三十而立

孔子曰：“吾十有五，而志于学。三十而立。四十而不惑。五十而知天命。六十而耳顺。七十而从心所欲，不逾矩。”

虽然年龄只不过是个数字，但我对这个年龄还是有点期待的。之前提到，在这段被迫放慢脚步的时间里，我进行了很多反思——不知是无意或有意。可是，来到30岁这个里程碑，心中除了感恩，还是感恩。

感恩上帝，让我在20年后依然在教会服事。

感恩上帝，让我在10年后依然带领小组。

感恩上帝，结婚生子后依然能紧跟随祂的脚步。

感恩上帝，每一步的带领和引导，除了说谢谢，我还能说什么呢？

这两个月不容易，感觉自己的生命停滞不前，感觉我的世界好像come to a standstill，可是却在这段时间里，我看到了上帝丰盛的恩典。今天牧师讲道的一句话让我很感动，他说 Sometimes God speaks to us through His nature more than direct communication. That is so true...一路来，我不一定听见上帝的声音，但是即使我感觉的是沉默，我依然看见祂如何在我生命动工。生命中的每一步，祂就是那么的信实。

牧师还说了一句话，our confidence doesn't come from the assurance of the outcome, but it comes from the nature of God... His love for us... His calling for us... His plan for us... What a comforting thought. I take confidence and courage in everything in life... because I know He loves me. I was reminded of the season in my life, when I was fearful I will never get attached and married, and God revealed to me this deep deep love He had for me... and He showed me how He has the best in store for me, simply because He loves me... Such is His love...

Signing out on this last day of July - one of my favorite months of the year... with overwhelming gratefulness in my heart.

Jesus, thank You for everything, and in the next 30 years of my life... let me know You and love You more than ever before :)