right up down n centre. i dun feel defeated, but i feel tired. i dun have that strength to retaliate. i nd a good break to get up and fight again. i sprained my shoulder, my finger, and maybe my ankle. pray for me won't you? i will walk thru victorious. and i will.

i m feeling upset. n i dun dare to tok to anybody. boohoohoo. n i dun wan to be at home!

过了这么久，我开始更加清楚地看清事实。

记得一开始，有人告诉我，是不需要担心的，因为是短暂的。会过去的。

我勉强相信。到底，人总是需要一个希望的。即使这个希望不明显，只要有一丁点儿，我都宁愿抓住不放。

但是时间过去了。

一切的一切让我更加清楚。我一直以为我很了解的。我也一直很相信的。但是，我对自己也越来越没有信心了。

其实，我不明白的事情有这么多。

不明白他为何能对朋友那么残酷，不明白他怎么能说出如此狠心的话，之后却当着什么也没发生。不明白他为何如此践踏友情，不明白他怎么能把别人的关心当作是理所当然的。

一时的迷失，我可以接受的。

但是，如果是人品的改变，我不可以。

我可以接受人有弱点，我也愿意等到你改变。

但是，如果变得自私，自我，不顾别人的感受，这已经在我能接受的范围之外了。

那某人又说，是时候放手了。

奇怪，说暂时的人是他，叫我松手的人也是他。

我不敢松手，因为我怕我会后悔。

但是。。

我却不知该如何不放手。。

亲爱的读者，如果你能够告诉我，我应该怎么做，我会很开心的。

this SUPER BIG thing happened tdy. wad? i m not gonna tell u. haha. ok this is childish. na, as usual, if u ask me, i will.

anw, i was jus reminded of how good God is.

i remember, if this happened 1/2 yr ago, or 1 yr ago, u will get a totally different reaction from xiaoting.

but tdy, i can say, i m really ok. :) and my frens will testify to that.

there wasn't any anger or sorrow, really, but more concerned for the readers. my God will stand up for me.

and thanks to my frens who readily encouraged. n i told ce. perhaps in the past i would not be like that. but God really strengthened my heart. and i m glad. i used to think i cannot go thru attacks like that. God showed me all things r possible.

we r busy. very. in the natural n in the spiritual.

but God is still very good.

there r times that i m apprehensive. but when i read it, i was thinking. sth great is really going to take place. that is y the devil is trying so hard. n everybody agreeed, it's so random! :)

n in my mind i was jus concerned abt sth else. n i read your blog.

tears used to well up. but this time, it's for a totally different reason.

thank You for showing me it's all worth it.

i m so proud of u girl.

特地为了看“康熙来了”，这个时间才睡。当然，来宾是小猪。

我以前并不能够完全明白，为什么很多人觉得康永哥很厉害。看了这集后，我了解了。

哈哈。

他对小猪和 selina 的逼供，是厉害的。

而从这集，你当然也可以看出一些头绪来。

Selina 真的有快招架不住，小猪真的很不正常。哈哈。你看到小猪这一面，还真的觉得有点奇怪。他认真得有点尴尬。

和 selina 跳舞那一段，他说忘记了。hmm.. 哈哈。整个东西就很有破绽。

i m just amazed. :)

sometimes, no matter how hard people try to cover up, there is still wad u call, "truth" after all.

你的感情，或许会出卖你吧。:) 这是我个人的感觉。it's just a feel n assumption. dun take it too seriously k.

it's weird. i m sitting in long john blogging. haha. cos i had a craving for long john tdy after today's fasting. haha. :) we had a good time praying.

anw, i did sth really exciting tdy. haha. to weijian. but i feel i should not write out the conversation. even though i m very very tempted to. haha. if u ask me in private wad happened, i promise u i will tell u. maybe.

hahha. wj u totally brightened up my day. although i din get to tok to u much nowadays, that one conversation is enough to blow me up!!! haha. thank you. although u were unwilling.

chan eng scolded me. cos she said i abuse my influence. wahahaha. wj did i? she was saying it's very scary to do that. haha. i agree.

i m a busy busy. but happy happy girl. :)

ok. here it goes.

其实，对于小猪的演唱会，我并没有很多很多要说的。

我忘了有没有说过，要看他的演唱会，是因为这是他的第一次，我想分享这个第一次。

看了台湾演唱会的片段后，我不敢对新加坡的有很大的希望，因为我不要失望。

芳已经给了我 warning，新加坡不会那么好。

也对啦。

奇怪的是，那天有好多人到场，都抱着一种“看个究竟”的心态。我不了解。他们是很有钱，然后来看看吗？

新加坡缺少了那种疯狂，这也是所以演唱会的气氛，不会那么的好。but i still enjoyed myself.

小猪唱了那些我们都懂的歌啦，像精舞门，shake it mama shake it, 幸福猎人，chance chance，等等。

他的舞技，依旧是很精湛，歌声，也没有我想象的不好，所以都是不错的。

只是来看演唱会的人不够热情，情绪无法 high 到极点。这是一点点遗憾。

芳希望这场演唱会能很感人，但是少了全心支持他的人，有点困难吧。

但是说实在的，当我听小猪唱好朋友，唱我不会唱歌，我心里确实浮上了一阵感动。

他的真诚，他的认真，在整个商业化底下，还是能够感受到的。

虽然新加坡的歌迷，不能真的感受到那种气氛，但是他的真诚，认真，努力，是有目共睹的。

我，看到了。

it's an experience, really. my first time really paying n going for a concert. 我本来真的真的很兴奋，但是，常常到了actual thing，我总会以平常心对待。only exception is God-related stuff. i will always be excited till the end. i was full of anticipation really, but when we went into indoor, i lost it. haha. i m always like that, i know myself. jus like how i really look forward to the end of exams, but when it has ended, there will never be a whoosh from xiaoting, it jus ended, lor.

yep so that is abt it. i will put up the pics n videos soon. btw, i got really 劲爆 photos of wanquan n yulan n ting.

this is where u see yulan in her "prettiest". stay tuned for more. hurhur.

i m gonna quickly blog and then go out n play. no la. i m getting my friends' beloved presents. hurhur.

虽然忙碌，可是我喜欢这种感觉。

记得在最忙碌的日子，和helen讲话时，我们总会谈到两个是如何喜欢这样fast-paced的life.

we thrive under stress. i think. haha.

我总是认为，最困苦，最忙的日子，会磨练你。

当然，不能盲目的为忙而忙。但是，这样的日子，对你的训练来说，是很棒的。

所以，我还是很开心的。Slack了这么久，可以整个人投入去做一件事情，是一个很棒的感觉。

those who know me, i dun believe anything is impossible. esp ce will noe. that is y i believe in making things happen.

but the last time pst yk toked abt yoido full gospel church, he said, u wun really feel that they tried very hard to make things happen. there is just a flow.

pst kong said yest. when u r connected with God, u can do GREAT things. i believe in that. n the need to get spiritual.

for the month of december, NEW things.

BREAKAWAY the old IGNITED with the new.

u believe it? i do.

just a side note, sometimes i will be very touched during service. n i will really cry in the presence of God. just like yest. He will come in a powerful way n fill me totally on the inside. and everytime i sit beside a friend, (nf that is) they will ask m i ok. sometimes it's kind of embarrassing, but i m pretty much used to it. hurhur. but it's quite funny ah. haha. at the end of the service they will be like, xiaoting r u ok? haha. it's jus sth funny.

anw, i was so excited. yest sze yin (wj's sis) sent me jw's pic. the service was JAMMED PACKED with ppl sitting on all the steps. i m just sooooo excited.

we r living for a time like this. n it is time to rise up, ppl.

i will tok abt xiao zhu soon. dun have time too. another day perhaps. n u may have to wait quite loong. haha.

it was somewhat physically tiring, but i was really really happy to get involved and be part of this.

there must be something greater in store.

BREAKAWAY the old IGNITED with the new.

我发现。。我是一个喜欢很早很早的早晨，和很夜很夜的夜晚的人。

刚才走在大路上，感觉着迎面而来的风，突然发现，我真的很喜欢这个时候，走路的感觉。

宽敞的大街，一个人独自走着。

换成是以前的我，总会在想很多事情。但是，今天的我，什么也没想，就这么走着。

有时候，身旁有许多值得我们去注意，去发现的东西。

不管是晚间的凉风，大街的灯光，在这个晚上，感觉异常特别。

考试完了，但是和往常一样，我并没有特别的放松。或许因为考试一直对我来说，都不是那么重要。生命里，对我而言，还有更多更重要的事。

不是不要付出，而是害怕伤害。

在付出真心和保护自己这两者，告诉我，你会选择什么。

我，迷上了你。迷上了夜里的你。迷上了爱思考的你。迷上了潇洒的你。

迷。上。了。你。

dun read too much into wad i m writing. it's really fictitious in some sense. allow me room, for imagination.

God is good. i was reading the Bible last time before slping. and God gave me this verse.

Ps 94:19

In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.

Dun u think it's a great verse for exam? haha. it took me thru my paper tdy.

Anyway tml is the last day already. i m gonna make it.

still studying at 130am. my eyes r really closing. i m struggling to stay awake. but 小猪's 爱转角brought back fond memories. and brought a smile to my face. jia you xiaoting.

i just ate this really cheap cup noodles that taste awfully nice. yummy.

it's weird that i have 3 papers tml n the day aft tml. but i m not the least urgent. oh gosh. xt work hard for the remaining days k?

to all of u. i will see u in 2 days' time. it's freedom calling me.

Ps 90:12 (NLT)

"Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom."

n that is y, i nd to live every day, moment, minute, second for You.

i nd to live for You.

半夜了，感觉有点累，但是却睡不着。

需要读书，但读不进。

i like this hour.

when i saw ur sms, i could not stop crying. thank u for ur love n concern.

thank you for letting me noe, that it matters. thank you.

i think it is amazing. that for the sake of understanding wad u r writing, i m acty navigating dictionary.com on the other side.

perhaps u r one of the very few who can make me do this.

but i still enjoy reading ur blog. :)

when i saw, i was reminded of how i felt always when i saw on the streets. that love n compassion for these ppl once again arose. God i did remember.

it seems like a faraway dream, but somehow i always wished, that these ppl would be touched.

and i thot, He gave me the desires of my heart.

the communication is not easy, the gap is big, but love can overcome all things.

i pray, You will use us, to make a difference.

lives waiting to be touched out there.

on another notes, jus want to say thank u to my cg members. u guys did an awesome job yest with the bbq. thanks for ur generous service n love towards others.

xiaoting is thankful. for great members like u guys, and for what He is doing.

it's Your kingdom, it's your glory.

unless the Lord build His hse, he who labours labours in vain.

so Lord, build Your hse.

just received a mail from my lecturer. i was sooooo encouraged. i did not find all the literary theories very simple, but i knew i really tried. and i enjoy thinking and reflecting and understanding the theories. my new fave is foucault. wahahaha. i think i m gonna read up more on him. he sounds so interesting. huhur. anyway, i really want to make use of the remaining time in uni. i wanna grow n expand. so gambathe!

i just realised. that in 7 days' time, i m finishing my exams. which also means it's the end of my year 3 sem 1. suddenly, i feel pretty nervous. not because of exams, but because this sem is ending. i kind of dun wan it to, because i have not given myself the chance to put in 100%, and i dun wan to leave uni regretting that i did not give my best.

i only have 10 modules left to fight for.

xiaoting..

in any case, i was mentally n emotionally prepared. BUT. my heart still sank when i saw the sms.

please help me.

i nd the grace n wisdom.

i m jus glad it's all over. and i dunno y, it feels loooong. can't wait for next thurs. but before the 29, i promise i will work hard. really.

does mugging make u tired? cos i m jus simply exhausted. aft a whole day of churning out reports.

i really just want to get it over and done with. really.

想好好的写一些东西。其实，很不喜欢的一件事，就是自己一直在做某件事情，却没有时间去思考自己的人生，这一点，或许跟某人很像吧。

最近很不喜欢思考，因为很讨厌自己在思考的当儿，带来的烦恼。要想的事情太多，越想会越烦，但是这样会导致我开始出现迟钝的状况。没有啦，是开玩笑的，但是如果在停止思考字的生活，应该真的会变笨吧。

talking to terence yest, and he said he totally agreed that i have become less D over the yrs and more I. I probably like myself more for the fact that I have become less D, becos i used to be really demanding and everything. But i really dun like myself for being more I. I can stand ppl being noisy but I can't stand myself being noisy. Wad an irony huh. U must be thinking.. xiaoting r u sure? becos i talk so much all the time. ya but sometimes i jus wish i really can talk less. hur.

I like myself with more 人情味, but i dislike the fact that i think i have become less disciplined over the years and giving myself more room for errors and mistakes. I dun like the fact that I have become less a thinker and more an enjoyer.

I think.. i need to do something more productive with my life.

The last semester, i pushed myself to the max, becos i jus wanted to stretch myself.

But this sem, after SOT, i thot i totally lost my momentum. I hoped i have not lost my cutting edge,

though more I, i want to retain my D-ness still. really. I can't stand low productivity and the wasting of one's life. I love people. but I want to do something more with my life. REALLY.

so i hope and pray I will get down to sth soon. that after this exams, i will make full use of my life. this has been a sem of rest n fun n what's not, and i think, it's time to get down to WORK.

pst once said, we all live to work u noe, and i need to get myself down to doing it.

XIAOTING. quit moping ard ur life.

我爱上这首歌。

总觉得“崇拜”好有意境。

歌词简单 漂亮

我存在你的存在

崇拜：

作词：陈没 作曲：彭学斌 编曲：陈建骐

你的姿态
你的青睐
我存在在你的存在
你以为爱就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜
我活了 我爱了
我都不管了
心爱到疯了恨到酸了就好了
可能的 可以的 真的可惜了
幸福好不容易的怎么你却不敢了呢
我还以为我们能 不同于与别人
我还以为不可能的
不会不可能

你的姿态
你的青睐
我存在在你的存在
你以为爱就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜
风筝有风
海豚有海
我存在在我的存在
所以明白
所以离开
所以不再为爱而爱
自己存在 在你之外

这次的感觉好不一样。

我已经学习如何坦然地去面对。

对自己的成长，我觉得好神奇啊。

不知不觉中，我已经长大了。

和一年前的自己，感觉是多么的不一样。

不是心如止水，是懂得去面对的。

他是信实的。

我还是需要智慧。

但是，这次，少了担心，焦虑和害怕。多了一份信心。

谢谢你。真的。

还有谢谢一位特别的先生。我好喜欢他给的advice.

encouraging n practical.

all things work tog for the good of those who love Him.

u believe it? i do. :)

off to my first exam.

keep me in ur prayers k?

i m quite glad it's starting. n will be over in no time.

突然对布拉格这个地方好有憧憬。其实，全世界当中，我最向往的一个地方是欧洲。

希望。。 有一天我可到那里backpacking。好幸福啊！

也希望我可以到欧洲度蜜月。:P (我知道，这样老公要很有钱哦！)

my heart melted when i saw the pics. u r in for a treat.

these r pictures of Prague, the capital city of Czech Republic.

I will be there one day. I can't wait!

o昨晚坐在克毅的车上，谈起以前的事。最近的我们很少说话，但是如果要聊起以前，他是更适合不过的人选了。跟他说话时，总会想起从前。并不是因为他很老，但只是因为我们俩经过了这么多，现在仍是朋友。虽然性格上差这么多，我们还是很了解彼此的。享受这样的谈话。a walk down memory lane.

a Song for u, my friend.

Vitamin C Graduation Song

And so we talked all night
About the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year
We won't be coming back
No more hanging out
Cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now
Cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing
Like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you
And then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

Chorus:
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
A nd as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever
So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now,
Will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything
We learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job
That won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

Repeat chorus
La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow
Like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

we r gonna walk thru this.

i wun say it's a tribulation. but i noe it's a frustration. n i noe, it's the devil.

n so this time round, i m going to be so focused.

i m going to be in Christ and in peace.

and i know, i will overcome my exams, overcome the obstacles.

becos..

all things work tog for the good of those who love Him.

and so..

all things r gonna work tog for me..

and for my cg E357.

it's gonna happen.

let hearts be revealed.

i wonder wad i need to do. i have been thinking. n i CANNOT afford to get distracted. but it seems, like 101 things that are coming in the way.

Ps 78:70-72

"He also chose David His servant, and took him from the sheepfolds; from following the ewes that had young He brought him, to shepherd Jacob His people and Israel His inheritance. So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart and guided them by the skilfulness of his hands. "


the desires of my heart.

it's such an awesome day for sleeping. i love the weather. recently i have become like a 宅女。i like staying at home really. :)

this is for you.

“说出来会被嘲笑的梦想，才有实践的价值。即使跌倒了，姿势也会很豪迈。” -九把刀

i have been thinking quite a bit. thoughts running thru my mind. anw i m really getting down to studying. wish me all the best.

i did it. i sat in front on my com from 530am till now leh. and finished my assignment. gosh i m soooo tired. but i m leaving hse in an hr. :) 3 cheers to xiaoting!

and one last assignment to go.

okkk. it's my turn to blog about night cycling. :)

if u realise, it's actually 730am in the morning. yes i woke up at 530 this morning to do my work. and i slept at 2 mind you. but this is all for procrastinating la. it's not becos xiaoting is hardworking.

anyway, abt night cycling.

unknown to many, i always wanted to go night cycling. yes although i m not that good at cycling. (and that is y i always have to cycle at ecp. so sad. cos i dun dare to cycle from m hse to ecp. i think i will be knocked down by a car or sth) and really, it was not so ez cycling on the main roads! i was trying so hard to manoeveur and at the same time trying to assure myself not to be scared. waahaha.

so really, i was quite happy cycling from ecp to changi village. it's so much easier to cycle cannn.

anw, if u wanna noe the details, jus read ying's blog la. i m lazy to re-narrate everything she said.

but main point is, we had a SLOOOWW time cycling from ecp to joo chiat becos terence said we shld go whampoa. i m quite glad we din though. i dunno how i would have survived the night.

and u can imagine how pissed weijian is when we stopped for bak kut teh after cycling for.. 15mins? haha. and he was so stunned until he refused to eat. (till i force him to of cos). haha. anw, it's xiaoting great idea for night cycling la. so i m responsible. and i m quite convinced, that next time nobody, at least not the guys will go night cycling with me again.

well the main trip goes, we cycled all the way to changi village, n it was a loooong ardous journey. the road that knows no end. but i really enjoyed myself on the way there. :) it's so nice cycling at that hour.

we ended up at changi village. it's ulu really. and while cycling back, i fell! crashed into a pillar ok? and it's the first time i fell becos of cycling. shooo sad. and the saddest thing is i sprained my last finger. n mind u, it's really the first time. it kinda hurts yest morning, and swelled like mad. but it's quite ok now la. and amazing ken said it's blue black. i woke up this morning.. and yes it's really blue black. i wanted to show u guys a pic of the blue-blackness but my cam on low batt and i m lazy! haha. n now i realise how impt ur pinkie is to u. it's super inconvenient. i can't even brush my teeth properly la.

and so after falling down, i really felt very sian plus the road is so difficult to cycle on! haix. n it rained. n after terence's non-stop persuading, we cabbed back. haha.

now...

apologies to weijian. :P sorry man. i think he must have been so heart-broken. cos he had such a great dream about us cycling all night, but yet we were so slow and we stop for bak kut teh! and we complained and whined... that we had to cycle so far and the poor boy had to bear with us. not that he has a choice la. one side is forest, the other side is runway. haaha. and appreciation for bringing us so far.

and to weijian n mx. we r so proud of u guys! the four of us r so ko ya.. coming back in a cab. but they braved the rain leh! n cycled back from tamp to ecp in like 45 mins. *we r proud of u say we r proud of u!* and i think it's a great thing that we din cycle back. we would have suffered like mad. they r our heroes for that day. :)

n so that is abt it.. i m still suffering after effects of my fall. but after such an eventful night, i came back, and BATHED, (this is very impt) and slept until 6pm.

i really did enjoy myself. n like wad i told terence, while we r young, we shld really just try everything. n i m glad i embarked on this trip. love u guys!

after note, i think the guys will refuse to go cycling with us anymore. so for the next trip, maybe we shld just stick to cycling n picnicking at ecp? haha.

pics another day k? i m getting back to doing assignments.

and i promised myself, after such an adventure. ireally nd to get down to mugging for the next 20 days. yes i can do it.

i have a feeling. i m not going to do so well for this exam. how???

i confess..

that i havent been faithfully studying.

and i feel that i have really lagged in my momentum. and to add on to that, i dun feel the urgency.

i dunno is it becos i m too free or wad.

but i m not feeling urgent.

and i nd to. becos exams r coming up in 6 days.

and i just got a horrible grade for my assignment. the same module for exam next wk.

the next time u see me, tell me to study. i nd to.

if not i m going to screw up this exam. and i dun wan to pull down my gpa.

and i m not as smart as u think i m.

Pst Kong on This is your day

http://www.bennyhinn.org/television/default.cfm?show=E3A20237E123B85271165A00E87871C5

weijian is going to love me for this i think.

for a change this time, i think jay chou's new album is really not bad!

i used to like him abit.. in the beginning with all those songs like 简单爱 and 龙卷风。but after that, i liked him a lot lesser n i used to get quite exasperated that everything is just so similar!

well, my personal perspective of him changed when i watched 不能说的秘密。

i wun say that the movie is 5 stars, but i know that for the first try, he did a fantastic job, and he is really talented. but for his music.. u noe...

and i m pleasantly surprised by 《我很忙》。

it did impress me really.

at least there is a change. n i like the latest cowboy image.

and i feel there is a bit of change in the music. though some things still remained the same.

BUT. at least i would bother to enough to really listen to this album. hee.

my fren sent me this quote. and i was really blessed by it.

everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.

everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive.

u noe a lot of times, ppl will ask me, xt can i do this, xt can i do that..

y can't i do this.. y can't i do that..

i thought this quote really sums it up all.

and he ended the msg with.

do it all for the glory of God!

when i feel sad, somehow this song always cheer me up.

weird right? it's supposed to be a sad song. but there's sth special abt it.

ken will disagree, but i think it's a great song.

Beautiful Girls. (sorry peeps i can't put the original one up， jus listen k? haha)

i thought it is not so easy being a leader after all.

not that i once thought it was la.

but truth is, like wad fang said, there shld be a balance after all.

haix.

有时候，要做好人很难 hor?

that is y God i said, i need ur help and alot alot of wisdom. n no room for assumption.