i dunno why i laid awake at 2 plus am in the night, pondering through this issue.
i dunno why, it weighs so much upon my heart.
i could easily write it off, or brush it aside.
but i just simply could not.
there is something wrong in this whole thing…
what is worse… is to be wrong but still thinking that u r doing the right thing.
i feel God leading me somewhere, showing me something.
I need Your wisdom.
i feel disturbed.
because of the lack of respect and reverence.
love what Pst Tan shared tdy.
About acceptance. in spite of the imperfections.
That we choose to love and accept, in spite of the imperfections.
That is the work of the Holy Spirit.
I refuse a critical mindset, doesn’t make it right simply because i don’t understand or i don’t agree.
honestly, it’s only feb 19. and people on my left, right, up and down are getting attached.
2010 is the getting-attached yr. hahaha.
i dun intentionally come up here to just rave about it.. but i thought he deserves a post of credits. haha.
yesterday there was no zone meeting, so we left work looking for a place for dinner, and i suddenly recalled that the shoes that i really wanted had a branch in bugis. Dear mentioned that he wanted to buy me a pair of shoes, so we went to check it out.
can i tell you.. i love the wedges there so much!!! (the shop is trois-inch i think) and i fell in love with the pretty pretty wedges!!! so i tried them on and was having a hard time deciding which one, when my dear said, let’s get both of them.
HE BOUGHT ME 2 PAIRS OF WEDGES AT ONE GO.
mind you, the shoes there r not cheap, they r the most expensive wedges i now own, even more expensive than my pedro’s.
I HEART MY BF.
and he is always there for me, and would readily be there when i need him.
baby, thank you for everything.
for your love, generosity, for ur presence always and for being my pillar of support.
it’s an awesome privilege to be ur gf.
so….. LOVE YOU LOTSSSSSSSS.
today is day 28.
it’s significant. so i must blog it.
we were attached 4 weeks ago.
i feel like, i have finally gotten used to this, and coming to terms with the fact that i’m attached. (in a good way)
it has been so surreal for so long, but coming to one month… yes i m feeling it.
it’s such an unspeakable feeling, to know that u r alone, yet u r not really alone, like ur life is no longer yours.
that was what i was feeling when exercising last night.
and my thoughts on day 27, when holding hands, hugging, saying i love you is no longer a novelty, unlike week 1, what do you live on?
you live on commitment.
i can’t help it, but notice how a love relationship is so similar to our walk with God.
when attending church, worshipping God and being in His presence is no longer a novelty, what do you live on?
you live on commitment.
your commitment to Him and to one another.
sidenote: yesterday i finally got started on THE story. but my bf said he wanted to hear my voice.
so i’m sorry friends. it’s temporarily halted. haha.
be back for more!
received a msg from a fren, telling me how amazed she is by my love story.
i was instantly reminded, what God told me last year, that I have sown and sacrificed for years.
And this is a result, of all the sacrifice and obedience.
I rem that i always tell people this story.
A little girl went to the market one day, and saw a pearl necklace she really liked.
She saved up for it, and on her birthday, her grandma gave her 1 pound, and she was able to buy the necklace.
She loved her necklace so much, and wore it everywhere she went and took good care of it.
One day before she went to bed, her daddy came to her, and asked, do you love me honey?
She said, yes daddy i love you.
Her daddy asked again, would you give me anything i want?
She hesitantly said, yes i think so.
Daddy: Would you give me your pearl necklace?
Girl: Daddy… anything but that pearl necklace.
Daddy: Girl. do you love me?
Girl: Daddy… i do love you.
Daddy: then would you give me your pearl necklace?
With tears in her eyes, she slowly took off her pearl necklace, n placed it in her dad’s hands.
Girl: Yes daddy, because i love you…
With a smile on his face, daddy took out something.
A real pearl necklace.
It always reminds me of my life.
the many things i have laid down… God is putting back in my hands.
multiplied many times and running over.
God.. love you.
my heart broke.
really.
Heb 6:13-19
13 For when God made a promise to Abraham, because He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself,
14 saying, “Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you.”
15 And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.
16 For men indeed swear by the greater, and an oath for confirmation is for them an end of all dispute.
17 Thus God, determining to show more abundantly to the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, confirmed it by an oath,
18 that by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us.
19 This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil,
20 where the forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.
we cannot lose the hope, that is the anchor of our soul.
some have asked me, how is life like now that you are attached…?
i had a feeling, before i was attached, that getting attached will change my life. and it did. radically did. :)
on day 13, my bf gave me a present for our 2weeks anniversary.
it’s a musical box that plays a whole new world.
and it does sum up my life now.
u do start living your life radically differently…
and nowadays, i started realising people ard me are getting married.
so what does that mean?
i feel like i have grown up.
when my lunches revolve around topics of flats and marriages and bridal gown.
not to mention a good friend who is getting married at the end of this year. (which reminds, i need to lose weight to look good for her wedding. lol. )
isn’t this a whole new world?
the excitements, irony and progress of life.
i’m growing up.
the 24th year is quite a journey already.
promise… updates on THE story soon. hahaha.
somehow, this word kept coming back to my mind.
i was reminded of someone. and the importance of homologeo.
doesn’t mean we throw away logic n reasoning, but sometimes, God is more than reason, isn’t it?
we try to contain God in a box. and think that God can fit into our many theories and arguments and logic.
it seems even silly to say this. or perhaps it seems like i’m committing intellectual suicide, but i choose to believe otherwise.
i choose to believe, that i can homologeo, but i am not being naive or gullible.
i choose to believe, i can have critical thinking, but not be critical in my spirit.
i choose to believe, that faith is reasoned trust.
i want to hear, what God says and not what man says.
i want to think, like how God thinks and not how man thinks.
homologeo.
putting on the mind of Christ.
Sunday morning.
P to X: Do you still love me?
X to P: … For a moment dear, i feel like Peter.
after many seconds…
X to P: Dear.. I love you!
X to P: Dear.. I love you!
P to X: You still need to say one more time.
my boyfriend claims that i have a habit, of turning our whole relationship into the scriptures.
:)
*the top one is my bf’s bb. bottom one is mine.
for once, my number of unread emails is XXXX more than his.
for once.
a new beginning. in every area and aspect.
out of maintenance and survival.
to growth, progress and breakthrough.
out of safety and comfort.
to expansion, audacity, wildness and the faith zone.
to leave behind the old, and to usher in the new.
to grow, in EVERY aspect of my life.
to build a life of depth, maturity and consistency.
let’s go, 2010!
X to P: Dear, when you met me, do you feel like you met your match?
P to X: No dear, I still think you are no match for me.
昨天接到一个意想不到的电话。
好几个星期前，就已经听闻这消息，但因为我已经离开南大这么久，也没有对这件事多加思索。
美银的一通电话，把我从睡梦中叫醒。i’m so glad she called.
突然发现，世界也只有那么大，人与人的关系也是那么脆弱。
今天读了凯德所写的信，心情起伏不定。
昨天听到了美银所说到，心里震撼不已。
只因为我在想，是否有人能够帮助她？
it served as such a great reminder, that we must not be absorbed with our own life. and that there are so many around us, that are hurting, and have needs that we can meet.
多走一里路。go the extra mile.
promise i will update soon.
on the WHOLE process.
haha.
i try la. :)
it’s snowing in korea!!!
although it is freezing cold, it is very very pretty.
snow everywhere.
awwwwwww.
it’s really romantic to come to seoul in jan. haha.
but nope, im on a spiritual journey.
i m not kidding you. THIS PLACE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i m not coming home. haha.
