Thursday, October 30, 2008


尽管眼睛快要闭上了,还是好想把这一刻的心情给写下来。

刚看了high school musical 3.

看了后,完全可以了解杨丽玲在说什么。

很cliche的一部电影,但总能勾起许多美好的回忆。

让我想起初高中时期。

电影中有一幕,男主角在考虑自己前面的路该怎么走,唱道,他希望拥有自己的梦,当下突然感觉,这是我的心情写照。

我和许多人提起,却从来未曾在这地方表达我的感受。

再过一个星期,我就非正式的毕业了。

说非正式,是因为正式的毕业典礼在明年7月,但是过了下个星期,我再也不需要回学校上课了。

这样矛盾的心理,让我看了这部电影后,感触更多。

因为还是学生,总可以为自己找千千万万的理由不去长大。SHE的歌完全形容我的心情,我,真的不想长大。

感觉自己好像还是大一,混着日子过,但是转眼间,我已经要毕业了,要为将来的日子打算。

不知道究竟有多少人问过我,晓亭你以后要做什么?

我也从来不记得自己说过这么多个“不知道”。

我还是第一次感到这么茫然。

小六毕业时,我就决定,我要念哪间中学。

中四毕业后,我就决定,我要上哪所高中。

高中毕业时,我连想也没想,就申请了南大中文系,至今仍是个我没有后悔的决定。

虽然在这当中,我希望有许多事情我是可以重新再做的,但我不行,所以最后一次的报告,的大考,我更想做的最好。

在心目中,我一直都是19岁。却在这一刻,我无法不承认,我已经22了,所以必须为将来打算。

说实在的,那的确很恐怖。

那个。。一直都知道自己要做什么的晓亭,也有这样的一天,这对许多人来说,太难理解了。

是的,我,也有茫然的时候。

那就是现在。

但是,我仍然对未来,抱着信心,充满希望,殷切盼望。

替我加油吧。

我也要找到我未来的梦。

Monday, October 27, 2008

This amazing gp of ppl that won 90 dollars ben and jerry's vouchers. haha.


and again!

sending off mx. just to make this look emo. lol. u see wj lol-ing. cos the photographer was pretty funny. and the next funny thing is, somebody asked him to take pic for them, and a little girl asked for his number! ok not that little la. haha. maybe like 16 or sth?













pics that make me smile. 26102008. (:














i am glad that the weekend has come to an end. although i wished that i am in sentosa now, (because i missed it twice in a row!! last yr and this yr!) nevertheless i m glad i have some time to just study n reflect n think.

昨天发生了一些事情,让我感触良多。原本听了一个朋友的话,改变了想法。

但是,我真的对这整件事略有烦感。

不要和晓亭提起这事好吗?我真的不想知道。

希望我不会觉得,这多年的友谊,是不值得的。

it's a lot a lot of thoughts that flood through my mind. i gave it a chance again and again. but i feel so...

on the other hand, while thinking yest, i also asked myself. maybe i haven't been a good friend too. and if that is the case, then () is not to be blamed.

n if i have been such an awful fren, and we r just not "fated" to be frens, then i think, i m willing to ...

用文字,无法表达我的感受。我没有刻意去想,但这件事总在我脑海里反反复复的出现。历史好像又重现了。

but i really did ask myself, if i have been a good fren. and really, maybe i have not. maybe () have always felt that this friendship has been taken for granted. and maybe, we have never been good frens after all.

never mind about such a thing. haha. i m supposed to be busy now, thinking abt sth else. (: like my studies, and my beloved cg.

i m glad that Get Set Get Wet has come to an end, and the people really enjoyed themselves. All thanks to the leaders. i love u guys lots man. n i m proud of u e357! (: you guys r amazing!

this week, give me some time to settle the things that i need to do, and i will be up and going again.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

终结孤单

約你你說不來 
來了你又不high
大家開開心心出來玩 
你只埋頭吃飯

如果你的孤單 
只是你的習慣
一直把你自己鎖起來 
實在太不應該

心情好 心情壞 
怎麼開始 怎麼辦
你有的不爽 讓我來分擔

Everything will be alright
Tomorrow will be fine
太陽依然燦爛 
Hey 地球繼續轉
Everything will be alright
Tomorrow will be fine
有我的陪伴 你再也不孤單
(有我的陪伴 一起終結孤單)

衛冕者接受挑戰 難免也會失敗
人生雖然像一場比賽 
還是要保持樂觀
請你把頭抬起來 
幫你把勇氣加滿
有我這樣完美的朋友 
High不High 當然很High

下午看康熙来了。
小钟唱这首歌。
让我有一些些微笑。(:
Xiaoting is contemplating...

how to be a good leader.
how to be a good disciple.
how to be a good student.
how to be a good teacher.
how to be a good friend.
how to be a good daughter.
And..
how to be a good child, of this house.
this is one of those times, that i spent so much effort into something.

one thing is because i m coming to an end of my sch life, but another thing is because i feel that a good prof deserves better.

but it's not that i m not trying.

突然间,我觉得有点沮丧,因为这真的是我花很多心思的一次了。

因为是最后一个报告,也是因为他是一个不错的老师。

it is not that i dun care. i m really trying.

seriously, grades do not matter so much. it's the efforts being recognised really.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

it was so liberating!!!!

when finally i knew exactly what to write for my report. I THINK. haha. but the fact that i managed to make some sense out of the whole thing lifts my entire burden.

God is so good. haha.

and our 100 portfolios were sold out today!!! wooooo. lol.

i m still 20,000 words away. haha. but it's ok. one step closer yeah?

(((((((((:

disclaimer: the previous entry is just an emo post.dun read too much into it yeah? haha.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

it's funny how this thing affects me so much more than that, but it honestly does.

i know it is silly to think this way, but i cant help but feel like this.

i dislike it, when people claim to be something, and yet they are not.

i dislike it even more, when friendships r not treasured.

i hope no one would ever come and ask me about this thing.

i dunno and i dun ever want to know. i think.

:( why like that.

Monday, October 20, 2008

有些东西,是你的就是你的,不是你的,终究在你手上,也会失去。

Thursday, October 16, 2008

it has been a heart attacking week.

i m just glad they din all come at a time.

and well, it's just a great opportunity to stretch and enlarge my faith. haha.

although i m considering to

1. put on sackcloth and mourn now.
2. pray that i will be zapped to mars
3. hope that God will pause time for me like Joshua, but not for one day, but for one month.
4. close my eyes and hope it's all a dream.
5. just get on with it.

lol.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

有些事,尽在不言中。

言语的交谈,固然重要。

但有时候,你听不到的,更加重要。

Saturday, October 11, 2008

i was so encouraged. an old fren of mine came for make up cell tdy, and she said..

"... ur cg really has potential...." and some other stuff. haha.

it's so great hearing from someone outside the cg, affirming me what i have been doing in the ministry. sometimes we're in the midst of all these, and we fail to see what God really has in store.

And like what she said, GREAT things r in store!

i feel so excited, becos i felt it was a great cell meeting, at least i noe the presence of God was there tangibly. God spoke, moved and it was a great time in the Holy Ghost!

it was so funny. i shared w my members what God spoke to me last night. becos i could not get to sleep. here's a not very good poem i came up w last night after praying. haha.

she spoke to me
and i was scared
and did not know
how to react

i was stressed
and more afraid
of that which truly lies ahead

i tried to sleep
but failed in it
thus woke up
and spoke to Him

i said lord
i feel alone
in this fight that requires me to stop the moans

i prayed and asked
who would be there
in this ardous journey
that has no end

i lost frens
and fellow men
who gave up halfway
before the end

i prayed and asked
Him for strength
that He would one day lead me there

He smiled and cheered
proud of me
that i would one day
have the dare
to reach that end

and i thought of you
and made a wish
that you would move on once again

and i believe
you have in you
what it takes
to touch the world for Him
that once again

Friday, October 10, 2008

for so many hrs i have been whining.. so it's time to stop whining! lol.

xiaoting stop wallowing pls can u. :P

yes yes i will. stop whining, get the work done, get the things out, and meet my deadlines.

i did study tdy! and get a better glimpse of wad i am doing. and got things started.

tml WILL be a better day.

so to all my faithful readers and frens,

love u guys! u guys r awesomeeee.

haha. and yes of cos i love my abba father.

for tolerating w my nonsense these 2 days. haha.
was just randomly googling and saw this nice nice pic of greenland.

i realised that i love nature. lol.

this is the after effects of trying to read ALOT ALOT abt media and democracy. lol.

xiaoting jia you!

Sunday, October 05, 2008

good frens r hard to come by. :P

just heard sth abt a fren of mine, and the feeling that i dunno wad i can do.. does not feel good.

i wish sometimes i can say sth so that u can feel better.

and i feel that i wish there is sth i can do.

but many times, i can't.

jia you my fren.

though i noe u wun read this, i wish that u will feel it.

my support for u.

no matter what happens, i still respect and admire u alot.

world shaker and history maker ya?

his calling is irrevocable.