it has been an awesome 2 days at GSIF -- global social innovators forum.

mind-blowing, and the passion of the people in the place was so contagious. i m so glad for the opportunity to be there, thank you and YOU!

my takeaways -- it doesn't take much to do something, does it? and it's amazing that people really believe how "little" they do can make this world a better place. wow.

some of the simplest ideas to improve the lives of people. i realised i m so cut out for entrepreneurial stuff.. because i feel totally at ease, networking, attending the forums and i love all the workshops.

going for minor in entre was one of the best things that i did in my uni life, i feel.

and if everyone would just play a part, truly, we would make this world a better place.

do u noe that jet li and all the rest really believed in that?

cool.

a sidenote, guess who i met at the forum??? helen shen la. that's way so cool because we were supposed to meet this week. our much-postponed date. and in the end, we saw each other for 2 days in a row at the forum. that's like way cool la. and i like that i thought. it's cool to see what she's doing at work and what i'm doing in my life. the sad thing is we din take pictures la!!!! and i met her good fren from MA prog too. haha. now we're a little more updated.

just now i was talking to somebody. and he was telling me that he wasn't feeling good. n he din sound esp nice. and i was thinking in my heart, that i wasn't feeling too good either. in GSIF, they kept talking abt partnerships n collaborations. it takes a team to make sth work. it takes a team to make the vision come to pass. i need a team, committed, passionate and enthusiastic. yes although i believe one person can make a difference, i also believe, with u on board, much more things will happen. join me in transforming the world, wun u?

elim chew said.. impossible is also i m possible.

ya i believe that too.

now give me a little courage, a little strength, and a little encouragement, to take that little step, and walk that little mile.

something that i have been thinking abt nowadays. about believing people, and about speaking into our lives.

that was sth i took back from AC, how we can change the world, one at a time.

believing, yes you can, and yes we can.

recently i have been thinking abt a lot of things. a lot on friendships. dr bernard always says, relationships precede ministry. a lot of dilemma, a lot of work. it's funny how a fren stepped in, cos he said he felt friendships r so valuable. and it's appreciated la. i know where he's coming from.

but sometimes i just feel, it's never a one-way thing. and i hate it to be one-way. u know me. and sometimes i wish, i don't have to do that much, and press in as much. toking specifically abt certain things and people. don't think too much.

sometimes i wish, all these could be a lot simpler.

on another note, it's never accidental. close friendships are forged because we chose to, open our hearts and lives to certain people. it's becos we chose to press in, and we chose to let them in. i know it's silly that i was thinking of that, but there's a reason why. i don't like to feel obliged, and it's more than that.

HC443 must be the most discouraging module i have taken. seriously.





i never find it difficult to write papers, study for exams and do well.





but everytime i meet my prof for this module, i feel more disheartened than ever.





and that is why, when i was listening to the various speakers in AC, i feel the need to excel more than ever. but i just received an email, which is not a fantastic comment.





now to quote ting, u tell me how???





exams in 2 days. fyp due i dunno when.





haix lord i nd ur help.





ok i must start confessing positively to my world.





just a clarification. richard soon is not my member. haha. for those who dunno. n this is THE classic photo. lol.

so cool. lol. thank God the reporter din write, 20 yr old richard soon. i will die of OD laughing. to quote dr bernard.

on another note, i met pst kevin loo yest at the airport. aiya shld have taken photo with him! haha. and sending off all the china delegates. love them like crazy. pics will be up soon. (:

i'm so gonna blog this down.

it has been awesome. what God has been doing in our hearts and lives.

today i stood there, n i saw pastor call him out.

mx n i both saw him on camera, and were wondering in our hearts, if pastor would be calling him out. and he did.

when pastor said, i feel the glory of God upon you. i smiled.

and i was thinking in my heart, this guy served the Lord in his ministry faithfully every wk. here is his reward.

without the sacrifice of availing himself to serve, he would never be standing on stage, being a catcher. but that very opportunity gave him an encounter with the Lord.

i dunno how to tell u, but i feel so glad.

there's sth greater upon this guy.

and i felt my heart smiling when Pastor spoke to him, and like wad ken said, i was thinking in my heart, that's my friend!

so to my dearest friend, i'm so proud of u. without the willingness to go the extra mile, u wun be where u r today. and u have a tremendous calling upon your life. God is calling u to Himself, more than the ministry and the serving, God is calling u to Him, a life of intimacy with the Holy Spirit. and i love wad pst phil said, u will minister the Holy Spirit for the rest of ur days. WOW.

it feels like i have been prophesied over instead. lol. but from the bottom of my heart, can i tell u, i feel soooo glad. God is awfully good.

MR RICHARD SOON, I M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!

haha. and i feel really happy for u. (:

a little battle-weary. though it seems like everything is ok, i felt like i fought such a tough battle this week.

just a little tired.

the God I know
righteous and holy
the God i know
faithful and true
the God i know
my tower of refuge
hearts are healed
Christ revealed

the God i know
light of the city
the God i know
strengthens the weak
the God i know
Your heart beats within me
as You are, so are we

the church He knows
righteous and holy
the church He knows
faithful and true
the church He knows
a tower of refuge
hearts are healed
Christ revealed

the church He knows
light of the city
the church He knows
strengthens the weak
the church He knows
is strong and mighty
as He is, so are we

battles after battles. i'm just a little tired, a little weary, a little worn out, and feeling a little alone.
talked to many many ppl this week. encouragement and affirmation.
i felt that i needed it too.

a fren said that my blog seems so emo. sorry but this is a channel to vent my frustration and problems. sometimes i just nd to blog to let it out.

when i heard this song yest, i was abt to weep. it was the cry of my heart, especially for these 2 weeks. carrying that burden.

when he called, i felt that it just din matter anymore. really.

tears flowed, and flowed, and flowed.

let the weak say, i am strong.

on a more positive note, i know it's going to be great next wk. and i noe, battles tell me, that my breakthrough is coming.

GREATER

anyway just a side note, it really brings joy to my heart when i talk to certain ppl, and when people enjoy my company and open up to me. thank God for such ppl in my life. (:

for the first time in such a long while, i went for BS today. partly cos i really wanted to hear jeremy teach, and partly cos he was teaching on the role of the pastor.

the word of God spoke to me tdy. when he was sharing, i was smiling in my heart, cos i really knew what he was talking about. and recently, i m feeling it a bit more, feeling for the people a bit more.

i m getting busier. doing a bit more things, handling a bit more responsibilities. but yet, i still love the people all the same. love talking, discipling and seeing people grow.

and i pray that God will really use me, and us, for something greater.

there's just so much more in store.

i nd to really start mugging! haha. and start doing my research. yes xiaoting work harder. :)

just came back not long ago. after meeting some frens. it's really unusual that i m home so late on sat night.

along the way, met some ppl and friends. and i felt God knocking on my heart. i was reminded y i am doing the things i am doing.

i pray, that i can continue to be used, in a greater way, to see lives changed.

it's wonderful living for you. (:

nights.

after so many days of ploughing through, finally i m done with my 20 page essay. and i realised, it's abt 10000 words!!! so not so bad la.

it's just been a difficult time, to say the least, and now my friends, sch is really, officially over.

no more lectures, tutorials and reports for the many days that follow, except for my fyp of cos, which i need to start next wk.

and i can only say, xiaoting, jia you jia you n jia you. (:

and i would love to go out one of these days. i need a good break! before i start again.

counting down 20 hours to the handing in of report, things don't look so bad after all. lol. it's only missing a night of sleep. n i m looking forward, to handing in that report tml, and take the ride from boon lay to eunos, and eventually lying on my bed. waking up to thinking, that's one report down and a final one to go.

jia you ms chiong.

live up to ur name man.

haha.

on another note, obama really really won. wow.

尽管眼睛快要闭上了，还是好想把这一刻的心情给写下来。

刚看了high school musical 3.

看了后，完全可以了解杨丽玲在说什么。

很cliche的一部电影，但总能勾起许多美好的回忆。

让我想起初高中时期。

电影中有一幕，男主角在考虑自己前面的路该怎么走，唱道，他希望拥有自己的梦，当下突然感觉，这是我的心情写照。

我和许多人提起，却从来未曾在这地方表达我的感受。

再过一个星期，我就非正式的毕业了。

说非正式，是因为正式的毕业典礼在明年7月，但是过了下个星期，我再也不需要回学校上课了。

这样矛盾的心理，让我看了这部电影后，感触更多。

因为还是学生，总可以为自己找千千万万的理由不去长大。SHE的歌完全形容我的心情，我，真的不想长大。

感觉自己好像还是大一，混着日子过，但是转眼间，我已经要毕业了，要为将来的日子打算。

不知道究竟有多少人问过我，晓亭你以后要做什么？

我也从来不记得自己说过这么多个“不知道”。

我还是第一次感到这么茫然。

小六毕业时，我就决定，我要念哪间中学。

中四毕业后，我就决定，我要上哪所高中。

高中毕业时，我连想也没想，就申请了南大中文系，至今仍是个我没有后悔的决定。

虽然在这当中，我希望有许多事情我是可以重新再做的，但我不行，所以最后一次的报告，的大考，我更想做的最好。

在心目中，我一直都是19岁。却在这一刻，我无法不承认，我已经22了，所以必须为将来打算。

说实在的，那的确很恐怖。

那个。。一直都知道自己要做什么的晓亭，也有这样的一天，这对许多人来说，太难理解了。

是的，我，也有茫然的时候。

那就是现在。

但是，我仍然对未来，抱着信心，充满希望，殷切盼望。

替我加油吧。

我也要找到我未来的梦。

This amazing gp of ppl that won 90 dollars ben and jerry's vouchers. haha.

and again!

sending off mx. just to make this look emo. lol. u see wj lol-ing. cos the photographer was pretty funny. and the next funny thing is, somebody asked him to take pic for them, and a little girl asked for his number! ok not that little la. haha. maybe like 16 or sth?

pics that make me smile. 26102008. (:

i am glad that the weekend has come to an end. although i wished that i am in sentosa now, (because i missed it twice in a row!! last yr and this yr!) nevertheless i m glad i have some time to just study n reflect n think.

昨天发生了一些事情，让我感触良多。原本听了一个朋友的话，改变了想法。

但是，我真的对这整件事略有烦感。

不要和晓亭提起这事好吗？我真的不想知道。

希望我不会觉得，这多年的友谊，是不值得的。

it's a lot a lot of thoughts that flood through my mind. i gave it a chance again and again. but i feel so...

on the other hand, while thinking yest, i also asked myself. maybe i haven't been a good friend too. and if that is the case, then () is not to be blamed.

n if i have been such an awful fren, and we r just not "fated" to be frens, then i think, i m willing to ...

用文字，无法表达我的感受。我没有刻意去想，但这件事总在我脑海里反反复复的出现。历史好像又重现了。

but i really did ask myself, if i have been a good fren. and really, maybe i have not. maybe () have always felt that this friendship has been taken for granted. and maybe, we have never been good frens after all.

never mind about such a thing. haha. i m supposed to be busy now, thinking abt sth else. (: like my studies, and my beloved cg.

i m glad that Get Set Get Wet has come to an end, and the people really enjoyed themselves. All thanks to the leaders. i love u guys lots man. n i m proud of u e357! (: you guys r amazing!

this week, give me some time to settle the things that i need to do, and i will be up and going again.

终结孤单

約你你說不來　
來了你又不high
大家開開心心出來玩　
你只埋頭吃飯

如果你的孤單　
只是你的習慣
一直把你自己鎖起來　
實在太不應該

心情好　心情壞　
怎麼開始　怎麼辦
你有的不爽　讓我來分擔

Everything will be alright
Tomorrow will be fine
太陽依然燦爛　
Hey　地球繼續轉
Everything will be alright
Tomorrow will be fine
有我的陪伴　你再也不孤單
(有我的陪伴　一起終結孤單)

衛冕者接受挑戰　難免也會失敗
人生雖然像一場比賽　
還是要保持樂觀
請你把頭抬起來　
幫你把勇氣加滿
有我這樣完美的朋友　
High不High　當然很High

下午看康熙来了。
小钟唱这首歌。
让我有一些些微笑。（：

Xiaoting is contemplating...

how to be a good leader.
how to be a good disciple.
how to be a good student.
how to be a good teacher.
how to be a good friend.
how to be a good daughter.
And..
how to be a good child, of this house.

this is one of those times, that i spent so much effort into something.

one thing is because i m coming to an end of my sch life, but another thing is because i feel that a good prof deserves better.

but it's not that i m not trying.

突然间，我觉得有点沮丧，因为这真的是我花很多心思的一次了。

因为是最后一个报告，也是因为他是一个不错的老师。

it is not that i dun care. i m really trying.

seriously, grades do not matter so much. it's the efforts being recognised really.

it was so liberating!!!!

when finally i knew exactly what to write for my report. I THINK. haha. but the fact that i managed to make some sense out of the whole thing lifts my entire burden.

God is so good. haha.

and our 100 portfolios were sold out today!!! wooooo. lol.

i m still 20,000 words away. haha. but it's ok. one step closer yeah?

(((((((((:

disclaimer: the previous entry is just an emo post.dun read too much into it yeah? haha.

it's funny how this thing affects me so much more than that, but it honestly does.

i know it is silly to think this way, but i cant help but feel like this.

i dislike it, when people claim to be something, and yet they are not.

i dislike it even more, when friendships r not treasured.

i hope no one would ever come and ask me about this thing.

i dunno and i dun ever want to know. i think.

:( why like that.

有些东西，是你的就是你的，不是你的，终究在你手上，也会失去。