从来都没有想过文字是我的专长，但是我却羡慕那些能挥洒自如的朋友。刚看了康熙来了。这电视节目是我很欣赏的一个， 我总觉得它没有其他的综艺节目来的肤浅，而我喜欢它带给我的启发。

今天上节目的是伊能静，而今天的节目也给了我很多感触。当我在听着康永念着她的书时，有一种默默的感动。她所使用的文字很美。文人常常会喜欢咬文嚼字，她并不是这样。那一段话捕捉的是一种淡淡的感觉，带有一些神秘色彩，但却让人感到真实，仿佛身临其境。

我好希望有一天我能这样的写出我人生的经历，虽然现在如我所希望，在中文系上课，但是因为生活有时会有些枯燥乏闷，我开始把读华文当作是理所当然，也开始不懂得如何去发掘它的美。理想与现实往往都有个距离，但是相信他的好处是，他能让理想成为现实。

人生是不是一系列的失败，爬起来，学习，成功，再失败，再爬起来，再成功？

人生是很美丽的。

十八岁的天空

我真得很喜欢看这部戏。非常非常喜欢。十八岁的天空。连名字都取得好好好好听。

看了这部戏有种甜滋滋的感觉。看着一个个十八岁的少年，如何走出叛逆的时期，如何为一个目标奋斗，如何学会达成梦想，让我好怀念穿制服的日子，也让我蠢蠢欲动，打起当老师的念头。

我喜欢古越涛！哈哈

我很喜欢这部戏里给人满足的感觉。人生是美好的，值得憧憬的，是给予人无限幻想的。而不管你是谁，都有做梦与去追求梦想的权利。我要过这样的生活。（（（（：

it is so xiaoting...

it is so xiaoting that frm time to time i will start to think n to dream. i cant deny the fact that we live in a fallen world! haah. i always like how sheryl blogged in her blog.. let's see if i will ever manage to write sth so well.

there was once a little ger.... who hated herself, hated the world ard her, and hated everything. she felt sad n most of the time she despised herself.

one day her prince charming came, swept her off her feet and assured that she is everything he is made for. he loved her with all of his heart, n of cos she did too. she loved him so much...

but she realli could not believe that this man loved her. to her, she is so ugly, so not worthy of his love. how can an ugly duckling like her be tog with a man so perfect?

and she decided to run away. from him n frm his love. she could not bear to live in his arms and she felt so inadequate.

thank God this prince charming did not give up on her but loved her to the end. he wooed her... to the ends of the earth. and he made a promise, i will nv nv nv nv let u go. even if u were to run to the ends of the earth, i will be there.

sometimes she feels lost, confused, as if all this is not real, but his appearance assured her that there is really hope on earth. she is not hopeless, she is not destinied for failure, becos of him, everything is going to be so okie. n no matter wad happened, she knew deep in her heart that this man will be there for her.

daddy, a big thank You to u. when hope is gone, You gave me hope. when love is depleted, u put in me the strength to love. teach me how to walk every single day becos u noe that i simply cannot cannot cannot live without You. i dunno how to carry on if You dun show me. i dunno how i can continue walking if u r not there for me.

remind me always that u will write a beautiful story out of my life with a beautiful ending. all is not lost darling.

caring system

was jus thinking bout it. think God has realli been speaking to me thru different means n pple about hearing the Word of God. the rhema Word. issit in bible studies or meetings n in reading the Bible, God has been emphasizing on this alot. about hearing the rhema Word. and isnt it true? that we really need to hear from God so that our lives r not one big boring routine that we keep on doing the same thing expecting different results but we noe that whatever we do is a divine Word from God.

i dun wan! jus to live my life in routine every day. i dun wan! jus to do it for the sake of doing it.

i wan to do wad God speaks to me about.

so let us not live our lives in some routine... doing for the sake of doing. let's step out n step into success, into wad God has called us to.

gambathe!

this is so fun!

hey guys try this! this is so cool i think.. haah.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=s_targazing

还好我不是新加坡人

我从来都并不认为我是一个爱国主义者。。大家也常说新加坡人并不那么爱国，就当台湾人开始辱骂新加坡人时，我们也并不那么在意。

但是，但我看到龙应台所写的文章的标题时，我不禁感到愤愤不平。读了那篇文章后，更是感到生气，总想说，你凭什么批评我们？我心里其实充满着愤怒，但是我并不想写出不理性的看法，但是我还是很生气！

而我又继续的读他谈到台湾的文化，虽然同样是在批评台湾的文化，在语气上却是那么的不一样。

suddenly i jus could not realli express myself in chinese. shall do it in english instead. i used to kind of despise this place that i live in, thinking that we dun realli have our own characteristics and stuff. but u noe wad? over the yrs i have learnt to appreciate this envt i live in. i used to think of singapore as a place of no achievements, but over the yrs i realise that i m wrong! i used to read the papers and see so many singaporeans being high-achievers overseas.. issit behind the scenes doing graphics, sound and things like that.. and also singaporeans making a name for themselves overseas.. i m so proud of them! and i m loving this place that i m living.. and i m also convinced that we do produce talents! we r not a country n a pple who listen to our government and let our government dictate our lives and decide what we shld do! instead! we are pple who have dreams.. and we live it. pple like royston tan, nickson fong, elim chew, and so many so many other pple that have done our country proud! and seriously, pls dun think that singaporeans r jus a bunch of losers who dun really care bout wad u say bout them. we have international achievements, issit as a country or as individuals.. and we deserve the respect becos we have earned it. and for goodness sake, although we r still pretty repressed as a country, our PAP is really much better than many governements in the world and although i dun agree with them on everything, i m glad that i m a singaporen!!!!!

还好我是个新加坡人！

sorry for this blasting over this really really outdated article. it has really been a long time. haha. but i jus expressing my views.

having a great time

these few days i realli felt like i had a great time. God was jus speaking to me bout many many things and it is jus so amazing. really excited in my spirit bout wad God is going to do this yr. (:

stepping into 2006

tdy will probably be one of the last days in which i really played hard. last few days i think i really set out to play. and i did it. but i really enjoyed my last day of my chinese new yr holiday.

i shld jus summarise the things i did these couple of days.

friday i went back to hc. went shoppping. caught the last episode of love concierge.

sat went tm to shop for a while n bought a lovely top. da sao chu (not realli la) and reunion dinner.

sunday went bai nian and at night caught i not stupid too midnight.

monday went out studying and came back studying (acty i din accomplish much) n watched geisha.

n i shld i think comment on geisha. but i m too tired. haha.

tdy went out n went 61 gathering.

and i m so happy i went. we had such a good time jus toking bout the good OLD times. it is really so funny. haah. i laughed so so so hard abt all the silly things that happened. i think i have to stop it if not i will continue to comment.. i miss hc. haah. but it is really amazing cos so much happened in 2 yrs. i really treasure those memories of hc.. times when u really have classmates n good frens n everybody jus bond with everybody. i think it is difficult to do that in uni.

and like wad biao said, we r really different. as in our class is really special. we r like no other. we r so nonsensical and lame, and what's more, our lameness is so out of the world! haah. other than the 61ders, nobody will get n understand our jokes. normal pple wun laugh. realli. haah. i really suggest that we write a song called 我们这一班。

u will realise that everyone of our classmates has sth special. their own 特征. n that is like so interesting cos each one of us is so unique n we r so different but yet we come tog as one. i love it! haha. i love it when we laugh at things that r not really so funny.. i love it when we r lame.. i love it when we come tog n jus tok nonsense.. haha. i love it when we r noisy.. and we r. and according to the guys, the 4 of us r super noisy and always distract them during tutorials!!!! haha. i din realise that until tdy i think. wad a revelation. haha.

and 61 is jus such an interesting class with such interesting characters in it.. wei biao.. wun u write a book abt us and publish it pls?? call it.. 我们这一班。haha. pls pls.. let this inspire u! haha.

i had so much so much fun. thanks guys for such a wonderful time. love all of u. and i love 61 too! haha.

i not stupid too

jus came back frm watching "i not stupid too". i was nv a big fan of jack neo, but after reading some of the movie critics, i decided to give it a try.

n i was pretty impressed n amazed i mus say.

the show had the usual stuff.. humour and all. the usual literary devices.. but what is new is really the theme inside. it had a central theme n i mus say, the film has said all that it wanted to say and shld say.

i guess the best part of the movie is really how closely it relates to our lives and how real it is. and that is jack neo. the films that he has made? he has taken it straight out of our lives. maybe some of us might feel that it is too dramatic.. but i have got to admit, certain scenes there r scenes that i have witnessed myself.

and i cried buckets. i cried so hard that when i came out, my eyes were all red n puffy and i used up the entire packet of tissue and it was not enuff. in case u dunno me, i m a person who is moved by family stories and also how pple overcome obstacles, not so much of the lovey-dovey romances.

although i think that it was a bit too much to put so many of that current issues and stick all of them tog, but i still felt that jack neo did a great job. it was not a superficial film, sth that would cause u to think.. and maybe, even have an effect on ur life. and to me, that is success for a film maker already.

i would recommend all to watch, probably get the vcd and watch it with ur parents. it will be a rewarding time i think.

happy chinese new year.

happy 2006 again! haah.

yest i had a fruitful day, though tiring, going back to hwa chong n also going shopping.

interestingly, the route to hc seemed so long yesterday. i nv could understand y a 40-min ride seemed realli like eternity. but as i sat there, though now different, instead of wearing a brown uniform, i was wearing a skirt n nice shoes, looking nice with makeup on going to sch.

but i treasured every moment of it during the ride n nothing much seemed to have changed. sth changed though. smu is no longer there. ha. but serene centre n coro is so much so much the same. n i savoured every moment of it. stepping into hc, u feel so familiar yet so strange. 即熟悉又陌生的感觉。oh n i forgot to mention, the one thing that really felt strange was passing the sign that said Hwa Chong Institution instead of Hwa Chong Junior College. sorry tat i still cant get over it.

however, somehow this yr felt so much quieter. only the few of us. i kind of miss the 热闹of 61. there were so few of us yest. but! we were still as noisy as ever. haah. when we were in the lep staff room, the room was jus filled with our voices with biao covering his ears trying to stop da bian frm screeching into his ear. jus kidding. haah. and i cant forget the scene that at crystal jade, all of us started toking at the same time. it seemed like we cant get enough of talking and we had to talk. haah. it was realli funny and i guessed we were really noisy.

lep staff room felt different with onli yu n wang lao shi. i missed the familiar faces. and guess wad? the best compliment of the day was wang lao shi's comment b4 i left hc. he said...

i m becoming more n more like an ah lian. can u believe it? my eyes nearly popped out. seriously i felt pretty insulted. haa. but, thank God 我看得开。hee. it is okie la but it was realli kind of a funny comment. me becoming more n more ah lian and he also commented -- becoming more n more of the chionging/ chiongster type. not like our chionging as in clubbing. but more of like happening i shld say.. but seriously.. xiaoting ==> ah lian?? haah.

i guess it shld be a compliment. hee. ah lians r pretty right? haah. and after that we had a fab lunch with chow n teo. crystal jade on chow. aint that sweet? i think helen will die of jealousy. haah. hope u r reading this gal. n chow is as funny as ever but also as intelligent n deep as ever. he is still one of my fav tchers.

and i went shopping. again. yes i can imagine ur face right now. freeze right there! haah. nth much that i bought really, which is a good thing and i came back to catch love concierge. although it is a lame stupid silly romantic comedy, i still enjoy it all the same. haah.

and i guess that is abt it. i m going to slp n also spend some time these couple of days thinking bout my new yr goals. see ya.

missing u.

i m missing u. who? i dunno. haah. recently thoughts filled my mind n i m back to my thinking mode again. if i live in chun qiu, i may probably be one of the philosophers.

tdy was jus mentioning lep to a fren. and i realise love filled my voice even when i toked abt my precious memories. i cant help but say... i love hwa chong! although things r nv going to be the same anymore, and they r not, i still love this sch that made me feel like i belonged.

i nv knew any other sch that made me stand with pride, saying, i m frm hcjc.

i nv knew any other sch that could move me to tears with pride during the announcement when i hear of their achievements.

i nv knew any other sch that gave me such freedom i felt like i was myself.

i nv knew any other sch that posed such challenge that i m determined to outdo myself each time.

i nv knew any other sch that i could call my second, or should i say third home. (2nd is city harvest!)

i nv knew any other sch that evokes such a patriotic spirit in me.

nope. there is really none like it. i love hwa chong junior college. not instituition.

You Are a Warrior Soul

You're a strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating.You don't give up. You're committed and brave.Truly adventuresome, you are not afraid of going to battle.Extremely protective of loved ones, you root for the underdog. You are picky about details and rigorous in your methods.You also value honesty and fairness a great deal.You can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding.You're a hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofsoulareyouquiz/">What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are a Warrior Soul

You're a strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating.You don't give up. You're committed and brave.Truly adventuresome, you are not afraid of going to battle.Extremely protective of loved ones, you root for the underdog. You are picky about details and rigorous in your methods.You also value honesty and fairness a great deal.You can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding.You're a hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofsoulareyouquiz/">What Kind of Soul Are You?

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun.You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

What's" Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

inspired

i just came across a senior's blog. after reading, it jus took me back to what Pst Kong was talking about on Sunday. and somehow, i m inspired to write, and to write beautifully.

i did not always learn to appreciate people who can write beautifully in English, cos in my heart, English somehow seems to be somewhat inferior to my mother tongue. No offence intended. and in my sch uniform days, i always admired those who wrote lovely poems that r so out of the world. in chinese of cos. but somehow, i have also learnt to appreciate this international language for itself. it can be realli beautiful despite it being able to be totally crude too.

Pst once told me, if u can read, u can speak. n that itself builds up ur confidence. it was a revelation to me. and since the end of 2005, writing n thinking have been a shelter, a refuge and i have fallen in love with writing all over again.

i cant help but come back to these thoughts. bout how much humans can achieve. this is sth that i always deeply believed inside of me, that there is so much we can do n achieve that we have not done before.

tdy i saw the bei da pple in ntu. it stirred up sth in me. however, i m jus as determined to make my life in ntu heaven on earth. i have a purpose and i will live it n fulfill it.

word of the day: predilection

sleepless

奇怪的是，我接了一通电话后，无法入眠。我以前很少知道失眠是什么感觉，因为没有多少事物能让我失眠，今夜，我闭上眼睛后，脑袋却不听使唤，以50km/h的速度驾驶，并没有停下来的意思。

而我只好以50words/min的速度，在键盘上打出我的心声。

我常常会看着自己，想想，我是不是做错了，或是什么地方做得不好，我总是对自己的要求很高。难道在对自己要求高的当儿，也不知不觉地对身旁的人有着同样的标准吗？我真的不想只过自己想要的生活，我想要过他要我过的生活，去行他的义。

现实和理想总是有个落差，难怪我们有这套学问叫做expectation management.

突然觉得，许多人认为晓亭常常都很开心，也对，哈哈，我真的是很少愁眉不展，但是欢乐的背后， 不是每个人都能看见的。但是，晓亭还是开心的。因为，我有了这么一个决定，我要过的充实，开心。世上没有打不开的解，也没有解决不了的问题，这是我深信的。在幽谷走着，有一天一定会走出来，看到美丽的太阳，不是吗？

刚才看了一个节目，“青春游走”，被lily goh的热忱感动了。我喜欢这一号人物，不被自己的状况限制，勇敢走出来。她才是我学习的榜样。

新的一年里，我不再沮丧，不再忧伤，因为有他，明天就有希望。

painful experience

plucking ur wisdom tooth is a painful experience.

i remember in 1 Cor.. The bible says that every part of my body play a necessary part. now when i jus extract my wisdom tooth, i realli think it is so. jus removing one tooth has cost me so much pain n inconvenience. it is only thru these little things that u start to treasure the things that u have taken for granted. like brushing ur teeth. eating. drinking. haah. these r now so precious to me. and my stomach is growling. but i cant realli eat. haix.

i jus feel like blogging while i feel like slping at the same time. silly ger.

there r times in my life that i jus feel blissful. this is now how i feel. happy. contented n satisfied.

tdy's service was really good. a powerful msg pst preached bout eternity. i love being in the hse of God.

it is a happy thing that we get to enter a new yr n start life anew. hee. that we can put behind past things n move on n love God.

i still love cs lewis. i m going on to the 4th book of chronicles of narnia.

i love my life love chc love my psts n ldrs and love my cg n love Jesus.

i love serving the Lord.

i love my frens. i love u.

desires of ur heart

In the Bible, God promises that if u delight urself in the LORD, He will give u the desires of ur heart. well i m glad to say that God did that for me.

i realli wanted to have a break.. to let my mind n emotions rest. n i did. had a wonderful time the past few days resting. n God blessed me in a tremendous way.

kinda of prepared to face the new yr. Just need to soak myself more in His presence.

till then.

chronicles of narnia

tdy watched chronicles of narnia! it is such such a cool show. haah. i m in love with it. n i m convinced that c s lewis is an amazing author. (:

tml is the first day of sch! i m kinda excited bout it.

anyway.. this r my goals for the yr.

1. fix my eyes upon Him no matter wad. that i will look to Him n nothing else.

2. study realli realli hard!

3. have greater faith in myself n in God

4. be a great reader!

5. and many many else that i not gg to put here..

i will work hard for God in this coming yr. tat is the power of focus. i will not allow myself to be distracted. xt jia you!