for these couple of days, i felt like God was doing a brand new work within me. i dunno how it happened, but i felt sth was different. and it feels amazing.
太远了
似乎走得太远了
thank You Lord for the great things that u have done n r going to do. yesterday today n forever.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
沟通
不是我不想说
是因为你不想听
不是我不想听
是因为你要的不是一个听众
你要的是把自己的想法强加在别人身上
不是我不想沟通
是因为你不想听我说
我也并不想听你说
如果无法站在别人的立场而一味地坚持自己的想法
这不是沟通
不要怪他
我愿听他说
是因为他先愿意听我说
对于对我的一切有兴趣的人 我才愿意把心打开
是因为你不想听
不是我不想听
是因为你要的不是一个听众
你要的是把自己的想法强加在别人身上
不是我不想沟通
是因为你不想听我说
我也并不想听你说
如果无法站在别人的立场而一味地坚持自己的想法
这不是沟通
不要怪他
我愿听他说
是因为他先愿意听我说
对于对我的一切有兴趣的人 我才愿意把心打开
the much awaited photos
these r the much awaited pics with my boss, kevin on the last day of work. (:
acting cute. :P
acting cute. :P
all of them look almost the same! i know! that shows our lack of creativity and experience of front of THE camera. haah.
最近少了言语，多了画面。其实好想利用图画把心情描写出来，但是，应该做不到吧。
脑中现在思考的正是蓝老师昨天说的东西。媒体摆出来的东西，只有靠我们去考证，不停的考证，我们才会越来越靠近真相。
心里不知对老师这样的一个看法是赞成还是反对。但是，突然这么发觉，我们心里好像都有个指南针。有时候指南针好像坏掉了，但是却有时候，它能够准确地告诉我们真实的方向。
这世界是黑暗的，可是你的世界可以是光明的。
人与生俱来就有那种潜能，那种不管发生什么，还是能够勇敢面对的潜能。所以认为你不可以，而要逃避根本就是看不清自己。人有很大的潜能，干尽十恶不赦的事，却也有那个能力，去创造自己想要的生活。
我需要那一点时间与空间，去创造属于晓亭的天地。
奇怪的是，每次一blog，总会在还没“发泄”完后，就想停笔。勉强是没有幸福的。
脑袋突然空白。好像是最近常有的事。真的。现在就是。
有太多的感受，情绪。有太少的文字，言语。
脑中现在思考的正是蓝老师昨天说的东西。媒体摆出来的东西，只有靠我们去考证，不停的考证，我们才会越来越靠近真相。
心里不知对老师这样的一个看法是赞成还是反对。但是，突然这么发觉，我们心里好像都有个指南针。有时候指南针好像坏掉了，但是却有时候，它能够准确地告诉我们真实的方向。
这世界是黑暗的，可是你的世界可以是光明的。
人与生俱来就有那种潜能，那种不管发生什么，还是能够勇敢面对的潜能。所以认为你不可以，而要逃避根本就是看不清自己。人有很大的潜能，干尽十恶不赦的事，却也有那个能力，去创造自己想要的生活。
我需要那一点时间与空间，去创造属于晓亭的天地。
奇怪的是，每次一blog，总会在还没“发泄”完后，就想停笔。勉强是没有幸福的。
脑袋突然空白。好像是最近常有的事。真的。现在就是。
有太多的感受，情绪。有太少的文字，言语。
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
isa 54
1 "Sing, O barren, You who have not borne! Break forth into singing, and cry aloud, You who have not labored with child! For more are the children of the desolate Than the children of the married woman," says the Lord.
2 "Enlarge the place of your tent, And let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings; Do not spare; Lengthen your cords, And strengthen your stakes.
3 For you shall expand to the right and to the left, And your descendants will inherit the nations, And make the desolate cities inhabited.
4 "Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.
5 For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.
2 "Enlarge the place of your tent, And let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings; Do not spare; Lengthen your cords, And strengthen your stakes.
3 For you shall expand to the right and to the left, And your descendants will inherit the nations, And make the desolate cities inhabited.
4 "Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.
5 For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
a dream
有时候我感觉自己活在梦里。但是现实却又是这么的真实。我不要睡醒，不要梦醒。我喜欢道明寺。
living with you is jus like living a dream. sometimes it seems so unreal. so unreal that in this world u put me in, dreams can come true.
everytime i see how u make things happen, i know this is more than a dream. it is a dream come true. u r everything i wish for and more. thank you.
dr bernard said.
order brings freedom.
Jesus wants to restore order into ur life so that u can maximise your potential and be the person he wants u to be.
let there be divine order in my life.
living with you is jus like living a dream. sometimes it seems so unreal. so unreal that in this world u put me in, dreams can come true.
everytime i see how u make things happen, i know this is more than a dream. it is a dream come true. u r everything i wish for and more. thank you.
dr bernard said.
order brings freedom.
Jesus wants to restore order into ur life so that u can maximise your potential and be the person he wants u to be.
let there be divine order in my life.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
there is a need to talk
for some reason, right now within me, there is such a big need to talk to somebody. but also for some reason, whatever i m feeling right now is beyond words.
i told chan eng i have changed. the xiaoting in the past used to be able to talk nonstop kind of thing. that is y lim yang said, to him, i m always noisy n he can nv imagine my voice as sweet. *laughs* i still do that occasionally. rattling on n on. but more than ever before, there is silence in my life. i can't match my feelings to any word in my vocabulary. it's like there is so much within me, n i jus dunno wad to say.
i love talking. especially when i get to communicate quality stuff to people. it thrills me to have "intelluctual conversations" always. conversations with depth. i need to fulfil the need within me to link n connect to pple, with skin on.
i told chan eng i have changed. the xiaoting in the past used to be able to talk nonstop kind of thing. that is y lim yang said, to him, i m always noisy n he can nv imagine my voice as sweet. *laughs* i still do that occasionally. rattling on n on. but more than ever before, there is silence in my life. i can't match my feelings to any word in my vocabulary. it's like there is so much within me, n i jus dunno wad to say.
i love talking. especially when i get to communicate quality stuff to people. it thrills me to have "intelluctual conversations" always. conversations with depth. i need to fulfil the need within me to link n connect to pple, with skin on.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
exhausted
i m amazed by people who can last after studying for long hours, because right now, i m feeling really exhausted. but happy. (: it feels good to study hard, to use ur brains, n to know that i m alive and thinking.
this is wad living for God is all abt. this sem i made a resolution to mug. n i m really sticking to it. yeah man xiao ting. u r doing a great job! jia you jia you.
i wanted to type this yest. one of the greatest people i can ever know is somebody who has great confidence in himself, yet is extremely humble. i wan to be like that. confident yet humble.
show me how to live
teach me how to pray
let all i think and say please you Lord
show me how to live
teach me in your ways
that i may walk with You all my days
i think it is time to change my blog skin. cos it is really quite small. esp after i put in my photos. is there anybody who will volunteer to do it for me? haha.
this is wad living for God is all abt. this sem i made a resolution to mug. n i m really sticking to it. yeah man xiao ting. u r doing a great job! jia you jia you.
i wanted to type this yest. one of the greatest people i can ever know is somebody who has great confidence in himself, yet is extremely humble. i wan to be like that. confident yet humble.
show me how to live
teach me how to pray
let all i think and say please you Lord
show me how to live
teach me in your ways
that i may walk with You all my days
i think it is time to change my blog skin. cos it is really quite small. esp after i put in my photos. is there anybody who will volunteer to do it for me? haha.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
tired of mediocrity
God i m tired of mediocrity. i m tired of jus doing enough to get past. i m tired of jus fulfilling my duty.
God i wan to move on. weijian thanx for that word. u dunno how many pple that spoke to.
ailing i jus got to put this in my blog too. dun mind me "copying" it over.
Excerpts from Accept No Mediocre Life by David Foster:
"Procrastination feeds on the "someday" mentality. ... Someday I'll get serious about making my life count. Someday I'll take my life in God seriously. Someday prayer will become priority, and people will know I'm a force to be reckoned with... Someday I'll step up. Someday I'll be strong. Someday I'll slay those demons. Someday I'll stop saying, "Someday," and start saying, "Today," When you don't want to do something, any excuse will do."
"I remember one of my ethics professor asking, "How do you cook a frog?" Students looked at each other for answers. The teacher said, "To cook a frog alive, you place him in a pot of water at his favourite temperature. Start turning up the heat in small increments. The frog will sit still, adjusting to the rising temperature. Because of his ability to adapt to the hot water, he will be boiled alive before he thinks about jumping out" The application of this story was that we are just like that frog; we will adapt to the climate around us unless we resist. The mass of humanity tends to settle in the middle where mediocrity breeds best. Commitment cools. Vision leaks. Excellence tends to entropy, and energy defuses."
God, let me not be a person who waits for someday.
let today be the day. D-day. The day to run my vision. The day to see my vision come to pass. Let me stop procrastinating. stop waiting. ting jump up n run. NOW.
God i wan to move on. weijian thanx for that word. u dunno how many pple that spoke to.
ailing i jus got to put this in my blog too. dun mind me "copying" it over.
Excerpts from Accept No Mediocre Life by David Foster:
"Procrastination feeds on the "someday" mentality. ... Someday I'll get serious about making my life count. Someday I'll take my life in God seriously. Someday prayer will become priority, and people will know I'm a force to be reckoned with... Someday I'll step up. Someday I'll be strong. Someday I'll slay those demons. Someday I'll stop saying, "Someday," and start saying, "Today," When you don't want to do something, any excuse will do."
"I remember one of my ethics professor asking, "How do you cook a frog?" Students looked at each other for answers. The teacher said, "To cook a frog alive, you place him in a pot of water at his favourite temperature. Start turning up the heat in small increments. The frog will sit still, adjusting to the rising temperature. Because of his ability to adapt to the hot water, he will be boiled alive before he thinks about jumping out" The application of this story was that we are just like that frog; we will adapt to the climate around us unless we resist. The mass of humanity tends to settle in the middle where mediocrity breeds best. Commitment cools. Vision leaks. Excellence tends to entropy, and energy defuses."
God, let me not be a person who waits for someday.
let today be the day. D-day. The day to run my vision. The day to see my vision come to pass. Let me stop procrastinating. stop waiting. ting jump up n run. NOW.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
manulife financial.
let me do this right. i m not supposed to be here now. cos i got 830 lecture tml. n i m supposed to be in bed. but i m so afraid i will lose my inspiration. so here it goes. (this is gonna be a long post. so bear with me if u can)
hi, can i speak to XXX please?
hi XXX! this is xiaoting calling from manulife financial. is it convenient to speak to u at the moment?
it has been like this for the past 2 months and it has become such a part of me. so much so that sometimes when i m home, i will want to press one more 9, and introduce myself as xiao ting from manulife. which is wad i did today to the new fren i called. well done. haaa.
today is my last day of work.i really nv dreamt that i will work in this place, and much more to actually grow so attached to my job and to the pple there. i remembered. ever since i finished my 'a's, i turned down almost every single job that came my way, while my frens worked like mad in that 8 mths. some taught, some did sales, some did admin, i slacked. no la i din. i went overseas. i worked in chec. and this is officially the 2nd job i have. n i m grateful to God for it.
in these 2 mths, i have learnt a lot. brain knowledge. more abt insurance. to come to a greater understanding how it works. and to know it is not a cheating business. and to realise there is SO many insurance agents ard me. but i also learnt. alot of pple skills. alot of knowing how to achieve what u wan. and i think one of the greatest things i saw was how everything i leant n know in church was really applied there. maybe not everything. but a lot of things.
my eyes literally opened to the world i have nv known. probably God is preparing me to be a daniel. n i feel like i have been kinda ignorant. n suddenly there is a need. big need to know more n to see more. i feel like all my life wad i have learnt is so limited and restricted. that i nd to step out into different areas n venture. and know.
to my boss:
kevin, i m really really grateful. u have been a great inspiration to me really.wan u to know tht u r not jus an employer and a boss, but also a mentor of some sort and a tcher in many ways. u taught me many things! n i may not have the same conviction and values as u in many things, but u have still taught me alot. abt insurance, abt business, abt life. it has been great knowing u. as a boss and as a fren.
to God:
thank u dad for allowing me to indulge. to learn. to broaden my knowledge. to satisfy me. i m truly satisfied with this experience. thank u for opening my eyes to see ur world. the good the bad and the ugly. thank u for ur love and ur faithfulness. thank u for creating this world in its beauty and for making man in this way. becos i truly m amazed by ur creation.
i wish i m going back to work tml. wearing my nice heels. putting on nice make up. waiting a long long time for the bus to come. calling some people. trying to persevere. self entertain. look forward to my boss coming back to entertain me. observing the people and appreciating their humour. wondering how these people made it up there. wondering how successful they r. sometimes wondering will i be one of them one day. going downstairs and playing with the machines. trying to get the nicest balls and key chains. looking at the charts and wonder how u can get up there. writing silly notes before i go. making silly mistakes. leaving sometimes satisfied. sometimes down. sometimes on the brink of giving up. sometimes thrilled. sometimes hyper. jus like tdy.
i thot i will be sad. but i left in great spirits. smiling. with a cheerful heart. i hoped i have left sth behind. i dunno. maybe i will be there one day? nth is so absolute isn't it?
but this chapter of my life is officially closed. tml is the first day of my second year.
ting let's run for it!
hi, can i speak to XXX please?
hi XXX! this is xiaoting calling from manulife financial. is it convenient to speak to u at the moment?
it has been like this for the past 2 months and it has become such a part of me. so much so that sometimes when i m home, i will want to press one more 9, and introduce myself as xiao ting from manulife. which is wad i did today to the new fren i called. well done. haaa.
today is my last day of work.i really nv dreamt that i will work in this place, and much more to actually grow so attached to my job and to the pple there. i remembered. ever since i finished my 'a's, i turned down almost every single job that came my way, while my frens worked like mad in that 8 mths. some taught, some did sales, some did admin, i slacked. no la i din. i went overseas. i worked in chec. and this is officially the 2nd job i have. n i m grateful to God for it.
in these 2 mths, i have learnt a lot. brain knowledge. more abt insurance. to come to a greater understanding how it works. and to know it is not a cheating business. and to realise there is SO many insurance agents ard me. but i also learnt. alot of pple skills. alot of knowing how to achieve what u wan. and i think one of the greatest things i saw was how everything i leant n know in church was really applied there. maybe not everything. but a lot of things.
my eyes literally opened to the world i have nv known. probably God is preparing me to be a daniel. n i feel like i have been kinda ignorant. n suddenly there is a need. big need to know more n to see more. i feel like all my life wad i have learnt is so limited and restricted. that i nd to step out into different areas n venture. and know.
to my boss:
kevin, i m really really grateful. u have been a great inspiration to me really.wan u to know tht u r not jus an employer and a boss, but also a mentor of some sort and a tcher in many ways. u taught me many things! n i may not have the same conviction and values as u in many things, but u have still taught me alot. abt insurance, abt business, abt life. it has been great knowing u. as a boss and as a fren.
to God:
thank u dad for allowing me to indulge. to learn. to broaden my knowledge. to satisfy me. i m truly satisfied with this experience. thank u for opening my eyes to see ur world. the good the bad and the ugly. thank u for ur love and ur faithfulness. thank u for creating this world in its beauty and for making man in this way. becos i truly m amazed by ur creation.
i wish i m going back to work tml. wearing my nice heels. putting on nice make up. waiting a long long time for the bus to come. calling some people. trying to persevere. self entertain. look forward to my boss coming back to entertain me. observing the people and appreciating their humour. wondering how these people made it up there. wondering how successful they r. sometimes wondering will i be one of them one day. going downstairs and playing with the machines. trying to get the nicest balls and key chains. looking at the charts and wonder how u can get up there. writing silly notes before i go. making silly mistakes. leaving sometimes satisfied. sometimes down. sometimes on the brink of giving up. sometimes thrilled. sometimes hyper. jus like tdy.
i thot i will be sad. but i left in great spirits. smiling. with a cheerful heart. i hoped i have left sth behind. i dunno. maybe i will be there one day? nth is so absolute isn't it?
but this chapter of my life is officially closed. tml is the first day of my second year.
ting let's run for it!
Monday, August 07, 2006
happy 17th anniversary!
see i told u.. this is a whole few days of emo emo n emo. haah. i m overusing the word. but yest was chc 17th anniversary. happy birthday city harvest!
btw, jus a passing remark. i walked past a dead rat when i came home yesterday.. so gross!
anyway. let's continue bout 17th anniversary. jus wan to say this. that my heart is really filled with thanksgiving that i m in city harvest. this is a place! with no church politics and strife. yah there r differences, there r problems definitely, but this is the place i grew up in n i love. and i pray that this will continue. that there will not be gossip n slander in city harvest. that there will a greater unity in this place.
thank u pastor kong. u have been the best senior pastor any1 can have really. though u will not read this, but i jus wan to say that u have been amazing. leading us these 17 yrs, believing in us, sacrificing for us and u lay down ur lives for us. thank u!
i love u city harvest. love u for being my church and for being my spiritual family. i really will never want to leave this place, ever.
btw, jus a passing remark. i walked past a dead rat when i came home yesterday.. so gross!
anyway. let's continue bout 17th anniversary. jus wan to say this. that my heart is really filled with thanksgiving that i m in city harvest. this is a place! with no church politics and strife. yah there r differences, there r problems definitely, but this is the place i grew up in n i love. and i pray that this will continue. that there will not be gossip n slander in city harvest. that there will a greater unity in this place.
thank u pastor kong. u have been the best senior pastor any1 can have really. though u will not read this, but i jus wan to say that u have been amazing. leading us these 17 yrs, believing in us, sacrificing for us and u lay down ur lives for us. thank u!
i love u city harvest. love u for being my church and for being my spiritual family. i really will never want to leave this place, ever.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
really getting sentimental. tdy met up with some of my classmates, teachers, juniors etc etc at yu shi hui guan. listening to ong tok about lep. ouch. i really m going to miss that place so much. really. i guess i have nv been in a place like lep. where we were all lovers of chinese. n we had such a strong sense of belonging to yu te. i still remembered the times in lep room. when we will sing 红蜻蜓，当你孤单 etc etc.. and we will be super high. and we had all kinds of games n we did all kinds of things. some late nights into playing n planning. the times we crossed the string to count the number of cans n we got it wrong. gee. i m going to miss hwa chong.
this is life, isn't it?
人生往往充满了许多无奈，王老师说，悲喜交集。。 是应该高兴，还是惋惜？
我好爱语特。语特里那股热爱华文的精神是依然存在的。我相信。
我也相信我在华初拥有的老师是最棒的。谢谢你们。u've made a difference in my life.
this is life, isn't it?
人生往往充满了许多无奈，王老师说，悲喜交集。。 是应该高兴，还是惋惜？
我好爱语特。语特里那股热爱华文的精神是依然存在的。我相信。
我也相信我在华初拥有的老师是最棒的。谢谢你们。u've made a difference in my life.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
思念
我看到那小弟弟 失去了爸爸 倒在他怀里痛哭
我哭了
因为我清楚知道 非常了解 他之后会感受到的痛苦
我们都需要一个家 一个温暖的家
其实我一直都好想念 拥有家的感觉
好想念 你
好想念一个像家的地方
家人是不计较的
是无条件去爱的
i really miss u.
我哭了
因为我清楚知道 非常了解 他之后会感受到的痛苦
我们都需要一个家 一个温暖的家
其实我一直都好想念 拥有家的感觉
好想念 你
好想念一个像家的地方
家人是不计较的
是无条件去爱的
i really miss u.
late at night.
at this weird time in the night, i m supposed to be asleep becos i m starting sch next wk. ying asked me if i m excited abt it.
i think i m getting really emo. how?
i promise after blogging i will slp n wake up early to go give bs. but b4 that, allow me to rant.
festival of praise was awesome. it was one of the best i have ever gone to. the atmosphere was fantastic. ccc band did a wonderful job rocking the stadium. don moen is so anointed. i felt so overwhelmed with the love of God.
you have captured my whole heart. mi corazon.
and pst ed silvoso preached an amazing word. yes. i m of the new generation n i will embrace the call. now i noe y gideon n y jerubbaal. it's amazing how God speaks to me.
i m getting really emo. how?
tml we r going yu shi hui guan. i realised i dun really noe how to deal with departures. especially with pple i love and i hold dearly. u noe that is y many times i dun dare to open too much n give too much.. other than my daddy in heaven, there r many things i look n hold at a distance. becos i m afraid of the disappointments and pain that will come with it.
i knew it. when i first stepped into it, i already knew it. he warned me. n if ever i dropped into it, den it's too bad. but i wun. my anchor is in Him.
i still miss working. n i think i gonna miss it for quite a while. if i get to take photos i will post it here. last day next mon. funny y i dun miss sch in ntu huh.. maybe i will next time.
just ranting.
i think i m getting really emo. how?
i promise after blogging i will slp n wake up early to go give bs. but b4 that, allow me to rant.
festival of praise was awesome. it was one of the best i have ever gone to. the atmosphere was fantastic. ccc band did a wonderful job rocking the stadium. don moen is so anointed. i felt so overwhelmed with the love of God.
you have captured my whole heart. mi corazon.
and pst ed silvoso preached an amazing word. yes. i m of the new generation n i will embrace the call. now i noe y gideon n y jerubbaal. it's amazing how God speaks to me.
i m getting really emo. how?
tml we r going yu shi hui guan. i realised i dun really noe how to deal with departures. especially with pple i love and i hold dearly. u noe that is y many times i dun dare to open too much n give too much.. other than my daddy in heaven, there r many things i look n hold at a distance. becos i m afraid of the disappointments and pain that will come with it.
i knew it. when i first stepped into it, i already knew it. he warned me. n if ever i dropped into it, den it's too bad. but i wun. my anchor is in Him.
i still miss working. n i think i gonna miss it for quite a while. if i get to take photos i will post it here. last day next mon. funny y i dun miss sch in ntu huh.. maybe i will next time.
just ranting.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
getting sentimental
it's been a long time since i allowed myself to get sentimental. i guess i m such a person but i dun really allow myself to do that. but! tdy was my 2nd last day of work. and when i left, sitting on the bus to tiong bahru, there i was thinking, i m gonna miss this place.
the last time i really got sentimental was when we left hwa chong. and when helen left. but since then, i almost nv, did not, get myself into sth like this. tdy i indulged, a little.
allow me to indulge for a while. after all i m leaving.
the last time i really got sentimental was when we left hwa chong. and when helen left. but since then, i almost nv, did not, get myself into sth like this. tdy i indulged, a little.
allow me to indulge for a while. after all i m leaving.
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