CG appreciation 2010

Had our own mini CG thanksgiving, and it was one of the most beautiful CG meetings I have been to.

Kudos to Evelyn and Dong, we had such a great time of games! They did such a great job :) *clapsssss*

Next up, the presence of God was tangibly felt as we sang How awesome is this place, and my God reigns. It was a beautiful moment as I saw all my members lifting up their hands, just worshipping the Lord and declaring that "my God reigns". Yes Jesus you reign, in our lives, in CHC, in E357. And a big thank you to Chee Wee, who did such a great job every week on the guitar, contributing greatly to the atmosphere. :)

And thank you for evelyn, for sharing how God has touched and brought you through in every area of your life.

I honestly meant every word that I shared, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, for being so flexible, so willing, so persevering, so full of faith and so loving.

Thank you Eve, Chee Wee and Val! You guys had to put this up in a short period of time, and you did it :) Thank you for THANK YOU :)

Thank you for your generosity, for sowing into God's house, you guys are GIVING!

Thank you to Dong, for your passion for the lost, it nv fails to inspire me and touch my heart.

Thank you to Yifeng, for always availing yourself, taking such great initiative, to help out in every area possible.

Thank you to Chee Wee once again, who has done such a great job on the guitar, it makes my job as a songleader a breeze.

Thank you to Yuk, for loving God the way you do, and inspiring me with your simple love for God. (And a BIG thank you to Cally for your heart for people, and for helping Yuk becoming all that he is!)

Thank you to Alvin, for not giving up on God in spite of it all, you inspire me w your perseverance. And Kelvin, the other perseverance award goes to you, for persisting on this yr in every area of your life.

And to Eve, thank you so much for standing in the gap, God has great things in store for you.

And to everyone in E357, thank you for being here in 2010. I thank God for you, making mentions of u in my prayers.

Thank you to Dong, for rallying the people in a time to appreciate me, I was truly touched.

What a song you all chose, Do I make you proud.

Tears well up as I look into your faces, yes all of you make me very proud.

And though KT is funny as usual, but thank you for appreciating me :) Keep on keeping on.

And Eve, thank u for allowing me to be your leaders.

And Dong, that poem is beautiful! Maybe u shld consider E Lit after all. Can u pleaseeeeeee put up that poem here? Haha. I was so moved by that heartfelt poem. I love u dong! Thank you for being such an awesome member, for always being here, for being so teachable, you make the job of a leader so easy.

To Zhang Tingting!!!!! I miss you sooooooo much!!!! But i guess you will miss us much more!

Thank you gal for standing by me all these yrs. You saw my weaknesses as a leader, yet you stuck around, serving God and serving me, sharing my heart, fighting battles with me. You truly saw what many don't see, and my prayer for you always, (yes even when you r in China, I am still praying for you, out of sight, but definitely not out of mind) that you will fulfill God's destiny for your life, and become the person that God wants you to be. You have a great future ahead! And honestly, I can't wait for 7 Jan.

So thank you!

A special shout out to all from w497, thank you guys! It has not been easy going through the changes, but u guys hung around, stuck around, and I thank you for that! Thank you for allowing me to be your leader. Love u all *muacks*

I woke up in the middle of the night doing this at 3am becos I just want to pen down this beautiful memory.

What a great thanksgiving we had.

And Jesus, thank you for being the Lord of our lives. Thank you for knitting us tog as one, in one family, for giving us one another, that when we are tired and weary, we know someone is there to spur us around. We love you Jesus :)

So E357, thank you for fighting the good fight of faith, and let's end 2010 with a BIG bang! Souls saved this Christmas, disciples added, and a great zone thanksgiving awaits us!

LOVE YOU ALL!!

"Do I Make You Proud"

I've never been

The one to raise my hand

That was not me

And now that's who I am

Because of you

I am standing tall

My heart is full

Of endless gratitude

You were the one

The one to guide me through

Now I can see

And I believe

It's only just beginning

This is what we dream about

But the only question with me now

Is do I make you proud

Stronger than I've ever been now

Never been afraid of standing out

Do I make you proud

I guess I’ve learned

To question is to grow,

That you still have faith,

Is all I need to know,

I’ve learned to love,

Myself in spite of me,

And I’ve learned to

Walk on the road I believe.

Everybody needs to rise up

Everybody needs to be loved

To be loved

Everybody need to rise on

Everybody needs to be loved, to be loved

This is what we dream about

But the only question with me now

Is do I make you, do I make you proud

This is what we dream about

Never been afraid of standing out

Do I make you proud

Stronger than I've ever been

Never been afraid of standing out

Do I make you proud

Do I make you proud

Yes you do!

UP

the most amazing time we had at UP!

we are now going UP, to the next level.

thank God for the awesome committee, it was mind-blowing.

and i am so happy i met w God all over again.

it is a privilege to be a levite in this house.

love my pastors, leaders, and all the co-workers alongside me.

and love my God, who is bigger than anything in the world.

THANK U JESUS. :)

the kingdom mind

Jesus spent 3.5 years imparting to His disciples.

as i was reading the Word, i realised, He was just trying to teach them something, or rather, impart to them, the kingdom mind and the kingdom life.

He spent 3.5 years living life with them, and be a model of the kingdom life.

He spent 3.5 years teaching them, imparting the kingdom mind.

At the end of the day, it was so that they would catch His mind and live His life, and do what He has done, in a greater proportion.

God has called us, to change our thinking to be like His, to change our lives to be like His.

But many want their own mindsets and their own lifestyles (or the world’s) more than His.

Are you and I willing, for God to do that transformation work in us? To think like He wants us to think, and live like He wants us to live?

Christmas and love

Stepped out of suntec, with the streets still wet with rain, and seeing the red and white christmas deco reminds me of him.

It all started last xmas.

I still rem, xmas deco was up in suntec, n it was rainy all day long. It was the dark cherry mocha that warmed my heart in that cold "winter" in singapore.

It continued w late night phone calls, xmas gifts, n a date on xmas eve.

Christmas now has a evener bigger place in my heart.

<3
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awake at 4.48am

i forgot to add. the reason why i am awake now, is because i spent the last 4 hrs packing my room.

just wanted a freshness in my room.

what Pst said is true. Our room does reflect the condition of our soul.

And I m getting my room cleaned up, in order.

Ps 84

God answered my cry today.

Not during the BS, not because someone spoke to me, not when i prayed, but just through the simple sharing of one, of how God reminded her of a verse. and it blessed me so much.

Ps 84:5-7

Blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
         Whose heart is set on pilgrimage.
 As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
         They make it a spring;
         The rain also covers it with pools.
They go from strength to strength;
Each one appears before God in Zion.

I don’t know how to tell you, how much this verse actually speaks to me. but every part of these 3 verses speak right into my situation.

I m blessed.

My strength is in God.

My heart is set on pilgrimage, till i come to the place that He wants me to be.

The Valley of Baca is not a permanent place, it’s a place that we pass through.

When i pass through it, with my great attitude, i will make it a spring.

The rain of the Holy Spirit will overflow the valley of Baca with blessings.

I will go from strength to strength.

And I will appear before God in Zion, blameless.

When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.

times and seasons

this season spells tough all over it, and from the bottom of my heart, i really feel that i dunno how to do this.

i dunno who to talk to.

i dunno what to do with it.

it’s just so difficult and sticky.

1 Cor 10:13

《浪淘沙·莫道谗言如浪深》

莫道谗言如浪深，莫言迁客似沙沉。

千淘万漉虽辛苦，吹尽狂沙始到金。

                                 

                                               - 刘禹锡

解释：

不要说流言蜚语如同凶恶的浪涛一样令人恐惧，也不要说被贬谪的人好像泥沙一样永远颓废沉迷。淘金要经过千遍万遍的过滤，要历尽千辛万苦，最终才能淘尽泥沙，得到闪闪发光的黄金。

约伯记23：10

“然而他知道我所行的路；他试炼我之後，我必如精金。 ”

Purposed in her heart

To always be contented with what God has given her

To always be thankful for the great life God has given to her

To always do the will of God in her life

To always love, in spite of

To discipline herself in every single area

To be faithful over what God has given to her

To always trust in Him, that everything is gonna be alright

She purposed in her heart

To be a woman aft His own heart
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不照我的意思，照你的意思成就

最近，倍感壓力。

不僅僅是外在的，更多的，或許是內在的許多掙扎。

開始辨別出來，這是一個極大的考驗。

起碼，我的感覺是如此。

腦海裡一直浮現一些畫面和言語。

God said of David, he is a man after My own heart, and do all My will.

我反复思索，有多少人真的可以成為凡事都遵行祂旨意的人啊？

記得陳牧師曾說過，我們會在“忠心”這方面受到試探。

我們會有這樣的誘惑，不要再忠心下去了。

你會想要走別人的路，而不是自己該走的路。

你會想要做別人所做的事，而不是自己該做的事。

你會想要擁有他人的事工，而不是忠心的守住你的事工。

你會想要擁有他人的生命，而不好好活出自己的生命。

問題：如果別人的事工看似比你的成功，別人的生命看似比你的幸福，別人的領袖看似比你的優秀，別人的家庭看似比你的快樂，你是否還能忠心的做你該做的事？

而我的領悟？

我們都有一條自己該走的路。

His life is never mine, neither is my life his.

有多時候，我們會很想要做比較。

But there is really no basis for comparision.

神賜給你我的命定，不是讓你有多成功或了不起，其實只是，單單跟隨祂，活出祂的旨意。

我的祈求：

Job 23:10

“When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. ”

“然而他知道我所行的路；他试炼我之後，我必如精金。 ”

我希望這是我生命的故事。

train is coming jingle

contrary to most people, i really think this jingle is super amusing.

and it gives me a good mood, cos it feels like x’mas is coming, haha, don’t you think so?

i am absolutely tickled by it. hurhur.

cheap thrill.

inspiration

i never truly understood the meaning of inspiration, until i met this couple, who laid down everything for the vision of God in their lives, then i understood true inspiration.

they truly inspire.

just like many around me have inspired me, in every single area.

and there came a secret desire, that i can live my life as an inspiration.

it is a burden in my heart.

the same DNA i caught, the same values i have, the spirit of sacrifice we carry, will be passed on, from this one, to the next, to the next and to the next generation.

it does affect me when people do not understand sacrifice.

because one of the essence of Christianity, is sacrifice. That is John 3:16.

it does affect me when people do not understand delayed gratification.

when they want something or someone, but they are not willing to wait for the right time.

when I saw the verse Acts 13:22, David did ALL of My will.

say “ALL” and all means, ALL.

how many of us, would one day be able to say, I have done everything God wants me to do.

My prayer, is that you, you and you, will walk worthy of the calling that God has given to you.

My prayer is, that my life can truly be an inspiration, that when u see how God has blessed me because I was willing to sacrifice, I was willing to lay down, I was willing to put aside my “wants”', as long as it is not in the will of God, God has blessed me 100 fold and beyond, and granted me the desires of my heart.

to walk worthy, of your calling. 

090910

and… I said “yes”.

made in CHC

that day a friend text me n told me, someone asked her, what did CHC teach you?

she asked me, if it were you, how would you reply?

this was my reply.

CHC taught me… everything.

From being a student, to being a teacher

From being a disciple, to being a discipler

From being a child, to being a parent

From being a girl, to being a woman

From being a single, to being a girlfriend and one day, to being a wife.

What I am today, my values, my attitudes, my perspective, my lifetyle, is imparted to me in this special place.

my friend put it aptly – made in CHC.

judge me if u like, but i m a product of CHC.

“You can leave a church, an organisation, a pastor, a leader, but you never leave a family.” – Ed Silvoso

this is my family.

my quiet monday

monday is such a pleasant day. haha.

no agenda, no deadlines.

just chilling time.

it was a slow monday…

eating at bugis, buying a pair of new shoes, and searching out books in the library.

after that, desserts with my baby! and home sweet home… haha.

i wanted to post abt dinner last night with dear dear’s family… it was his dad’s birthday.

had a great time, and his family is awesome. haha.

loving life.

enjoying all, in spite of :)

this week

題目越來越沒有創意。因為不知道要用什麼字眼，來形容此時此刻的心情。

神學院結束後，應該能松一口氣，but life, does not seem to allow you to do that.

我有點累了。這場仗，好像在不斷的延長，that makes me feel like, 我不想幹了。

但是，放棄，從來都不在我們的字典裡，不是嗎？

今早，送走一個很要好的朋友兼戰友，很驚訝，自己在機場的時候，淚情不自禁的流。

除了思念之情之外，也發現，因為身邊少了一個可以傾訴，可以並肩作戰的對象。

記得昨天看到一句話，是米雪說的，一個人，我依然會微笑。

記得去年，當祂對我說話時，我如何回應祂。最近又想起我們那段談話。

感覺。這是生命裡的新篇章，但不管怎麼樣，不管排山倒海，不管前面道路有多困苦，我們都要，一直不停的走下去。

ttz, you r missed. really.

but i will keep on fighting, keep on running, keep on keeping on.

i was reminded.

attitude is everything.

everything.

in the midst of everything, the most important thing, is my attitude.

because my attitude determines my altitude.

you can do it.

just a lil’ overwhelmed.

just a little.

長長的週末

哈哈哈。

這是哪門子的爛中文。長長的週末。

可是，真的是如此啊。

爽到～

開心，因為花了兩天時間和 dear dear 在一起。

雖然沒做什麼，只是吃吃飯，逛逛街，看看書，就很滿足了。（哦，我終於看完了一本！余華的《活著》很不錯。看到哭了耶，能這樣看完一本書，超有滿足感的。呵呵。）

人生簡單無比的樂趣。

可能是開始運動的關係，整個人都沒有那麼累，還是因為，太悠哉啦？？哈哈哈。

今天學了一個新句子。。。

曉亭小學堂時間。

學一學，這句話。

為虺弗摧，為蛇若何？

猜一猜。。。什麼意思？

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

不要懶惰了，自己去查字典吧！

哈哈。

好人做到底。。。

here you go. 我換到簡體了。因為從網路上摘下來的。

为虺弗摧，为蛇若何

意思是：小蛇不打死，成了大蛇怎么办？原喻要趁敌人弱小时就把它消灭，后泛指坏人要及早除掉

你。。。記得了嗎？

the ups (and downs) of life

cannot recall when was the last time i was so stretched.

in times like this, i am always amazed when i look at the leaders around me, especially the different pastors and all, how on earth do they manage???

it was a long day, been some time since I have done things like that, but it’s good cos i m stepping out of my comfort zone. am tremendously encouraged by the sermon I preached. how, when we step out of our comfort zone, and get involved, somehow, we will see miracles, and the glory of God manifested in our lives.

Yes we can. because all things work together for the good of those who love Him.

in times like this, i am awfully thankful to God for my boyfriend, the one i can always run to in times of need. at the end of the day, no matter what i face, i know i can run to him, and it seems that everything will be ok. he is my pillar of support. God given. Not that i don’t need God la, but sometimes God work through people with skin on. hahaha.

and of course, i am awfully grateful to God, because He is the anchor of my soul. He is my hope. He is the one i can hang on to, and i know because of Him, everything is going to be alright. Thank you Jesus for the hope you have filled my heart with.

Sleeping very soon, though a long day, yet still not v tired. Cos I ate super late :( boo hoo, and now i wish my food will digest faster.

gogogo, xiaoting, ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.

anyway, for randomness sake, such a nice photo we took at 21st anniversary. oh and for that, it deserves another post for some another day, where I will thank my lovely God in heaven, for the opportunity to speak in the stadium. after an eleven yr break. wow.

it’s the time of the year

it’s yet again, the time of the year.

somehow this year, i was not particularly looking forward to the time of the year, and this year feels so much more low key as compared to the past years.

i used to look forward to it a lot more when i was younger, not any more now, not because i am older, but, hmm i also don’t know y. haha.

anyway, maybe it’s just because i am not in the mood these few days. the stress is building up on all sides. i just need to learn to relax a little and SMILE.

yes girl SMILE.

SMILE… trying to.

the miracle of life

my blog is very very very dead. i think. hahaha.

wow i just checked. the last post is exactly one month ago. or to be exact, one month and one day.

but i really don’t know what to post.

and why am i awake at this hour? because after 2 hours, i really cannot get to bed. and I gave up. so here I am.

after visiting Lifen n baby Jordan in January, today is really my first time visiting a friend whose child just came into the world yesterday.

it was such a surreal feeling.

and it’s the first time, that i really adore the newborn, admiring how cute she is.

i never could appreciate the beauty of newborns. but today i did.

and from the bottom of my heart, i felt happy for them.

生命的奇迹。

可以想象吗，神创造这世界的时候，祂到底放进多少心思，才有今天的宇宙呢？

一个男人和女人的连结，在九个月后，就有小生命诞生，而这小生命会慢慢成长，长大，成熟，生命本身，就是一个奇迹。

即使不认识神，在看到这么美丽的过程，也很难不去想象，我们的造物主是谁啊？祂怎么会有这样的智慧和本领，设计出这样延续下一代的方式。。。

而且，这也提醒了我，人与神的结合，也是如此。

the miracle of life.

乐熙，欢迎你来到这世界。

祝福你，在未来的日子，在爸爸和妈妈的呵护下，开心快乐的长大，and be, all that God wants you to be.

with love,

xiaoting & peter :)

Heartbreaks

Yesterday i heard a word that stayed with me. 同理心。

If i can translate it, i probably use the word empathy.

Dictionary.com says, it is the identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives.

Empathy is so important.

Something I experienced when I got attached, was how i would feel really sad, when something breaks my bf’s heart.

I would tear, when there are tears in his heart.

the same thing happened to him.

In the very same way, there are many close to my heart. And when their heart breaks, my heart breaks too.

That links me to empathy.

This is separate but yet related.

Are we able, to put ourselves in the shoes of others, and understand their situation, feelings and motives?

Or do we only see our point of view, and our view only.

do we put ourselves in others’ shoes.

our leaders, parents, friends, cg members.

to be continued…

Psalms 27

the word that God put in my heart yesterday.

Ps 27:13-14

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
         That I would see the goodness of the LORD
         In the land of the living.

Wait on the LORD;
         Be of good courage,
         And He shall strengthen your heart;
         Wait, I say, on the LORD!

中文的感动

我想要重新拾起阅读的习惯，特别是中文文章。

因为时间的限制，读完一本书比较困难 。

所以决定，从不同人的文章和部落格开始。

并且在这里记载，感动我的话。

如果有文章要推荐，please do so! :)

 

今天看到这段话。

有人说 当你真心爱上一个人的时候

任何一点小事 都会让自己感动 都想与他分享

如果真是这样 那无疑的 我是幸福的

无疑的 我是幸福的。 :)

发现了一个新作者

我想读她的文章。

不是艺术可以取代宗教，而是宗教真实的体会与深度，赋予艺术一种非凡的内涵，因而走向超越的向度！

——陈韵琳：《超验的艺术》

Just thoughts

thoughts running through my mind.

it was a super-mega long day, eventful, fruitful and of course tiring.

things weighing upon my heart.

just allow me to rant.

i love my Pastor. Without him, and without his ministry, I will never be who I am and where I am today.

When you love a person, and you hurt when the person hurts, that is love.

And when people out there, and the enemy out there, hurls darts, it hurts you too. Someone used this word malice. How aptly put. I thought so too. Malice.

It all boils down to the intent of your heart. That is why King David said

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
         Be acceptable in Your sight…” Ps 19:14

So, are the words of your mouth, and the meditation of your heart,acceptable in God’s sight? 

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Someone said, the CHC DNA, have you caught it yet? there are some, who seemed like, they are really not catching it. And they are baffled, perplexed, frustrated.

www.konghee.com/blog

have you read it yet?

it reflects my pastor’s heart. really.

we are not blind. love is not blind. love sees. love looks at the heart.

Grace and Mercy

Pst Phil touched on mercy on Tues. “Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”

Pst Bob taught about mercy today. I was not there, but was reminded of the importance of mercy.

I remembered, how Pastor will teach us, and Pst Ming will reiterate it, every time we see people making mistakes, don’t be quick to judge. But pray for them.

I remembered God spoke to me, to pray for my leaders, because they need a lot of wisdom to lead the church. And never to judge.

I read many who criticise, and feel provoked, but was reminded, not to judge, but to give grace and mercy.

The Lord will fight for us.

Learn to show mercy, in our word and deed.

Mercy triumphs over judgement.

Mercy.

my thoughts

what an irony, that after such a great conference last week, that we were on tv just the following day, apparently it wasn’t something that positive.

i have been thinking hard, and of course praying hard these few days.

it is interesting to observe reactions from everybody, members of the public, the media, the church family and of course those who are ever-present, the critics.

this thing came to my mind when this whole issue erupted, that i was so reminded of what dr cho said. his words were etched in my mind. he said, that God told him to live in the 4th dimension. You can see as the 3rd dimension sees, or you can choose to live in the 4th dimension, to see what God sees, and speak what God speaks.

You know what? People can argue and criticise all they want, they can say whatever they like to say, they might even win the argument or the debate, but at the end of the day, we cannot deny the reality of the 4th dimension. cannot deny how, even though Dr cho’s age was catching up with him, how we sense his love and such a pure spirit that he has. how he carried such an anointing of the Lord with him. how can we, describe this with the 3rd dimension?

And many who are in the 3rd dimension, try to argue against us, criticise us, analyse us but they still fail to comprehend, why oh why, is CHC like that?

I will choose the 4th dimension, to see as God sees, speak as God speaks. The media can say what they want, the critics can say what they want, i will choose to believe in what God says about the situation. Amen.

The other thing is, i am so proud of my spiritual family. we have never claimed that we are perfect, but we are one united family. i m so overwhelmed, when i read on facebook and twitter, how people said they will stand by Pst, Sun and the leadership. It is not just the staff and the leaders, but i can sense the love from the family. I love you all so much! in times like these, many would have left, but you guys stayed, gave your support and trusted YOUR and MY family, and we will continue to stand.

I love my family. I love CHC. I love my home.

Yes, like many have said, if not for CHC, i would never be where I am today. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Don’t separate God from the church, it’s quite impossible. God moves through the church, and in the church, after all, Jesus is the head of this body. :) And He reigns!

Jia you people, let’s continue to pray for this house!

just feeling a little sad.

as i was thinking about the people who chose to disappear from my life.

feeling a little drained.

i need You.

appreciation

we should always, always, always be appreciative of people.

there r so many times, that we just take people for granted.

and hereeeeee, i want to thank my BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR BEING THE WORLD BEST BOYFRIEND!!!!!!

i honestly think so.

what am i to do, without a man who loves me so much.

SO HUGS AND KISSES FOR YOU!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: Pls excuse the author’s mushiness, because, it’s MY blog!!!

单单跟从我

那天，祂说。

你所做的一切，只因为你爱我，也只因为，我要你怎么做。

和任何人无关。

祂提醒我，祂对彼得说的话。

『与你何干，你跟从我吧』

是啊，我们生命的呼召，就只是单单跟从祂。

其他的，一点有不重要。

有些人蒙召做保罗、有些人蒙召做彼得、又有人蒙召做约翰。

但有些人一生，只能做安德烈。

你会甘心乐意的跟从祂吗？

做祂要你做的事。

『不可偏离左右』，只要单单跟从祂。

when trying ur best is not good enough

i just like giving up.

and i cried and cried and cried and cried.

i don’t want to go home.

Day 2 in Kaohsiung

Came back to hotel and skyped with dear and slept at 2 plus am, praying that my nose will be ok the next day.

Pulled myself our of bed at 8 plus am for breakfast with Pst Stephen.

That was so fun! Pst Stephen had been in ministry for so long and he shared with me very exciting stories… about his salvation, his life, CHC in earlier days, his relationship with Pst Kong. I loooovvveeeee it. Had lots of fun talking to him and hearing from him. I m excited about the meetings already.

Signing off now, going to take some rest, work, till the first meeting tonight.

:))))) excited.

thoughts of the day: God is really in control. He is somehow so in control in ways we do not know. Sometimes we try too hard to help him, we need to learn to trust and be led. :)

byeeeee peeeepppppssssss!

Day 1 in Kaohsiung

It was a mad rush yesterday, trying to pack everything after SOT, and settle everything before i board the flight.

it was a small plane, so the take off was much more felt than usual.

i never missed someone so much in my entire life i think, except maybe mum.

felt so terrible when the plane took off and i was all alone.

i used to love flying a lot, but i realised i loved a certain someone more.

thank God that they were showing Did you hear about the Morgans so I had fun watching it. :)

caught some sleep and caught a slight cold too. so my nose was all runny on the train. hurhur.

a Taiwan friend of CHC picked us up and checked us into the hotel at 12 plus am. Thank you so much! i prayed and told God, the only thing i really need is internet access, and thank God that they have it. i m so blessed.

so here i am blogging, and i will probably update u guys in kaohsiung!

i m so sorry that i don’t have photos. did not bring a camera cos camera spoilt and i forgot to borrow one. silly me. :(

thank u baby for the little black book. it keeps me a little more sane.

love this day!

要是我有一百万

我要环游世界

thinking

was just reading someone’s blog that touched me a lot.

missed that sentimental n nostalgic part of me.

ever since i started dating, i really seldom spent time thinking abt things.

and tonight, i sat there, just thinking.

i’m flying to taiwan in approximately 42 hours. i know i m going to miss my baby, but i also know, i really need this break.

things have been zooming past me too fast.

work, ministry, relationship and life.

i need a breather. i need to think.

i need You.

so many things have happened, that there r days i sat there, thinking, i dunno how to do it without You.

i love You. :)

dear God

we often do not understand why things happen the way they do.

there have been so much going on lately, sometimes it seems that it’s more than what i can bear.

sometimes i wish, i can just take a big break and press the reset button.

but still i’m thankful to you, for the cross of calvary. without which, i could never have my life today. i honestly dunno, where i will be without You.

there are too many impossible situations in life, that we just cannot deal with on our own, and we desperately need You.

so from the bottom of my heart, I’m asking for that strength that will take me through. and also my frens who are hurting too.

thank You.

overwhelming Easter

many things happened this easter.

falling terribly sick is one of them.

God won’t you come… and make everything better?

manifest Yourself.

the word

Yesterday, this passage caught my eye. And I was so touched by it as I read it again.

God told Jeremiah about the good figs. The promise that He gave to me.

Jer 24:6-7

6 My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them.

7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.

the song of our lives

this song touched me a lot, because it really described what i’ve been through before i got attached.

不要惊动爱情

很想轻抚你 所以避开你
宁愿用距离 去令你好奇
回避过眼神 先偷偷喘气
吩咐手臂 放在原地
传闻浪漫太快 爱恋都走得快
才会 迟迟未步向你 说一世爱护你

 
情太过汹涌像深海 而我却会忍耐
但求来日你醒过来
这份情像翅膀打开
还没有相拥别意外 神教会我等待
待情流像细水 才去承诺你
拿一生兑换爱

 
很心急拥抱 所以在祷告
求甜蜜以前 带著你慢步
游历过旅途 等一天终老
生老病死 一起细数
原来慢慢靠近 更珍惜这一吻
而我 停留是为了你 要给予你护荫

能为爱恋学习按捺 情信寄进心内
但求能学会倚靠神
爱被驯服过更精采
连地老天荒亦不更改 时间永远等待
等你情愿那天 才去承诺你
无止境那份爱
我用沈默叫醒爱情 你用期待做你反应
继续行近直至开始爱

<3

 

i usually resist blogging a post dedicated to my bf, but this morning i woke up feeling like doing this.

coming to suntec feels different nowadays, because no one will pick me up at the gate, and buy breakfast with me, and carry my laptop for me, and hug me on the way to work.

yet i know he is in a much better place(SOT la) and i am happy that he is encountering God and receiving and growing like never before.

I am thankful to God for him in my life, the one who would call me every morning, wish me goodnight everyday, and who will always be there for me.

When i said that my bf is going SOT and working full-time, a friend said that I needed to be very understanding. In my heart i knew it’s the other way round. He is always the understanding one, that tries to work around my schedule, to just spend time with me everyday and every week. He is the one, who will spring little surprises on me all the time, cards, chocs, sweets, snacks… you name it, i may have it.

And he is my hero, because in spite of all these things, he still works hard to fulfil his work obligations, loves God, loves me the best he can. And he will forgo his sleep, just to pick me up at 230am after OPM, and going home to sleep a few hours before going for SOT again.

I don’t know what I have done, to deserve a man who loves me like that, but from the bottom of my heart, baby i want you to know, that I love you, and thank you for being a huge part of my life.

lots and lots and lots of love,

from your princess.

early monday morning

it was an eventful week, and crazily busy week.

It’s so seldom that i get to sit down and blog like that, at this hour.

it’s a monday, so i was supposed to be sleeping till 我自然醒。

我七点半就自然醒了。

Some things happened last week, some personally to me, some not. In all, it was a pretty stressful week for me, with all the challenges rising up to my neck. Days that I feel the devil was screaming in my face… and i have to grit my teeth and just go thru it. Days that i feel like giving up, and wonder what it is that I can do. And my heart goes out, because of certain things that were said and mentioned, that hurt people I love.

After a night’s sleep, everything seems a little different. I am a little calmer, and I thank God for my bf who is always around. Whom i can cry with, pray with, and whom i know will always be with me. He is really God’s gift to me.

This morning I was just thinking, that not everybody will understand why we are doing what we are doing, but it doesn’t matter as well. Some things will change, but some will not. It’s a spiritual kingdom and a spiritual family, and not just an institution, and that will never change.

And to those who disagree, it doesn’t matter, because we will continue moving on. But what we love, we will defend, and like what a friend said, when you talk about CHC, you r not just talking about a church or an organisation, it’s my spiritual home and family. We thank God for great leaders, and thank God for His wisdom, and the unity and family He has given to us. This is something we will guard and protect all our lives.

No offense to the people who disagree, we still love you the same, just hope that in your disagreement, you will not say things that will hurt my family. And I thank you for that.

To end off, i love what Ruth said. And I pray, that I will always have such an attitude in my life, towards God, towards His house, and the people He has placed in my life.

Ruth 1:16-17

But Ruth said:
      “ Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
      For wherever you go, I will go;
      And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
      Your people shall be my people,
      And your God, my God.

Where you die, I will die,
      And there will I be buried.
      The LORD do so to me, and more also,
      If anything but death parts you and me.”

What I love, I will defend

Overwhelmed in a meeting.

Tears flowed, like never before.

I shared his sentiments. I'm deeply saddened. Felt it not just today, but way back, when i read different things that surfaced.

They said these r acts of love. I love, therefore I m doing what I m doing. But, what u love, u will defend isn't it?

Ask constructively in love.

Questioning ur family publicly is not love, is it?

Its an attitude of demanding, not asking.
And demanding, from the man who laid down his whole life, questioning him.

I felt so grieved.

This is not blind faith, this is wholly following my God and the man He has placed over my life.

This is loyalty. This is the spirit of ruth.

I love my senior pst, becos if not for him, we will nv be where we r tdy. I love Sun, for all the sacrifices that she has made. There r so many things made public, but there r so much of their love, tears and sacrifices that r unknown.

City harvest is not just an organisation. Its the church of the living God. Its the spiritual home that God has placed me in. Its not a society, or a place that we can strut our stuff. It's God's house and our spiritual home.

I love and trust the leadership, this house, and I know, that I will lay down my life for this man, and this church.

Thank u Jesus. Its an awesome privilege to serve you in this house.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

keep on keeping on

2 Cor 4:7-15

⁷ But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

⁸ We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

⁹ persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—

¹⁰ always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.

¹¹ For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

¹² So then death is working in us, but life in you.

¹³ And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed and therefore I spoke,”^[a]we also believe and therefore speak,

¹⁴ knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you.

¹⁵ For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.

i love my church

was just pondering about some things, and just felt in my heart, that deep down, i love the house of the Lord and i love my church.

have been feeling disturbed by how.. people demand for their rights and trying to turn the KOG and the church into a democracy. Why are we using the principles of this world, and imposing it on the KOG?

We are not perfect right from the start. We are imperfect, but we are a body and we are a family. We rely on the Holy Spirit and do the best we can, relying on God the best we know how.

Jesus is the head of this house. He is the head of this body. Where He leads, we go, and we follow the ones that He has placed in our lives.

Call me naive if you would. But the 12 disciples followed Jesus wherever He went.

And i love my church, my leaders, my pastors and this house God has placed me in.

How awesome is this place, the gate of Heaven.

And so, let’s rejoice, in this awesome place that God has given to us. For where two or three are gathered, there You will be among us. This is Your church. :)

randoms

have been interpreting in Bible School and loving it.

these few days, happened to meet a few people, talked to a few people, and in spite of a busy schedule, some thots running thru my mind.

am grateful to God for this opportunity to serve in this manner. im in awe of how God uses me, and aware that, without Him, all these could not have been possible.

am just absolutely happy that bf is in SOT. he is my motivation to wake up every morning and it’s so amazing i just wake up at 630am every morning to go to SOT. cool. and i love it that every day, we will just share abt how thoughts, what God has been speaking and it has just been awesome. that is one of the reason y i m loving SOT.

God is enlarging my mindset, showing me things, giving me new visions and dreams, giving me opportunities i never dreamed about, and people who believe in me. i am just grateful.

i’m just really love this house, especially the leaders and most of all my senior pastor. He surprises me at times, but i am still in awe of this man of God. His humility, his love of God, his in spite of faith.

Pst Ming shared an awesome word in SOT that blew my mind, and i was so touched.

we all need one such rabbi in our lives.

thank you for placing in me in this awesome spiritual family.

revive it!

my blog is quite dead.

let’s revive it.

it has been a lot of busyness. yes. a lot of pator-ing.

easter is coming.

in less than 2 weeks’ time!!!!

gosh.

before u know it, it will be Asia Conference.

i need my time multiplied.

on the other hand, have been enjoying sot.

been thinking about a few things.. and i desperately need to catch up on friends i know.

other than my cg, i hardly see my friends!!!

hahaha. okk. i m not whining.

have a lot of thoughts on my mind… but i was too lazy to pen them down.

i really should.

ciao for now!

nights. (it’s a rare night that i m online at this time! haha)

did i tell you how much i needed Him?

was pondering about some things this whole week. and the conclusion was that i just desperately needed Him.

need Him to come through for me.

and show His power so real.

and fight for me.

yes fight for me.

and show me how to think, what to think.

i need the wisdom. the grace.

overhaul.

had a great talk with dear yest.

were just reminiscing the days before we got attached.

it was so enjoyable talking about the whole process again.

and of course, the sharing from the heart. :)

i agree, that it is not the work of man.

i dunno why i laid awake at 2 plus am in the night, pondering through this issue.

i dunno why, it weighs so much upon my heart.

i could easily write it off,  or brush it aside.

but i just simply could not.

there is something wrong in this whole thing…

what is worse… is to be wrong but still thinking that u r doing the right thing.

i feel God leading me somewhere, showing me something.

I need Your wisdom. 

i feel disturbed.

because of the lack of respect and reverence.

love what Pst Tan shared tdy.

About acceptance. in spite of the imperfections.

That we choose to love and accept, in spite of the imperfections.

That is the work of the Holy Spirit.

I refuse a critical mindset, doesn’t make it right simply because i don’t understand or i don’t agree.

overwhelming load. coming from everywhere.

plus the tremendous discomfort.

:(

but i m a happy girl.

because of the happiness in my life.

my in spite of joy. :)

getting attached

honestly, it’s only feb 19. and people on my left, right, up and down are getting attached.

2010 is the getting-attached yr. hahaha.

i contemplated but was very reluctant to even embark on anything.

i simply did not want to get into a debate.

lulu was right, that debating doesn’t seek out the truth, it just seeks to find out the winner.

remind me. why did i even try. :(

i hope it is worth the effort.

i heart my bf

i dun intentionally come up here to just rave about it.. but i thought he deserves a post of credits. haha.

yesterday there was no zone meeting, so we left work looking for a place for dinner, and i suddenly recalled that the shoes that i really wanted had a branch in bugis. Dear mentioned that he wanted to buy me a pair of shoes, so we went to check it out.

can i tell you.. i love the wedges there so much!!! (the shop is trois-inch i think) and i fell in love with the pretty pretty wedges!!! so i tried them on and was having a hard time deciding which one, when my dear said, let’s get both of them.

HE BOUGHT ME 2 PAIRS OF WEDGES AT ONE GO.

mind you, the shoes there r not cheap, they r the most expensive wedges i now own, even more expensive than my pedro’s.

I HEART MY BF.

and he is always there for me, and would readily be there when i need him.

baby, thank you for everything.

for your love, generosity, for ur presence always and for being my pillar of support.

it’s an awesome privilege to be ur gf.

so….. LOVE YOU LOTSSSSSSSS.

day 28

today is day 28.

it’s significant. so i must blog it.

we were attached 4 weeks ago.

i feel like, i have finally gotten used to this, and coming to terms with the fact that i’m attached. (in a good way)

it has been so surreal for so long, but coming to one month… yes i m feeling it.

it’s such an unspeakable feeling, to know that u r alone, yet u r not really alone, like ur life is no longer yours.

that was what i was feeling when exercising last night.

and my thoughts on day 27, when holding hands, hugging, saying i love you is no longer a novelty, unlike week 1, what do you live on?

you live on commitment.

i can’t help it, but notice how a love relationship is so similar to our walk with God.

when attending church, worshipping God and being in His presence is no longer a novelty, what do you live on?

you live on commitment.

your commitment to Him and to one another.

sidenote: yesterday i finally got started on THE story. but my bf said he wanted to hear my voice.

so i’m sorry friends. it’s temporarily halted. haha.

be back for more!

it’s worth the wait

received a msg from a fren, telling me how amazed she is by my love story.

i was instantly reminded, what God told me last year, that I have sown and sacrificed for years.

And this is a result, of all the sacrifice and obedience.

I rem that i always tell people this story.

A little girl went to the market one day, and saw a pearl necklace she really liked.

She saved up for it, and on her birthday, her grandma gave her 1 pound, and she was able to buy the necklace.

She loved her necklace so much, and wore it everywhere she went and took good care of it.

One day before she went to bed, her daddy came to her, and asked, do you love me honey?

She said, yes daddy i love you.

Her daddy asked again, would you give me anything i want?

She hesitantly said, yes i think so.

Daddy: Would you give me your pearl necklace?

Girl: Daddy… anything but that pearl necklace.

Daddy: Girl. do you love me?

Girl: Daddy… i do love you.

Daddy: then would you give me your pearl necklace?

With tears in her eyes, she slowly took off her pearl necklace, n placed it in her dad’s hands.

Girl: Yes daddy, because i love you…

With a smile on his face, daddy took out something.

A real pearl necklace.

It always reminds me of my life.

the many things i have laid down… God is putting back in my hands.

multiplied many times and running over.

God.. love you.

the never ending battles

we will arise again.

anchor of our soul

my heart broke.

really.

Heb 6:13-19

13 For when God made a promise to Abraham, because He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself,

14 saying, “Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you.”

15 And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.

16 For men indeed swear by the greater, and an oath for confirmation is for them an end of all dispute.

17 Thus God, determining to show more abundantly to the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, confirmed it by an oath,

18 that by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us.

19 This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil,

20 where the forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.

we cannot lose the hope, that is the anchor of our soul.

a whole new world

some have asked me, how is life like now that you are attached…?

i had a feeling, before i was attached, that getting attached will change my life. and it did. radically did. :)

on day 13, my bf gave me a present for our 2weeks anniversary.

it’s a musical box that plays a whole new world.

and it does sum up my life now.

u do start living your life radically differently…

and nowadays, i started realising people ard me are getting married.

so what does that mean?

i feel like i have grown up.

when my lunches revolve around topics of flats and marriages and bridal gown.

not to mention a good friend who is getting married at the end of this year. (which reminds, i need to lose weight to look good for her wedding. lol. )

isn’t this a whole new world?

the excitements, irony and progress of life.

i’m growing up.

the 24th year is quite a journey already.

promise… updates on THE story soon. hahaha.

homologeo

somehow, this word kept coming back to my mind.

i was reminded of someone. and the importance of homologeo. 

doesn’t mean we throw away logic n reasoning, but sometimes, God is more than reason, isn’t it?

we try to contain God in a box. and think that God can fit into our many theories and arguments and logic.

it seems even silly to say this. or perhaps it seems like i’m committing intellectual suicide, but i choose to believe otherwise.

i choose to believe, that i can homologeo, but i am not being naive or gullible.

i choose to believe, i can have critical thinking, but not be critical in my spirit.

i choose to believe, that faith is reasoned trust.

i want to hear, what God says and not what man says.

i want to think, like how God thinks and not how man thinks.

homologeo.

putting on the mind of Christ.

the John 21 moment

Sunday morning.

P to X: Do you still love me?

X to P: … For a moment dear, i feel like Peter.

after many seconds…

X to P: Dear.. I love you!

X to P: Dear.. I love you!

P to X: You still need to say one more time.

my boyfriend claims that i have a habit, of turning our whole relationship into the scriptures.

:)

比比看，谁比谁多？

*the top one is my bf’s bb. bottom one is mine.

for once, my number of unread emails is XXXX more than his.

for once.

new beginnings

a new beginning. in every area and aspect.

out of maintenance and survival.

to growth, progress and breakthrough.

out of safety and comfort.

to expansion, audacity, wildness and the faith zone.

to leave behind the old, and to usher in the new.

to grow, in EVERY aspect of my life.

to build a life of depth, maturity and consistency.

let’s go, 2010!

are you my match?

X to P: Dear, when you met me, do you feel like you met your match?

P to X: No dear, I still think you are no match for me.

稍纵即逝

昨天接到一个意想不到的电话。

好几个星期前，就已经听闻这消息，但因为我已经离开南大这么久，也没有对这件事多加思索。

美银的一通电话，把我从睡梦中叫醒。i’m so glad she called.

突然发现，世界也只有那么大，人与人的关系也是那么脆弱。

今天读了凯德所写的信，心情起伏不定。

昨天听到了美银所说到，心里震撼不已。

只因为我在想，是否有人能够帮助她？

it served as such a great reminder, that we must not be absorbed with our own life. and that there are so many around us, that are hurting, and have needs that we can meet.

多走一里路。go the extra mile.

officially, blissfully, and happily attached.

promise i will update soon.

on the WHOLE process.

haha.

i try la. :)

8 Jan 2010

sheer bliss. (:

冰天雪地的首尔

it’s snowing in korea!!!

although it is freezing cold, it is very very pretty.

snow everywhere.

awwwwwww.

it’s really romantic to come to seoul in jan. haha.

but nope, im on a spiritual journey.

i m not kidding you. THIS PLACE IS BEAUTIFUL!

i m not coming home. haha.