here i m. back again.

okie. i m back again. trying to blog bout some stuff bout this yr. it is realli weird. cos tdy is the 30th of dec n i jus cant feel in any way wanting to think bout my yr again or reflecting on wad happen or wanting to set new goals for the new yr. there r still issues not resolved. gee.

realli. there isnt at all a mood that i m stepping into the new yr.

this yr was a yr full of challenges. i once wondered n thot.. wad issit like to be Pst? when u faced opposition frm the devil all the time. before i became a cgl, my life was still pretty okie. of cos there r challenges here n there. but man.. i dunno wad r challenges until i became a cgl.

this was a yr of ups n downs, highs n lows. but sth that was consistent was that i grew. i realli did. grew to be more mature.. and to quote sis meiyan, she said u will learn to grow stronger emotionally. i did. spiritually i grew. n grew closer to God than i nv did before. well typing it till here.. i realli do feel.. this has been a great yr after all.

many times i will be full of not-so-happiness.. thinking.. huh y is this like this n that like that n stuff.. but suddenly at the end of this yr, i jus realised, instead of being so discontented, i was really thank God for the things in my life. n here is wad i can thank God for...

1. i thank God that this is my 10th yr in chc. n in my 10th yr, he chose to raise me up as a cgl. it has been a priveilege to serve Him, to change lives, to touch lives n to help His people grow. thank you for making me a leader.

2. i thank God for my leaders. for Pst YK and for sis meiyan. for pastor always being so inspiring and motivating. that enable me to always dream bigger dreams for Him. n thank God a dozen dozen lot for sis meiyan. for her wisdom n her advice always. for her listening ear. for her understanding n knowing-me-so-well. for her encouragement when i m down. for jus being my leader n teaching me how to become better. thank God for her.

3. i thank God for my members. for a gp of pple who love God n pple. who nv fail to inspire me n to cheer me on with their love n passion for the lost n their sch. they r one of the greatest pple u can ever lead. no doubt they have their weaknesses.. but yet like Jesus, i will learn to see them thru my eyes of faith. believing that they will be like the 12 disciples, one day, turning their world upside down for God.. and they r already starting to do that.

4. i thank God for frens. for good godly frens. i noe that i can be so noisy n nonsensical at times. but God placed pple in life who love me n put up with me and always there when i feel like i m so alone. thank God for good frens!

5. thank God for the doors He has opened to me. for working in chec. for teaching in AHS n DHS. for going to taiwan with pst YK. those were experiences i treasure frm the bottom of my heart. i have learnt so much this past yr jus by working alone. and my missionary trip was this yr.

6. i thank God for His provision. that God provided for me. always. n He blessed me so that i can be a blessing. and that He brought me to ISrael and opened my eyes to the Holy Land. wad a priveilege.

7. i thank God for growth. that He has grown my cg, brought in pple n changed lives. and we will continue to grow.

8. i thank God for good results. in hwa chong n in ntu. that He has blessed me to do well.

9. i thank God for city harvest and our senior pst. that God has placed me in a great church so that i can do great things for Him. and our pst who loves us so much n sacrificed so much for us. words cannot express my gratitude.

10. one last thing.. i thank God for Him. that He has always been there in my life. He has never left me nor forsook me. jus like He promised. n He is always standing by me, loving me, encouraging me. every time i m down, He will be there to say xiaoting it is okie, u can do it. with me, all things r possible. when i feel lonely, He will be there. saying i m with u always, even to the end of the age.

God, words alone realli cannot express my gratitude towards u. You have been amazing to me. i know that there r times that i let u down, days when i allow the devil to step over me, days o jus refused to get up n move on. but i wan to thank You for believing in me right from the beginning. that You trusted me enough to take care n allowed me to be a shepherd to ur pple. When i m down, u were always there, right by my side, cheering me on. i m who i m tdy becos of You. n i stay standing right here becos of You. all that i have done is not by my own strength. thank You for enabling me.

love ya lots lots lots lots lots. i love You.

last cg meeting of the yr

tdy was my first thanksgiving cg meeting that i took.thank God that the end is always greater than the beginning and i m happy at how the cg ended. it jus feels a bit weird cos this time i m conducting it.this yr it is different. but it was a great great thanksgiving. (: i enjoyed myself totally. frm the games to the cgm to the video and the bbq.

acty i m not realli in a mood to blog. but i really wanna thank my cg. so here u r.

i realli liked the video. came home n watched it n laughed my head off. n yeah i saw that break dance. haah. it was realli hilarious. no kidding. guys thanx for loving me despite those many times u were scolded by me.. and putting up with ur cgl's craziness at times.

i dunno how to continue. too tired. another time maybe.

xmas is here :)

tdy is the eve of xmas. time realli flies isnt it? tdy is already the 24th of dec. i tend to get realli nostalgic when the end of the yr comes. haah. cos i still cannot get used to the speed of time. it seems to travel faster than light. before u noe it, it has already passed u. kind of eerie isnt it? ni cant believe i have passed my 19-yr-old life n next yr i m 20. it is starting with a 2. i think i better start bucking up n make greater use of my time!

lovely song

BEFORE THE WORLD BEGAN
YOU WERE ON HIS MIND
EVERY TEAR YOU CRY
IS PRECIOUSIN HIS EYES
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

NOTHING YOU CAN DO
COULD MAKE HIM LOVE YOU MORE
NOTHING YOU HAVE DONE
COULD MAKE HIM CLOSE THE DOOR
BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE
HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

COME TO THE FATHER
THOUGH YOUR GIFT IS SMALL
BROKEN HEARTS BROKEN LIVES
HE WILL TAKE THEM ALL
THE POWER OF THE WORD
THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD
EVERYTHING WAS DONE
SO YOU WOULD COME

this is how God feels towards u.
wun u come to the Father tdy?

expo!

wow wow wow wow! we had our first meeting at expo tdy! our prayer meeting! it was realli realli cool n exciting! we prayed n prayed n tarried in the presence of God. and it was tremendous! Pst Kong said that he felt like the heavens is breaking! we felt so too! there was jus like a new wave of anointing.. a new thing that God is doing in the church!

i m jus so determined that as an individual n as a cg, we r gg to move up another level too!

and..

and.. this is the place God raised me up to be a cgl! i will nv nv forget how God used these yrs to mould me and to bring me into my calling! thank u Jesus!

and..

and.. this is the place God raised me up to be a cgl! i will nv nv forget how God used these yrs to mould me and to bring me into my calling! thank u Jesus!

we're moving!

yest was the last service in jurong. cant believe it. we have already been there for 4 yrs n now we r moving. i still remember when we were first at jurong. n pst phil said that by the time u get into ur new building, it will be too small for u! n it was realli realli like that. it is jus amazing how God speaks n fulfills His word.

n i still remembered how excited i was bout our new building that i could not slp the night before. thinking bout how we sowed n God raised up a building. n we came in. blown away. flabbergasted. wow. n the bkstore pple were realli excited to have our own store. hee. that we need not have tables anymore. n it was such a big step in faith to have come to jurong west! n we had a victorious victorious cry when we had our first service. from 4 services to 5 den to 6. God is indeed a good God.

n personally, jurong was a place in which God mould me, changed me, renewed me n kept me. i m jus once again so thankful that God kept me n loved me to the very end. i m jus so glad that i still love God n i m still on fire for God than ever before. n for that, i will give God all the praises. i m going to miss that mission statement, that lobby, that bookstore, BUT! more than jus feeling sentimental, there is such an expectancy in the Spirit. becos i noe that God is going to bring us to greater glory. it is time to FOCUS, n to plunder hell n populate heaven.

let's go!

流泪

我是一个很少会看感情戏而流泪的人。但是今天我破例了！我看了王子变青娃，哇。。 竟然在单均豪的甜言蜜语下落泪了！我为自己的举动真的感到很惊奇。。 没错。：）真是让我自己都感到意外。。 真的。

通常我只会因为一些亲情的戏而哭。。 而且会哭得稀里哗啦。或是在戏里看到一些人坚强的熬过来，才流泪。可这真的算是我第一次听一个男生表白而哭了。是满可笑的。

3 down.2 more to go. the tabernacle

i have 2 more exams to go. yay! :) it is coming to an end soon.

yest went for "the tabernacle" bs. it was so good realli. pastor is amazing and it jus gets better n better each week. i think next week will realli be phenomenal n i cant wait!

i think there were a few things pastor said that realli touched my heart.

the first one is about the fear of the Lord. he said that u will not do anything to grieve the Lord becos u love Him n u respect Him. i jus felt that the fear of the Lord in our lives is so impt. becos we fear the Lord, we will love Him! n we will not do anything to grieve Him, isn't that so?

worship is a bodily attitude. the way u sit, behave simply shows ur attitude towards God. wow.

n we need to have circumcised lips! that we be very careful the things we say, in public n in private. becos God hears...

it is time to move on. from Gilgal to Bethel to Jericho n to Jordan.

random rantings. again.

haha. i m here to jus type into the air. hee. no lah. when i dun feel like thinking i will jus type my way away. hahaa.

yesterday's service was fantastic. n for the dunno-how-many-time, i realli love Pst Ulf. He is jus so incredible n awesome. but i love God even more that He turned up in service like that. wow. it is realli amazing. i remember pst Yock Kiang once said. that ur life tml depends on ur consecration tdy. n yest was realli like a time of consecration. of coming back to the Lord. renewing our passion for Him. n let us never never go far away from the Lord. the higher we go, the more we need to stick so much closer to Him. keep ur heart so close to Him!

n yesterday was Maestro monopoly! i think the pple realli enjoyed themselves n we had great fun too! jus that it was realli tiring that i woke up with muscle aches. haha. but it was great! :)

yup n tat is abt it. tdy's programme is summed up in one word. MUGGING.

极大的讽刺。。

哈。

当我知道我应该走“华文”这条路时，我本来是蛮开心的。“华文”应该是打从一开始，就在我的血脉流着吧。从小到大，读书并不是一个问题。读书在众多的责任当中，应该算是我最拿手的吧。但是，碰到“华文”时，它却叫我惊慌失措。

来到南大后，还是应该说从进入华初后，我就不再是对华文了如指掌的学生了。刚好相反的是，说多错多，写多错更多，哈，那时真让我信心大减。来到南大后，事情也没有改善的现象。反而是我做起英国文学的学问，更得心应手。哈。

是一个极大的讽刺。

从高中开始，对文科非常有兴趣的我，却在理科拿到优异的成绩，但我还是选择走上“中文系”这条路。没有后悔，只有执著。尽管别人用异样的眼光看我，尽管许多人都不了解我为何走上这条路，而且走上这条路，更是有点像选错夫君的感觉，但我还是坚持到底。 当我看到自己的华文作业成绩不怎么样，其他科目却考得似模似样时，我开始动摇， 以往的信心也有点把持不住了。

学习语文，并没有一套方法或方程式，你需要的是-- 耐心，毅力，热忱。

希望秉着这种精神，能让我一直走下去，一直走下去。。

i like this!

除非你正视生命，否则任何艺术活动都是徒然的。艺术活动的真正意义，在于其过程让你对生命、对人们有更深的了解。-- 郭宝昆

mugging!

acty studying is realli pretty enjoyable. haha. though tiring. like wad pst kong said, or shld i say Solomon said, much study is wearisome to the flesh. haha. but i like the period of time in which i study n use my brain la. :) keep on keeping on.

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.People crave your praise and complements.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

first day of exam.

tdy was the first day of my exam in ntu. first exam in like a year. wow. it felt like lep days cos i happen to be studying gu wen. haha. feel like how i was like trying to cram everything down my throat. but i enjoyed it. hoping that it will get better.

Your glory is the value of who u r.

Rise above being average!

Rise above being mediocre!

Set high goals! Goals so high that pple will know that it has to be GOD!

Your Birthdate: July 28

You have a Type A personality so big it makes other Type A's shrink away in shame.You never shy away from adversity - and you love to tackle impossible problems.Failure is not an option for you, and more than a few people are put off by your ego.You tend to be controlling, and you hate leaving anything up to chance. Your strength: Your bold approach to life Your weakness: You don't accept help Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Pyramid Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

so much to say.

i m supposed to be studying now. but yet i have like 101 things on my mind.

tog's svc was fantastic! it was jus such a good message preached! Pst was jus amazing. He really preached it and within me, i really wan that glory to be released. to really excel in my work, to rise above being average n mediocre, so that they may see my good works n glorify my Father in Heaven. time to mug hard.

讨厌思绪繁杂，讨厌无法平静。讨厌这种感觉。原本应该很美好。可是现在的我却连声叹气。好想开心的笑。无忧无虑的笑。

pple who maximise their glory r often tired. it is time to work realli hard.

thinking. hard.

i love blogging. hee. i love writing. cos i love toking too.

was jus reading my old entries. sometimes it is really nice to jus look back at how u've grown. n becos of the grace of God, i have grown. praise the Lord. recently i have been hugging my Bible n meditating on it like nobody's business. haha. cos i realli need the word of God to put faith in my heart. i need faith! :)

mountain moving faith..

overcoming faith..

faith as small as a mustard seed..

faith that comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.

tdy's revelation.

Isaiah 40

21Have you not known? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?

22 It is He who sits above the circle of the earth, And its inhabitants are like grasshoppers, Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain, And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.

23 He brings the princes to nothing; He makes the judges of the earth useless.

24 Scarcely shall they be planted, Scarcely shall they be sown, Scarcely shall their stock take root in the earth, When He will also blow on them, And they will wither, And the whirlwind will take them away like stubble.

25 "To whom then will you liken Me, Or to whom shall I be equal?" says the Holy One.

26 Lift up your eyes on high, And see who has created these things, Who brings out their host by number; He calls them all by name, By the greatness of His might And the strength of His power; Not one is missing.

27 Why do you say, O Jacob, And speak, O Israel: "My way is hidden from the Lord, And my just claim is passed over by my God"?

28 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable.

29 He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength.

30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall,

31 But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

王子变青娃

this show seems like it is the thing now. haha.

我讨厌你影响我的心跳，妨碍我的视线，左右我的人生。

haha.

mugging. :)

hey hey. haha. it is acty now according to ahma's clock 340am in the morning. n wad m i doin? mugging. or shld i say.. trying to mug. haha. cos i cant really understand wad i m studying! but it is okie. haha. i will last till early morning.. when the rest r slping. :( xiaoting jia you! hee :)

and i so so appreciate pastor for the bs. though it was solid stuff, but yet it is so good. God is a good God i feel.. a really really good God. jia you gal.. keep on keeping on.

Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

sometimes it is not easy. sometimes it gets tiring. sometimes it gets boring. sometimes it gets difficult. sometimes it seems more difficult than wad it really is. sometimes..

sometimes i wonder was Jesus tired.. when He ministered to the pple day n night.. did He ever feel like giving up? Did He feel like He did not wan to go to the cross.. did He? my guess is He probably did.. but yet He kept on keeping on. becos of the joy that was set before Him.

one of my greatest life model examples is pst kong n sun. something that amazes me abt them is that they nv fail to jus keep going. whenever i look at pst kong, he can be doing so many things, travelling to so many places but yet new n newer revelations jus flow out of him. at least i dun see the tired side of him. he can be tired physically.. but yet his heart burns on stronger n stronger for the Lord.

energy does not come from resting.

energy comes frm doing wad God wans u to do.

i wan to be like that.

i wan to keep on keeping on.

i wan to love n love more passionately. God n pple.

can one man make a difference?

they r weak but He is strong. :)

xiaoting......... jia you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

上帝应该也是个画家。有时候我们可能不知道他在画什么，有时候他也会用暗淡的颜色。但是，我们可以很肯定，这幅画会是很美的一幅画。人生有得也有失，有时候失去了才知道我们拥有的是什么。

there is probably nothing in this world that is greater than love.

just ranting

jus need to say some nonsense or sth. haha. my exams r coming! that is like a little bit the scary. haha. but well.. i m crossing my fingers hoping everything gonna be alright. i need to study very very very hard! xiao ting jia you..

recently jus dawned upon the topic bout the usefulness of studying chinese. interestingly when i was leaving my hse yest, met a guy who was asking for directions and happen to tok to him on the way to the mrt. was jus toking bout wad i was studying in.

well this is where wad i learn comes into play. about stereotyping. haha. cos the moment he heard chinese.. he was like !?!?!?!?!?!?! hhaha. den the next question is u wan to be a tcher? haha. and that is like abt everybody's reaction. so try not to ask me that question k.. it is really quite boring repeating my answer like for erm.. dunno how many times?? haha. jus kidding.

decided to write something intelluctual here so as to use my brains in a better way. seriously our society have been shaped in such a manner, esp the Singapore society that somehow business, management, sci and tech is better that arts and stuff. and singaporeans r kind of too realistic. i mean it is good to be realistic, but yet i feel that u still need to retain part of ur dream. n i guess i am jus a person who really goes after my dreams, regardless of my circumstances. i m pretty proud of that fact but maybe some will find that i m too unrealistic? haha. but i really wan to thank God for Pst's teachings that give me courage to pursue wad i wan to do. i remember when i told my tcher i m studying chi, den he ask me taking scholarship ah, den i say no. i jus wan to study lor. den he said wo you zhi qi. haha. zhi qi?? haha. perhaps. but if u look at it in another way, out of the box, it is jus that we r too trapped in the Singapore mentality. that u mus study wad is useful for ur future. i really believe that wadeva u study does not matter. becos if u r a thinker, a problem solver, an overcomer, u will soar and u will find ways to succeed in the society. dun be merely reduced to wad the society says u r ya?

and another thing is i m happy studying wad i m studying. n i want to have the spirit of excellence! to do the best that i can do.. so Holy Spirit.. help me. :)

love u Jesus every single day. *muacks*

i broke my word

haha. okie i broke my word. i m still going to blog here. haha.

tdy i went to a really nice restaurant. baccarat. it has a really nice ambience. :)

n we saw moses lim. n i ate a lot. so much more than wad i have been eating recently. but tdy's dinner doesnt feel as cosy as before. i miss family.

it is really a nice place. :)

all things come to an end

not blogging here anymore. see ya.

link!

okie! so here is the link that has been popularly demanded. :)

http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

Personality Style Description

Determined and driven to excellence in all she does, xiaoting tends to be very competitive. She is not afraid to "go for" what she desires or wants, and is willing to put forth the effort for success. xiaoting is not afraid to challenge others in her quest to achieve her end goals, but she also respects position and authority and is not unnecessarily confrontational.Others see xiaoting as a versatile person whom they rely upon to break up monotonous or routine situations. She tends to be individualistic, and may sometimes prefer to do things outside of the team. xiaoting may even be perceived as "restless", since she tends to move quickly from one thing to the next.xiaoting prefers a rational and moderate approach when first entering new situations and tries to avoid extremes. She likes the company of others, but xiaoting is equally comfortable spending a quiet evening alone. She is a realist who will always weigh her options before she makes a decision to move ahead.Not afraid to take a bold approach, xiaoting is willing to challenge the status quo. She is original and creative, and acts with confidence when implementing new solutions. xiaoting will tend to use a balance of intuition and facts when making decisions, and once she has made a decision, she will not be afraid to take action upon it.

my birth date.

You entered: 7/28/1986
Your date of conception was on or about 4 November 1985.
You were born on a Mondayunder the astrological sign Leo.Your Life path number is 5.The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2446639.5.The golden number for 1986 is 11.The epact number for 1986 is 19.The year 1986 was not a leap year.As of 10/3/2005 11:53:51 AM CDTYou are 19 years old.You are 231 months old.You are 1,001 weeks old.You are 7,007 days old.You are 168,179 hours old.You are 10,090,793 minutes old.You are 605,447,631 seconds old.
There are 298 days till your next birthdayon which your cake will have 20 candles on it.Those 20 candles produce 20 BTU's,or 5,040 calories of heat (that's only 5.0400 food Calories!) .You can boil 2.29 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 1986 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.In 1986 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.In 1986 in the US there were 2,400,000 marriages (10%) and 1,159,000 divorces (4.8%)In 1986 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)Your birthstone is Ruby The Mystical properties of Ruby
Ruby is said to open one's heart to love.Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
CarnelianYour birth tree is
Cypress, the Faithfulness
Strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, happy,content,optimistic, needs enough money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered,unruly, pedantic and careless.There are 83 days till Christmas 2005!The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waning gibbous.

accurate test.

check this out!

i did this test n i think it is really quite accurate.

You entered: Chiong Xiao Ting
There are 14 letters in your name.Those 14 letters total to 83There are 6 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 11
The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer.
The expression or destiny for #11:Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents.
The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form.
The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive and temperamental. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need.
Your Soul Urge number is: 7
A Soul Urge number of 7 means: With a number 7 Soul Urge you are very fond of reading, and retreating to periods of being alone and away from the disruptions of the outer world. You like to dream and develop you idealistic understandings, to study and analyze, to gain knowledge and wisdom. You may be too laid back and withdrawn to really succeed in the business world, and you will be much more comfortable in circumstances that are tolerant of your reserve, your analytical approach, and your desire to use your mind rather than your physical being.
You are very timid around people that you don't know very well, so much so at times that casual conversation and social situations can be strained. You tend to repress your emotions to the extend that some people have a good bit of difficult understanding you. You tend to be very selective with friends and you don't easily adapt to new environments or to new people very quickly.
The negative traits of the 7 include becoming too much the introvert and isolated from others.
Your Inner Dream number is: 7
An Inner Dream number of 7 means: You dream of having the opportunity to read, study, and shut yourself off from worldly distractions. You can see yourself as a teacher, mystic, or ecclesiastic, spending your life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning.

i never had any test that describes me like that n i really like it! although the introvert pt is not so true. ha.

天马行空。

又好在这里想用华文。。 天马行空。

曾经对着这个字，心想，我喜欢 -- 天马行空。

前几个blog里，我记录了一首歌。我喜欢那首歌的感觉，的境界。 我喜欢在天上飞，地上驰骋的感觉。而我特别喜欢 驰骋 这个词。它好像是形容着千里马在奔跑。

我向往自由。

向往一个不被束缚的地方。

让我的心。紧跟着你，自由翱翔。

where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

reminisces

was jus reading my blog in another place. was so amazed by the things that God brought me through. yet reading it put a once new desire in me. i really want to love God more than i ever did before.

u noe pple once asked me.. how can a person keep on loving the Lord? and i asked myself before too. u noe like Pst Kong.. He has been a Christian for 30 yrs.. y is he able to love God more n more?

den i remembered i told the person. u can love Him because He first loved us. u noe sth.. we cant love God on our own. we dun have the strength. we love Him becos the Holy Spirit will put that desire within us to love.

so here i m once again Lord..

asking that u help me to love you so much more.

that every single day i will love u more than my yesterday..

and keep me close to u every moment of my life.

i wan to live for You.

help me Holy Spirit..

久久无法释怀

i simply live for You

SAY THE WORD AND I WILL SING FOR YOU
OVER OCEANS DEEP I WILL FOLLOW
IF EACH STAR WAS A SONG
EVERY BREATH OF WIND PRAISE
IT WILL STILL FAIL BY FAR
TO SAY ALL MY HEART CONTAINS
I SIMPLY LIVE
I SIMPLY LIVE FOR YOU

AS THE GLORY OF YOUR PRESENCE
NOW FILLS THIS PLACE
IN WORSHIP WE WILL MEET YOU FACE TO FACE
THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD
TO WHICH YOU CAN BE COMPARED
GLORY ON GLORY
PRAISE UPON PRAISE

YOU BIND THE BROKEN-HEARTED
AND SAVE ALL MY TEARS
BY YOUR WORD
YOU SET THE CAPTIVES FREE
THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD
THAT YOU CANNOT DO
I SIMPLY LIVE
I SIMPLY LIVE FOR YOU

失望

哈。当我们写“失望”时，常常是写自己的失望。往往没想到今天写的失望是我让别人失望。

好想大声地说“对不起！”好想大声地喊“对不起！”

对不起 对不起 对不起 对不起

好希望时光能倒流。这一切像是一场梦。噩梦。

对不起
有人曾告诉我，这句话有无穷的力量。
今天，我好用力地说对不起，却发现这三个字失去了他的魔力。
那我该怎么办？

我讨厌让人失望，难过的感觉。
宁可天下人负我，我绝不负天下人？

现在连文字都失去它的魔力。

。。。

chatting

jus finished chatting with helen. enjoyed it so much. missed the times when i can jus pick up the phone or sms her to tok to her! now i cant do that. gee.... now online it feels a bit different. but i still enjoyed it. :)

thank God for friendships. :)

new blogskin!

yay! i have finally changed my blogskin! haha. i m sho happy. isnt this nice? i really really liked it! Jesus is the reason y i live! yay!!!!

i feel sort of evil cos i m wasting time sitting in front of my com. but these few days i have been really happy cos God really has been good to me. On wed i had such a great time in sch! this week we start lecture with a wonderful lecturer from bei da. hee. half of my dream coming true? even liang wen fu was there. n i absorbed during sociology class though i dozed off la. hee. n i had great lessons nowadays n there is jus such a flow in my life.. the oil of the Holy Spirit.

n i have a magic weighing machine! it makes u lighter! haha. my dad stood on it and he lost 7 kg. muahahahaha. jus last sun i went ikea to buy a lot a lot of things to decorate my room. n i packed my room for like 8 hours???? can u like believe it? but there is a great sense of satisfaction looking at my room now.. haha. it is so much neater. :)

xiao ting is a happy girl.. jus on tues God started another work in me again. man i m telling u.. it is jus absolutely awesome to live for God!

i love You Jesus!!!!!!!!!!

jus wan to blog b4 i slp. i really like penning my thots down. now amidst my busy schedule, i seldom have time to think except maybe during travelling. n that is y pple ask me if i mind the long distance frm ntu. not really becos i appreciate that time in which i think and sleep too. haha.

tdy was a rainy day. i used to dislike rainy days thinking that they r inconvenient n troublesome n they make me wet. but i enjoyed the day. :) i like the freshness in the air after it rains. i like the cool breeze that it carries. i like walking after it rains.

jus now was jus teaching tuition n God awakened this in me. shall pen it down in chinese.

每个人一生下来都有这样东西“童真”。而今天我好像看到“童真"的再现。哈哈哈哈。轻描淡写的几句话，提醒了我我们每个人都有着一份上帝赐的礼物。只是因为现实的残酷，生活的步伐，罪恶的恶心，把它淹没了。我好想唤起心中那一份“童真”。难怪人家说童年是最让人怀念的。而看到别人能够那么单纯，才发现能拥有单纯，童真是一个福气。：）

back frm service n tuition n stuff. glad that the week is over. cos it has not been ez. but service was great! love it when pst toked abt it n stuff. cos it is jus amazing. the heart of worship.

jus feel that all of us really need to have the heart of worship becos this is wad it is all about. u noe everytime u think bout pple like abraham n david n stuff u really wonder.. how do they do it? but yet u also yearn to walk with God like that. to be so entwined around Him. yep. that is the heart of worship.

tdy took a walk around bugis. finally after so long. kind of missing shopping but kind of tired of getting things as well. though i m also quite tired of my wardrobe. :) but gave wei yi bs tdy n enjoyed it. :) and enjoyed toking to my members as well. :) it is nice to have fellowship.

this week is my mid term break!!!!! yay! although i still will be as busy as ever, let us hope i will have a teeny weeny little bit of more time to catch up on my studies!

n let us have a breakthru this week... revival revival revival.

and helen jus emailed me! man.. it is like that kind that makes u all sentimental n wanting to cry. i miss that ger! n i noe she is reading this. u noe sometimes i really wish i can be overseas studying.. but guess that is jus not the will of God for me. but i really wanna experience it if i ever get a chance. if God wants me to, that is. if not den i will make ntu heaven on earth. :) i will really really try. haha. and helen, gambate! behind u all the way n praying for u gal. love ya lots.

okie going off. think i gonna blog more often. wanna change my blogskin too.

anybody want to do it for me? hee. nite.

hihi. i m in da bian room now blogging. jus feel that God has been such a good God to me since sch reopen. that God has been really guiding me and giving me strength to work, lead cg and study at the same time. now i noe what does it mean that the steps of the righteous r ordered by the Lord. yep.

chan eng n i was jus toking abt it. how can Pst Kong do it???? where does he get his strength from? den the next day i was jus praying and the presence of God jus came and God told me this is how Pastor does it! and now i really know what it means by "cant live a day without Your presence" Lord. the presence of God is jus so precious in my life and i m really sustained every day by that. gee i love Him and His presence!

yup God is good and i got nice tuition assignments and good frens and fantastic cg members! haha.357 i love u. hee. jus realise that u guys get more n more adorable as the days go past. haha. thank you for standing in prayer with me to believe for a breakthrough in the cg! love all of u!

:)

ello all out there! sorrie for not blogging for so long.. haha. so laggy. well here i m in ying hse accompanying her to study. haha. this ger is super distracted.

but it has been such an eventful life that i jus cant tell u all about it.. becos so much have been happening in my life or should i say in my life and also the pple ard me that i m flabbergasted. ying claims that she is not distracted but the fact that she is looking at the screen shows that she is. muahahaha.

yest and tdy we had a tremendous svc with pst ulf. i really really love him. that kind of freedom he carries in the Spirit that i see in nobody else. wow. wow. caught a new word, brought up another level in Him.

and another thing that happened tdy is that helen left for US. this morning i woke up thinking i m strong and good and i wun really feel very sad. but shows that i m wrong. i still cried at the airport. gal if u r reading this, i wan u to noe that i really miss u. but i guess that i dun really have this kind of chance to miss pple and i seldom cry over pple. she is one of the fewest ba.

God is a good God. :) and i love Him with all of my heart.

boy oh boy i really had a fantastic weekend. haha. God is a great God. recently i m really treasuring God's presence so so much. jus love to be in Him. and the anniversary was great! 16 wonderful yrs in God.. and FOP was great too.. Darlene is such an amazing worship leader.

God is a good god.. a great god.. an amazing god.. a fantastic god.

i realli like the song..

C'mon C'mon
We will tell the world about You!

Tell the world that Jesus lives
Tell the world that
Tell the world that
Tell the world that He died for them
Tell the world that
Tell the world that

thank you..

this is a bit overdated. but well it is really a 'thank you' entry for my members who really put it a lot of effort for my birthday.

to my dearest cg.. my favourite gp of pple in the world! (i think, haha)
guys thanx for celebrating my birthday.. for the efforts u guys put in.. for the brainstorming.. and everything.

it has been a priveilege and it always will be ur cgl.. to lead such a great bunch of pple like u. though i had my share of frustrations and worries(though i try not to) for all of u, it has been a great joy leading all of you and see all of u growing in God. u've been thru trials and testings.. and i see each and everyone of u grow. and really.. it put great joy in my heart.

i know that some of u guys really get scolded by me and stuff.. and there r times that i get angry, but i wan u to noe that i always always love all of u.

and let's us as a cell group go up to the next level.. being mature sons of God.. walking in the Spirit and getting to know God even more. Let us arise and go up the next level..

thank you for being my members. (:

and to continue from my previous post.

3. qi n ce. :)
thanx for coming out n watch a movie with me becos i wanted to and thanx for being my frens. one of the greatest gifts God has given me is the both of you! i m glad we r all 19, loving n serving Jesus. love u guys lots.. n i absolutely love that wallet. but love ur company even more.

4. all who wished me happy birthday!

seriously, i feel so loved on my birthday. n God told me that He is not the only one who loves me.. there r so many out there who also love me. haha.

Lord.. this year i pray You teach me how to come in and how to go out.. how to lead and how to be led.. how to love and how to be loved.. how to serve.. how to give.. how to live.

Let this be a yr marked by Your presence, power and love.

Let this be a yr that i lean on Your presence.

Let this be a yr that i love You, more than i ever loved You before Lord.

hello!

haha. i intended to blog yesterday cos it was my birthday! but well.. i had such a great time that i was jus too tired to blog. hee.

okie.. acknowledgements to the pple who made my day..

1. my beloved members!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my the thot of u guys put a big grin on my face.. not the surprise at the esplanade, or the big box or anything else.. but it was the me discovering the surprise that was the most fun of it all! ahahaha. gee.. i m so sorrie that i foiled ur plan.. haha. next time i will try very hard not to be intelligent okie? hee. but anyway.. u guys REALLY MADE MY DAY! haha. i seriously cant think of a better way to celebrate my birthday. n in advance.. thanx for the ADIDAS JACKET! hahahahaha.
special mentions to ying and eugene. the "ceo"s of xiaoting proj. and yiwen who came all the way!

2. jc cluster :)
hey u guys r really awesome. thanx for celebrating my bday and putting a smile on my face and being such a fun n sporty group to lead! i enjoyed every minute with all of u.. i promised u i will get a v cam to record down the NGE square AN square! haha. n N-O-R-T-H i say N-O-R-T-H! n.. erm too many to name.

got to go for lecture. later i will continue k.. bye! btw now in ntu library! :)

tdy is arise n build sunday.

after so long we r back. to arise n build.

pst was jus toking abt ur precious. ur benjamin. n tears rowed down my eyes.

wad is my precious? i asked Him.

and He said " ting i wan ur life."

not like killing me like isaac.

but God wants me. my life.

that is my precious.

and that is my best offering to Him.

had a great time with the cg at pasir ris park yest. God answered my prayers. ;) God is a good god. Recently jus came to the place of totally thanksgiving n submission to Him. God is good.
we really had a fun time in the water! splashing.. playing.. and all the stunts the guys try to do. check out the pictures! i m amazed by my photographing skills.. haha.

community.webshots.com/user/s_targazing

watched a lot like love too. it's been a long time since i watch such silly shows. haha. but it was really nice. i really really liked it. but poor chan eng has to watch it with me which is quite sad. haha. but it's nice! if u like silly romance comedies.. u will enjoy this.

went shopping n swimming tdy. din buy anything except for this pair of sandals that look almost identical to the previous one. haha. well.. that's all.

love Him more n more each day.

first time xiaoting m blogging from the office. for those dun noe, i m working in chec, a wonderful job God has blessed me with. :) blogging now cos there is a big restlessness in my soul from the Holy Spirit. that kind of feeling that something really bad is going to happen. yeeks.

it has been a long time that i have been blogging about how i feel but well i feel that i m really blessed. this June has been such a great month for me. from emerge to the israel trip. it really has been amazing.

it has been great going to israel, stepping on the same places Jesus stepped, being in the same places the Holy Spirit fell, how can words do justice to that very place? i din noe how it was like to be in Israel but seriously it is a spiritual trip, not jus a trip that u have fun. the Spirit of God was so strong in that very place and u jus encounter God in a measure like u nv did. u really feel that in the place it has a tremendous anointing.. coming back to spore u feel a bit suffocated. hahaha. kind of lame but that is part of the truth. hiak.

but well israel trip is over. n time to get on with my life. to see my cg grow. to see schs having revival. to see the power of God move in Singapore like it moved in Israel. the same spirit of God that raised Jesus from the dead is in us! n so we can do mighty things for God..

revival. revival. revival. revival. revival.

xiaoting is back frm israel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha.

well, to put it shortly, it was a fantastic trip. not jus one full of fun, but it was one filled with encounters with Him. hallelujah!

it was really a gr8 trip. being in the Holy Land is really different and u can see how God moved in that place. i m really tempted to type down how God spoke to me every day but.. haha. it is really too long. i m too lz to do it.

well, my heart is filled with joy even as i type abt it. i miss israel but yet i dun really miss it that much becos i brought a piece of the Holy Land back with me! haha. and that is wad i m really happy abt.. those encounters and the very presence of God, i brought it back with me. haha.

love the jews! and love the land of Israel and u r greatly encouraged to go to the Holy Land yah? ;)

btw jc cluster.. i did bring back some small gifts for u guys. pls do get it from me n all the best for ur exams!

oh.. n i forgot to announce that i m going to ISrael! on tues!!!!! ;)

feel free to tag abt wad u want ya? i will try my best to get it for u. hiak. ;)

hi guys.. i really broke my record for not blogging for such a long time. hiak. but well it has really been a busy time so i m glad i can rest yet sad at the same time that emerge is over!

i think it was an amazing idea to have emerge conference.. really. it is such an amazing time in the presence of God. i really pray that in our lives we can have the same kind of presence n power of the Holy Spirit..

and really this entry i wanna first write to my cg.

hey guys,

i pray that after emerge u will be really different. be a people of a different spirit like Caleb yet love the presence of God like Joshua. I pray that even as we have touched Heaven, we will nv be satisfied with something less. let's go for sth greater in our lives! n we all can see a revival in our schs ya? so let's keep on loving God more n more.. ;)

and to the jc cluster..

u guys rocked my world! man i nv thot this is wad i will get by joining pos. and boy oh boy u guys blew my mind! n God blew my mind too!! haha. the rest i will post on our blog k.. ;)

had a great day yesterday n today!

yest we had a great great service! man the power and the presence of God was strong..

"Ask! What shall I give you?"

It was really a tremendous service. Yet i pray that we will not just be touched by God, I prayed that our lives will be transformed. that we will have the heart of Solomon and be like Solomon.

and i watched a great show. Coach Carter. I recommend all to watch. It is a fantastic show and it teaches u a lot. it was a "wow!" show. be sure to catch it.

and tdy i had a great time at pos! thanks to all you guys who made my day.. u all really did with ur passion and enthusiasm. love u guys so much for all the fun and laughter and fellowship! you rocked my day!

i m happy now that i made the decision to go for it. haha. that i m asked back by bro edmund. cos u guys made it all worthwhile.. ;)

my net is working once again! praise the LORD for that! haha.

jus came back from taiwan. had a grrreatt trip! enjoyed myself so much. it is really abreak frm Singapore that I need. it has been fruitful, praying with the people there, sharing my experiences as a cgl n a member of chc.. yah. n u can really sense the hunger in them also! ;)

also got to know my leader in a different way, praise God for that! thankful to Him for bringing me on this trip.. it was a worthy one.

n thank God also that tdy i was promoted! praise God for that too! ;) attended my first agm.

i m going taiwan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haahaha. sorry for the break for so many days for not blogging den coming back such an exciting news! muahaha. but well, words cant express my excitement on going taiwan.. especially with weiqi n pastor!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!! friday is jus like a few days away.. after being in singapore for sooooooooo long.. hahahaha.

anyway last few weeks have been great n exciting! haha. it seems like my life has been spun around.. n i think that God has been so good to me!!!!! jus feel so blessed in His love.

God opened a door for me that I may work in CHEC and i think it is one of the happiest jobs i ever have. becos these pple r so real n it is simply different working in church.. k i m not working in church but it is jus different working in CHEC. it amazes me. n i love the colleagues n the students there.. when u hear my voice, u noe that im full of motivation for wad i m doing there. haha. n i guess the jobless for months is so worth it! becos God gave me a job beyond my wildest imagination.. hiak hiak.

i have always been wondering that i have come to this point of my life, den wad? n now God really opened my eyes to show me what He has in store for me..

i was feeling pretty tired.. as in mentally on sun n felt like i really needed a rest.. and God jus showed Himself so real to me during the service. Thank You Jesus for ur precious presence n ur strength and Your gentle loving arms that pick me up when i feel like i needed You most.. Love You.

it really has been a long time since i blogged. blogging lesser and lesser. well, jus dun the motivation to. hiak.

sy rogers was here again in the past week. learned a lot and i guess the most important lesson that i really learn is acceptance. acceptance towards others and hey! also towards urself. i think that is sth i really need. many times we jus keep on thinking we r not good enough for God.. who says so? you dun have to be perfect for me to love u. how apt that is! i guess it jus feels that sentence came out of God's mouth. and well we r fallen, and we live in a fallen world, so when we get dirty, clean up, fall down den get up. nothing simpler than that huh..

these few weeks have been great! at benny hinn's conference n i guess many of us have been transformed by His power. not benny hinn's, God's power and glory. and the person of the Holy Spirit. i simply love Him, dun u? and sy rogers came n after that we r having our easter.. aint that power-packed? we r really going to see a harvest this weekend!

n to update abt my life, i m going to study chinese in NTU and in june i m going israel. :) so that is about it.

one last note, my students who r reading my blog, from 3h, 3i, 1a, 4h, u r invited by me! haha. for our easter drama production this sat and sun to celebrate easter with us at indoor stadium!
3 pm and 7.30 on sat. 11 am on sun. do come n enjoy urself! pls tag on my tagboard if u r interested. :)

离开学校几个月，惊然发现，我的华文真的退步了！去到圣公会教华文我还非常的小心翼翼，但还是犯了不少错。

这一趟在圣中还真是不容易，发现到真的要懂得怎样处事待人。

人的心，有两面。一面是你自己真正的感觉，另一面则是别人看你的心。你可以是带着善意，也可能被误为是恶意，这就是人。

以上是学到的第一堂课。

第二堂则是人言可畏。 经过这一次，我会更加谨慎的处理我所说的话。

祸从口出。

但我也感觉到了人的单纯，可爱。一种 – “我就是喜欢你”的接受，而那令我有一股莫名的感动。一种真实的 – 喜欢。

我也察觉了长大的悲哀，如果因为长大，而让心变得越来越小，越来越不能相信人，喜欢人，那也是悲哀。

上了几趟人生重要的课。我还蛮喜欢教书。；）

i m going to blog in english den chinese. seriously, after i got my 'a's, i got to start wondering abt my future. so many pple r asking me wad i wan to study n wad i wan to do. my oh my.. acty like dunno how long ago i have made up my mind that i wan to go ntu to study chinese. but becos of many reasons, i m starting to waver. hee. but the fact remains that my deep interest in chinese has not left, n due to my superfacial knowledge of chinese history and literature, i have decided i will study chinese. becos wad i know simply cant match up to wad i wan to noe.

tml is the day!

hey i m back after so long. it has been a fulfilling week. i was teaching in ahs since last tues. haha. told ying that i m not teaching den suddenly ahma ask me to take her place so i ended up teaching yan hong n yulan. hee. yep i agree i got a loud voice. especially when my class is particularly loud. muahaha. so i got to rise above them. dun test my limits yep.. haha. n i thot i m only to teach for only 2 days, only to noe that another tcher was on mc until tml so i end up sitting beside ahma teaching for another few days. boy oh boy aint it an experience.. i enjoyed myself! hahaha.

it was kind of funny cos i was teaching pple like daniel and some other that i have known before.. but it was kind of fun, especially teaching the sec 4s and 1s also. the sec 1s are really cute and the sec 4s were really nice. i had the honour of giving away their o level chinese results n i felt like it was really an experience n a priveilege. yep. n they did extremely well too. well done! ;) n it was really funny when i was in 3e and ying n yulan screamed when they saw me. n ting ting msging me telling me that they were really shocked to see me. n oh to have javier's sis in my class also. n also taking cab tog with my student. haha. and having to be mistaken to be ying's sis. kind of interesting huh. n to watch a match ahs vs cchsm and to support ahs after all my life i have been wishing they will be defeated. (sorry guys) n they were. i m sad for that really. ;) u all have it to go all the way. n it continues.. that my dearest ahma brought me to some weird place to eat some weird indian food in the open air. where the wind blows and we have added natural ingredients in our drinks and murtabak. muahaha. where the wind blows and the flower flows. (it rhymes!) into my drink. yucks. haha. and the murtabak which two of us pathetically only ate like half of it. wad a waste army guys! n it tasted nice. haha. and hving to walk in really painful heels. acty the heels arent painful. it is jus that my old "injury" worked up on me tdy. Dear God pls heal. it hurts tdy u noe. kind of quite badly that i got to limp a bit so that i dun hurt it so much. yep. and tml is my last day. haha. i enjoyed myself thoroughly so to say. and seriously, if God calls, i would love to go into teaching. becos it is a major satisfaction to be a fren to ur students.

oh yep and tdy is the release of o level results. my congratulations to all those who have done so well. ;) and those who did not get the best results, keep on working hard yah..

and well, i m waiting for my turn too. it is coming. before u noe it. keep me in ur prayers k.. or should i say, my results. but ahma said sth that encouraged me tdy. i have the peace of God within me. which reminds me of wad Pst Ulf said. the peace of God which surpasses all understanding. when i first memorised this verse i din noe wad it means. now i noe. that when ur situation tells u u shld be nervous and apprehensive, the peace of God will be upon u, even when u dun understand how u can have it, or how u can be so calm.

fight the good fight of faith.

kind of silly but i cried after reading samuel's (chan) blog. acty to be honest i din really ever properly looked back n conclude my yr. although it is alredi 15 feb, it is lunar chu qi, i think i m going to conclude my yr like now.

i guess the thing i can say abt 2004 is i let go. i cant count u noe, the number of things that i actually did let go. n can i say it had been a lot. but it had been a great yr. it was a yr that i let go, n when i begin to let go, God begin to bring many things to pass. so many. i will say it is a yr that dreams came to pass.

i think i cried a lot. haha. in 2004. but sth abt it. i love crying. haha. as in not like i m a crybaby, but it is that kind of feeling of jus letting everything out of u. haha. there were many heartbreaks too. when u let go, there r bound to be heartbreaks also. but God took over at the end of the day. yep. suddenly i dun wish to go on anymore.

next wk is pst ulf. can't wait.

这个新年，我不得不承认，过得比往年更充实，更有意义。

今年，我带着前所未有的自信，去拜年。而大家，理所当然的，也觉得晓亭不同了。大家都说我成熟了。难道十八岁和十七岁真的有这么大的分别吗？哈。我不知道。我知道的是，今年过得很开心，因为我找到自己。

i m back frm service. this week is coming to an end. frankly speaking, i m looking forward to the end of the week and to a chinese new yr week. haha. boy, i think i have been resting too long n when i jus simply do sth, now i feel kind of tired. i need my stamina back.

well, i have not done my spring cleaning yet. oops! tml i will get down to it. my room is getting messy again. haha. hopefully i can get it to be spick n span. is that how u use the phrase?

service was great! i was not so wrong abt pst john after all. haha. i remembered that i enjoyed him very much and well, i really really did. the 2 messages blessed me tremendously.

Grace empowers you to do wad truth demands of u.

You determine the intimacy of ur relationship with God, not God.
You can have as much of Him as you want to.

Friends of God r those who fear Him.

yep this is somewhat the essence. n i bought the book n the cd drawing near. feel free to borrow. take care guys..

n dear 3i, i have not forgotten my message to u. can i write in chinese? haha.

可以教你们是我的荣幸。 可以和你们分享我的生活，学习生涯也是我的荣幸。能但你们四天的老师更是如此。一日为师，终生为母？哈哈。应该可以算是姐吧。你们这班想的东西比较多。（我不是说3H没有想，请不要误会。3H 想的事情是在另一方面，是不一样的领域。）你们两个是不同的班，属于不一样的性格，所以不要比较了好吗？哈哈。让我轻松的说完。你们是很有才华的一班，对周遭的事物想的会蛮多，虽然你们甚少发言。就像我刚才写的一样，让我们不光是想，也学会出点力好吗？德明是你们的。我认为你们是可以在德明里带来改变的，只要你们肯去争取，是做得到的。既然你们已经在DHP, 就让它成为去美好的一段日子和环境好吗？

好喜欢教你们这两班，谢谢你们对我的支持。虽让我觉得我教的并不是很好，但是你们还是欣然接受，让我感到安慰。谢谢！

u guys have been really appreciative of me and i m so appreciative of that. to 3i, thanx for listening to me. all my silly stories. haha. sorrie for the lack of ghost stories. i dun really tell them. do not feel sad about staying in dhs k.. once u have decided, there is no room for regret ya.. keep on keeping on. thank for cheering for me too. haha.

to 3h and i, u guys ROCK my world!

last words:
青春不留白

tdy i had a great day in dhs. when i was walking out of dhs, although i taught for only 4 days, there was a tinge of sadness. i din expect that i will feel this way n really miss teaching in this place. when i graduated frm dhs, i came back like only a few times. 5 fingers is more than enough to count. n i came back really to see my frens. to me, dhs din really have something that kept me back. tdy i found that thing in this place that kept me back n here. 德明的人情味。

had a fulfilling n meaningful talk with wu lao shi n mrs har. something i really like abt dunman high is the teachers. they r jus so nice, so down to earth, so sincere. wu lao shi is so motherly! yah. the second day when i came, she kind of hugged me n she is that kind of person whom u jus feel like u can rest in her arms. haha. and she is so dedicated to education. that she is not discouraged, tired, but she still doing her part to change things. haha. i m blogging abt her, jus like wad wei biao did. wad i like abt her is that she doesnt jus bring things up, she is constantly looking for solutions. n i think that is wad things shld be. we dun jus talk the talk, we walk the walk.

mrs har is so cute! and she still is. i really like her. n i think she is really pretty. haha. 很有亲和力。and was jus telling her abt east view. haha. wei biao i told her abt the attraction in east view thingy. oops. haha. den she was telling me it is really a good experience and we really get to see the world out there. and she said this: we live in a protected environment. which i so very much agree. now i feel like maybe i wun dread east view so much any more.

suddenly becos of these few days, i have learnt to appreciate dhs. even mr kiw. n i have grown to love this place more. thanx guys for being a part of my world in dunman high. dear 3h n i, this is wad i got to tell u k..

u all may think that sch is tough. u guys dun like the rules, dread the discipline and this is part of the process i have been through before. and to tell u the truth, i have felt wad u guys felt, complained my share, and now i look back, tog den i realise i have walked out of this. becos this is dunman high. and this is the sch u have chosen to come n stay in. it is part of the package guys. u have good n bad things here, jus like how u will have it similarly in other places. as in u will have certain good things and yet certain things which u dun like cos nothing is perfect in this world. 鱼与熊掌，不能兼得。learn to love this place becos u have 4 more yrs. i think i would have learn to love dhs more, and not complain so much abt it if i get to do it all over again. but dhs has its history. and i pray from the bottom of my heart that it will always go on from strength to strength.

do i sound really sentimental? i think i do. becos i jus realise that dhs holds more for me than wad i have realised before. i dun think i will go into moe n teach. but if i do, i promise u, i will be back in this place. rock on. n if i can, i will do my part to make dhs a better place.

i love my classes!

boy o boy! to tell u the truth, teaching at dunman high is such a wonderful experience! i love it to the maximum.. man, i m going to miss teaching these peeps! haha.

today is my third day and tml will be my last. well, when i first went to teach them on mon, thank God they were so not intimidating. haha. cos i kind of expected DHP classes to be like mugger class (oops guys!), but they turned out to be such lovely students! they were lively, active, pretty responsive and they made my teaching experience such a memorable one. ;) i do wish n hope that i can teach them longer. especially teaching chinese when u can really tok to them, share with them. haha.

Dear 3h, (if u guys happen to read this)

u all were such a lovely bunch of pple! thank for brightening up my days so much! i kind of miss that 3 cheers thingy, cos we seldom do it in hwa chong. but when u all did it for me, i was so touched! haha. i felt like if i have taught u all a bit more, i would have teared. haha. thank u for the lovely memories, u guys r wonderful students and were so obedient n cooperative also. haha. i dunno wad to say about u really. felt that u guys will really enjoy ur days in dhs, cos u r really a lively bunch of pple. can sense tat strong spirit in u, though u all r only tog for a while. so keep there going ya.. i still feel sad for u all that u r going to be in dhs for so long! haha. but it is okie.. hopefully things will begin to change in a better way.. ;) enjoy ur sch days.. it is precious, u have only so many years to go. it may seem like a long time, but boy, time really flies.

i enjoyed my days in dhs. enjoyed my frens, the crapping, the laming, the stupid scandals and rumours(which r often not true, haha). n i had nice tchers too. think this is wad u guys will really enjoy. i think this is too heavy and sentimental for the beginning of the yr. haha. but if i have a chance again, i will take u back to be ur chinese teacher. ;)

Dearest 3i, i will leave urs for tml when i return after my last day k.. ;)

great!

this few days thing have been so good. haha. there was so many "first time"s for me. i din enjoy all of them, but it was really an adventure. it is really true when pple say that it is really an adventure with God and things dun get boring.

last fri went back to dhs. mr fong was really pretty nice. haha. offering me jobs and arranging things for me. but wad i m supposed to teach in dhs is really beyond my imagination. really out of my league kind of thing. but it will still be an experience though. i m praying that i will enjoy myself to the fullest.

this few days r so exciting! haha. n God has proven Himself to be faithful. really wan to love His presence.

happy birthday michael!

back to blog. i think cos i really like this blogskin i will feel like blogging to see something nice on it. haha. acty i dunno wad to write here. hiak.

life is a great journey. sometimes it can get tough, to the point that we feel like giving up. sometimes our future looks so dim! that we cant even see our fingers before us, not to mention God's. sometimes it seems like we will nv walk out of where we are, we will forever be stuck here in this place, in this state. sometimes we dunno where we r going, and we dunno what our future has in store for us. sometimes i feel this way. haha.

but well, thank God life is always going from glory to glory, and He never fails to bring me out of where i m. i m looking forward to breakthroughs after breakthroughs and i m looking forward to His presence in my life. Or should i say He is inhabiting in the midst of us. thank u Lord.

我很喜欢晚上这个时间。突然又不想写了，晚安。

changed my blogskin!

hey guys i have changed my blogskin! haha. do u like it? feel so inspired by Abraham. that is y i always put my nick as stargazing. stars remind us of God's goodness and promises yeah? ;)

it has been a while since i blogged. hee. lazy lah. anyway wad i have been was jus spending my time lor. haha. giving bible studies, relief teaching and teaching my nieces' tuition. which i enjoyed to the maximum man. haha. love them. and it is fun. last week i visited my grandfather also. boy i made it a resolution this yr to love and care for my family even more.

relief teaching has been okie. the teacher i relieved was a Christian! although he din noe i m one. yep. but the kids were really noisy and naughty. especially the primary threes. supposed to teach cme. they din listened so i tried to do kind of a skit. haha. but failed also lah. in a sense. well the primary ones were nicer. but one used vulgar lang and i tell u, i was so angry that i scolded him like dunno wad. haha. really. and the class was so shocked. haha.

next week i m teaching in dunman high. teaching the dhp pple. pls wish me all the best. hoping i wun pronounce anything wrongly. i have decided to jus go there n be really humble. haha. cos i think they r much better than me. hiak hiak. tdy went shopping and bs. wow. i learnt a lot in GOTP. think that the Bible is jus so amazing. ha. if u r free and have nth to do, feel free to ask me out. cos i m free! haha.

tdy i had my first relief teaching experience. haha. it doesnt feel like earning money at all. as in like doing hard work. i was teaching the kids in TNS. m thinking shld i put down the sch jus in case? haha. okie lah i was teaching at tao nan. it is not too bad. dealing with little kids. but i think we jus got to learn to make lessons a bit more interesting. haha. which apparently i dun really noe. oops. the pri 3s r okie. not too bad. pretty restless they r. n noisy. haha. the p1s r scary. u imagine having a class of 30 kids. and half of them r calling after u. teacher, can i go toilet? teacher, can i drink water? teacher, can i go to fill my water? teacher! i dunno how to do! teacher! i finish redi! teacher! i very urgent! teacher and the list goes on.. haha. boy.. they r really a handful n i really din noe how to control them. walking abt in my heels is not too fun either. i came home so tired. but happy somehow. lying on the sofa n i fell asleep. but i think teaching pri sch is not that bad, i earned my first 65 bucks. boy.

stay in tune for more next week.. adventure at geylang methodist. tdy i taught my niece in tao nan! happen to take her class for one period. ;)

Daddy is back! i really missed him while he was away n boy aint i glad that he is back. haha. thank God i din go cos they said that it wasnt fun! but frankly speaking i think i might have enjoyed it big time. but it is okie cos i chose not to go. ;)

has been a while since i last blogged. many have been asking me wad m i doing now that i m schless and jobless. haha. well, to update u once again on my well being, i have been really kind of doing nothing. for the last week, the best thing that i did was sleeping? but it is really too much. cos i slept too much. haha. sometimes up to 12 hours a day. boy oh boy but that is not the norm. i have been watching tv and going out also. n i read! that is the very best thing i did i think, which i enjoyed thoroughly. seriously those who r out there in sch, studying is the best thing u can do. i miss doing tutorials, having lectures, but do not miss wearing sch uniforms though. hc uniform is seriously too hot. yes i miss homework. i mean that frm the bottom of my heart. yest i jus read a book abt a princess in saudi arabia which was a not bad read. not really good.. but not bad. yep.

i enjoyed service in the weekend totally. wad a msg to kick off the yr. to have Jesus Christ as the foundation, ur beginning and ur end. this is the verse God has given me for the yr. everytime i come to it i have a deeper n deeper n deeper understanding of it. and it is a verse all of us r so familiar with.

Matt 6:33-34
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

here it is for u to meditate on. ;) have a great week guys!

hiak. i m back to blog again. acty i would really like to change my blogskin, but thinking of all the troublesome html jus makes me not want to do it. haha.

this time in the night always sets me thinking. gee.

我常常在这里不用华语发言是因为害怕许多人看不见，但是现在想用我最熟悉的语言。看到许多人回学校了。我好想念上课的日子！真的。非常想念。现在才知道什么叫做珍惜你眼前所拥有的。想到以后再也没有这种上学的感觉，是无比怀念。虽然会上大学，那确实不一样。今天在家里烂了一整天，才发现到晓亭是一个闲不下来的人。发觉到我开始得背负一点点大人的责任，就那么一点点。那车费，电话费，吃饭，看戏，原来都要钱。哈。好可笑的“发现”。

我可不可以想念德明，想念那无忧无虑的生活。想念那一群陪我笑，陪我哭的朋友。不管我是多么的傻，他们都接受我。因为现在，连我自己都不可以接受自己去这么傻呀，傻呀地走下去。

我可不可以想念华初，想念那一群每天上课都有无数笑话，让上学的日子不再烦闷。我想念每一堂语特的课，老实说，今天有点想念kapo. 哈哈。 想念他的红楼梦，还有他的hu啊。 哈哈。今天有一点失去自己的感觉。好想找回一点点的晓亭。现在，我要做的是什么呢? 更奇怪的想法是，晓亭身边的朋友又是谁呢？ 哈哈。真是胡思乱想。

大家晚安！

freak xiaoting is really rotting at home. though i really read a lot, hmm, but i m still somewhat rotting. i have to get out of my hse n get out of this slacking lifestyle. muahaha. read some silly books. rotted. hmm.. ahah. somebody help? haha.

at the beginning

we were strangers, starting out on a journey
Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through
Now here we are, i'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me i was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When i lost hope, you were there to remind me
This is the start

And life is a road that i wanna keep going
Love is a river, i wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end i wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

And life is a road that i wanna keep going
Love is a river, i wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end i wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

And life is a road that i wanna keep going
Love is a river, i wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end i wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Yeah

Life is a road that i wanna keep going on
Love is a river, i wanna keep going
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road that i wanna keep going
Love is a river, i wanna keep flowing
In the end i wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

happy 2005!

right now it is already yr 2005 and 2004 is over. boy oh boy. how fast time passes huh. had a grrreeeaaattttt time today with my cg. e18 & e357. haha. though e18 is not really my cg. haha. but we had a fantastic cgm! it was simply so exciting. beyond words. tdy i jus realise that we realy did grow as a cg. there were so many new faces as compared to last yr! but yet all these pple were integrated, growing in the cg and i m so grateful to God for that.

simply cannot believe how time passes. that i have finished my 'a' levels. enjoyed my holidays with my members. n now mos of them r alredi going back to sch. how fast can time pass huh.
tdy we did a special item for sis meiyan. like wad sis meiyan said i wished she will be moved to tears. haha. but she is a strong woman. but i was almost moved to tears though. by wad she said. and i enjoyed every minute standing there singing "at the beginning". yeah! it is now really our all time favourite kind of thing. wad a great song.

thank u sis meiyan for being my leader and for sowing into my life. everything that u have done is really appreciated. like u will not exchange us for any other members, we, at least me! will not exchange u for any other leader in the world. cos in my eyes, u r simply the best.

thank u e18 for the joy the blessings and the fellowship. it has been a great joy! and it will continue to be.

e357, in the coming year, let us love God even more. let us enlarge our tents and strengthen our stakes.. let us take chung cheng, jun yuan, ahs etc etc for Christ k.. i believe everyone of u can do it. keep on shining n loving Him.

i m stepping into the new year. n it will be another great year.