i was really thrilled tdy, when i sat in front of the both of them, hearing their exchanges.

2 people that i admire a lot a lot.

i feel myself bubbling w excitement.

dun ask me how i get here. I dunno. it's just trusting n following Him all the way.

reminded again and again. it's a privilege.

xiaoting dun you forget that.

and everytime i'm reminded of my inadequacies, i'm also reminded of His grace.

你的恩典是足够我用的。

(:

it's amazing how God fulfils dreams, and put people in my life.

i love my life.

i am dead scared.

n in times like this, Your word is my only assurance.

it hurt me deeply. for one reason. that u r close to my heart.

i knew it was not going to be easy, and i m not complaining, cos i love wad i am doing.

but, i am upset, becos of ur attitudes, and lack of love.

我发现，这里真的有点死气沉沉。哈哈。

通常，不写博客的原因只有两个。1. 真的不想写。2. 真的太忙了。

不如你来猜猜，这次是哪一个？

这一路走来，很不容易，却也让我非常兴奋。祂正在做伟大的事。

星期五那晚，我带着一个朋友，到了张牧师的聚会。我几乎是从头哭到尾的。

起初，是神的感动。

我们唱的一首歌，让眼泪不住的流。

之后，张牧师讲的道，让我很感动，也很享受。

这里，或许从今以后，都会常常以中文的姿态出现。哈哈。

希望在这里，也可以看到自己中文的成长。

过了一段时间，我会回到这里，和大家讲述，这一个月来的奇妙旅程。

好赞。

i prayed, surprise me Lord. and You did.

what's more, u really knew what my heart was thinking, and gave me what i wanted.

once again.

humbled. and wanting to be thankful.

Isa 55:8-13

For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
“ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
“ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
“ For you shall go out with joy,
And be led out with peace;
The mountains and the hills
Shall break forth into singing before you,
And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,
And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;
And it shall be to the LORD for a name,
For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

as the tears flowed, i remembered my call, and this is what He said.

impossible. is. nothing.

you know as a leader, there r some ppl who r close to ur heart.

there r many reasons for that, but one of those, is because u have a place in their hearts.

每一次见到，回来后，我都无比的悸动。

真的。

he is one of those, who has touched me in a big way.

i really really miss him a lot.

n sitting there, i marvelled at how they have grown, and soon to be men.

you really do, have a special place in my heart.

like how an elder sister loves a brother.

praying praying for u. and feeling a lot.

it feels more like a dream than reality, cos most of the time, i feel like i m floating, instead of living.

it has been a challenge this wk, n my tolerance for lack of slp, has gone up to the next level.

having slept 7 hrs in 2 days, i m still blogging away at 1148pm. haha.

i did interpretation these 2 days for SOT in the afternoon.

a lot a lot of fun. i love it.

i'm loving my life, though i struggle to stay awake quite a bit of the time.

n sidenote, soon finally managed to get his shoes!!!!!!!! after so manyyyyyy mths, thank God.

很久没有写部落格了。

在和szeyin说话时，提到我坐在黑暗中。

听起来很奇怪，可是有时候，我喜欢黑夜带来的平静。

我需要时间独处，思考，感受生命，感受自己，感受祂的同在。

今天在翻译室里，和她的一番话，深深的感动了我。

我享受，珍惜每一次和她相处的时间。

it's a God moment.

这个星期的起起伏伏，差点儿就让我招架不住。

但是，一切都要随祂的意成就了。

这将是一个振奋人心的旅程。

你，准备好了吗？

我不知道，有什么词汇可以形容我现在的心情。

to tell you the truth, i'm very very touched. by you.

it was just a decision, to trust and obey.

speechless.

just a sidenote.

i have just been paying a little more attention to the soccer games. 'cos i have members supporting liverpool and member (note the singular) supporting man u.

and so, this season, i'm particularly interested.

i'm not an avid fan of any, but i'm just amazed to see, by how confident man u was, to liverpool thrashing aston villa 5-0.

can someone explain to me what is happening? it's blowing me away.

喜欢星期天凌晨的这个时间。

感慨。

真的很喜欢心星的泪光。

虽然是偶像剧，却让我哭的稀里哗啦。

感动。

这出剧很真实。

里头的爱，挣扎，冲突，刻骨铭心不停的牵引着我。

喜欢完全投身于一个故事，似乎把自己的感觉都寄托在里头。

--------------------------------------------------------

结束后，就一直在忙。

我不讨厌忙碌，却十分厌恶盲碌。

忙得，我连自己都感觉不到。

告诉自己，明天要放个大假，好好的感受自己。

我想好好的思考，未来的路，到底要怎么走。

-------------------------------------------------------

好像麻木了。

更好像和最深层的自己脱节了。

i need solitude.

门打开了。

快得令人无法置信。

我心想，真的这样就可以？

今天，证实了我的想法。

没有不劳而获的事。

你愿意吗？

你准备好了吗？

SERIOUSLY.

I CANNOT TELL U HOW EXCITED I AM.

THAT AFTER 12PM TML. I AM A FREE MAN. OR RATHER, A FREE WOMAN.

LIKE FREEEEEEEE.

SPELL FREEDOM.

more than my desires,

i want to do Your will more.

it's not always easy, but Lord, i want you in my life more than anything else in this world.

and so i m willing to sacrifice.

stress.

one of my looooonnnggggg time good friend emailed me. n i feel so excited.

i havent seen her or talked to her for so long!

missed her a lot!

n though i'm dead tired, i wanna fellowship w her!

i miss him a lot.

and almost forgot, how close he is to my heart.

我一想到，到家时，不需要急着睡觉，明天起来写论文，而可以看心星的泪光，就超开心的。哈哈。

然后想到，明天睡到几点都可以，这样的感觉。。。

好棒哦！ 哈哈。

虽然还没完全完成啦。哈哈。

原本以为，写完后，会大叫一声，然后欢呼，谁知道，写完后，却有不踏实的感觉踏进来。

突然害怕了。

突然畏缩了。

i really hope everything's ok.

on another note, i really finished 20,000 words. in fact, i wrote 21,000. hahaha.

i feel that i m shortchanging my readers, if i do not pen this down. haha.

was just reading my blog, and i mentioned, how God really answered my prayers the other time.

well on fri night, i was toking to MY about this long-time dream of mine, that i thought would take a while to come to pass.

u wun believe it. i was just thinking.. how nice it would be if i can ...... (do this thing)

and the next day, i had a God-encounter in church with one of the most amazing ppl i know.

i know, it almost felt like a dream.

and this amazing person offered me a chance, to fulfill this long-time dream of mine.

and my jaws dropped. when she told me, i asked her,

"u mean i really can????"

and she said," OF COURSE!!!"

and so, i m ever closer, to what He has called me to.

it's so amazing, that there's no other words to describe it.

sometimes i feel like i m not living on earth anymore.

because it feels like heaven.

and u must be wondering, xiaoting wad r u toking abt?

you will see it, if u get a chance. haha. VERY VERY SOON!!

exciting!~

and i can only say.

my God is so good. like wad this person shared with me, we're nothing without Him.

and i know, without You, all this would not have been possible.

thank You for hearing, and answering, yet once again. love you a lot.

WISDOM.

DILIGENCE.

PREPARATION.

WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS.

excited.

MY LATEST LOVE!!!!

just a really quick one before i run off to cg, wanted to pen my thoughts.

i remembered hearing at the Global Leadership and Mentoring Congress, from one of the speakers, that

"leaders produce leaders".

This statement hit me in a big way.

The strength of leadership is not merely in the number of followers u have, but the number of leaders u produce.

and i m glad to see, that after 4 yrs of cg ministry, i m seeing leaders being raised up in my ministry.

it's exciting, not just seeing them grow in God, but seeing them become world-shakers n history-makers as well.

and i am thankful for all my mentors, past, present and future, who have believed in me and discipled me, that i can be who i am today.

and now it is time, to take that and to believe in others, and see them realising the potential in themselves.

it has always been my dream.

to raise up a new generation of young ppl, who loves God wholeheartedly, loves people fervently, a people who will lay down their lives, for the kingdom of God. (:

it's such a cool day. and God has been doing so much that i feel so excited on the inside.

i started the day at 730am, when i was late for breakfast w ken n weijian.

and i ended my day at 1am, ending my supper plus crazy time w dong, ting, ying n kitty.

it has just been a whole lot of fun. :)

ahaha. n great fellowship. n lots of craziness.

thanks peeps. u guys r so amazing. haha.

just a sidenote, i feel REALLY excited for all my dear ones who are going sot. just have that feel, that God is going to do AMAZING things. it's really cool. i can almost see it. (:

i love my life. BIG TIME.

it may sound like just another statement that i make, but i can't help but say, my God is really amazing.

recently He has been answering my prayers in such amazing ways, that i can't help but be dumbfounded.

it is either i m really learning how to pray specifically, or He is trying to tell me sth.

when I pray, i really see His hand at work. and i mean really.

literally unfolds before my eyes.

and He just answered another of my prayers and questions, just like that.

sometimes my God is faster than light. haha.

there was one time that I prayed, that He will be sooooo real to me in my life.

He is answering this prayer too.

Because He has never been so real in my life.

thank You for remembering, and hearing, and answering. You are amazing.

突然发现，我最喜欢的时间，是7点钟。

不管是早晨7点钟，还是傍晚7点钟，都有吸引人的地方。

或许我喜欢的，只是早起的太阳，和傍晚的夕阳。

傍晚的7点钟，总是给人一种很奇妙的感觉。

那种，一天的努力后，回到一个幸福的家，香味扑鼻的晚餐，呵呵，很有画面。

今天在回家的路上，看到彩虹。

彩虹是多么美好的一个东西。

告诉你，不管雨下得多大，阳光总在风雨后。

可惜，很少会有这种机会在这个时间回家。

可能十年后，会有机会体验这样的生活。(:

prov 4:23

watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life.

老爸很厉害。

我只睡了几个小时，咳了两下，他就知道我病了。我都还没觉得呢。

但是今天醒来时，喉咙那种连吞口水都痛的感觉，真是不好受。

又是新的一天。

本来应该很开心的，但是因为那好像永远写也写不完的论文，让我每天都想不要醒过来去面对。

这样消极的态度，不是晓亭。我知道。

但谈到此事，我就忍不住叹气。

晓亭加油吧。

不可这样哦。

我们要乐观，积极的面对。

加油吧。

dr dyson spoke into my heart. haha. and what sze yin shared with me on fri night really encouraged and touched me in a big way. thanks girl, if you're reading. (:

one thing that dr dyson shared that really impacted me, was that he said that the man must be spiritually sensitive. that is really something that has been in my heart always. i m very attracted to guys who are spiritual, people who hear from God and are broken to God. and that must rank like no.1 on my list or something. haha.

another thing he shared, is about the right one. i won't attempt to summarise what he said here. haha. u got to check it online. but it is really a revelation.

whatever dr dyson shared gave me a very good perspective, on how to pray, what to pray and what to expect. thank You! (:

God has been awfully good nowadays. really.

a lot of questions, a lot of doubts, He is starting to answer them all.

and it's amazingly fast, 'cos i will wonder today, and He will answer tml.

and He just answered some of my questions today. Again.

i will share another time. haha.

and i had a very fun time toking to sze yin yest and today. haha.

and whatever that i shared w her, God answered it all today. my God is cool man.

it's strange how my emotions have been swinging like crazy this week. and i dun think that is a good thing, so i am trying to put a stop to it.

had a good time at emerge today. the most impt of all, was how God spoke to me, again and again. (:

was touched by what annabel shared. and at the end of the service, God reminded me again. When i was kneeling there singing "we wholly follow you", tears flowed and God brought me back to the old days. and He asked me, if I would always be willing to serve Him like that. I was crying and telling God, like what bel shared, everything may change, we may become sophisticated, but that heart of worship and dedication to God will never change. it's the same love that was there, 14 yrs ago, and i want to be at that secret place always. loved the presence of the Lord.

strong presence of God, and was touched by Him once again. yes i will serve Him.

and what pst zhuang said stuck in me, sometimes we allow circumstances to cause our attitudes to turn sour.

help me to have a right attitude always Lord.

and, i really do love you.

a lot.

thank you for everything.

昨晚，和个朋友有一了段有趣的对话。

有时候，我特别喜欢和一些人聊天。

他们当中，有一些特别了解我，总能挑战我的底线。

其他，总能让我开始思考，反省一些更重要的事。

是这些友谊，让我成为今天的晓亭。

(:

i like conversations that make me think. and leave sth longer, than the conversation itself.

sometimes, i feel really frustrated, and i feel like whining, complaining, why me!

sometimes, i feel really negative, and feel like ending this all.

and sometimes, and sometimes.

during these "sometimes", He will gently remind me, that in the multitude of words, sin is not lacking.

in these "sometimes", He will remind me, negativity is not from Him.

in these "sometimes", He will stop me, and remind me to contain it all.

i cannot change people, and i cannot change my circumstances.

but i can change myself, and how i respond to situations ard me.

that was wad pst tan shared before.

when i change myself, i change my family, and change my community, and change my society, and change my nation, eventually changing the world.

that is what Confucius said too.

修身齐家治国平天下。

change starts, from me today.

to quote pst tan, BIG change is possible.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

suddenly, a renewed love for reading. so i bought like 6 second-hand books just now.

from the alchemist:

"Why don't people's hearts tell them to continue to follow their dreams?" the boy asked the alchemist.

"Because that's what makes a heart suffer most, and hearts don't like to suffer."

to solve the mystery yest, here it goes.

one of the most amazing thing happened last night.

i was talking to God about something on sunday night. it was a very sad time, and that explains the not-so-positive post u saw. i din pray abt it; i merely talked to God and told God some stuff.

and you know what????

God spoke to someone regarding the very same thing i prayed!!! like the very next day!!!

and it's so impt to me becos God gave me my answers. He was trying to prove me wrong, and getting me to change my route.

WOW.

i cannot tell u, how amazed i was last time. and how happy i am now.

and the kind of feeling is like,

God remembered me. and He cares about me. (: every single aspect of my life.

dear God, i am touched n humbled.

my revelation for today.

it takes maturity, to move beyond superficiality.

my dear friend,

we r proud of you say we r proud of you!

i was just dumbfounded, flabbergasted, overwhelmed by what God did.

i cant reveal the details here.

but it must be one of the moments, that God is so real.

Dear God, thank You.

thank You for the reassurance, for the encouragement, and for clearing the doubts.

i m blessed. and i really love You a lot.

You are amazing. (:

i like being home at this time. (:

it's peaceful and tranquil.

it's returning home time.

to offset the negativity felt in the previous posts, and finally regaining my sleep. this are happy pics for you to enjoy. (:



thanks for the flowers! nope it's not from an admirer. haha. i m not a flower. i m a gardener. haha. i only remembered receiving sunflowers and stalks of roses before. so this must be the first bouquet i have received!

i love clarke quay riverside a lot. it must be one of my fave places in sing. i love the rivers, the waters and the oceans. (:

v day's outing.

nice pic! but my hair is messy. lol.

we had fun on v day and yest night. just that i m really tired. took so long to recover.

i realised, it doesn't really hurt to do nothing. sometimes i just want to sit down somewhere, and stare and rot and stone. nah. prob more to think. haha.

yest while i was walking home, i rem someone that i admired once took off her shoes and walked. and i decided, let's try it too.

and i did. it was a little painful. cos i was walking on the main road. but it was really fun.

on another note, i miss ecp a lot. for some reason.

i admit. that it is really an emo night.

i cannot believe, how tears are flowing as i am typing this post.

the tears that have been hidden inside for so many days.

beneath the smile and laughter, there r a lot of heartaches.

i carry the burdens of others and fight for them. i wish someone will fight for me too.

i hate the superficiality. i really do.

i m afraid of being hurt. i really am.

i talked to meiyan abt it last wk, and when i was praying abt it in morning prayer, the tears just flowed. i told God, daddy it hurts a lot. and i never want to go back to the place again.

and i felt a teeny weeny little bit of that pain tonight.

Proverbs 12:8

"A man will be commended according to his wisdom, but he who is of a perverse heart will be despised."

God was speaking to me from this verse today. Somehow He has been toking to me a lot abt wisdom.

wisdom.

humility.

patience.

brokenness.

preparation.

to enter into your Promised Land.

this is what i want in 2009.

break my heart for what break Yours.

---------------------------------------------------------------

updated.

wow. check this out. i check up The Message version of this verse.

And what this is what it says.

Proverbs 12:8 (The Message)

"A person who talks sense is honored; airheads are held in contempt."

and the dictionary defines an airhead as "a scatterbrained, stupid, or simple-minded person".

God is really speaking.

nowadays, i have a phobia of opening my ntu mail.

i am afraid of what i will see.

and indeed, what i was afraid to see, i saw.

i feel the heat.

sometimes i m scared, though most of the time i am not.

but when i receive sth like that, there's only one word that describes it all.

STRESS.

like really.

i really seldom use this word.

this is a rare occasion.

so it shows....

i am really stressed.

gosh God help me out pls.

you know i totally cannot do it without you.

i know i can do this. but everytime i read sth like this, i really get scared. but "fear" is not in my dictionary. so baby, you can do it.

c'mon.

i was reminded sometime ago, abt wad wj shared. regarding jeremy saying, one of the impt things is to prepare, prepare and prepare.

suddenly, it just hit me hard.

for this month, the conversation that was going on with God was abt waiting, and patience, and waiting, and patience, and preparing myself.

not just training up the patience, it's a time for me to build myself up i believe.

there r days that i wish things could be easier, and there r days i know God is more interested in my character than my comfort. so there you go.

from the alchemist.

"Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it and spent many years living with the scars, we suddenly notice what we always wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realising the dream for which we fought all our lives.

Oscar Wilde said: 'Each man kills the thing he loves.' And it's true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the sufferings we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. I have known a lot of people who, when their personal calling was within their grasp, went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal ----- when it was only a step away.

This is the most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the things you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here. "

-Paulo Coelho

do you understand how i feel? and what i am really saying? and where exactly i am.. at this point?

我最近一直反复的在思考这个问题，特别是踏入了新的一年以后。

有时候我认为，可能是我想太多，这一切或许只是我的 imagination。

但是又有时候，却真实地让我无法相信。

说实在的，我宁愿不要知道，因为我害怕失望。

---------------------------------------------------

在那天和 Sheryl 谈完话之后，她说的一个东西，一直印在我脑海里。

我知道她在说什么。

但是有时候，i just want to take the easy way out.

---------------------------------------------------

when i look back i feel sad.

but i do know, that i really want to move on.

i feel sad for how things have turned out and become.

but.

i just want to be all that He wants me to be.

join me my friends?

to enter your promised land.

不知不觉，在图书馆里，就坐了一个下午的时间。遗憾的是，我没有达到我预期的成果。进度是。。。慢。

怎么感觉，好像有灰灰的云，笼罩着你我，怎么挥也挥不去。有时又想想，它只不过是一篇论文，有必要这么痛苦吗？

只是我讨厌有一块石头悬在心中，拿不起，却也放不下。

我
真
的
希
望

明天我一张眼，论文就写完了！

哈哈。

actually, i'm not so pessimistic as this thing sounds. haha. just that i'm a little frustrated. lol.

at the national library.

doing work n research. and honestly, feeling a little bored. lol.

so... i'm blogging!

and He said.

below's an article from allenmickle.wordpress.com.

it totally describes how i feel.

Patience is nothing that we enjoy! Have you ever wondered why things cannot be instantaneous when so much in life already is? We have instant coffee, instant meals, instant banking, and so forth and so on. Now, I can log on the net and do all my banking in an instant! It is incredible how fast our society runs and how quickly we expect things. Now my personality runs in that way like the world. If I have to wait longer than a minute or two on hold on the phone or for my French Vanilla Cappuccino at TIm Horton’s, I’m seeing red!

But even in thinking through things from a Christian perspective we demand instant success. The health and wealth movement thinks that as soon as you are a believer a simple prayer of faith makes God instantaneously bring about financial success! Or, there are those in the Wesleyan movement for instance that believe that one can attain instant sanctification instead of going through the grueling process of the battle with sin in the Christian life. Why does God want us to learn things over time than in an instant?

I will be leaving today to drive down to Pennsylvania to pack up my fiance’s things and move them all up here to our new home in St. George. I am already feeling impatient! And I have felt that way through our relationship. At my age, when you find the right person, you don’t want to wait any longer! July 26 cannot come soon enough! Also, through almost all our time together I have been searching for where God wants me to be in ministry. It was in the 11th hour that He answered it and brought me to Slavic Gospel Association. What is He trying to teach me?

First, He is trying to teach me that time is meaningless to Him. Peter says in 2 Peter 3:8, “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” God is completely outside of time. He is not affected by time. It has been said that the past, present, and future, are present concept to Him all at once. He knows the past and the future as if they were the present. We live in a quick fix, instant society, but God lives in timelessness. In that timelessness we have to be willing to work on His time, not our own. Patience is something He is teaching us through his timelessness. In the end, remember that all we do here on earth is but a blip in the timeline of history. We must have an eternal mindset and know that only what we do for an eternal purpose in life will truly matter later.

Second, He is teaching that patience is an evidence of a godly life. Galatians 5:22-23 in that fruit of the Spirit section tells us this. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” As beleivers we should recognize that we are to be patient as a reflection of God’s work in us. Quick tempered impatient people are not people who are pursuing godliness the way they should. A fruit of the work of the Spirit in the lives of the believer is patience. So pursue patience as a reflection of the work of Christ in your life.

Third, He shows us that patience effects much! The Scriptures are full of teaching that patience effects much in our life. We can do much through patience that we could not do through impatience! Proverbs 25:15 reads, “Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.” The idea here is that patience can win over people and accomplish things that could not be done in an instant.

For instance, part of my ministry with SGA is fund raising. It is easy to get impatient with churches and individuals hoping they will support the ministry right away. Sometimes it takes time to work with individuals to bring them where you want them to be whereas an immediate demand for a response would have brought resistance. Be patience practically because it brings much reward!

Finally, God wants us to be patient because He is patient with us. In our sin God does not judge us as He should, but instead is patient with us, enduring much on our behalf. Romans 2:4 reads, “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?” God is patient with you in your sin. You deserve death each day for your rebellion against Him, but he allows you to remain on earth. He is patient so you too must be patient!

So, thank God that He does not do things for us in our time but does it in His time. For His time is always best and it is for our good. So much of what we have today in our instant society makes us selfish and demanding. Instead, learning patience, no matter how hard it is, will be something that changes us and continues to conform us to the image of Christ who is the most patient man who ever lived enduring in patience with our sin, the cross for our salvation. Praise the Lord the Christian life is not easy and that we must endure much in order to teach us patience!

my long-overdued post.

suddenly, there are a lot of thoughts that flood my mind. a lot.

anyway, let's do a proper blog post! haha.

watched 大喜事

真的很不喜欢这部电影。从艺术的角度看来，真的是糟透了。不了解影评人为什么会给一个不错的分数，甚至认为这部戏比幸福万岁好看。

可能我的要求很高。

虽然很甜蜜，可是不能不觉得，这部戏像在骗观众的感情和钱。11月开拍的电影，1月上映，让我看不到一丝诚意。虽然我不能够以时间来判断，但是，看完整部戏之后，才真的觉得，这部戏缺少诚意。

首先，我不了解这部戏到底要说的是什么。如果是一部浪漫的爱情片，那么，剧情怎么那么老掉牙？我开玩笑说，编剧好像把最 cheesy 和 cliche 的片段都放在这里头了。

感觉。这部戏好像是乘着李铭顺和范文芳的好事和宣传戏码开拍的。

最不能忍受的，还是我感觉不到一丝诚意。

唯一能感受到的，或许是李鸣顺和范文芳之间那真挚的爱情，其他的，不值得一谈。

如果为了商业理由而拍片，那就干脆不要拍吧。

为了票房而营造的宣传效果，只会让人唾弃。

是谁在每一部戏出来后，都一直批评梁智强的片？

至少我在他的电影里找到诚意和意义。

虽然主题不鲜明，但是，我看到心意，了解他的用意。

诚意。两个字。非常重要。

我虽然爱看 i 周刊，但是，对他们拥有的深层偏见，还是感到非常不满。

每一部梁智强近期的作品，都被品头论足。

对于这样的一部片子，却没有看到诚恳的评语。

对不起，容许我在这里发点牢骚。

after all's said, i still enjoyed the company!

haha. i met ting 5 nights in a row, ying 4 nights in a row, mingxun 3 nights in a row, and weijian 2 nights in a row. lol.

we had a lot of fun these few days. just like every cny. i love how things slow down in cny, which is exactly wad i need. (:

back to work on my fyp again!

after such a long time, i finally got the chance to shop for myself. amidst the worry that it will be really crowded, by the time we reached town it was already 9 plus nearing 10. and becos of that, i didn't meet the large crowd i thought i would. and...

guess what???

I BOUGHT MY MANGO DRESS!!!!

seriously, i cannot remember when is the last time i am so happy over something that i have bought.

it was a real fruitful trip tdy, cos i bought the mango dress, another dress and a top.

and i love all of them a lot. haha.

here i am, blogging at 630am!





because i decided just now to pack and clean my room. thank God i did that somewhere earlier this yr, so that wasn't that much work to do. just had to pack a few things and clean up the room. i love my room now. packing n cleaning rooms give ppl such a sense of satisfaction! that's why i think, spring cleaning is a must!!! for some reason. it's my yearly chu xi tradition. haha. and i spent more than an hour in the toilet washing my toilet! feeling a little tired cos i scrubbed really hard. lol.

anyway, i'm off to sleep v soon. waking up tml to do my fyp. yayyyyy! cos waking up to a nice and neat room.

ps. i have changed my bedsheets to something that looks a little cheee-na. haha.

i woke up at 8am this morning to go to the dentist. walking on the streets at 8am in the morning feels good! i love the morning air. i think that i am really a morning kind of person. hurhur. maybe that explains why i just cant work in the night. meaning, my fyp is lagging again, and my shopping trip is gone. :(

i like my new dentist. she's nice. i dunno how good she is though, but hopefully, everything's ok. (: but i nd to pluck my wisdom tooth again. HAIX. it's expensive and painful. (btw, my dentist was not like wad it seemed in the picture. hurhur. the trip was much more pleasant. )

anyway, i saw an email and it was from a RGS tcher. what touched me in a big way was the love and pride of a Rafflesian. like how proud they were to be Rafflesians, and part of the Raffles family. I think HC has it too, but probably i dun feel it as strong.

And that made me wonder this morning, if it was a right choice to not go RGS when i was P6. At the very last minute, i opted for DHS. I realised sth, that for many yrs of my life, i refused to do a lot of things due to my fear. Instead of meeting up to challenges, i backed down and chose the easy way out. Because of that, i felt that i really missed out on certain things in my life.

Somewhere last yr, i made a decision that i would not be fearful. And things really started to change. So i believe God is a good god, and He will restore the years that the locusts have eaten away. (((:

i am gonna really work on my FYP tdy, and pray hard that i'll finish a substantial part of it, so that i can play for the wkend!!!

Happy CNY my friends! (((:

i caught this from sharon's blog. simple yet powerful truth. it did take me away.

Respect: A prerequisite for promotion.

Never harbor a negative opinion abt people who are assigned to lead you.

It's that secret sins of rebellion which are like the little foxes that spoil the vine, little and subtle but lethal.

my friend showed me an article in financial times, that featured Barack Obama. the subject of this article was about the power of his speech. after i read it, i was encouraged by how Obama would prepare his speech. he spoked about how when his dad spoke, it seemed that the whole family was transformed.

read his speech this morning. i loved the way he directed people to a common vision. how amazing it was that with a 20-min speech, he united the hearts of America together. yes indeed i agree that he is a charismatic leader.

what dr bernard shared then came to my mind. he spoke about change. kairos.

i pray that we would see change, not just in America, but in the whole world.

it is great to see how Americans would unite over a greater goal, and not just for themselves.

We need to live for something, greater than ourselves.

Yes, it is time to put away childish things indeed.

without a vision, the people perish.

given a vision, the people will rise up to the call, and run with it.

i pray that Barack Obama will indeed be a man of his words.

and i want to learn, to inspire others too.

The message on Sunday touched me in a big way, and resonated with what I felt in my heart.

I spent a long time toking to S on Sat night, and though tired, i felt satisfied and fulfilled.

and after that talk, on Sunday, God responded to my questions. During worship, as we were singing, I felt God speak clearly into my spirit.

"Prepare yourself"

There is a reason for the wait, and there is a reason why I am going through this.

All the more i feel, that there is a need to humble myself. What S said touched me in a big way and reminded me. It's humbling. It's a privilege. And was reminded again of what my friend told me a few days ago, God gives grace to the humble but resist the proud. Yes without God's grace I would not be standing here.

Thanks S for the conversation, certain fellowship just makes you better, and i am happy for that.

Jesus thank you, for always speaking into our lives.

Regarding what Pastor said.

God has already planned everything beforehand girl, just trust and obey. Trust and obey.

It's simple isn't it, just that we always like to complicate things.

Pst stuck a lot of truths in his message, like bites that we need to grab and meditate on.

I was really encouraged by the word.

when we are able to imagine, we have hope, and our dreams live on.

hope sustains life, sustains love, sustain peace and joy.

hope is the anchor of our soul.

i will keep dreaming, keep hoping, keep loving.

what is the wildest thing u can imagine yourself doing? He will do more than that.

what is the greatest thing u can imagine yourself doing for him? He will do more that.

the potential of man is great, but it takes one to truly believe.

and yes, i believe.

i believe i can imagine.

i believe i can see a new generation.

i believe i will see men and women of God, after His own heart.

i believe i will walk in the will of God.

i believe He will grant me the desires of my heart.

i believe I will walk in the call He has for me.

i believe. and i imagine. and i confess. and i see it. (:

recently i'm blogging really frequently. and this is my 700th post. yayy. haha.

享受在学校的一天。(:

went for an investment talk that enlightened me a little. haha. and i enjoyed ke's lesson.

有人问我，为什么还要上课？因为上课让我继续思考。

因为上课让我感觉，我真的还是个学生。哈哈。

享受走在风中的感觉。最近天气怎么那么好？

我喜欢风打在我脸上的感觉。

我喜欢穿着外套，还是寒冷的感觉。

从教补习的地方离开，走了一段路。

回家时，提早一个站下车， 又走了一段路。

享受。

这个夜里，吹着风，听着五月天。

享受。

这年头，我享受每个宁静的夜晚。

我享受你的陪伴。

我享受你的信任。

莫名的享受。

(:

tdy i heard some stuff, that kind of amazed me.

yest my fren told me to rem, that God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble.

and tdy i was reminded, never to think u have arrived.

i thank God for people ard me, who constantly inspires me to be better.

and yes it's time to put in the hard work, and it's time to draw near. (:

nth beats being in His presence.

the more i read, the more overwhelmed i feel.

goodness.

i need grace.

突然看到许多人，透过文字，散发出气质。

我希望，对文字的这份爱，永远不会熄灭。

我希望，我会一直能够，欣赏文字的美，珍惜它们的出处。

i had a really good time with terence and xueqi today at xq's 21st birthday party. it was fun reminiscing the past, and joking and laughing together. i can't rem when was the last time! and i can't believe that we are going to be friends for a decade! A decade is an awfully long time really.

I always believe that we should not dwell in the past. But i also believe, that without a past, a man cannot have a future. Everything we have talked about belongs to the past, but it is such a big part of us and makes us who we are today. But greater things are really ahead, and like what we always say, history is indeed in the making. (:

Was talking to another fren last night, and i shared a lot of things from my heart. Recently, speaking of things like that reminds me of how good God has been to me, and the things that are in store really blow my mind away. I'm really looking forward to a great 2009. (:

my God is good, awfully good.

i saw a quote in xueqi's house.

先帮助上面成功

在帮助下面成长

没有了自己

却得到全部`

so cool. haha.

happy 21st girl! love you. haha.

yes it's time to get attached for u. lol.

it's blogging blogging time. (((:

God is really cool, cos i have prayed this morning, that God will bring me the right resources to finish my fyp, and whatever i need will be really easy to find, and there you have it! i have managed to get a book from a friend today that looks really promising.

and on my way back from the airport, i happened to sit in howard's lorry, and his name was george. yes i'm talking abt the lorry. haha. and i mentioned my fyp. and guess what? i forgot that howard is a political science student! and yes he studied my topic before and he got books on my dear beloved topic!!!! then in my heart, i knew it was my dearest friend. how divine an appointment. i will be praying hard,that the book is exactly wad i need. and yes, the Lord has indeed been good.

qh, howard and i had a nice conversation, regarding pap. haha. and i like what howard has said. his prof has mentioned, in sing, ppl r either for pap or against, and it doesn't make sense. they have helped me put some things into good perspective, and it has been a great discussion and conversation! nice one at 12am in the morning. haha.

my 2 cents' worth. yes i agree. i agree that we have all been too objective. and i think we need to give this entire issue a good thought. and i admit that i need to put aside my biasedness and start looking at things from a more objective point of view, and that will definitely help me in my fyp too! haha.

you know, after praying and all, and the discussion with them on the car, it has boosted a lot of my confidence. i feel that i'm thinking hard again, and things r happening, and i'm feeling positive abt my whole fyp. yes, where there is faith. there is hope.

from 赤壁today, 如果有信心，就有希望。

哈哈。这是我现在的处境。(:



今天看了赤壁2，真的很赞。我觉得在剪

裁，在编剧，在整个结构上，都编排得

很好。这出电影好得让我想读三国演义。

哈哈。虽然在赤壁1，大家都不觉得金

城武怎么样，我仍觉得，他是不错的。

当然，在梁朝伟的相比下会相形见绌，

但是，诸葛亮这角色，就演技来说，

是很不错的。哈哈。



今天和dong和wj和婷一起看，挺爆笑

的啦。哈哈。他们说我一直在笑，

可是真的很好笑。哈哈。高潮迭起，很棒。

而且我认为，虽然和平常的叙述一样，

对曹操的评价不怎么样，但是，导演并

没有一面倒。他仍然让我们看到曹操的

精神，这是相当可贵的。此外，也可看到

电影里的一个主题，就是战争的残酷。

我也特别喜欢这一叙述，把真实残酷的

战争摆出来，让观众可以感受，不管是周

瑜还是曹操赢了，周瑜一句话，我们都输

了。这，真的好棒。



看完这出戏后，想的两件事情。第一，

如果我是周瑜或诸葛亮，我会希望在我这一

生，会碰到如此棒的朋友。惺惺相惜。

这般的智慧，这般的胸怀，这般的亢奋，

这般的默契。



第二，我在想，如果我有周瑜或诸葛亮一

般的智慧，FYP是否不用愁了？哈哈。

i purpose in my heart that. this yr i want to be a better leader, a better disciple, a better student, a better daughter, a better citizen, and a better child, of this kingdom.

on a side note, i was so touched by what my 偶像 wrote on her blog. the kind of wisdom that comes out of her touches me in a big way. and i wonder. what does it take to get there?

很久都没有这种感觉。

这无比的恐惧。

晓亭，你一定可以的。

在神，凡事都能。

加油。

just to add on, watching the video all over again really put a BIG smile on my face. (:

you got what i mean.

thank you guys and i love u all a lot too. ((((((((:

signing off!

there is something that i do every single year, that is to reflect my year and of course set new year resolutions.

So here you go. my take on 2008.

2008 has truly been glorious.

after years of wanting to rise up, to do more, i see myself stepping into another realm, of leadership, of servanthood, of love, peace and joy. we have indeed all grown.

2007 was xiaoting's comeback yr, when God really did a work in my heart, strengthened me once again to keep on running for Him. and in 2008, i see His grace, mercy and love. it was amazing.

1. we finally saw the cg multiplying. it's a year where i witness the faithfulness of God. and know that nothing is impossible. if only we pray and believe. and with that, e489 was birthed forth. it's a dream come true. wow.

2. i stepped out, and did minorE. honestly, that was no regrets and it was all worth it. one of the best things i've done in ntu. through it all, i saw His grace and hand at work in my life. and i really learnt what does it mean to engage the marketplace.

3. being part of ntu ministry. being part of happening camp, helping out in the ministry and getting to know a whole bunch of awesome ntu friends.

4. citynews was birthed forth from a vision. yes truly like wad MT said, we don't just talk the talk, we walk the walk. he truly demonstrated wad that meant with his life.

5. being part of Asia conference, GSIF, camp alive, and everything that God gave me a chance to experience this year.

6. My first mission trip to that land that He has called me to. My first time interpreting and preaching in Mandarin. This year, i have officially become an interpreter as well.

7. Openings after openings. It's beyond what i can count.

i feel blessed. blessed with all the opportunities that came my way. blessed with a great church and awesome leaders. blessed with great friends and relationships.

it was a year of stretching, stepping out, rising up, breaking limitations, and truly, He has done exceedingly, abundantly above all that I asked or imagined.

and with that, i would like to extend my thanks to

1. my cg. E357! They are the most awesome people anyone can lead. Yes there r ups and downs, there are good and bad days, but God has been so good. I love you all.

2. MY subzone. You are the best team and co-workers anyone could have. I love your craziness, your joy, your spirit of fighting together, your love for people. To sum it up, i love u all. Thank you for giving me a chance to serve and run together with you. To a greater 2009!

3. My minorE friends. they have been the most adorable people to work with. I love minorE batch 14. it would be one of my most precious memories in NTU.

4. Saturday boys. Words cannot express my thanks and love. Thank you for the friendship over the years. You guys are awesome.

5. Pastor, for believing in me always. It's a privilege to serve under you. You're truly an inspiration to me.

6. Meiyan, for being my mentor and friend. Truly, without you, there would not be xiaoting today. Thank you for the love and discipleship all these years. It's truly an honour to serve you and run your vision.

7. Last but not least, for my Lord. thank You for being King and Lord, and more than that, a friend, a brother, a father in my life. without you, all this could not have been possible. I LOVE YOU JESUS. (like what the song says, our love goes on and on.)

just a sidenote:
to my gd fren. i am happy for you. it's amazing how God works in miraculous ways, and i believe He has a tremendous plan for ur life. Thank you for being my fren. Yes you nv fail to be there when i need you, and i appreciate that. i believe 2009 will be greater. thank you for putting up with my wilful ways all these yrs.

and to yl. when i look back at 08, i am amazed by how God moves. I rem how we were toking abt it at the end of 07, and before we knew it, He had come true. you are so near. reach for the stars.

on the last day of 2008, i was given this award. The Valedictorian Award. First feelings was that of overwhelm. truth is, there are many more awesome CGLs in YK. To be awarded this among so many was a privilege. I am truly humbled.

As i stood there, and thinking back, i knew it was His grace at work. His grace that enabled me to lead and disciple. and i knew, i was standing there by His grace.

it was a reminder, that in 2008, i got to where i wanted to go. and another reminder, that this is only the beginning. if this award was given to me 1/2/3 years ago, it would have been different. because now, besides the feelings of joy, the trophy starts at my shelf, reminding me, xiaoting, there's so much more for you. looking at it does not remind me of the past, but the future, all that He has in store in 2009. It's a reminder to get up and move on.

I did once think, maybe i have already arrived. But towards the end of the yr, God began speaking to me in different ways, to remind me, ting, there's so much more.

so i am thankful for 2008, n i m really looking forward to 2009.

it's the yr i will graduate, cease being a student, and step into society.

wow.

今年，我发现到，以我独身一人，我真的做不到。我需要他，也需要一个团队。他的好，我铭记在心。因为我知道，如果不是他，这一切真的不会发生。谢谢你为我做的一切，我会展望未来，我会成为更好的一个人。

stay tuned for my NY resolutions. haha. it should be up soon.

did i tell you that i really love my cg???

in case i din,

i love E357!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here's the cutest video. lol

enjoyyyy.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtVD-ZryxuM

刚和朋友谈话后，才想起，我是多么久没有用我最喜欢的语言在这里写东西了。哈哈。

而且，我们已经进入2009年了。天啊。

现在的我，非常开心，开心到我不能够认真的和你谈谈我的感想。2008和其他年真的不一样。我少了那种惆怅和不舍的心情。带着一颗平静的心，进入了2009年。

奇怪的是，今年应该会是最具挑战性的一年，因为我要毕业了！可是我却少了担忧，多了一份踏实和安全感。谢谢你啦。

2008 has been great. a year of seeing dreams coming to pass. but 2009 will be greater. i refuse to let the old victories pull me back. i'm gonna move on to a greater yr ahead. more of my thanksgiving, appreciation and what not's later k? maybe tml. haha.

anyway, last night i went to visit my fav nephew. have i told u how in love i m with him? he's the most adorable kid on this planet. and he's awfully funny. have u ever heard a kid who says "oh man" and "cool man" at the age of 6? lol. it's so much fun hanging out with him you know. haha.

i'll be back soon yeah? (: just to blog.