forgot to tok abt the seminar. really enjoyed myself! a long time since i've gone for the seminar n i really enjoyed myself so much. :) u noe i have singing this few lines in my QT.. i will sing i will worship u i will bow myself down humbly at ur throne. den i was always wondering wad song is this n i really liked it. well.. i found myself singing this song tonight. really really loved it..

I WILL SING
I WILL WORSHIP YOU
I WILL BOW MYSELF DOWN HUMBLY AT YOUR THRONE
I WILL GIVE ANYTHING
I WILL GIVE EVERYTHING TO YOU ALONE
I LONG TO BE THE BRIDE THAT YOU'RE RETURNING FOR DRESSED IN GARMENT WHITE AND WRINKLE FREE
I HAVE NO EARTHLY LOVE THAT I AM HOLDING TO FOR YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME

for the first time in so many months, I M FREE. haha. MY 'A' LEVELS R OVER. for all those who r going back to sch in 1 mth's time, DUN ENVY ME. haha.

well.. for days i have been dreaming of this day. i have been lying on my bed thinking about my hair, my prom, and of cos, today (or shld i say yest). i thot i will be filled with so much joy i cant contain. haha. i thot i will jump ard hugging my frens. sorry to disappoint u. it din happen. (not jus u were disappointed, i was too! haha. )

今天特地穿校服到教堂去，想想，这应该是我最后一次穿上校服了吧，所以到了现在还没脱下。原谅我的感叹，其实，这一切感觉有一点不真实。我并没有那种被解放的感觉。哈！

几百天，几万个小时，几千万分钟，几亿秒？就这样，一转眼，我的高中生涯就过了。还记得一年前，我看着学长们埋头苦干，想想自己也会这样，没想到，我已经苦尽甘来了。我再也不会穿上这褐色的校服，虽然多次埋怨它的厚度，它的七秒防火，七秒防水，我还是会想念它。今天考试结束后，已经下起了倾盆大雨，我站在走廊，看着华初，有一点想念。其实真的不了解为什么自己没有一点喜悦的感觉，这是我期待好久的啊！回来看着床上的notes，想想以后不用碰了， 有一点loss，不是 lost。 我不知道几时还会踏进华初，真的有点想念着日子。

华初，谢谢你。61， 谢谢你。谢谢你们给了我两年的美好记忆，这里有欢笑，又悲伤，有兴奋，有友谊。知道吗？我还是喜欢华初。它感觉好像我的第二春。哈！

考试期间，我很痛苦！（爸爸可以作证。）多次想考完后就把一切烧掉丢掉。哈哈！现在却有点舍不得。

不说了。‘A’水准再见。

well. i m down to my last paper. really wanna thank God for being so good today. despite the fact that i slacked ( i m sorry!) for quite a few days, and pia the last minute, God was still good to me. Thank u. feel that i dun deserve this grace lah.. but He has been good to Xiaoting in this exam. yup.. now i m a little more than 18 hours away from the end of 'a' levels. God is good.

i mean it. i can take it aint no longer. approximately 51 hours to the end of my a levels. and to the end of wearing uniforms. obeying sch rules. approximately to the end to my life right now. because a new life is going to start in 51 hours time. now!!

i forgot to say.. hey john.. that dress is from ZARA.

i m shooooo excited! hahaha. guess wad?? I FOUND MY PROM DRESS! haha. it is my cousin's.. i was at her house trying the gowns.. man.. i tried on like so many? n i found it! i found the perfect one. u noe wad? i m really really shooo excited! thinking of slipping on the dress.. n i lurvvveee the material! haha. but it is quite revealing lah.. haha. plunging neckline and the back also quite low.. haha. but it is really GLAM n GORGEOUS! i m going to put my photos so that u all can see k.. haix.how i wish prom is tml!!!!! haha. so excited!

okie.. on a calmer note, it is nice staying over at my cousin's place. i always feel that it is nice to go somewhere besides ur house for a change. a change of envt.. makes u different u noe. like a refreshment kind of thing ya.. yup.. n i m still so excited!

p.s. it is so perfect that it conceals all my flaws.. haha. u cant see the fats n stuff u noe.. ahhhh!

ouch. that hurts darling. hurt big time.

9 more days to the end of 'a' levels. wooh. the thot of it excites me. haha.

things xiaoting wants to do after 'a' levels (irrespective of priority)
1. go cg meeting! haha.
2. fellowship n chill out with members n frens.
3. reach out
4. concert!
5. play play n play
6. read read n read (not notes thank God!) I wan to finish hong lou n all the books i m holding on to.
7. relax n dye my hair
8. shop shop n shop!
9. serve in bookstore! boy.. dun i miss it..

these r for the mths in 2004.. in 2005...

1. volunteer work.
2. relief teach
3. work?
4. missions trip
5. israel
6. china!
7. buck up on my Chinese n English
8. Guitar.. my long lost hobby.
9. read gu dian wen xue.
10. change my image? haha.
11. i want my relationship to God to grow up to the next level..

there r so much to do.. these r only temporary. haha. i will be back.
2.

wow. these 2 days have been phenomenal haven't it? it jus seem like God has really brought us to another level. it has been great! n it will get better n better n better...

something pst ulf said.. dun ever stop being amazed by God.. the things that He is doing. dun ever stop this excitement.. for the salvation of souls n wad God is doing.

yah. dun ever get tired of being amazed. becos He is far too amazing.
dun ever get tired of being excited. becos there is sth new everyday for u to be excited about.
dun ever get used to the point u take it for granted.. that shall be the day it will be taken from u.
but if u remain faithful.. He will bring u from glory to glory strength to strength.

it is a new level. it is done. it is MISSIONS EXPLOSION.

a lot of times i was jus telling God "if only u come true for me". i was preparing for my paper tml n i was telling God the same thing. den God told me. "hey, i will always come true for u. it jus depends us on how much u trust in me."

aint that true? a lot of times we think things lie in God's hands. yah, He is in control. but He gave us a will n a choice too. to trust in Him.

here to blog. but acty i dunno wad to write. this always gets into me when i mug. haha. well today i went to the gym. so sorrie guys for not being there with u all on mon. thank God i werent there.. u all left the place like at 1 plus? haha. but well, working out does feel good.

due to dearest chan eng's influence, i have been so paranoid lately counting CALORIES. haha. for ur info, one bottle of pokka guava has 145 kcal. haha. n peelfresh per serving has 102?? i wanted to drink that u noe. haha. so sick.. den mayo per serving u got like 96 kcal? ying was saying it is very tong ku to live liddat. haha. okie lah.. well, to look gorgeous, u got to sacrifice.

anyway i realy dun have much to say.. pple enjoy ur hols ya? n make it to good use pls. haha. that is all for now. ;)

i want to have a heart of worship.

Jeremiah 9:23-24

Thus says the Lord: "Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, Let not the mighty man glory in his might, Nor let the rich man glory in his riches; But let him who glories glory in this, That he understands and knows Me, That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight," says the Lord.

reached home perhaps like one hour ago. today saw pst kong n sun in the car n they waved to us. pst kong is so nice! haha. becos the car drove past us n he waved to us first. wad frenly pastors i have.. haha.

u noe sumtin? i was watching the video "glam" which pst sun was on. watching it den made me realise y do i really like her so much n respect her.. she is really different. n the host said that she has a great attitude. that is wad i completely agree with. when u have a GREAT attitude.. u r different. yup..

atmosphere.. attitude.. authority.. altitude.

if u want ur life to get greater n greater, ur worship got to get better n better too. wow.

今天看了好多好多电视，其实对大脑一点也不好，让大脑退化的更快。但是，今天我学了一个很重要的道理，坚持。

看了流星花园，夏日香气，金枝玉叶，让我发现到不管做什么都要坚持，因为这世上其实没有什么是长久的。你的爱情，友情，热忱，都需要你的坚持去维持。没有什么事情是理所当然的。

有一天，如果你碰上你喜欢的人，和他结婚生孩子，当初和他那种心跳的感觉是会消失的。你不能靠感觉来维持一段感情。世界的变化很多，今天是的，明天可能成为不是。任何事情都可能发生的。there r no absolutes in this world. 所以，更有许多事情是要依靠我们的信念和坚持的。

我会坚持。

我会坚持和他的感情。即使我看不到，听不到，感觉不到，我还是会坚持的。
He will remain faithful even when we are faithless, because He cannot deny Himself.
就因为他说的这句话。
If you can't see His hands moving, trust His heart.

i m slacking. geez. i slacked the whole of today. naughty naughty gal. jus blog surfing n feeling.. hmmmm...

i really like this song. check it out.

你擦眼泪 习惯借我 的左手
想要靠枕就用我 右手
电视里面 那坏男人 不是我
怎么又拿 我当出气筒
其实你逛街时候 比我 还能走
口头禅却又常常说 背我
你问我是否交到野恋的女友
我发觉你眼神里十分温柔
你总爱贴 在我怀里像只无尾熊
说这辈子你就谁定应该 被我宠
就算我坏得像连续剧里的刘文聪
听了也立志当英雄
你总是说 尤加利只属于无尾熊
不能看别人 只能看你可爱的脸孔
偶尔你 情绪闹得再凶 我也不许动
用我胸膛为你挡风
有人的爱情只有一夜 那么久
很庆幸我们还能手牵手
因为你 我才会有更宽更厚的胸口
能这样一直到老 也不错

yay! finally i can blog!!!! haha. tried for so long n i think there is sumtin wrong with blogspot.

i finished my lep paper! can u like believe it? yesterday i was toking chan eng it seems like a part of me had left me u noe. but acty i still have it. but thinking that i dun have to read 红楼梦，茶馆，冬夜，诗词，so on n forth is like.. hmm.. not joy u noe, but i dunno wad lah. i was like looking at my stuff n the thot that i need not cram down this info anymore, i need not read it anymore, is like.. empty? haha. u mean i no need to stay up till the wee hours again? u mean i will nv get a chance to write thousands of words within 3 hours again? (until my hands get a cramp). wow. acty the feeling is really sad, or shld i say nostalgic. acty i like the phrase john's fren wrote. "how can it be nostagia when it all seems like yesterday?" n it is yesterday. geez.

u noe acty there is somuch joy studying lep. all the spotting n speculating b4 the exam. haha. all the joy or sadness when wad u study came out or not. the pathetically trying to write non-stop during the paper. the conjuring of quotes from wad u crammed last night. the late night sleep. the reciting of hong lou jus b4 the paper. the asking of "u mean u did that"? "i studied that!""cha guan was so diff!" "did li qing zhao husband die?" the appearing of wang lao shi after the paper to tabulate his statistics(super ks, haha.) 有钱就该吃喝嫖赌，haha. 改良改良，越改越良，冰凉！ the 贾宝玉，王熙凤，(wang lao shi's favourite) 袭人，(kapo's favourite) and so on n so forth. all the mugging for yesterday. n it was jus like that. 2 yrs!!!! all for yesterday. n it passed without even waiting for us.

well. it has come to an end. n it was such a precious memory that we had to take a lovegety pic to register that. i will remember that fateful day, nov 5, i took the first bus with a bunch of crazy pple, went to bugis, laughed all the way, sat at a super hot hawker centre, shopped in bugis, acting like crazy kids in the lovegety machine, requesting for a "ctrl alt delete", hurry up, no time redi, all the squeezing like siao, futh where r u??, all in the fateful day. n all of us went home on our separate ways, with our separate thots, perhaps we were all united in thots? thinking abt that which brought us together --- lep.

wish me all the best! it is 445 am in the morning n i only slept a bit more than 2 hours to take my beloved lep paper. i m leaving soon. in one hour's time. this is the last lep paper of my days.. wish me all the best! acty i still got quite a bit haven study yet. hiak. hahaha. after this i m free!

i dunno should i laugh or cry. to say honestly, i think i wrote out of point in my essay. the more i think abt it, the more out of point it seems. xiaoting xiaoting.. haix. so i choose not to think about it okie.. haha.