Wednesday, December 29, 2004

i had such a great time today. haha. beyond words.

i guess tdy i was like awakened once again. like wad said, some of us wish that this yr will not end so that we can enjoy a few more moments of it. haha. this is wad i m feeling. to bask myself in this year. but tdy i was reading a heart ablaze. n it says that true ministry flows out of our revelation of God's character. and it really struck me that my ministry got to flow out of my revelation and relationship with God. being 18 now, i kind of miss that kind of fire and so called craziness i had for God when i was younger. and i wish i was more passionate for Him. yup.

anyway tdy we had great fun. it was so hilarious that i really laughed so hard. thank God for the pple in my life.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

sorrie guys that it is alredi past 12 and christmas is over. xiaoting is in a really heavy mood now. haha. as in feeling really heavy. hee. cos i jus finished watching "so close" and all those who r reading this will laugh at me again cos i cried buckets. again. oh yes again. emotional xiaoting in act. i cant help it. really. i really cried and cried and cried. haha. den after that the stupid korea show also very heavy. n i feel heavier. haha.

full of thots in my brain now. thots plus thots plus thots. thinking abt how fast time has passed, how life has been, with its ups and downs, struggles and triumphs, thinking abt love and abt Him. Jesus Xiaoting loves you. so very much. tdy i was at service. i was jus standing there. n tears began to flow. when i jus thot abt Him. how great He has been to me. my source, my comfort, my shelter, my protection, my love, my lover, my Father, my Mother oh yes my Mother, my King, my Shepherd. thank you for taking me in Your arms. thank you for embracing me. for protecting me. for healing my broken heart. for restoring me. for that security. for making me whole. for loving me. for accepting me. jus as i m.

i simply cant live without You. i mean that. with all of my heart.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

i decided to blog. after so many days. haha.

my heart aches. for a fren whom i no longer can call a fren.

sometimes u will feel really sad, when a fren who was once running with u, by ur side, towards God, towards revival towards the Holy SPirit is now not by ur side anymore. it din occur to me that it will happen. y din anyone tell me that it will? den i will have more preparation for it and will treasure the relationships in my life more. my heart goes out to him.. but it feels like for the first time, he is so far away. he can be standing in front of me but he seems to be a million miles away. boy, it doesnt feel good. and we used to tok abt everything. and now nothing. haha. i lost a fren. and i pray he will be back in the arms of God again.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

it is kind of silly how i enjoyed my book n read it until now. boy. haha. but i thoroughly enjoyed it n seriously i love to read abt lives and love and how pple pick themselbes up and deal with life and its challenges. haha. slping soon for class outing tml. nite.

Monday, December 13, 2004

was jus toking to a fren. these few days thots flood my mind. quite disturbed abt certain things n came back to the pt that hey.. i need to be at the feet of Jesus waiting upon Him and putting my life on the altar. seriously, there r many things i wan for myself yet i noe that they r not godly desires. n we need to learn to crucify our flesh on the cross. u noe i was reading 2 tim and it says.. no one involved in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this world.. and also it says later in the same chapter(paul said to tim).. flee youthful lusts. seriouslyi feel that we all have many trials and tests we need to pass thru.. sometimes i jus feel like God y dun u jus take over the reins of my life and u live my life.. becos sometimes it is sometimes so tiring to control urself.. guard ur heart n mind. n i see the pple ard me.. indeed there r many who r more n more on fire for God.. yet there r also many.. whose fire has been put down. not becos God has not been there.. but becos they chose to walk their own way. i wish that day will not EVER happen to me. i cant bear that to happen.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

my prom pics @
http://xiaotingsprettyprom.mypicgallery.com/

Thursday, December 09, 2004

61 i love you!
i have initially alredi switched off my com n preparing to sleep. but i happen to read thru the booklet we were given tdy and i was reading wad mr chow wrote for us. can i say.. tears filled my eyes even when i was reading it. thank you mr chow.

this is from me to 61.

Dear 61,
remember the endless phy remedials we had? i will not forget how we will "top" the level everytime we look at our block test results. the really special chart. we will always be below the average line n no matter how hard we tried, haha, for some reason, it still happened. but hey, i have faith that we will all make it in the 'a' levels.

remember our chem tutor ms chen? how so much things happen n in the end we sent her off with her ending in tears?

remember our dearest mr xia? who told us abt his twin brother and gave us the xian ku hou tian sweet.

remember mr julian lim? whom we seldom listened to but he was so nice that he taught us juggling!

remember mrs baddiley? haha. i cant forget how life was like in j2 with her and how at every phy prac mr chow will say "mrs baddiley is waiting!"

remember all our lep tutors? wei lao shi whom we always make fun of.. that he will be on a diet tml. wls. kapo who is ever so funny. su lao shi who told us abt the camping trip.. "soh soh where r u?" dr tan whom we all love. and chen lao shi who has left.. i cant forget all the days mugging for shi ci and hong lou. trying to swallow every piece of info and endless memorising. before ever lep exam.. all the cramming. all the jokes we have in class.. esp lep lessons.

remember mr chow? who was the one who told us all abt huang cheng, becos of him, i grew to love this place so much. i remember tears rolling down my eyes when he told us abt the wei lou and n how hard i cried while watching the dvd.. he din mind crapping with us and even teaching us in chinese.. n all the remedials to help us.. geeZ. n mr chow wrote in the book abt the laksa.. remember us in his car? all squeezed up tog and the joke abt FUTH n RUTH! haha. i remembered it was our funniest joke ever..

thank u mr chow for loving us. (haha so mushy) thank u for teaching us beyond the laws of physics into this world.. haha. i will nv forget u say that "maths is a slave for physics". hahaha. thank you for sharing with us for opening up to us for helping us. thank u for ur love for huang cheng and ur passion for teaching. tdy i saw it when u come n see us, that there was bu she de in ur eyes. i could see that u were like looking n thinking.. boy i m not going to teach them anymore. we will always come back n visit u!

remember the ponning sessions and the cs??? boy.. i guess that was so funniest. haha. at kap? being caught by ronnie quek? hahaha. and trying so hard not to laugh when toking to mr teo. haha. i cant take it. and dunno how many cs we got..

remember 30th anniversary, walking thru the haunted hse and scaring the pple... hahahaha.

and all the endless eating sessions.. i cant remember at where. it was so many. haha. and our always enthusiastic response to everything..

61.. i remember our endless "eh, hao xiao leh" "good (thumbs up)" "futh u lah!" and the stupid trend of cold jokes we started.. when we will jus keep on laughing at bu hao xiao de joke. i remember kian wee's got link ez link citi link and dunno wad link? haha. and wei biao's full of crap.. always toking rubbish. until i cant even remember a single of his joke. haha. n he has always been saying i love u to like how many dozen tchers.. haha. n our you qian ren joke.. how we used to endlessly niao terence abt his you nian ness.. n terence will say "call the press" whenever we say sumtin.. haha. yah! and the many zhen de bu zhen de bu zhen de bu.. haha. zhen de bu mei.. zhen de bu hao kan..

and the many k ge sessions we have.. being so crazy.. standing on the sofas and singing our hearts out. wo men shi k ge zhi ban.

now i think of a wei biao joke liao. den he will always ask yitian to slam pple.. haha. and i remember our pe lessons with ms lam.. how enthu we r at frisbee? haha. that last few pe lessons were the best.

i love u 61. u r the best class anyone can have.. for ur energy ur sincerity n everything u have given to xiaoting. u r a part of me. n u contribute to who i m tdy. i will miss every break every tutorial every lecture every exam every assembly with u guys. i will really really miss 61 miss hwa chong miss the times we had tog. 61, u r the best. now n forever.


okie. i m ready to blog abt prom even though it is like 3 am in the morning n i honestly feel like sleeping.

hmm.. first of all, it is really not as exciting as wad every1 will expect. in fact, it can be the mos tirng affair. i was like rushing from home to paragon. which means i had to bathe change pack blow my hair etc etc and den take a cab down to paragon when there is a traffic jam. den i get into the lift with every1 staring at me. frankly speaking i dun really think my dress was that gorgeous anymore. ha.

finally i arrived at hollywood secrets and chat abit n stuff b4 they do my hair. ouch boy it is really painful! my scalp hurts with all the pins poking in it. i din feel it until like 1 am when i m hone sitting down n i m like ouch.. it hurts big time. even when i bathe! okie. den dearest aunty claudine did our makeup. n pluck our eyebrows. she is a big fan of "perfect" eyebrows seriously. she is really really particular abt it. but she is a really nice lady nevertheless. anyway eyebrow plucking hurts okie.. den she put on the makeup. wad thick foundation haha. den we rushed to the stupid hotel 81 and we saw wang tian cai on the way. he is so handsome. n boy, instead of us staring at him, he was staring at us? haha. that is quite funny for a change. hmm yah den we rushed to our room only to find that the room is SO BIG it can only contain a double
bed. nice place seriously.

after that we chiong again to ritz n keep on taking photos. i think every1 is seeing stars from all the flashlights n i dunno how many times i posed! ahhah. for one pic with 4 pple in it, u will have to take it four times. so when we take a class photo, boy oh boy u can imagine wad it is like. okie abt every1's dressing... here is it.

lu jing. her dress was purple n really
sexy at the back. ;) it requires tying so it will kind of reveal the back. woo.. n her makeup was really nice! think she has such nice features seriously. and the shawl is nice too.

helen. tdy she got a different look after the makeup. cant describe it. dunno wad is the word or words to describe it. yup.. but she looked gorgeous too! :)

da bian. she looked cool n
sexy tdy. her skirt was not long like ours but she look really neat n funky. yup. but she kept complaining abt her heels! haha. can see that it really hurt her foot.

kian wee. oh my! he looked so good today! he looked really cool and funky with the
shades on he looked simply fabulous.

tsai. he looked like sherlock holmes. haha. if he wore a shorter coat it wld be better? but he is still suitable for turtleneck though. ;)

denzyl n christy. denzyl wore a turtleneck n it was nice! n bell was wearing a pink dress but i really liked the way she did her hair. putting that dear thing there. haha i dunno wad it is called.

futh. he was dressed like a japanese general. general yoshinoya according to weibiao. ha

weibiao, zhen ming, chenzy. frankly speakin the three of them looked normal. acty these guys looked nice when they make an effort to dress. everybody does lah. haha. but biao's shirt looked big. n our dearest bingrui din turn up due to the fact that he has no clothes to wear. wad a pity.

miao yue. she looked really sweet! n she rebounded her hair.

jia yuan. i think this is the first time i see jia yuan outside and she looks good. ;)

yi tian. i always thot her dressing was exotic and this time it was still exotic. keep it going gal.. n thanx for the card and photo! love ya!


not to forget boon n justin also.. boon dyed his hair! haha. seriously his hair is nice.. haha. i liked it! think gifford did sumtin to his hair to.. and i heard terence say he used up his whole container of conditioner. the Zirh brand? haha. expensive conditioner?

den it was jus endless phototakings n phototakings n phototakings. but there is sumtin though. i found another chc member in hc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. joy to the world. i m so glad. i saw this guy one or two weeks back coming out frm svc 4. den i felt like the holy spirit prompting me tdy to tok to him. i hesitated for so long but i m glad i did. took photo with him and found out he is frm svc 3. praise the Lord!

the prom king n queen were ellery n wensi. not bad lah. haha. yah n that is so much abt it.

but xt do have one regret. that is not being able to go out with my class after the prom. haix.

anyway jus wan to thank john for his digicam. thanx dear.. help me upload the pics k?

yup that is abt it. haha. i m tired. going to sleep. see u guys for prayer meeting tml..





Monday, December 06, 2004

seriously speaking i m getting so upset with some pple now. urgh! shall not mention the whole incident but i simply cant tolerate irresponsible pple. and worse still.. pple who r at fault but dun feel a single tinge of guilt. or repentance. sometimes i really wish God will take them out of my life.

okie.. enough of whining and complaining.. tdy was great! haha. wad a change in mood.. haha. but it was really great lah.. we had a not-too-bad drama practice and had lots of fun. haha. in the ulu MI eng kong garden. congrats to angela for getting into her character! haha. n den i went to meet chan eng to get her shoes. well congrats dear ger for getting ur shoes too.. ;) n dun worry i din take all of that stuff to heart. though.. yah. haha. but tdy really learnt to enlarge my capacity. i was in my super hectic mood again when God was like xiaoting relax.. slow down.. n i got to learn to be responsible but yet not let everything climb over my head. n i thot i had a pretty bad countenance. so glad to hear from ailing n fi that i look okie. pretty lively in fact.. ;) n i enjoyed the meeting so much! thank u sis faith! haha. the presence of God was there n i enjoyed it so much! it is such a pleasure to be back in the laughter n fun of bookstore. toked to sis faith on the way home. something that jus hit me was that God is giving us a vision bigger than ourselves, larger than life. n it is such an awesome pleasure to be living in such times, to play such a role in His kingdom n will. wad a priveilege.

yup that is abt it. though i have a big week ahead of me, well i have a bigger God in front of me. so yeah.. i m living in end times n revival!

Sunday, December 05, 2004

had a great sunday. man! i thoroughly enjoyed myself today. aha. not really cos of the ccf thingy lah. but tdy's services were really good. i lurrvveeed pst's msg so much. it really spoke to me.

if u noe who u r, u will not try to be who u r not. u will also not be afraid to be a servant becos u alredi noe who u r. if u noe ur timing, u will not worry about the things that r not happening. becos u noe that everything is in the hands of our Father Almighty. sometimes we try too hard dun we.. we try to help God. man.. that is like the last thing u can do? haha. u noe wad i learnt so much tdy that i nv learnt b4. n a dozen of couple other things that really illuminated my mind..

den it was the chinese service. boy oh boy.. haha. i enjoyed it so much! zhang mu shi was so hilarious and yet wad he preached was so powerful too.. abt us being a sacrifice on the altar. he is one great preacher n i really enjoyed myself. the presence of God the power of God was there..

jus now went to my aunty's hse. see how good my little nephew has been. he has grown! haha. and become more ting hua.. i m so amazed by my cousin. by being such a good mum. it is amazing how she teaches her little baby and raises him up.. gee. for the 1st time he is so guai to call me xiaoting yi yi. haha. when i go to my cousin's place i will always be wondering how will life be when i get married n have kids. i wish i will be as good as educator as her.. ;)

feelin a little tired. will not type furthur. i borrowed my shoes accesories and bag liao. so dun worry for me. haha.

Friday, December 03, 2004

i thot blogger was having a problem. well here i m after a really hectic week. after my'a's. haha. prom is up n coming! think everybody is pretty excited abt that. gee. but seriously, i m getting a little bored of shopping after so long. it is kinda boring lah realli. not that i shopped a lot.

jus now was jus watching tv after so long. watching the a little silly channel 8 show. well i enjoyed myself. i do sometimes wonder y pple get so hooked onto tv. haha. the devil's box so it was called. but sitting there staring at the ridiculous serials or the things that seriously may happen or may not happen in life is an enjoyment. sometimes i jus feel that pple watch these scenes and acts because life is really not like that in reality. u noe wad i sometimes may wish that i can be like zoe tay in the show? with a sense of "zheng yi gan" and be so straightforward. but the truth in life we really can not be like that becos that is so much to consider. sometimes i wish my life can be simplified. yah like simple. that there is only 1 thing i need n that is all. cos it is really tiring to make choices? to decide wad is really best for ur future. and sometimes it is choosing between the pleasure of this world n the kingdom of God. well but God gave us the freedom to choose. but silly human beings r jus not that wise r we.. i think my fingers n my toes r not enough for me to count the no of silly decisions and choices that i make that land me to where i m today. but well my God is still a good god u noe. becos when i make silly mistakes he still love me anyhow and he even changes His plans for my life becos i screwed up. but well all His plans for me will ultimately lead me to where He wants me to go.

sis my once asked me wad is in my heart. haha. becos out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. honestly xiaoting wad is in ur heart? n all u reading out there wad is in ur heart? issit the passion for Chinese? for music? or issit wondering wad u wan to do n where u wan to go? or really ur heart is empty. well for now this is my answer.

my heart is filled with God. he is my lover my rock my bridegroom my father my shelter my comfort my everything. well without Him how could life ever go on? n without Him wad will i be.. gee. n i wish n pray i will fall in love with Him even more everyday.

last sun dr dennis was here. i was at svc 6 and man was i glad i went. cos he led us in this song

i have fallen in love
have fallen in love with you

i have fallen in love
have fallen in love with you

haha. remember when i toked to yx bout christianity i always use this analogy. of falling in love. well yx it is not a formula and it is about a relationship. n i m glad to be labelled "hardcore", even more glad to be a fool for Christ. so i m.. foolish in the world's eyes.