i dunno why i laid awake at 2 plus am in the night, pondering through this issue.

i dunno why, it weighs so much upon my heart.

i could easily write it off,  or brush it aside.

but i just simply could not.

there is something wrong in this whole thing…

what is worse… is to be wrong but still thinking that u r doing the right thing.

i feel God leading me somewhere, showing me something.

I need Your wisdom. 

i feel disturbed.

because of the lack of respect and reverence.

love what Pst Tan shared tdy.

About acceptance. in spite of the imperfections.

That we choose to love and accept, in spite of the imperfections.

That is the work of the Holy Spirit.

I refuse a critical mindset, doesn’t make it right simply because i don’t understand or i don’t agree.

overwhelming load. coming from everywhere.

plus the tremendous discomfort.

:(

but i m a happy girl.

because of the happiness in my life.

my in spite of joy. :)

getting attached

honestly, it’s only feb 19. and people on my left, right, up and down are getting attached.

2010 is the getting-attached yr. hahaha.

i contemplated but was very reluctant to even embark on anything.

i simply did not want to get into a debate.

lulu was right, that debating doesn’t seek out the truth, it just seeks to find out the winner.

remind me. why did i even try. :(

i hope it is worth the effort.

i heart my bf

i dun intentionally come up here to just rave about it.. but i thought he deserves a post of credits. haha.

yesterday there was no zone meeting, so we left work looking for a place for dinner, and i suddenly recalled that the shoes that i really wanted had a branch in bugis. Dear mentioned that he wanted to buy me a pair of shoes, so we went to check it out.

can i tell you.. i love the wedges there so much!!! (the shop is trois-inch i think) and i fell in love with the pretty pretty wedges!!! so i tried them on and was having a hard time deciding which one, when my dear said, let’s get both of them.

HE BOUGHT ME 2 PAIRS OF WEDGES AT ONE GO.

mind you, the shoes there r not cheap, they r the most expensive wedges i now own, even more expensive than my pedro’s.

I HEART MY BF.

and he is always there for me, and would readily be there when i need him.

baby, thank you for everything.

for your love, generosity, for ur presence always and for being my pillar of support.

it’s an awesome privilege to be ur gf.

so….. LOVE YOU LOTSSSSSSSS.

day 28

today is day 28.

it’s significant. so i must blog it.

we were attached 4 weeks ago.

i feel like, i have finally gotten used to this, and coming to terms with the fact that i’m attached. (in a good way)

it has been so surreal for so long, but coming to one month… yes i m feeling it.

it’s such an unspeakable feeling, to know that u r alone, yet u r not really alone, like ur life is no longer yours.

that was what i was feeling when exercising last night.

and my thoughts on day 27, when holding hands, hugging, saying i love you is no longer a novelty, unlike week 1, what do you live on?

you live on commitment.

i can’t help it, but notice how a love relationship is so similar to our walk with God.

when attending church, worshipping God and being in His presence is no longer a novelty, what do you live on?

you live on commitment.

your commitment to Him and to one another.

sidenote: yesterday i finally got started on THE story. but my bf said he wanted to hear my voice.

so i’m sorry friends. it’s temporarily halted. haha.

be back for more!

it’s worth the wait

received a msg from a fren, telling me how amazed she is by my love story.

i was instantly reminded, what God told me last year, that I have sown and sacrificed for years.

And this is a result, of all the sacrifice and obedience.

I rem that i always tell people this story.

A little girl went to the market one day, and saw a pearl necklace she really liked.

She saved up for it, and on her birthday, her grandma gave her 1 pound, and she was able to buy the necklace.

She loved her necklace so much, and wore it everywhere she went and took good care of it.

One day before she went to bed, her daddy came to her, and asked, do you love me honey?

She said, yes daddy i love you.

Her daddy asked again, would you give me anything i want?

She hesitantly said, yes i think so.

Daddy: Would you give me your pearl necklace?

Girl: Daddy… anything but that pearl necklace.

Daddy: Girl. do you love me?

Girl: Daddy… i do love you.

Daddy: then would you give me your pearl necklace?

With tears in her eyes, she slowly took off her pearl necklace, n placed it in her dad’s hands.

Girl: Yes daddy, because i love you…

With a smile on his face, daddy took out something.

A real pearl necklace.

It always reminds me of my life.

the many things i have laid down… God is putting back in my hands.

multiplied many times and running over.

God.. love you.