No more running wild
I'm yours for life
Well You got me here
You got me

I hear Your call tonight
Your heart is mine
Well You got me here
You got me

The second time we sang it for service, i think.
But i fell in love with the song.

Missed Pastor Kong so much, and I was so glad that he was back to preach again.
What a powerful word in season.

What we heard, what was spoken these few days was really thought-provoking.

and yes, how many will really heed the call, to move on, and not stay where we r?

i felt a lot when i was singing this song on Sun. Having been through those things, when i sang it, tears filled my eyes. i was really telling the Lord, no more running wild, i'm Yours for life.

for many years, i heeded the call, run for the vision, yet holding on to those many things in my heart. Lord can i do this? Lord can i do that?

and yet after all these things, i come back realising, His way is always the best way. and suddenly, i just feel so satisfied doing what He wants me to do.

if i was asked to give up all these for the Lord, i would gladly do it. it's a promise Lord. from me to You.

was reading a few friends' blog.

was walking out of my tuition kid's condo, on a sat evening, seeing all the kids swimming and the families bbq-ing.

and then i started to feel, i think i need to do sth for my soul.

you know recently, with juggling so many things, it seems like i m not seeing where i m going.

i was telling my fren, it doesn't make sense for me to drop everything in sing and go northeast asia, when i m up to my head with things.

and i was still feeling overwhelmed by so many things.

then that day when i was on my way to settling my visa, the Holy Spirit spoke to me, reminded me.

ting, isn't that wad u always wanted to do? northeast asia?

hasn't it been in ur heart?

and then i started to realise the big-ness of it all.

i m seeing destiny unfold right in front of me. and yet i almost missed it.

suddenly, it was like.. magic.

i m really going. in 8 days' time.

that dream 4 years ago, that i tremble at, cry at, is coming to pass.

sometimes i m living so much in wad i m doing, that i fail to see the significance of it all.

guys, remind me.

i love you!

it has not been such an easy week. i m starting to feel the heat.

was toking to ting yest, then ended up with this conclusion that this is gonna be my life.

i m a lil stretched, and ting mentioned that i have been stretched before.

but i felt that i m now living in a different season. it's not a season of stretching, it's stretching permanently.

though doing a lot of things at the same time, i really dun wan to be overwhelmed. i dun wan to drown, i want to be swimming at ease.

and i noe, in order to do that, i need Him.

but i m living in exciting times! things are happening, and i feel it.

there's so much in store for us.

a fren reminded me, for such a time as this, we are made.

wad an apt description.

and just like how David served his generation by the will of God, i want to do that as well.

BIGGER dreams, GREATER works.

how ironical, to realise, after so long, i really dun know u.

perhaps sometimes the closer u r , the higher the expectations would be of the other party.

that's y sometimes, i'm just afraid of getting too close.

i am afraid i would put all my expectations on u, and end up with lots of frustrations, just like umpteen years ago, or actually, it wasn't that long.

sometimes, i realise, the fault is not w a person, but differences between men. which God has placed in all of us.

so xiaoting, stop that nonsensical thinking of urs.

yes pls.

you know, recently i have been facing this.

101 thots running thru my mind, and none, or close to none, i can,or know how to pen down.

currently using jt's laptop. (thanks jt!)

everything's great, except that i cant type chinese!!!

can u imagine that?

lol//

God kept on bringing this up the last few weeks.

It has been ringing in me.

And today, sth broke on the inside.

Can i really do it?

MY said sth the other day, and the tears just flowed.

she spoke into sth inside.

and today I asked,

is it all too late? can i still do it?

then He said,

I will restore back to you the years the locusts have eaten away.

and there i was, thankful .

after yest.



i wish that i was bolder, and less fearful.



i wish that i was more confident, and less insecure.



i wish that i would dream bigger dreams, and be less limited.



i wish, n i wish.



recently, my dad has always been waiting for me to come back.



that is so sweet.

to all my faithful readers, my com is down.

haha.

after i returned my friend's laptop to her, now my pc is down too.

haix.

praying that God will deliver a miracle. maybe when i m home, there will be a new com? haha.

i will pray for that.

for now, suffering from withdrawal symptoms. lol.

dun miss me yeah? ciao.

blogging. acty lots of thoughts r running thru my mind nowadays, but there r too many to blog.

till another time.

i haven blogged for 15days. wad an achievement. haha.

it has been a wonderful wkend. meeting minorE ppl, i almost forgot how it felt like to be part of inferno. and i miss the ah-huatness in everybody, as usual, esp ah huat. lol. he's incredibly funny la. amazingly i sat thru the whole day, just a lil tired at the end.

a lot of things r happening. it's the "happening" season. but my heart has never felt this peaceful.

had a wonderful time of fellowship with pst, vic, von, meiyan and the ldrs. it was amazing. i love the fellowship, and i went home, with a big smile on my face.

and i wonder, God wad have i done, that u place such amazing ppl and leaders in my life.

truly, i was so happy. i love my leaders. really.

finally told meiyan sth that is in my heart.

it has been running thru my mind. a little too much. haha. so i m glad i said it.

and i really appreciate the smile. it feels good to have support.

but for now, it's time to focus.

i did nth for one whole day. goodness gracious.

it's really really time, to discipline myself, and do GREAT things, for thy kingdom.

love you!!!!!! like never before.

ok. i have had that little bit of time. so i decided to just do a proper post for everybody.

seriously, it feels TOTALLY weird not to be in church on a sunday morning. i cannot remember for how long i have been attending service EVERY SUNDAY. and suddenly, to be able to slp in on sunday morning feels totally funny. haha.

anyway, ok this is the birthday post i owe everybody. (:

so here's the story.

my members have tried really hard to think of a bday surprise for me, because this yr we r just so into surprises. hahahaha. it just gets from glory to glory.

so..

they thot of this cinderella story, and turned me into the cinderella for the day(s). haha. on sat night(26 Jul), i received this sms from an unknown no.. sth like do u want to noe how the cinderella's story unfold (in chinese), stay tuned to find out! something like that la. haha. n i thot the no looks awfully familiar, so it turns out to be ting's sis' no.

then 845 am on sun morning, my 3 stepsisters (and a step brother, ie. the AHS girls plus 1 AHS guy) turned up at my main gate with breakfast. (awww so sweet, but alas i dun drink soya milk. ya they bought that) they pretended to be my stepsisters, ordering me to do chores and all before heading down to church. haha. and i was in a maddd rush running to church!!!

and after the service, they celebrated my bday, gave me my presents (which i really like- a pair of glam-looking wedges and bag from river island, and a eye-shadow base from mac) and told me i must wear them for my "ball" on monday. that was the first time i rem my cg praying for me, and that was cool. (:

and i spent the afternoon in my aunty's house, celebrating with my cousins and all. and it's amazing how much blessing i received. thank You Jesus.

and after dinner with my dad and sister, i met wj n mx n did some awfully lame stuff. cos i cannot even rem what i did. haha.

ok let's fast forward to my birthday k? haha.

i was supposed to meet wj n mx in town to sing k. and the irritating guys din want to sing k box and wanted party world, only becos it's 4 dollars cheaper, which i felt was dumb la. haha. so i unwillingly went with them to party world, and it's so funny, cos they were like passing msges to one another n all, (it's hard to ignore) and it was totally obvious sth is going to happen. HAHAHA. how to not see when there's only 3 ppl in the room and 2 idiotic guys r like passing the hp ard? and running every other moment out of the room to make calls? hahahaha.

so after singing for 2.5 hours, n wj insisted on finishing forever love, which i will post up soon, wj picked up a tiara, a pair of sunglasses and note from outside the note. i was supposed to put them on, and the sunglasses is opaque, so i could not see at all. (ok except for one small slit)

to cut the long story short, they brought me up the bus, to suntec, walked me thru the malls and brought me to a salon for my makeover. so i was supposed to keep my eyes closed until my hair cut was done, which i did, and wad u see now is the final result. 劲爆. to the max la.

then they made me close my eyes, brought me out of the salon, and we had a go at "the bachelorette" to choose my prince charming la. so it ended up with jj and they accompanied me to my dinner at ps. haha.

u can tell i'm really lz after a while, cos it's an awfully long post! so here's for the impt stuff. anyway i'll post up pics soon yeah?

to my cg, i have said it many times i guess, but YOU ARE APPRECIATED!!!! haha. it's a beautiful surprise, and ppl asked me, how could u allow ur members to do that to u??? but well i told i'm in good hands, and when i told my fren, he said that ur members really love u!!! which i agree, so guys, THANK YOU!!! i feel weird telling u guys such stuff face to face la, but i really love u all. E357 really rocks! and I LOVE U ALL!

to my CGCs, u have done an awfully great job and thank you for running with me for the vision all these while!

seriously E357, u r the most fantastic members any leader could ask for. :)

and to wj n mx, thanks guys for all the efforts. really appreciate ur company and all. u guys have been great frens to xt!

and to MY subzone, THANKS for being my fellow c0-workers.

and to my bestest frens, good frens and all, (u all know who u r)
thanx for always being there for me thru thick and thin. i appreciate the fact that all of u r a phone call away, and u nv fail to be there for me when i need u. thanks for the company always and always, for investing time into my life, for believing in me, for all the encouragement and the edification, for running this race with me, for inspiring me always, to do greater things for God.

did i tell u?

i m truly humbled by His mercy and grace. and i m eternally grateful that He placed all of u in my life.

i'm entering into the 23rd year, a new phase of my life. it's gonna be great.

with lots of love,
ting (:

i admit, i m not feeling too good.

if i m so unaffected, then it's so inhuman.

it hurts me becos it hurts my loved ones.

i saw my dad, n i know it hurts.

God, it does hurt. take care of it won't u?

when i recalled how we sat there, i thought to myself.

i cannot never imagine it possible.

then i thought

if it really happens,

it can only be God.

suddenly, i was reminded of the pain 12 years back. it's an awfully long time.

i m so supposed to update on my very exciting 22nd birthday. but i m just a little too tired.

it has been awesome though.

my biggest thank you goes out to all who made my day. you guys rock, really.

to my cg, i m amazed by you guys. thanks for your love! i will specially put up a post in dedication to you guys k? haha. i love the cinderella story. n i enjoy being a princess. haha.

to my dearest frens in MY subzone: guys, my warmest thanks goes out to you, for always being there for me, for being my frens, and my fellow co-workers. indeed it's a great priveilege to serve God together with you.

to the many many who wished me happy birthday, over msn, phone, sms etc etc, i m touched! :) and i have not finished replying them yet. haha.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and last but not least, i thank YOU for being in my life, for bringing these great frens into my midst, for putting me in a great physical and spiritual family, for never failing me, for being the very reason of my existence. for without You, all these would not have been possible.

love You Lord.

promise i will put up a proper post soon. ciao for now!!!

近期来，因为需要休息，星期六下午总会在家。或许，人老了，总会珍惜在家里的时光。哈哈。

因为星期六下午在家，所以爱上了《白色巨塔》。

爱上这部剧的原因有很多，当然其中之一是因为言承旭。喜欢他的率直和热忱，总觉得他是一个不一样的艺人。

很久没有看到这么有深度的电视剧了。

最近的电视剧，多数以偶像剧为主。i'm not complaining, 因为我自己也常追看。但是，这样的一部写实剧，真的很难得。像蔡导说的，他希望《白》不仅仅是电视商品，而我认为，他做到了。

这部剧很精彩，跳叙的手法，人物的多层面，让剧情更贴近生活。

故事中的许多瑕疵和不完美，让人更能感觉它贴近人生。

真的是 一部很精彩的作品。

我好想买下dvd来珍藏。(:

我真的很喜欢言承旭。

when is the right time to step out.

wad is the critical balance.

this has been the question for so long.

i m struggling.

i gave up many opportunities cos i was afraid that i made the wrong choice.

i am thinking.

when is the right time to go out.

he said, so u r going to get out of your well.

my well.

these things have been tugging at my heart.

show me how to live
teach me in your ways
that i may walk with u all my days.

currently in ntu-nus camp. i m supposed to be home sleeping! but in the end i ended up staying here la. it's so weird that i end up slping in nus tonight. haha.

anyway i just wanted to say, heard a word that was being shared today that was really good. it was a very short word, but it did hit me pretty much.

yet once more.

and i felt God speaking into my heart.

yet once more.

and i was so reminded of wad God has been speaking to us over this whole season.

you know, there are many decisions i need to make, many things i need to think abt, many things i need to settle. gee.

the sleep debt i incurred last wk cos of en104 has not been repaid yet, so i m still feeling fatigue.

but camp has been fun so far la. :)

i hope i get some time to sleep, pray, rest and think about wad i want to do for the rest of the yr.

and sth very interesting happened tdy.

it might have excited me last time, but not now.

and now, off to fright night. hur.

xiaoting. u have to stop running helter skelter doing 101 things at one time.

xiaoting u r only one person. and u only have 24 hours.

can u focus focus and focus? focus on what is impt girl.

jia you.

每一次想到这事情，心里总有一丝丝的难过。

想到。。你第一个想到的人不是我。。

想到。。我们不再是最好的朋友。。

我真的。。 常常。。 感到那一点的遗憾。

和心痛。

the en104 hangover hit me today.

lol.

i was feeling pretty alive when i went for pm last night, and even after coming back, i din feel exhausted and all. but this morning when i woke up, the fatigue really hit me.

and the funny thing is, i was so tired, that on the way back in the bus, i was dozing off. this is unusual, because i was with my member! but i was so tired that i could not keep my eyes open. following which i needed to go out with my dad, and i literally slept from the beginning till the end. usually i will take that time to tok to daddy, but i was really too tired. and now, i m still feeling it. :)

wanted to update more and tok more on stuff, but perhaps after i have really recuperated. the fatigue is getting to me, and i can already see the 101 things i need to do this coming wk. and before anything, it's the ntu-nus camp. haha. lol i will back in sch again.

watching dark knight tml yeah. (:

so the game is officially over. hurhurhur. it was actually a very exciting game, and i realised, my threshold for no sleep has gone up one notch higher. it's crazy how i can analyse numbers when i have not slept for like 24-48 hours. wahahaha.

in the past one wk, we were playing this game called marketplace. J told me that it is a very very fun game, which i totally agree, and my group really went through the highs and the lows. and after a week of little sleep, the game is finally over, with us ending in 23 million debt, and i wonder what is gg to happen at the end of the day.

but this experience was cool, and from the bottom of my heart, i love inferno!!!! hahaha. we r a bunch of crazy idiots, who just totally whacked it after we hit riddo. wahahahahaha. and there were like so many crazy moments, and though we end up heavily in debt, we had tons tons of fun. INFERNO U ROCK. haha. i will post up pics n videos k? on uncle ben's game theory, ah huat's ah huat-ed moment, and i think our whole team just ah-huated. wahahhaa.

this is the end of en101-en104, and i wonder wad will happen to us after en104. But i had a total lot of fun through this, especially en104! and i think, one more time, my team rocks like mad. wahahaha. i love u guys! hurhurhur.

k la more updates after tday. i m feeling very alive, and looking forward to a week of rest before starting to pia again. and today i realised, freak i have not started on my FYP! haha.

k guys i will see u all. my beloved helen is back. date me!

in a nutshell, this is what i am studying for, for tml's exam. but to tell the truth, i still dun understand assets, liabilities and owner's equity. urgh. and why is a partnership good? i see no advantage whatsoever. in case u r wondering wad exam i m having tml, it's ACCOUNTING. the big A word.

u noe over the past few weeks, the comment that i get is i look tired. everybody just says i look tired! and G was so kua zhang to say i looked pale n tired!!!!!! goodness. and someone told me, it's that lack of energy in me. then i know what she is toking abt. it's that lack of energy.

thank God i am getting it back this wk, haha. to be able to be toking to chan eng on the train all the way.. is so xiaoting. hurhur. but i m so excited abt what i shared, and i loved the possibilities that was posed to me simply through toking to ppl. i m so glad...

this exam really doesn't feel like an exam. maybe for the fact that the percentage is not THAT high, but it is still high la. 30% leh. come on xiaoting focus. :P

finally i got a good look at who xiao jing teng is from bai fen bai yest. honestly, hmm, he doesn't look that fantastic next to xiao zhu. wahahahaha. but he is still quite cool la. esp his billard skills. how he thrashed xiao zhu WOWed me. hurhur.

back to mugging.

i sound like a bimbo. but i miss shopping. i realise chi bi is a really really nice show. catch it with me anyone?

i miss..

hanging out with my frens.

the 61 gang.

slacking and doing nothing.

having a life.

shopping.

i miss.. my cg and their nonsensical what-nots!

1.5 weeks more to go. to be exact. it's 10 days.

this is the question that has come up time and time again.

is worth it right? ha.

there's such a change in mindset and stuff.

indeed once u r stretched u will never go back to the same again.

yest i was in a pm. what touched me was the passion that i heard n felt in my soul. that passion that breaks u. that testimony that blows your mind.

seriously, i m very excited to noe what is in store. haha. in all aspects.

i cant help, but still be in a blown-away state right now. i m still blown away, period.

He shows up in ways i have never imagined. God always surprises me, really.

thank you for being so real to each and every one of us, for being here. your very presence touched my heart in a big way. i m humbled, bowed over. thank you for touching hearts and changing lives. i can't help, but be in awe.

a lot of things r running thru my mind. all the different experiences this past month, what has happened, what not, what i have learned. i felt like i m in a whole new dimension. God has been really good, and i have been relying on His grace. :)

from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

i led one of the best worships i ever led tdy. he came n touched everyone, just like that. God moves in amazing ways isn't it?

i surrender all.

i feel like this on the inside.

i cannot help but feel like going on and on about my rantings for the day, excited by the fact that i have no sch for one wk.

this one month felt like eternity.

thus, while i'm listening to presentations, i m dreaming away in lala land, thinking abt wad i do tdy, tml, day after tml, thinking about the many million ppl i will meet, 100 million things i will do, and frankly, the exam in 7 days' time is way low on my ttd list. WAHAHA.

was just reading a friend's blog, and rem about last night. seriously, to step into jw, to clap n sing like that, was woww. i felt a little drained, but i m happy with what God has done.

to think abt what is in store, the kind of changes i will be moving into, excite me.

i have been placed into strategic places, meet certain ppl, which me n j agree, is DIVINE.

i wonder what is in store. i m starting to really think, what i want to do one yr from now.

it was a fruitful talk, amidst our crappy tiredness.

a lot of things went thru my mind, things that i did not have time to think about, thoughts that suddenly crossed my mind.

just past the halfway mark, i was just looking back.

it is indeed an experience. and like what i told him, it really expanded my horizons. it touched my heart that someone knew exactly what i was toking about. but i just felt a little torn. and a little tug in the heart.

but now when i think abt it, there must be a way right? when GPDI's doctors and businessmen were mentioned. they r really the new breed.

wad to do.. where to go.. the involvement?

i wonder..

but i felt like this is another level.

he asked, r u ready to take up the cultural mandate?

it's a whole new chapter.

i'm loving it. :)

taking my first step.. a little scared.. a little apprehensive.. but excited n expectant.

show me.

上个星期，许多许多事情的发生，让我措手不及。我好久，都没有处于这样的状况，因此，我只能感觉惊慌失措。也让我发现，朋友的重要。

i was just a little disappointed. by ur decision. it seems not easy to befriend somebody all over again. i asked myself if i have gone too far, but i could not come to a decision. perhaps it has never mattered to you in the first place, but i wonder, why did it not even matter to you in the first place? what was the criterion for friends?

我发现，真的很不容易。

才渐渐了解，the marketplace is not for weaklings. 哈哈。

一语惊醒梦中人。不知道，为何同样的事会发生？连 ahma 都觉得我好笑。他和他的相似度，令我惊奇。哈哈。还好，我学聪明了。

回到宿舍，不喜欢离家的感觉。但是，扭开收音机，又开始喜欢这个夜晚的宁静，听着音乐，我好喜欢这种感觉。:)

i was very impacted, is it by svc today, or pm. touched. by how he met me. and spoke to me.

we were first called to enjoy his presence, before we do anything else isn't it? ya.

women are called, to be a supporter of the man's vision, isn't it? ya.

having said all, i would still choose you.

it's a promise.

i surrender all.

有人问我,值得吗? 当时,我真的不知该怎么回答. 昨天回家的路途上,我在想,应该是值得的吧. 但是, 今早, 带着疲惫的身体, 我只能说, 我不知道.

但是, 昨天让我遇到的人与事, 真的很神奇, 让心里的一股热血沸腾, 而我这才了解, 他为何忙, 为什么而忙.

是神奇的.

问我以后要做什么. 我真的不知.

带我去一个很棒的地方吧.

thank you for all u standing by. is it the support, the standing in the gap, the understanding, it is much appreciated. i feel sad to miss out on some stuff, yet i know it's definitely a give and take situation. it will be over in no time.

ting jia you. (:

to quote someone, it has been a perfectly horrid day.

i cannot rem when was the last time i felt like this.

but thank God for all of u who stood by me. i feel blessed.

thanx for the listening ear, the encouragements, the concerns, and for being there.

your presence made a big difference.

n what God told me in the morning came to pass.

thanx.

i will be strong.

yest night, when i thot abt not needing to wake up at 6. it felt STRANGE. i cannot rem when was the last time i slept till 12pm. n i wanted to go to work, cos it's really weird to be doing nothing, but in the end i was too sick that i gave up.

i m learning to enjoy this, n it was fun listening to different ppl's idea. i'm glad ours was so simple. haha. tml we start again, n i might be moving to hall for a week.

seriously, it feels so weird to be home that i dunno wad to do already. haha. everybody told me i shld rest. but wad do u do when u r resting? (:

ciao

I M HAPPY!!!!!!!!! BEFORE MY NEXT PROJECT STARTS ON THURS. TML I M FREE!!!! HAHA. N....... I HAVE A NEW PROJECT COMING UP ON THURS. WAHAHAHAHA.

DID I TELL U, I M STARTING TO ENJOY. N I LOVE MY TEAM MATES. HAHA.

something that i felt sad about, because of the busy schedule, is the lack of fellowship with friends and people. i miss my friends and my life! haha. many times when i talk to them or meet up with them, i would be so exhausted i don't really have much energy to talk or to communicate. just want to say Sorry guys for not having enough time to spend with u! sounds weird but awfully true. :(

and to someone that called last night, my sincere apologies. you know i m really too exhausted, so hang on there for a while k? n i really appreciate u pressing into my life.

and to all who stood by me, xiaoting says thank u. thank u for putting up with my complaints, my mia-ing, for willing to be my fren even though u noe i m so bz i have no time to tok to u. thanks for all ur understanding, i'll be back soon! haha. and to those who rose up n stand in the gap, u r much appreciated.

thanks for all the help rendered really, the encouragement in time of need, want u to know, frens, u make part of me. it is God, and it is you who keep me going. another few more weeks to go, n i will be through.

jia you. (:

reality hit when i reached home. w/o the lappy beside my bed, i just feel a little empty, and realised how impt computer is to my life. i simply cannot live without msn u noe. haha. but anyway, there's no news on it la. well i m still hoping n praying, somehow maybe sth will happen. if not God will be nice enough to bless me with a new laptop i hope. (: after hearing what my fren said, i might really consider switching to apple. haha. well, that is if i dun get it back la. :P k let's pray hard. cg tml n attending weddings! yay! haha. thank God for a pc at home. n for frens who were there n encouraging. thanks peeps.

i m just feeling a teeny weeny little upset. really. just that teeny weeny little bit.

i wish i have a little more faith. but i guess i m just a little tired too.

it doesn't help when u r hit, physically, mentally and emotionally.

i need to keep this going strong babe. girl u can do it.

my dear Lord, u r there right?

i cannot remember when was the last time i dreaded sch. i really loved sch a lot, even doing projects and assignments. but nowadays, sch is getting really dreadful. haix.i need to adjust my mentality and attitude to this thingy to start embracing business and business ideas. urgh. i spend a bit more time sleeping last night. so i m a bit happier. (:

but i had a great time in church praying tdy. i love going to church early n praying in the hse of God.

记得那个承诺：不离不弃。

i want to go taiwan!!!!!!!!! suddenly i just feel like i want to be there for the youth camps.. haix. but it seems like it may not be so possible. i m crossing my fingers n hoping n praying! (:

God answered my prayers. (: after i prayed last wk. and yest's meeting was really good. God really spoke to me, taught me certain things, teach me what to do, where to go and things like that. and a big thank you to my beloved classmate for driving me to school. i am appreciative. (:

i need Your grace!

tiredness has a new definition in my dictionary. haha. but i m loving my life. really. (:

En101's project has been completed!

this wk, i will be down praying in jw every morning. it is fantastic. the presence of God is so strong among our midst. God is certainly moving.

(:

a big thanks to my co-host, for making these 2 days such fun fun time. i had a great time hosting with him, he was so funny, hilarious and relaxed. (: it's nice to meet a new friend like that. thanks sir!

and a big thanks for my friend. thanks for the card. (: it was timely, encouraging and unexpected. your acts of love and service really touch my heart. love being your fren.

i have safely finished one week, still alive and kicking. it's the start of a new one. though i was physically a little exhausted, i had a lot of great company and fun. at hosting the father's day buffet, i m telling u, my co-host was really good! haha. many ppl said it was great so praise God for that! and we had quite abit of fun at michelle's party. happy to catch up with the frens that i have missed. (:

thanking God, for the awesome ppl He has placed in my life. love Ya.

i wanted to... just take some time off. do nth, slack, and blog.

even when i blog, i do it in such a big hurry nowadays it irritates me. so, i m just going to ignore all tiredness and do what i want to do. ha.

讨厌格格不入的感觉

不知道有多久

没有踏入一个陌生的环境

而开始感觉 不自在

有时候

我并没有那么喜欢自己

不安全感 慢慢爬了进来

我讨厌！无法做回自己

请帮我 找知音

i din feel good and comfortable. maybe i was trying hard not to be myself. i miss all the good company but i realised i really need to step out. just wish that i would stop trying so hard.

hosted for father's day buffet today. it was really fun. haha. i had a fun co-host and i had a great time. it was fun toking to brian, eric and the rest, they gave me a really interesting perspective to matchmaking. it was an eye-opener, so this is what it is like. haha. tired, but i din feel stressed. which is good. i'm enjoying. one more day n my wkend is over. n it's back to sch again.

i felt like i want to grumble etc etc, but tdy, sth on the inside reminded me, come on ting, u can do better than this. n i rem the word that was given to me, you r being strengthened on the inside. indeed i m. and i started to realise, yes i m busy, but i m definitely not limited. xiaoting u can do it. (:

let's look forward.. to something more.

it has been a crazy life since monday.

i cannot remember when was the last time i slept so little for such a long period of time.

and i am amazed i am hanging on, just that everytime i hit home, it's almost immediately my head hits the bed.

and it's only the first module.

i need Your grace.

you know i always wanted to be stretched, to expand myself, because i know, when you are stretched, your life will not go back to the same again.

and i am being stretched.

since monday, the earliest i am home was yest, i reached home at 930. from sch. ha.

i was telling ahma this is so not xiaoting u know? i used to stay in sch for almost only precisely 20 hours a week. now is entirely different.

i need to pray, need to seek Your face, need to love You. (:

it's the 4th day, and it's going strong. 14 days feel like a long time, i wonder how pastor does it.

i'm supposed to blog abt this shock that hit me yest, but i guess it's becos i was so tired, i was so shocked. haha. or the other way round, whatever it is.

n i started to think. whenever i walk on the streets, there are so many ppl i know that i would bump into. some are just meant to be visitors, some meant to be passers-by, some meant to be here for a lifetime. and i cannot imagine how many ppl have passed thru my life. and yest, i was reminded of one of them. relationship is such an amazing thing isn't it? i felt that's the power of viral marketing. and sometimes i wonder, who are meant to pass by, who are meant to stay, who are meant to be thee frens.. that last for a lifetime? i was reminded of what pst robb said.

k i m going off to pray. xiaoting jia you.

i was supposed to have gone out, but someone was very efficient and in the end i dun need to.

i m feeling bammed. fatigue.

i have muscleaches on my arms, shoulders, back, thighs and calves. haha.

so kua zhang right? i know.

3 days of OBS. i felt like it was ok yest. but totally, i m officially cui-ed.

to update, the night before OBS, i was trying to settle everything and pack. In the end, i slept at 430 am before waking up at 630 am to leave home and go for OBS. gosh. i was telling myself xiaoting u r mad. it's supposed to be xiong to the max and u r like almost dead already.

but amazingly, i survived. haha.

and God was good, cos on the first day, we just had a lot of team activities, which were not very strenous. and then we went out to learn kayaking, with the capsize drills and stuff. That was abt the most tiring thing we did. i thot we would end early la, but we were discussing some stuff for the next day, so i slept at 12 plus, woke up at 6am, 2nd day into OBS, and i have already lost my voice.

i m like super scared of heights, but then on the 2nd day, we had to do the high elements. honestly, cos i had already braced myself for it, it went ok. n it really helped when the ppl down there were cheering n telling u exactly wad to do. i love my team. haha. they were really really funny and fun to be with. we had uncountable fun moments. and i did go up the high elements. i wanted to try the really really high one, but it rained, so that really dampened our mood.

and after that, it was trekking. haha. we were supposed to walk to the other side of ubin. but acty, it was not that tiring, n we kept on taking photos along the way!!! we were like really enjoying ourselves n having fun.. and then we camped by the beach, and i was saboed into being one of the leaders for our sea expetition.

we were supposed to trek back to OBS camp, then change and kayak round ubin.

and we were supposed to leave our campsite at 6 plus, but they "turned us out" at 3am to go back to camp. n we only got 3 hrs of slp?? but it was ok la.

seriously, i thot that i will die in the sea or sth. haha. cos i just cannot make it!!!! but amazingly, i picked a super super good partner, who is a 2-star kayaker, and basically, he was the one paddling most of the way. n i learnt! not to kayak with my arm strength, but also with my back strength, and becos of my very zai partner, i had a lot of fun seriously.

to tell the truth, i learned to love the outdoors. esp during the kayaking. the sky was really pretty, the air was fresh, the water was cool and it was great fun. i felt bad cos most of the ppl really like pushed on thru, but for me, it was relaxing, and seriously, i m very very appreciative of my partner.

wad did i take back from OBS? our trainer asked us.

i m just glad i made it. n i realised, whether is it physically, mentally, spiritually, when i want to, it can be done. n i m just glad.

it was fun getting to know these ppl. different, fun. overall, i just had a lot of fun. haha. we really did a lot of nonsensical things, and i'm looking forward to the minor.

on another note,

sometimes i really feel it's inadequate. and the word came at such a time, and i cried and i cried and i cried. i really want to believe u for sth greater, and i pray, we would see that coming to pass.

would u believe? that it can be done. that there is something greater in store.

it has been burning in me.

that there must be something more.

updates for OBS coming up next. stay tuned!

it was an enjoyable time, not as gruelling as i expected it to be.it was good. (:

sth that hit me when i first reached that

"You cannot discover new oceans unless you first lose sight of the shore."

it was so apt for me.

camp alive tml. (: it's gonna be OUTSTANDING.

okk. my loooong awaited post. it has been such a long time since i blogged. though 1 week is not supposed to be that long, but still i do feel it's an awfully long time. u too right babes? haha.

first up, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ZHANG TINGTING! for her bday on 27 may. (:

and second up, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YEO YONG XIANG! for his bday on 28 may. (: (he's my long lost good fren that just came back from philippines. lol.)

and third up, (like there's such a word) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIM BAY HUNG!

and guess wad, it's the end of my post. wahahhaa. jus kidding la.

i dunno wad to say also. but anyway, i just want to say.

it's so amazing how i always wanted to know that person, for his amazing talent, and God opened a way last yr.

and it's so amazing how i always wanted to know this person, for some reason that i will not disclose, and God opened a way again. i was so excited when i saw him walk into the room.

and for that matter, i m going to start praying, that i get to meet my 偶像。he's so awesome it's just such a privilege to be his friend. haha. he writes really well, and he's really smart. a God-lover and yet talented.

i love to meet God-lovers and talented ppl all over the world.

just in case i won't have time to blog, i will be in ubin from mon to wed. running n trekking n climbing n swimming somewhere. i pray i would be back in a piece, to get ready for camp ALIVE! u would pray for me too won't u? haha. if u want me back in a piece. and yes,

7 MORE DAYS TO CAMP ALIVE! R U READY FOR THE TIME OF UR LIFE?? (((:

this is my 600th post. :) i m so proud of this blog, really.

感叹时间的流逝。聚在一起时，才发现，有这么多朋友已经要踏入社会，这才让我感受到自己一年后就要毕业的真实感。

这六月，我将会踏出自己很大的一步。我以为自己是个冒险家，却惊然发现，人都是喜欢躲在自己最舒服的角落的。那么，我只好强迫自己，离开舒适的精神状态，挑战自己。

对于我是否能胜任，我真的不知道。但是，在我心中，却冒出这样一个慰藉，只要我想，我一定可以的。但是，却记得今天和jy讲的，it's not what I have, but it's who You are.

所以，我会很珍惜六月这段日子。我希望，我会锻炼出一个很坚强的晓亭。经一事，长一智。i hope that i will be able to stretch myself in a great way, but it's not me but You. Let it be that i will grow, intellectually, but also spiritually, and see You moving in a great way.

no eye has seen.

我永远不会忘记
主你那丰富恩典
如今我在天父怀中
因为你舍下自己

你不看我的过去
只是完全接纳我
主你的爱何等伟大
我的心完全融化

我亲爱救主
我心何等感谢
你单单在意
我这爱你的心
我愿一生
追求跟随我主
谦卑为你 服事这世界

我亲爱救主
我要一生敬拜
在我生命中
你是唯一的爱
毫无保留
我愿献上所有
何等渴慕能为你而活 耶稣我主

动人的歌。

the bigness. the dedication. the glory. enthralls me greatly.

there must be something more.

we have not arrived.

if only you would pray.

i purposed in my heart that i m going to blog. but my life is so boring that u wun want to do wad's up. just kidding la. haha. i went sentosa again on mon, almost had a heatstroke. the heat is so scary nowadays. no kidding. anw the heat was so overwhelming i dunno wad else to say. haha. but then, i still din get tanned. i wonder wad is wrong. ha. and we celebrated the sat boyz birthday. it was a really lame time we had. the only word i would say is LAME. haha. pics another time ba, but they r also really lame pics!!! n mx was the ultimate la. but he was funny. and i went home totally exhausted.

had a wonderful mtg w pastor last night, and he taught us this song. it really melted my heart, and i woke up with this song in my head.

let's return, back to the first love.

and teach me how to pray.

ok i m going to do a quick one, i wanna go running again.

sorry that i took so long to update, the last post was actually typed in sentosa, while i was waiting for my fren at the internet kiosk. and yes, i went sentosa on mon!

you wun acty believe it, becos i went shopping b4 that, and i only reached sentosa at 8pm! but seriously, there is another side to sentosa in the night, and i simply love it. i m really glad at the end of the day i told my fren that i would go. :) although i was v upset with some stuff. haha.

we took the sky ride, had fun with the luge, and it was really a great time. i needed the air, i needed the break, and i knew that. i think the best thing was toking with my fren, i seriously din think toking would help, becos i was feeling all so moody, but i realised, it did help, even though just a little bit.

and to my fren, just want to say thank you, although once again u will not read this, and u r really so terrible sometimes. but somehow toking to u always help, and u seem to noe what i m going thru, and seem to understand me in the spiritual. for some reason, that little contact we have is always magnified in the spiritual and i treasure my fellowship with u. although there r times i still feel you're terrible, and i only get to talk to u like 10times a year, but i m glad it's always quality time. like wad i have said, u never fail to make me think, and without me saying, u seem to always be able to know and sense a lot of things, and i m really appreciative of this friendship we have. sometimes i feel you're moving on so fast and it scares me, but to think again, we're just different. i seem to be taking things slow nowadays, hopefully not too slow.

but anw, back to sentosa. i sat at siloso beach toking to God at 1 am, and He spoke to me. Ting the deeper the water, the bigger the ship it can carry. If you noe what God is toking abt. i dun really want to explain la. those of u who knew what happened, u prob understand. and i m really thankful, that He was there, spoke to me and made my day.

then i told God i will pick up, and the next day in pm He came and blew me away. I really pray it will not stop there. there must be sth more isn't it?

it has been quite crazy ever since exams ended. i noe. i seem to be online lesser and lesser, coming home later and later, but all this time serving God, praying is so well spent. and now, i m excited, though nervous and scared at the same time abt what is going to happen.

that's all peeps for my long update. i may be gg sentosa again on mon, if not i dunno wad i'll be doing. haha. but i m gonna take a break definitely. it's another wkend in the spirit. i promise u. haha. we have really been praying a lot lately!!!! but it is good. amen.

spirit, blow us away. yes Lord, blow me away.

amfeelingnotsoup.imataplacethatthespacebarisnotworkingwell,soidecidedtoblogw/ospacebars.haha.imatsentosa!

byeeepeeeps.

每一年，最想念你的时刻，不是7月14，也不是4月22，而是这个时候。

小时候的我，从来没有机会好好说谢谢。也因为太小太不懂事，总觉得你好凶，但是到了今天，除了感激，也是思念吧。

成长的那个环境，不是那么完美，但你却还是教会了我坚强

是你让我发觉，念书，教育的重要，直到今天，还是这样。

对华文的热忱，也是在你的耳濡目染下。

回忆总是会慢慢的褪色，但我希望，我仅剩下的一丁点儿记忆，会一直被保存着。

母亲节快乐。

it is amazing. how God speaks. ever since a few weeks ago, He has been burning things in my heart. and today, once again, He reminded me of the vision.

a new generation of disciples. u remember? it was there already, a few years ago.

i never realise how close i was, until He opened my eyes.

He is really a good God.

God has really been speaking to me, in prayer meetings, in my quiet time, He has been laying the vision once again. Remind me of things He has spoken, inspire faith in my heart. I am so grateful.

a new generation of disciples He said.

breakthru He said.

spirit of faith He said.

be like Joshua and Caleb He said.

disciples of a different spirit. who will follow Him fully.

i m so touched by the word. tdy when i read the Bible, i teared. becos He said.

i m not a man that i would lie. whatever i have spoken, it shall surely come to pass.

my God is moving.

sth is happening.

i m so excited, on the inside.

and yes, we will pray.

it was a packed week after exams. i was so bz i really din get time to just rest n spend time with myself. as a result? i m really tired. even though i slept. i woke up feeling like...

又有那种心痛的感觉。

我已经很久

没有如此掉下眼泪

我讨厌

凭空的誓言

空洞的话语

当初，我在不得已下，做了这个决定。

还不容易，整理思绪，整装待发。

但是。。

我终究逃不过失望的命运。

ok i sound emo. that is bad. just some rantings from yest. let's not talk the talk pls. it's hurtful to some extent. n i pray, God will give me my aaron and hur, joshua and caleb.

disappointments r so inevitable. but sometimes, when they r ppl close to ur heart, it's just crushes u on the inside.

anyway

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY SOON JIAN YONG!

he's one of the funniest guys i have met in my life. lol. thanx for all the joy n laughter u brought. keep on loving Him more each day!

and with this, i will close. going off. thinking wad shld i do to dissipitate my exhaustion. haha.

ok. i m so supposed to blog i noe. this is my long overdue post. i m sorry my faithful readers, for the disappointment. u r supposed to like get a glimpse of xiaoting's oh-so-exciting post-exam life. i noe! but i have nth much for u leh.haha.

ok so here goes. i ended on wed, supposing at a disgustig hr of 7pm, but i could not take it any longer and decided to leave simpy at 630. God bless my paper. seriously, that is becos by that time, almost of the ppl r gone. u take 1hr to finish the paper only. haha. then i was supposed to go suntec and do some *ahem ahem* stuff, and realised, i could not!!! i was so disappointed and went to sit in hair inn with fang doing her hair. i felt so sad la. i wasted the 1st 4 hrs of my post exam away.

then..

we were supposed to go to lakeside fishing village for prawn fishing. jeanie was trying! but that place was really not very nice la. it din have a nice smell, and there were a lot of flies. but we already bought like a lot of bbq food (and a lot means, crabsticks, hotdogs, nuggets, marshmellow AND more crabsticks AND more hotdogs and yadayada) so we decided we shall go west coast park n bbq. so, jeanie drove to holland v and we bought the charcoal and stuff. then we went to west coast park.

so it's my first time there! and i like the place somehow. i dunno y. it's tranquil. and so we reached there at.. a whooping 2am! and start bbq-ing at 3? haha.and finished at 4am? it was just madness. but the food was plain delicious. i love hotdogs n nuggets. haha. thanx mx and jt. :):) then we chilled out at mac and i took the first train and SLEPT all the way.

now i m feeling tired. haha. but anyway it has been a very exciting post exam, but i dun really have time to play. we need to get down to doin stuff. and yes, i feel like my life is constantly about giving ppl surprises,i m just cracking my brain all the time abt how to SURPRISE YOU.haha. so surprising right? it's just fun hanging out with my members la. they have a great sense of humour. and jy just cracked the joke of the week. want to noe? ask me. it's crazy cos it's really so funny. anyway, i m just glad that your God is a miracle healer and he answers prayers and loves me and you. i totally agree! yeah. hahahhaa. it's funny. so happy 18th my dearest alice. we have improved. becos u r surprised. haha.

ok i will try to get some pics up. the rest probably at facebk or multiply. jus look out for them la hor. i realised, the ppl around me r really very funny. there is so much joy in my life. i feel blissful.

anw i have officially started work peeps. it's a money world, and yes i nd money. whahaha. k it's a long long post. we shall see again. maybe aft a pretty long tme. :)

I REALLY CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO BE OVER.

was just listening to a song and felt like blogging. it has been a long time since last wk that i m going to sleep at this unearthly hour, and this time always makes me feel like blogging.

sorry peeps i m just going to blog some spiritual stuff. realised i have been doing that quite a bit nowadays.

it was a good meeting tdy n i enjoyed fellowshipping with pastor, but i was happy about what God spoke to me abt.

i have been wondering what's the next level like, and somehow He gave me a glimpse of it, and He kept on reminding me the things He has spoken to me. i felt it. the next level.

anyway, i m touching freedom in abt 15hours' time. it sure does not feel good to end exam at 7pm. but i will do well ya? i pray n i mug. hurhur. all the best guys.. and after that, it's really freedom.

i dun have much time to play, but the thought of meeting my frens, toking laughing n fellowshipping makes me happy. although i dun have a lot of time to enjoy, but i hope i will be able to let my hair down.

toking abt hair, hopefully get a new hairstyle too. :)

ciao peeps!

red symbolises my exhilaration.u feel it?

看完了恶作剧。 超棒的！虽然有人觉得 恶作剧2吻没有这么好看，但是，它真的是会让你想追看下去的戏，因为湘琴和直树的感情真的感觉好真挚！在片尾时，他们写道，湘琴和直树的爱情会一直延续下去。。陪伴着我们。。还真的有这种感觉。ok i sound like a total 花痴。

刚看了文茜的世界周报。哇。i like the issues brought up by her. a lot of insights. it was good! :)

k la i m going to get back to studying. honestly i feel bored lor. haix.

i felt last night. that all hell was going to break loose. or has already broken loose. and i dun like it, when i feel like i m right. so irritating.

and tdy, one happened aft another, and i feel a little tired, angry, frustrated.

i noe, i nd strength to fight. and it's another battle, another war.

i just feel a little tired. but it's ok, i will get up again.

like wad pastor said tdy, sometimes, u just have to be on the offensive. ya man.

i thot i did everything i could, din i? but last night he spoke thru a verse. that showed me the way into another world.

i need to find a way, to escape and to destress.

GIRL, fight the good fight of faith!

today i was watching huiying's match. and God impressed me on sth.

He said, it's not abt how u start, it's abt how u end.

although how u start is impt, the more impt thing is, how do u end.

"He who has started a good work within you will complete it"

Then i realise, why He impressed that verse in my heart, to fight the good fight, run the race, keep the faith.

and i purpose in my heart.

I WANT TO END WELL.

i feel a little drained at the end of the night.

was just toking to fang one of the days, and before i knew it, i shared sth that i have hidden inside me for a long time, even w/o me realising it.

i feel, sometimes i just nd frens. nd to have conversations for enjoyment, nd the fellowship to just relax a little. it's good to be serious, but sometimes i nd just a little fun n relaxation.

anyway, here's a big thank you to a fren.

thanx for the company, and the help rendered, for i could not have made it thru HL211 without you. God has been good, and you have been a really faithful friend as well! i enjoyed the company throughout this sem, thank you my fren. u r awesome. gratitude from the bottom of my heart. and yes i promise, i will treat you to a nice meal. haha.

God has been awfully good to me. i feel overwhelmed for all that He has done.

He is just amazing, don't you think so?

studied till 3 plus am yest night. n crazily, i dunno y, i could not get to sleep. i tried, n i ended up praying, and turning n tossing till past 4am.

this morning cecilia called me at 730am.

n i was feeling real tired, till i saw a sms, and it woke me up n i started praying.

burdened.really.

God we do what we can, pls do what we cannot.

if only you would pray.

was feeling just a little overwhelmed. received a sms, then received a call, which made me feel torn.

then I went to Him.

and He came.

swept me in His arms. and u noe everything is ok.

i just want to love Him more. pray more, seek Him more, read the Bible more.

i just want to be "more" of a Christian.

i just want to live "more" of the lifestyle i should be living.

i want to exemplify.

i want to carry the presence. and the anointing.

Prov 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.

thanks my fren. although u always always "question" my decisions, u really always make me think more. and u've changed! in the midst of our busy exams, i m really really glad u called. thanx for the constant reminder(s).

i m blessed to have frens like u guys. ppl who inspire me, challenge me, motivate me. guys, i m appreciative. thanx.

blogging. blogging. and blogging.

xq said i m really a blogger. i will tell u that.. i m really blogging profusely, but it's only becos it's the exam period. i really feel, that after next wk, i may be a rare guest here, or maybe not.

i feel horrid. dun ask me y. it's not the first time i go on such little sleep, but it was just not good though the paper went perfectly ok. i feel so drained. m going to slp in a while's time.

i m supposed to say TGIF! but i'm not really so keen, cos i need to study for mon's paper, within that very cramped time. BUT still. thank God it's friday, cos i m really looking forward to service this weekend.

the house of God, where His presence dwells. is just...

keep me in prayers pls guys! thanx. :)

i noe! i m blogging like there's no tomorrow. well, to show u all that i m really mugging, i must blog at this unearthly hour to testify to it. hurhur. just wanted to say sth funny. i was mugging, and my player was on shuffle mode, n i heard kok wee and jjj's voice, oh man, i had a good laugh. it was such good entertainment in the midst of my mugging. thanx guys, ur voice brightens up my day.

and to my dearest fren, THANK YOUUU!!! for never failing to wake me up n reminding to study. u r AMAZING!! hahaha. n u r like one of the best in giving me wake-up calls can? u r like so effective. so i m really really very appreciative. n u gonna do well so dun worry abt it! haha.

i m researching on 228 at this unearthly hour. hahhaha. but well, it's gonna be day break soon, n i do appreciate the sunrise. :) n it's only at this hour, that i can mug n be on msn at the same time.

byeeee peeps.

my fren posted this song, and i was reminded how i happened to hear it again in my com, and my heart was so warmed by it.

one more moment.

one more post before i hit the books again. m feeling a little exhausted after the many calls, but made connections with just that some ppl, n i m glad. :)

i cannot imagine how life will be like after exams, n i noe, it's time to get up n fight again.

was just toking to yulan, and yes, i was reminded of those thoughts i once had but had put behind for quite a while. u all really can afford to.

in abt 12 hrs, is my next exam. oh man that feels scary. i m really going back again. i feel a little overwhelmed in my heart, but i cannot really put it in words as to how and why i feel this way, so perhaps, just another time.

take care peeps.