I REALLY CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO BE OVER.

was just listening to a song and felt like blogging. it has been a long time since last wk that i m going to sleep at this unearthly hour, and this time always makes me feel like blogging.

sorry peeps i m just going to blog some spiritual stuff. realised i have been doing that quite a bit nowadays.

it was a good meeting tdy n i enjoyed fellowshipping with pastor, but i was happy about what God spoke to me abt.

i have been wondering what's the next level like, and somehow He gave me a glimpse of it, and He kept on reminding me the things He has spoken to me. i felt it. the next level.

anyway, i m touching freedom in abt 15hours' time. it sure does not feel good to end exam at 7pm. but i will do well ya? i pray n i mug. hurhur. all the best guys.. and after that, it's really freedom.

i dun have much time to play, but the thought of meeting my frens, toking laughing n fellowshipping makes me happy. although i dun have a lot of time to enjoy, but i hope i will be able to let my hair down.

toking abt hair, hopefully get a new hairstyle too. :)

ciao peeps!

red symbolises my exhilaration.u feel it?

看完了恶作剧。 超棒的！虽然有人觉得 恶作剧2吻没有这么好看，但是，它真的是会让你想追看下去的戏，因为湘琴和直树的感情真的感觉好真挚！在片尾时，他们写道，湘琴和直树的爱情会一直延续下去。。陪伴着我们。。还真的有这种感觉。ok i sound like a total 花痴。

刚看了文茜的世界周报。哇。i like the issues brought up by her. a lot of insights. it was good! :)

k la i m going to get back to studying. honestly i feel bored lor. haix.

i felt last night. that all hell was going to break loose. or has already broken loose. and i dun like it, when i feel like i m right. so irritating.

and tdy, one happened aft another, and i feel a little tired, angry, frustrated.

i noe, i nd strength to fight. and it's another battle, another war.

i just feel a little tired. but it's ok, i will get up again.

like wad pastor said tdy, sometimes, u just have to be on the offensive. ya man.

i thot i did everything i could, din i? but last night he spoke thru a verse. that showed me the way into another world.

i need to find a way, to escape and to destress.

GIRL, fight the good fight of faith!

today i was watching huiying's match. and God impressed me on sth.

He said, it's not abt how u start, it's abt how u end.

although how u start is impt, the more impt thing is, how do u end.

"He who has started a good work within you will complete it"

Then i realise, why He impressed that verse in my heart, to fight the good fight, run the race, keep the faith.

and i purpose in my heart.

I WANT TO END WELL.

i feel a little drained at the end of the night.

was just toking to fang one of the days, and before i knew it, i shared sth that i have hidden inside me for a long time, even w/o me realising it.

i feel, sometimes i just nd frens. nd to have conversations for enjoyment, nd the fellowship to just relax a little. it's good to be serious, but sometimes i nd just a little fun n relaxation.

anyway, here's a big thank you to a fren.

thanx for the company, and the help rendered, for i could not have made it thru HL211 without you. God has been good, and you have been a really faithful friend as well! i enjoyed the company throughout this sem, thank you my fren. u r awesome. gratitude from the bottom of my heart. and yes i promise, i will treat you to a nice meal. haha.

God has been awfully good to me. i feel overwhelmed for all that He has done.

He is just amazing, don't you think so?

studied till 3 plus am yest night. n crazily, i dunno y, i could not get to sleep. i tried, n i ended up praying, and turning n tossing till past 4am.

this morning cecilia called me at 730am.

n i was feeling real tired, till i saw a sms, and it woke me up n i started praying.

burdened.really.

God we do what we can, pls do what we cannot.

if only you would pray.

was feeling just a little overwhelmed. received a sms, then received a call, which made me feel torn.

then I went to Him.

and He came.

swept me in His arms. and u noe everything is ok.

i just want to love Him more. pray more, seek Him more, read the Bible more.

i just want to be "more" of a Christian.

i just want to live "more" of the lifestyle i should be living.

i want to exemplify.

i want to carry the presence. and the anointing.

Prov 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.

thanks my fren. although u always always "question" my decisions, u really always make me think more. and u've changed! in the midst of our busy exams, i m really really glad u called. thanx for the constant reminder(s).

i m blessed to have frens like u guys. ppl who inspire me, challenge me, motivate me. guys, i m appreciative. thanx.

blogging. blogging. and blogging.

xq said i m really a blogger. i will tell u that.. i m really blogging profusely, but it's only becos it's the exam period. i really feel, that after next wk, i may be a rare guest here, or maybe not.

i feel horrid. dun ask me y. it's not the first time i go on such little sleep, but it was just not good though the paper went perfectly ok. i feel so drained. m going to slp in a while's time.

i m supposed to say TGIF! but i'm not really so keen, cos i need to study for mon's paper, within that very cramped time. BUT still. thank God it's friday, cos i m really looking forward to service this weekend.

the house of God, where His presence dwells. is just...

keep me in prayers pls guys! thanx. :)

i noe! i m blogging like there's no tomorrow. well, to show u all that i m really mugging, i must blog at this unearthly hour to testify to it. hurhur. just wanted to say sth funny. i was mugging, and my player was on shuffle mode, n i heard kok wee and jjj's voice, oh man, i had a good laugh. it was such good entertainment in the midst of my mugging. thanx guys, ur voice brightens up my day.

and to my dearest fren, THANK YOUUU!!! for never failing to wake me up n reminding to study. u r AMAZING!! hahaha. n u r like one of the best in giving me wake-up calls can? u r like so effective. so i m really really very appreciative. n u gonna do well so dun worry abt it! haha.

i m researching on 228 at this unearthly hour. hahhaha. but well, it's gonna be day break soon, n i do appreciate the sunrise. :) n it's only at this hour, that i can mug n be on msn at the same time.

byeeee peeps.

my fren posted this song, and i was reminded how i happened to hear it again in my com, and my heart was so warmed by it.

one more moment.

one more post before i hit the books again. m feeling a little exhausted after the many calls, but made connections with just that some ppl, n i m glad. :)

i cannot imagine how life will be like after exams, n i noe, it's time to get up n fight again.

was just toking to yulan, and yes, i was reminded of those thoughts i once had but had put behind for quite a while. u all really can afford to.

in abt 12 hrs, is my next exam. oh man that feels scary. i m really going back again. i feel a little overwhelmed in my heart, but i cannot really put it in words as to how and why i feel this way, so perhaps, just another time.

take care peeps.

just heard some news on channelnewsasia about the false reports of the Western media regarding the issue about Tibet. i felt sad, for some reason. after hearing so much abt the tibet issue, i had my reservations about it. that's y when i saw the facebook group about freeing tibet, i did not react, because i had qualms about what the western media is portraying with regard to this issue.

and it is so closely related to what i have learnt in class. the western media has always been biased against china, claiming that china lacks freedom of speech in media, which i do agree to a certain extent, however, i do not feel that the western media is embracing their values of freedom. the Chinese government has stopped the western correspondents from going into Tibet, and this restriction has directly or indirectly "caused" these untrue reports to arise. i am not criticising the Chinese government, just stating the fact that because western correspondents are unable to get in, it affects how true their reports are. i paid a visit to anti-cnn.com, as usual, i did not dare trust the comments totally, but i do understand that there may be an element of truth in what these people are saying.

just like how the Chinese exercise censorship in the media, the Western media takes on a biased view of things. then how much more democratic, free and liberal are they? i am not taking sides, just expressing my thoughts that sometimes things are simply beyond what we see on the surface. it is wiser my friends, to not take in everything you read and see in the media, and learn to exercise discretion.

and about the Tibet issue, the truth is, unless we get to see for ourselves, we would not know what is the exact situation in there. so talks about boycotting olympics and stuff are really silly, and what is freeing Tibet all about? haha. if somebody needs to be freed, maybe it is first Taiwan? but knowing the Chinese government, you know it's not really going to happen until something big takes place. oh man, this is bad, i am engaging politics on my blog. haha. i do not want to continue anymore, before i touch on even more sensitive issues and topics. :P these are just some comments after watching the short clip on cna.

ciao guys. back to my books.

p.s. i have just woken up so excuse me for the lack of cohesion in my writing.

当我想起我活着的原因
我的心
久久无法平息
我似乎已经忘了
当时投身于此的原因

我是否能再度
回到当初的自己
同样的温度
同样的热情
我的心
是否能再度燃烧
永不停息

我对你的眷恋
一天又一天
静静等待着
那承诺的实现

a lousy attempt, at a not so poetic poem. but i m glad i tried. (:

人因梦想而伟大。

记得在读 i 周刊时，五月天的专访后，记者是这么写的。

是啊，人因梦想而伟大。

今天，我一直看到欧洲。一直看到，一直看到。

看到 belinda 在阿根廷，看到名设计师在 florence.

我突然，爱上这个地方。真的。

喜欢 belinda 在节目中所说的。

我真的相信，人因梦想而伟大。

我为了什么而活？你，又为什么而活呢？

when i came back, i was reminded.

if only you would pray, He once said.

Ya. it has always been prayer, his word, and the spirit.

let's restore the passion.

刚好，听到933播着倔强。突然想到婷所说的，我真的有种莫名的感动。

i spent some of my afternoon looking at facebook, uploading photos n stuff. n i was looking thru helen's pics in italy. oh man it really made me drrrooooollllll! i just simply love europe can???



somebody blogged this, that God reads blogs, n i certainly think so.



so dear God, i have a little wish.



i wish that the one will take me to europe for honeymoon. haha.



i dunno.i really hope it comes to pass. if it doesn't, i pray that i will have a chance to tour europe with him. at least italy, france, n london??? hahha. i *HEART* europe!!!!

i m such a faithful blogger nowadays. haha. i wasted one and a half days doing nothing!!! urgh. m a little upset with myself. ok la. i din like do nothing, just that i was not pdtive in studying. i guess i will have to burn the oil tonight. yes i hope i will stay up, even if it's for just a little while. n i will MUG!!!!

i m just relieved that it's over. :) haha. i felt like if anything, this will be the toughest paper, n yes, to quote my fren, i m just glad to be out alive. hurhur. nah that's a joke.

i was feeling nostalgic today walking alone in ntu premises. after so many weeks, i finally paid a visit to the new library. it's not because i din go to library ok, it's becos i spent most of my time in the "chi-na" library. haha. n oooh, i m so impressed with the new library. i m slow, i know. haha. but it's a really nice place. n i was feeling nostalgic thinking that i m leaving the sch in a year's time. wad a privilege it is to be a student. u noe i was offered the minor in entrepreneurship, and i hesitated to accept it, but eventually i did, becos i rem wad i told joanna a while ago, that one reget i have in my life is to maximising my time in uni, n i figure, that this minor is going to make this uni life worth it. after all, it has to be a fulfilling experience right?

and i feel really loved. suddenly there r ppl who r so concerned for my exams. haha. usually it doesn't happen, becos i m quite relaxed abt exams too, BUT i do study. but this time round i badly want to do well, n to all my frens, thanks for all the smses, prayers and phone calls, they really encourage n motivate me alot. so that's all peeps. i'm gonna take a good break, and start mugging again.

i love sch, love being a student, and sometimes, even love exams. haha.

u noe i m now so conscious of what i write? n i m watching my words, so that every sentence sounds right, structurally and grammatically. hurhur.

a short one before i hit the books again.

i received a call in the middle of the night yest, from a rare guest.

n i was pleasantly surprised when i realised he had no agenda whatsoever, n simply called to remind me to study, "to put things into perspective", so he said.

and i m appreciative for this call that came out of nowhere.

thank you my fren.

n i have, like i was told, studied.

n i promise, i will really try to put in my 110% for these exams.

so back to the books. :) or rather, notes. haha. n let me swim in that sea of ancient Chinese philosophy, n i pray, i will not drown, but get to the other side. hurhur.

我快要抓狂了。读到孟子我就不行了。啊！！！！现在才发现，中国思想史还真是折磨人耶！*叹气*

但是，却对孔子这句话情有独钟。

“岁寒，然后知松柏之后凋也。”

呵呵。你一定在想这句话什么意思，不告诉你。哈哈。改天再来问我吧。:) 哈。

我要回到孟子了。:(

this morning i woke up and while i was bathing, this verse came into my mind.

2 Tim 4:7

"i have fought the good fight, i have finished the race, i have kept the faith."

and yes, in my heart a voice echoed, i want to fight the good fight, i want to finish the race, i want to keep the faith.

Phil 1:6
"... and He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."

i m standing upon it.

and we will triumph victoriously.

just wanted to blog a quick one. exams in 3 days my frens! n yes, as u can see, xiaoting is really not in the mugging mode. haha. nobody even feel that i m having exams. BUT. i m really going to mug hard n do well this time round.

well, i got into the minor in entrepreneurship. i dunno to be happy or sad really. haha. it's really a great programme but i will burn 1 and 1/2 months of my hols in sch. :( but i have already accepted the offer so i guess i m in. haha.

u noe i was writing my essay on thurs night, and realised how my English has "deproved", and according to my fren, there is no such word too! haix. and my fren was laughing at me for how CMI my English has become. yes people, officially i m very sad. i used to have great grammar and i hate making spelling mistakes, but now... haix. it's time to buck up on english again u noe? i m definitely going to spend my hols reading, reading and more reading. promise!

i love every sat cos i love going for cg. sounds cliche, but it's really true. every sat when i walk home, i will always be smiling becos u guys bring soooo much joy into my life. i was telling mingli just that i really love my people to bits; they are the ones who make it all worthwhile. and yes she agreed with me that my members r so fun n funny. haha. love u guys!

felt like i might be a bit mean just now, but it's really all abt trust. n i wish that u can trust me a bit more. haix. i dunno is it unwise of me to tell u, even before i have decided, but i really hope no one, and i mean no one, will come n bug me abt it. i can feel it, that it's not going to be an easy route.

it will really be mugging, mugging n more mugging for the next few weeks. n i pray, for the next few weeks, i can really give it my all and cross my fingers, hoping that i can get the As that i want. and yes ppl, pls correct my English if it sounds terrible. haix. i need to improve! on my English AND Chinese. Gee. till then, ciao!

heyy guys, i finally finished my essay. Honestly, i never thought that at 6,7,8 am, my brain is still effectively working. apparently, it did not fail me. and yes, i m officially finished with my essay. :) and now i m going to sch without sleeping to hand it in and to do some reasearch.

i m sooo proud of myself. haha. for staying up to finish this thing. it's a great sense of achievement.

ms ching, u see it? haha.

look at the time!!!! haha. i feel so proud of myself that i m awake. to quote alice, 给自己一个热烈的掌声！呵呵。

miss ching, this is the greatest testimony to xiaoting staying awake. nope i m not done yet. still got like 1/2 of my essay to go. but i m just so excited i have to blog abt this. hee. :)

ok. i m going to do one last post for now n i m really going to embark on that seemingly insurmountable literature essay. haha. oh God i really nd ur grace. :)

there's just such a smile on my face nowadays really. God has been so good, and His mercy and love has just been pouring. I am just so happy. Really. Even when i was toking to huiying yest on msn, she could sense the joy flowing out of me. i m really happy.

first up, so glad that jian yong is back! :) it feels weird that i have been toking to him on msn when he is in europe, and aft waiting for soooo loooong, he's really back, n to use the word ting used, it's surreal. n yes, the only thing i m sad abt is that i was not at the airport.URGH. haha. i wanted so much to be there! but from their descriptions, i may come back feeling really tired too. so... haha.

acty, i dunno wad else i want to blog. haha. i m so excited for cg this wk, i can sense it's gonna be such a great one. well, till then, it's mugging, mugging n more mugging!

keep me in ur prayers peeps!

and all thanks to my good fren, i m really really staying up to do my essay tonight. FANG u see this? i will come back n blog once i m done. so that i can testify to it. haha. i feel so energetic now. byeee guys. :)

LIFE IS SOOO BEAUTIFUL! :)

i had the loveliest dream last night.

i dreamt that i was in europe, in a little cottage by the sea.

and guess who were with me?

e357. haha. how cool ah.

weirdly, ck appeared in the dream too. hahah.

i fell in love with this song after hearing the little girl sing it on bai fen bai. and i want to dedicate this song to my dear ALICE. haha.

《隐形的翅膀》张韶涵

每一次 都在徘徊孤单中坚强
每一次 就算很受伤 也不闪泪光
我知道 我一直有双隐形的翅膀
带我飞 飞过绝望
不去想 他们拥有美丽的太阳
我看见 每天的夕阳 也会有变化
我知道 我一直有双隐形的翅膀
带我飞 给我希望
我终于 看到 所有梦想都开花
追逐的年轻 歌声多嘹亮
我终于 翱翔
用心凝望不害怕 哪里会有风 就飞多远吧
隐形的翅膀 让梦恒久比天长
留一个 愿望 让自己想象

this song is beautiful. (:

HY, i m really happy. :) let's rem Bob the builder. ha.

GOD IS SOOOOOO GOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so He said. all things work tog for the good of those who love Him!

HALLLEEEEELLLLLUUUUUJJJJAAAAHHHHHH!

will u trust Me again?

the vision for growth.

the breakthru anointing.

we will stand.


many r called, few are chosen.

诗篇23

耶和华是我的牧者，我必不至缺乏。

他使我躺卧在青草地上，领我在可安息的水边。

他使我的灵魂苏醒，为自己的名引导我走义路。

我虽然行过死荫的幽谷，也不怕遭害；因为你与我同在，你的杖，你的竿，都安慰我。

在我敌人面前，你为我摆设筵席；你用油膏了我的头，使我的福杯满溢。

我一生一世必有恩惠慈爱随着我，我且要住在耶和华的殿中，直到永远。

my fave psalm at this time.

i woke up in somewhat of a shock that it's already 3am. and like wad fang say, haix, i always dun manage to stay awake. oh man. i feel upset with myself for slacking. now i need a miracle. i noe everything will be ok, haix, but that doesn't mean i can excuse myself for procrastination n lack of discipline. i m gg back to listen to what pst tan has said the last 2 weeks again.

soo many things on my mind. so many things that happened.

alice was saying that my ppl shld be feeling more troubled n frustrated, i guess so ba, but i m suffering from my share too.

i really hope that everything is gonna be alright.

i pray that everything is gonna be alright.

i had so much on my mind that i acty dreamt of all of u ;ast night. alice, ting, ying, and somewhat weird, but leon.

all things work tog for the good of those who love Him.

i will hang on to that.

it was such an eventful week and weekend that i m just glad it's over. in the last few days, my emotions went thru such highs and lows, but God has been good through it all.

During service today, i start to wonder, why is it that all these r happening? in the midst of me going to have exams, i feel the heat and pressure. not from my studies, but from the devil. and i felt a little sad, a little tired and weary.

but God was good. He showed up powerfully in the CG meeting, n i m more than thankful.

and tdy during service, i felt a boost of faith. at the end of the service, i was praising God with all that i had. becos i rem wad i preached, that praise is the language of faith. and indeed when it ended, i felt faith in my emotional tank. I rem wad pst said, that success puts a demand on ur heart. yes it does, but with God, we will prevail. and i really felt at the end of the service, that everything is going to be ok, and that me, and the cg will be victorious.

and i pray, that at the end of the valley, i will see the light.

and the breakthrough will come.

i m gonna pray, hang on, and press thru.

thanks to all that spared that listening ear. thanks to MY for being there,no matter how late and tired. You r an awesome leader to me. thanks fang yes, for picking up my call 1am in the morning, when i was so depressed. u r appreciated. thanks to G for that msg that really encouraged me, and ur concern. thanks to my members and all who stood by me.

i love the fellowship. the joy that's released in this place. i love u e357, u really light up my life. and thanks to MY leaders, it has been a joy fellowshipping with u!

to cecilia(hope u r reading this), happy 20th! u have a great destiny in u u noe that? like really. enjoy :)

all things work tog for the good of those who love Him.

this is the verse this week. and..

yea though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil. u r with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me. :)

YES!!!

WE WILL BREAKTHROUGH. HURHUR. I BELIEVE IT YEAH? :)

i feel battle-weary. i need Him.

i dun wan to hang on. i want to breakthrough.

i need strength from the Most High.

stand with me.

ok. now i feel ready to tok, or rather write. let's start.

today i was just sitting in the cab, n thinking abt random stuff, n i dunno y, suddenly i feel that God was so good to me. I still cannot honestly rem wad i was thinking abt, but i rem His presence came n warmed me gently. and there again. He was there alright.

after the quiz, went to meet meltoh's boss. i know him, becos i rem him from israel trip, even before i met him. and it's so strange that he acty rems me, and he made a comment, wad a strong impression. hmm. to put it simply, i like him. not becos of anything, but one thing cos of his spirituality. when he spoke abt his life n everything, tears pricked my eyes. i felt God. n i noe, this is one boss i would like to have. more than just abilities, talent, intellect, wad impress me the most is people's love for God and that closeness to Him. he carries God, now that i recall, i feel moved toking to him, really.

i guess i m a step closer to destiny. i will never think that i will tok abt this career as destiny, n to tell the truth, the money factor is such a pull. but actually, i really feel destiny nearing me. no kidding. n from tdy, i felt a step closer. i know exactly where i m heading and what i m heading towards. i noe there r a few barriers to cross, and just maybe, after this, i will be there. at least i feel that He is drawing me there.

that meeting stirred up so much in me, that when i was downstairs, i felt God so near that tears came to my eyes. destiny.

meeting wanquan. given a chance to disciple and to challenge. i m thankful.

celebrating eugene's bday. i honestly felt, he has grown up. i could almost feel tears well up in his eyes, and really, all the sowing has been worth it. n i m just reminded, this is wad loving people is about isn't it? i really love u guys.

and toking to ying. i felt a lot. i know wad phase u r at. and i wish...

u noe over the years, i began to learn more abt being a ldr. and one of the things God has done in me, is a heart for people. and i really learn to love my members. and i wish that i could express it so fully, from the bottom of my heart, i really love every one of u, and i really wish, u will see God's destiny fulfilledin your life.

and it's never too much to say it again, it is a privilege.

it was an oh-so-emo day i felt. first of all meeting up with meltoh's boss who shared stuff that almost made me tear. i was really holding the tears back.

then meeting wanquan, celebrated bday for eugene. and toking to ying.

each was an experience on its own, that really stirred me up thinking so hard.

God was there, every step of the way. I felt He was so near me tdy. I felt like i had a brush with destiny. I felt like i was so close.

and I am just appreciative.

He really spoke today, really. like really. from this morning till now. and He still is.

i will just hang on there for a little, i know it is sooo close. i know.

just want u to know, i love every single one of you. frens n members, u r great ppl God has placed in my hearts. really. THANK YOU.