今天上了一堂很精彩的张爱玲的课。很喜欢倪老师的教书方式，虽然有些人认为在这堂课上，听得一头雾水，我还是非常的享受。是啊，能够听一个好老师讲课，对晓亭来说，确实是种享受。

而今天上课的结果是，我真的对张爱玲好有兴趣。说实在的，有许多我想要接触的东西，我都没有时间去。真想利用这个假期，好好的自我充实一下。呵呵。

说到这里，我不得不感慨，大学的生涯还真的短暂。哈哈。我真的会怀念这段日子。:)

pics for u from yest's nerd party. it's really hilarious. see if u can spot the winners? haha.

前方是绝路，希望在转角。

so he said.

i really feel terrible. usually i m really not like that, but i m really overwhelmed by it all. to tell the truth, i dunno y. i feel battle-weary. yes J said that i m xiaoting, n somehow i will walk thru all these. but i really really feel terrible. i feel so bad i feel like i m exploding on the inside.

it's the burden. it's not anger.

i m only one person.

wad can i do. wad must i do.

i wish i could do sth, to get rid of this awful feeling inside of it.

i really hate it n dread it. no kidding.

someone help me pls?

stand with me i pray.

ohhh. weijian is coming back tml. haha. i decided to come up n blog some random stuff after blogging such cheamology for so long. hurhur.

this year's easter was really good. God has been so good to us. and i'm so convinced that prayer works. what it takes, is to pray, and pray and pray. I'm believing! 10! :)

it has been exciting living for God, seeing the different things He's doing. After this sem ends, it will be another life in Him and i'm anticipating. haha. and becos of reading G's blog, i have caught on the "because He lives" song. haha.

yest, certain things that a fren said really encouraged me. thank God for ppl who r constantly believing in me. i m blessed. :) haha.

jj, samuel and cally getting baptised on sun leh. so cool! haha. i'm excited. :)

很享受和你谈话的过程。

更享受身为朋友，我们总知道朋友在附近，在需要的时候会出现，能依靠。

最近和不同人的接触，让我真的很向往那样的生活。

都和你说了。我真的问他了。但是我没有得到答案。

我也曾想过你想的问题。从这个层面看来，我们真的还很像哦。哈哈。

我在2008年的祷告，is that you will be so real in my life.

其实我原本祈求的，是你的同在。But You gave me more than that.

在长大的过程中，你慢慢让我了解到，甚至是在我的未来，你还是那么的真实。谢谢。

Somebody msged me. Life is worth the living just because He lives.

Yes I know. It really is.

This Easter, I started to realize, how impt it is that Jesus is alive. Thank You for speaking Lord, even today. :) Love You!

很高兴你告诉了我。

这一次的感觉，真的像 dejavu.

不久前（也没有不久啦，好象是几年前），在差不多那样的时间，我和你也在拥有相似的谈话。

讲真的，你可以的啦。哈哈。

这一次，总觉得没有上一次沉重。

感觉是，如果你没有通过那个考验，就会一直重来不是吗？

呵呵。

I’m so flattered that I’m part of the major decision-making process of your life. Wahahaha.

虽然我的人生中，还真的没有什么重要的决定了。

除了结婚生子。

哈哈。

还有那隐藏在心中的梦想。应该只是这样吧。

前者，我一定会先请教你。

毕竟，你比我有经验嘛。哈哈。

后者，我不问，应该就已经会知道你的答案吧。 :)

我很庆幸，我不在场。

因为，我应该不懂得如何露出微笑。

当我做出那个决定时，我就已经知道，是一个结束。

但是一个结束，应该也是另一个开始吧。

今天跑步时，看到一颗星星在闪烁。

想到。。

当你抬头看到星星在闪烁时，请记得，是星星在提醒你，我在想你。

当你抬头看不到星星时，请记得，虽然看不到，我还是在不远处。

今天抬头时，的确又想到你。

我挣扎了很久。对与错。该与不该。我选择的，是放手。

希望一个结束，将会带来一个更美好的开始。

on another note, time seems to pass a bit too slowly nowadays. I can't believe after so long, weijian has not even left for 2 weeks. hahaha. although the thought that he's coming back next thurs feels like it's quite soon.

it's a new phase.n i'm really excited. for the rest of 2008.

posting the pics for u. sending jian yong off on mar 12.



these ppl really nd special care! haha.

can u see wad it says? no sitting. haha. ting is breaking the rules!

see the thing hanging on his shirt? done by us! in case he gets lost. haha.

There's sth wrong with blogger again. So can only post up these pics. will try again another time.

God is soooo good.

really. thank You.

prayers really work, and You answer prayers as i stand in faith.

a phenomenal, breakthrough easter!

You are bringing revival, into E357 and City Harvest!

someone asked. will u love pastor by loving souls as much as he does?

i din even bear to look at the sms. cos my heart broke on the inside.

pastor kong spoke. i heard. every word. speaking into my heart.

and i asked Him.

what does it take Lord? what does it take?

这一直是我心中在问的问题。

我真的渴望。

the greatest gift i can give to you this easter, is what that will make heaven rejoice right?

and what/who m i? if i fail to see the real meaning of easter. that u came, died for us.

I need a breakthrough. 真的。

stand with me, won't u?

Lord i really really need u. REALLY.

i m just simply grateful. really. in the midst of my apprehension, He has been so good. thank You Lord, for calming my nerves, and for showing me, everything is in control and in Your plan.

You are good.

sometimes, i'm just so overwhelmed by how You have blessed me, and how You brought ppl into my life. Yes Lord sometimes it is filled with heartbreaks, but You always take my heart and mend it, and show me, for that one bad thing that happened, so many good things can come out of it. and I'm just so glad that i have learnt to trust in You. and sometimes that little voice says go, and i will, and that voice says, dun, and i won't, and in the midst of all these, everything is just in Your control. and suddenly, i know wad it means, that all things work tog for those who love Him, according to Your purpose.

thank You. I am humbled, grateful, and truly appreciative.

God You see that tiny desire in my heart, and for what i gave up 3 yrs ago, i wish i can reap out of it. it's a dream. really. maybe it will happen, maybe it will not. but it's a desire. but like 3 yrs ago, if u say stay, u noe i will say, yes Lord. 3 yrs ago it was like that, that hasn't changed Lord. Because i still love You more than anything else, more than my ministry, more than my calling, more than my dream and my desire. and my dreams and desires, i lay at Your feet.

show me how to live
teach me in Your way
that i may walk with You all my days.

最近，一些人的举止，真的让我很感动。而我会想，他们真的没有必要这么做，可是你深深的感受到他们的珍惜。

人与人的相处之道，可能是我们生活中最重要的东西吧。

最担心，害怕的，是有一天，我们这么的盲目，只看到自己，却看不到别人。

as i read again, i felt misunderstood.

n it's sad.

it's such a contrast n conflict of feelings these few days really. nah i'm not getting into the emo mode, because i really got too much things to do. so ting n ying, stop laughing at xiaoting can? u all r like.. laughing at me. haha. i know it ok? :)

i feel so tempted to say again. but nvm. God is good. He balanced that "affectedness" by the very very kind gestures of friends. once again, thanks. i'm blogging like at this unearthly timing, n i'm awfully tired. pls prayyy for me. thank you.

seriously, i feel soo awfully blessed. no kidding.

suddenly i felt, it must be all the sowing that i have done, ha.

tdy i was still thinking abt it, and it was only like 15 hrs after we sent u off, n u r already missed! oh man.

and my fren, THANK YOU so much. oh it's so appreciated when i'm really just so tied up with everything. really. and that gesture of kindness touched my heart so much.

recently, i keep receiving acts of kindness from ppl and i genuinely feel so touched can? God is so good.

thank you my friends. u light up my awfully busy life. :)

in just 1 week, i sent 2 soons away. :) one after another. but yet it was 2 very different sending off. weird to say this, but they r 2 brothers that really mean a lot to me, and both of them feel so much like my younger brothers, serious, and that's y i'm the da jie i guess. ha.

they seem so alike in many ways, n yet so different. yes very different indeed.

jy, jus hope u get to read this post though. :)

there is this verse in Heb 13:17 that says, let ur leaders serve you with joy and not sorrow, and i m proud to say, u really allowed me to serve you with joy. the 2 weeks after u r saved, have really brought me so much joy, by simply teaching u the word of God, prayer, reading the Bible, it's just amazing n beautiful. and thank you! (oh man it feels like u r going for 3 yrs already)

and yes definitely u r coming back in a piece, but this is one of the few times i send ppl off feeling so awfully sad, which i think u r too la. :) but it's really an experience in a lifetime, so instead of leaving with regrets, enjoy ur trip to the fullest.

and seeing u tdy, really made me see such a touching side of u, ha, thanx for being so awfully nice.

we really look forward to ur return 28 days later. n counting down!

u r appreciated for making me feel so appreciated.

(honestly, if not for me being in such a high mode tdy, that just covered over every other emotion, i may have ended up like ck. )

you'll be missed!

wanted to blog this yest.

running creates a very funny feeling.

before i run, i dread it. force myself with every ounce of my energy to do it.

during my run, it's painful but enjoyable. the kind of "mind over body" is wad i need to train.

after my run, i yearn it. wished that i had run a bit more, becos the feeling of burning fats is fantastic.

昨天，在回来时，刚好听到范范的“黑白配”，陶醉在其中。抬头一看，在想，怎么又没有星星了？星期五跑步时，也没有看到星星，心里感到纳闷。

怎知，我瞧啊瞧，发现星星都一颗颗的跑了出来。

不久，天空真的充满着星星。

and He spoke to me.

当你被黑夜围绕时，你会以为，星星都不见了。但是，如果仔细地去看，星星藏在黑夜里，认真去找，他们是存在的。

times when u go thru the darkest moments, thinking that His light is not there. think again. the next time u lift up your head and see, u may just see the faintest twinking assuring u, my child, i'm here. :)

my greatest joy is..

to walk down the aisle (not getting married) with you and seeing you give your life to Jesus

to see you growing, loving God and being serious with God

to see you maturing, stepping into your calling in God

to see you living out the word, even when you were not told to

to build a relationship with you, for relationship precedes ministry.

my greatest priveilege..

is to be here when u need me.

is to disciple u when u make mistakes, and u humbly listen to my advice

is to pray with u, and hear your passion in prayers

is to have you serve me, when i m called to serve you

my greatest priveilege..

is to be given a chance to love you, make a difference in your life, like how He has called me to.

i m priveileged, blessed, honored to have a cell group like you.