when i saw ur sms, i could not stop crying. thank u for ur love n concern.

thank you for letting me noe, that it matters. thank you.

i think it is amazing. that for the sake of understanding wad u r writing, i m acty navigating dictionary.com on the other side.

perhaps u r one of the very few who can make me do this.

but i still enjoy reading ur blog. :)

when i saw, i was reminded of how i felt always when i saw on the streets. that love n compassion for these ppl once again arose. God i did remember.

it seems like a faraway dream, but somehow i always wished, that these ppl would be touched.

and i thot, He gave me the desires of my heart.

the communication is not easy, the gap is big, but love can overcome all things.

i pray, You will use us, to make a difference.

lives waiting to be touched out there.

on another notes, jus want to say thank u to my cg members. u guys did an awesome job yest with the bbq. thanks for ur generous service n love towards others.

xiaoting is thankful. for great members like u guys, and for what He is doing.

it's Your kingdom, it's your glory.

unless the Lord build His hse, he who labours labours in vain.

so Lord, build Your hse.

just received a mail from my lecturer. i was sooooo encouraged. i did not find all the literary theories very simple, but i knew i really tried. and i enjoy thinking and reflecting and understanding the theories. my new fave is foucault. wahahaha. i think i m gonna read up more on him. he sounds so interesting. huhur. anyway, i really want to make use of the remaining time in uni. i wanna grow n expand. so gambathe!

i just realised. that in 7 days' time, i m finishing my exams. which also means it's the end of my year 3 sem 1. suddenly, i feel pretty nervous. not because of exams, but because this sem is ending. i kind of dun wan it to, because i have not given myself the chance to put in 100%, and i dun wan to leave uni regretting that i did not give my best.

i only have 10 modules left to fight for.

xiaoting..

in any case, i was mentally n emotionally prepared. BUT. my heart still sank when i saw the sms.

please help me.

i nd the grace n wisdom.

i m jus glad it's all over. and i dunno y, it feels loooong. can't wait for next thurs. but before the 29, i promise i will work hard. really.

does mugging make u tired? cos i m jus simply exhausted. aft a whole day of churning out reports.

i really just want to get it over and done with. really.

想好好的写一些东西。其实，很不喜欢的一件事，就是自己一直在做某件事情，却没有时间去思考自己的人生，这一点，或许跟某人很像吧。

最近很不喜欢思考，因为很讨厌自己在思考的当儿，带来的烦恼。要想的事情太多，越想会越烦，但是这样会导致我开始出现迟钝的状况。没有啦，是开玩笑的，但是如果在停止思考字的生活，应该真的会变笨吧。

talking to terence yest, and he said he totally agreed that i have become less D over the yrs and more I. I probably like myself more for the fact that I have become less D, becos i used to be really demanding and everything. But i really dun like myself for being more I. I can stand ppl being noisy but I can't stand myself being noisy. Wad an irony huh. U must be thinking.. xiaoting r u sure? becos i talk so much all the time. ya but sometimes i jus wish i really can talk less. hur.

I like myself with more 人情味, but i dislike the fact that i think i have become less disciplined over the years and giving myself more room for errors and mistakes. I dun like the fact that I have become less a thinker and more an enjoyer.

I think.. i need to do something more productive with my life.

The last semester, i pushed myself to the max, becos i jus wanted to stretch myself.

But this sem, after SOT, i thot i totally lost my momentum. I hoped i have not lost my cutting edge,

though more I, i want to retain my D-ness still. really. I can't stand low productivity and the wasting of one's life. I love people. but I want to do something more with my life. REALLY.

so i hope and pray I will get down to sth soon. that after this exams, i will make full use of my life. this has been a sem of rest n fun n what's not, and i think, it's time to get down to WORK.

pst once said, we all live to work u noe, and i need to get myself down to doing it.

XIAOTING. quit moping ard ur life.

我爱上这首歌。

总觉得“崇拜”好有意境。

歌词简单 漂亮

我存在你的存在

崇拜：

作词：陈没 作曲：彭学斌 编曲：陈建骐

你的姿态
你的青睐
我存在在你的存在
你以为爱就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜
我活了 我爱了
我都不管了
心爱到疯了恨到酸了就好了
可能的 可以的 真的可惜了
幸福好不容易的怎么你却不敢了呢
我还以为我们能 不同于与别人
我还以为不可能的
不会不可能

你的姿态
你的青睐
我存在在你的存在
你以为爱就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜
风筝有风
海豚有海
我存在在我的存在
所以明白
所以离开
所以不再为爱而爱
自己存在 在你之外

这次的感觉好不一样。

我已经学习如何坦然地去面对。

对自己的成长，我觉得好神奇啊。

不知不觉中，我已经长大了。

和一年前的自己，感觉是多么的不一样。

不是心如止水，是懂得去面对的。

他是信实的。

我还是需要智慧。

但是，这次，少了担心，焦虑和害怕。多了一份信心。

谢谢你。真的。

还有谢谢一位特别的先生。我好喜欢他给的advice.

encouraging n practical.

all things work tog for the good of those who love Him.

u believe it? i do. :)

off to my first exam.

keep me in ur prayers k?

i m quite glad it's starting. n will be over in no time.

突然对布拉格这个地方好有憧憬。其实，全世界当中，我最向往的一个地方是欧洲。

希望。。 有一天我可到那里backpacking。好幸福啊！

也希望我可以到欧洲度蜜月。:P (我知道，这样老公要很有钱哦！)

my heart melted when i saw the pics. u r in for a treat.

these r pictures of Prague, the capital city of Czech Republic.

I will be there one day. I can't wait!

o昨晚坐在克毅的车上，谈起以前的事。最近的我们很少说话，但是如果要聊起以前，他是更适合不过的人选了。跟他说话时，总会想起从前。并不是因为他很老，但只是因为我们俩经过了这么多，现在仍是朋友。虽然性格上差这么多，我们还是很了解彼此的。享受这样的谈话。a walk down memory lane.

a Song for u, my friend.

Vitamin C Graduation Song

And so we talked all night
About the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year
We won't be coming back
No more hanging out
Cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now
Cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing
Like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you
And then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

Chorus:
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
A nd as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever
So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now,
Will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything
We learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job
That won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

Repeat chorus
La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow
Like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

we r gonna walk thru this.

i wun say it's a tribulation. but i noe it's a frustration. n i noe, it's the devil.

n so this time round, i m going to be so focused.

i m going to be in Christ and in peace.

and i know, i will overcome my exams, overcome the obstacles.

becos..

all things work tog for the good of those who love Him.

and so..

all things r gonna work tog for me..

and for my cg E357.

it's gonna happen.

let hearts be revealed.

i wonder wad i need to do. i have been thinking. n i CANNOT afford to get distracted. but it seems, like 101 things that are coming in the way.

Ps 78:70-72

"He also chose David His servant, and took him from the sheepfolds; from following the ewes that had young He brought him, to shepherd Jacob His people and Israel His inheritance. So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart and guided them by the skilfulness of his hands. "


the desires of my heart.

it's such an awesome day for sleeping. i love the weather. recently i have become like a 宅女。i like staying at home really. :)

this is for you.

“说出来会被嘲笑的梦想，才有实践的价值。即使跌倒了，姿势也会很豪迈。” -九把刀

i have been thinking quite a bit. thoughts running thru my mind. anw i m really getting down to studying. wish me all the best.

i did it. i sat in front on my com from 530am till now leh. and finished my assignment. gosh i m soooo tired. but i m leaving hse in an hr. :) 3 cheers to xiaoting!

and one last assignment to go.

okkk. it's my turn to blog about night cycling. :)

if u realise, it's actually 730am in the morning. yes i woke up at 530 this morning to do my work. and i slept at 2 mind you. but this is all for procrastinating la. it's not becos xiaoting is hardworking.

anyway, abt night cycling.

unknown to many, i always wanted to go night cycling. yes although i m not that good at cycling. (and that is y i always have to cycle at ecp. so sad. cos i dun dare to cycle from m hse to ecp. i think i will be knocked down by a car or sth) and really, it was not so ez cycling on the main roads! i was trying so hard to manoeveur and at the same time trying to assure myself not to be scared. waahaha.

so really, i was quite happy cycling from ecp to changi village. it's so much easier to cycle cannn.

anw, if u wanna noe the details, jus read ying's blog la. i m lazy to re-narrate everything she said.

but main point is, we had a SLOOOWW time cycling from ecp to joo chiat becos terence said we shld go whampoa. i m quite glad we din though. i dunno how i would have survived the night.

and u can imagine how pissed weijian is when we stopped for bak kut teh after cycling for.. 15mins? haha. and he was so stunned until he refused to eat. (till i force him to of cos). haha. anw, it's xiaoting great idea for night cycling la. so i m responsible. and i m quite convinced, that next time nobody, at least not the guys will go night cycling with me again.

well the main trip goes, we cycled all the way to changi village, n it was a loooong ardous journey. the road that knows no end. but i really enjoyed myself on the way there. :) it's so nice cycling at that hour.

we ended up at changi village. it's ulu really. and while cycling back, i fell! crashed into a pillar ok? and it's the first time i fell becos of cycling. shooo sad. and the saddest thing is i sprained my last finger. n mind u, it's really the first time. it kinda hurts yest morning, and swelled like mad. but it's quite ok now la. and amazing ken said it's blue black. i woke up this morning.. and yes it's really blue black. i wanted to show u guys a pic of the blue-blackness but my cam on low batt and i m lazy! haha. n now i realise how impt ur pinkie is to u. it's super inconvenient. i can't even brush my teeth properly la.

and so after falling down, i really felt very sian plus the road is so difficult to cycle on! haix. n it rained. n after terence's non-stop persuading, we cabbed back. haha.

now...

apologies to weijian. :P sorry man. i think he must have been so heart-broken. cos he had such a great dream about us cycling all night, but yet we were so slow and we stop for bak kut teh! and we complained and whined... that we had to cycle so far and the poor boy had to bear with us. not that he has a choice la. one side is forest, the other side is runway. haaha. and appreciation for bringing us so far.

and to weijian n mx. we r so proud of u guys! the four of us r so ko ya.. coming back in a cab. but they braved the rain leh! n cycled back from tamp to ecp in like 45 mins. *we r proud of u say we r proud of u!* and i think it's a great thing that we din cycle back. we would have suffered like mad. they r our heroes for that day. :)

n so that is abt it.. i m still suffering after effects of my fall. but after such an eventful night, i came back, and BATHED, (this is very impt) and slept until 6pm.

i really did enjoy myself. n like wad i told terence, while we r young, we shld really just try everything. n i m glad i embarked on this trip. love u guys!

after note, i think the guys will refuse to go cycling with us anymore. so for the next trip, maybe we shld just stick to cycling n picnicking at ecp? haha.

pics another day k? i m getting back to doing assignments.

and i promised myself, after such an adventure. ireally nd to get down to mugging for the next 20 days. yes i can do it.

i have a feeling. i m not going to do so well for this exam. how???

i confess..

that i havent been faithfully studying.

and i feel that i have really lagged in my momentum. and to add on to that, i dun feel the urgency.

i dunno is it becos i m too free or wad.

but i m not feeling urgent.

and i nd to. becos exams r coming up in 6 days.

and i just got a horrible grade for my assignment. the same module for exam next wk.

the next time u see me, tell me to study. i nd to.

if not i m going to screw up this exam. and i dun wan to pull down my gpa.

and i m not as smart as u think i m.

Pst Kong on This is your day

http://www.bennyhinn.org/television/default.cfm?show=E3A20237E123B85271165A00E87871C5

weijian is going to love me for this i think.

for a change this time, i think jay chou's new album is really not bad!

i used to like him abit.. in the beginning with all those songs like 简单爱 and 龙卷风。but after that, i liked him a lot lesser n i used to get quite exasperated that everything is just so similar!

well, my personal perspective of him changed when i watched 不能说的秘密。

i wun say that the movie is 5 stars, but i know that for the first try, he did a fantastic job, and he is really talented. but for his music.. u noe...

and i m pleasantly surprised by 《我很忙》。

it did impress me really.

at least there is a change. n i like the latest cowboy image.

and i feel there is a bit of change in the music. though some things still remained the same.

BUT. at least i would bother to enough to really listen to this album. hee.

my fren sent me this quote. and i was really blessed by it.

everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.

everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive.

u noe a lot of times, ppl will ask me, xt can i do this, xt can i do that..

y can't i do this.. y can't i do that..

i thought this quote really sums it up all.

and he ended the msg with.

do it all for the glory of God!

when i feel sad, somehow this song always cheer me up.

weird right? it's supposed to be a sad song. but there's sth special abt it.

ken will disagree, but i think it's a great song.

Beautiful Girls. (sorry peeps i can't put the original one up， jus listen k? haha)

i thought it is not so easy being a leader after all.

not that i once thought it was la.

but truth is, like wad fang said, there shld be a balance after all.

haix.

有时候，要做好人很难 hor?

that is y God i said, i need ur help and alot alot of wisdom. n no room for assumption.

i remembered what this person said that impacted me in a great way.

he said, no matter where u r,

remember WHAT you r doing, and WHY r u doing it.

I dunno y but this statement impacted me lots.

God i need your grace. Holy Spirit i need you to teach me.

Show me how to live
Teach me how to pray

i tried to sleep at 1130pm last night. but i could not. and i thought about it for a very long time. and finally, i got up, took my panadol and counted sheep. and i finally fell asleep.

This morning my alarm was set for 6am. i tried to sleep, but after seeing the msg, i could not sleep anymore. got up and typed a whole long thing because i could not talk.

My mouth hurts today. More than it did yest. and my heart is grieved today. more than it is yesterday.

my vision. to raise a new generation of disciples, who will LOVE GOD WHOLEHEARTEDLY, LOVE PEOPLE FERVENTLY. and LAY THEM THEIR LIVES FOR THE KINGDOM.

when we love God, we will love what He loves, we will love people, isn't it?

I SEE THE KING OF GLORY
COMING ON THE CLOUDS WITH FIRE
THE WHOLE EARTH SHAKES
THE WHOLE EARTH SHAKES

I SEE HIS LOVE AND MERCY
WASHING OVER ALL OUR SIN
THE PEOPLE SING
THE PEOPLE SING

HOSANNA
HOSANNA
HOSANNA IN THE HIGHEST

HOSANNA
HOSANNA
HOSANNA IN THE HIGHEST

I SEE A GENERATION
RISING UP TO TAKE THEIR PLACE
WITH SELFLESS FAITH
WITH SELFLESS FAITH

I SEE A NEAR REVIVAL
STIRRING AS WE PRAY AND SEEK
WE'RE ON OUR KNEES
WE'RE ON OUR KNEES

HEAL MY HEART AND MAKE IT CLEAN
OPEN UP MY EYES TO THE THINGS UNSEEN
SHOW ME HOW TO LOVE LIKE YOU HAVE LOVED ME
BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS
EVERYTHING I AM FOR YOUR KINGDOM'S CAUSE
AS I WALK FROM EARTH INTO ETERNITY

break my heart for what breaks yours.

let's rise up, with selfless faith

i m upset, frustrated and confused.

different people saying different things, opinions varying.

wad and who?

i dunno.

i knew that openness n transparency is the key.

n i want it to stay that way.

i want to have that trust n keep that trust.

i treasure it.

God, take us out of this. i really dun like it.

eugene's new hair. had lunch with him on monday.

a big thank you to my cg members! love u guys. really really appreciate the thought.

i forgot to say. my 2 latest wants.

1. xiao zhu's new book. i really really like it. and i believe in the principle of sowing and reaping.

2. xiao zhu's concert tix. i really wanna watch it. gee.

went to ms clarity cafe and had dinner with chan eng on wed. ate escargots for the first time! was literally forced by her. it tasted jus ok. not as gross as i imagine. haha.

but we had a great talk. n yes, my dear, the post was not intended for u. but it had an interesting effect though.

glad u told me all those stuff. love ya.

that's all for tonight. i m nice! haaha. to give u all an interesting updates. :)

recently i m just too lazy to blog. i noe.

my exams r coming. but really i dun have a sense of urgency. someone take a hammer n whack my head pls. **ZZzzzz**

过了这么多天，我昨天终于拿小猪的书来读。

fang说，我听起来像个比她还着迷的fans。我说，我不是粉丝。

喜欢小猪，不单单因为他会唱歌跳舞，喜欢他的谦卑，他的热情，他的冲刺。

我仰慕的，不是那些成功的人，而是那些曾经摔倒，再次爬上来的人。

是的。he's my inspiration.

所以我好想参加他第一次巡回售票演唱会。

在地铁上，我忍着眼泪。

到了最后一章，我哭了。

他说，亲情是他的弱点，我发现，这也是我的弱点。

尴尬的擦着眼泪。

心里说，小猪，谢谢你。

i forgot to add.

it's all about making a difference.

i was impacted by wad pst said on tues.

and i was so afraid to confront this.

but now. let's pray for it.

REvival.

i thought i had to blog sth. but i dunno wad. :)

had a nice dinner with chan eng on wed's night. ms clarity cafe is a nice place. i ate escargots! it's jus ok but the color looked gross. will update pics soon.

my exams is coming up very soon. gee. i m scared. (not really la.)

hmm.. i think that is abt all.

i noe this is a very nothing post. sry frens.

dear ken, jia you ok? n dun be so easily irritated la.

u write chinese beautifully too.

sun rocks.

i m really. very tired.

n i dunno y. but my mind is bogged down by cg, sch work, my life and i think that is abt enough for me to think.

and i dunno y. this sem i m kinda overwhelmed by sch work. it's not like i cannot handle it. but it does give me a certain amount of stress.

and everytime i hit the bed, i jus sleep on n on.

for all the stress in the day.

sorry that i din react well. i m really tired.

and i have exams in 3 wks time. and 1 more presentation. 2 more papers.

and i have many things i want to do. in the cg

yes xiaoting, tell urself, u can do it.

these guys r the ones i spend time with every weekend. they r such fun ppl to hang out with.
3 "hunks"? :P
身价不菲的weijian
i like this pic very much.
they look like 2 gangsters.

jian guang looks nice here! haah.
cute.
i wanted to capture this moment.
and i thot we shld have a picture of our dinner tog.

nice feel hor.

celebrating jeremy's birthday at east coast park. 12++ am. haah.

after our east coast challenge. do the guys look cool? i think so. :)

i like this pic. :) e357.
xue min is funny. ha.

3 times at ECP on 2 days. i guess that is quite crazy.

我需要突破。当我以为这场仗是稳赢了后，总会有突发状况。

我希望我不是孤独的。我不要孤军作战。

陪我一起好吗？

我们一起并肩作战。

the strangest thing happened.

i was trying to type an English essay. and i found it awfully difficult to do so. gee.

and after one full page, it was only 490 ENGLISH words.

when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than i. :)

He gave me a verse. Ting, it's time to step out. Remember, having done all, to stand.

i may be going into hibernation. overhaul needed in my life.

look forward to a metamorphosized girl.

i hope it will happen. :)

very tempted to blog in chinese. but considering that most of u probably really cant understand, i m gonna compromise. i read a few blogs jus now, was feeling tired, wanted to catch "a few winks", but yet in the process became emo.

u noe during sot, pastor kong preached abt being a shepherd. and he said, one of the most impt things of a shepherd, is that he must be there for his sheep. as a leader and a pastor, pst kong said, u must be there for ur sheep. in times of crisis, in times of problems, u must be there for them. physically present.

and when he gave the altar call, i cried n cried n cried. becos i noe how it feels to be alone. n i rem, there i made a decision, i will be there for my sheep.

and that is y, i treasure it a lot when my members turn to me, cry over the phone, and ask me to help them. becos i think it's a priveilege. i think it's a trust.

and that is y, i have decided, that i want to be there. not just for my sheep, but for my frens as well. yes i wan u to noe, u can always turn to me, if u want to. and that's y i feel happy that ppl confide in me. becos it's a priveilege. becos that trust is precious.

to my frens n my members, i jus wan to say thank u. to those of u who trusted me and turned to me, i really m grateful. u din have to, but u did, and it is a priveilege to be your fren and to be your leader.

yulan wrote on her blog.

ppl come n ppl go.

i feel this so strongly in my life.

many have come and gone. i wonder, who will still be there?

以前，我抗拒。
现在，我发现，我不得不学着该如何接受。

i forgot to say. my 2 latest wants.

1. xiao zhu's new book. i really really like it. and i believe in the principle of sowing and reaping.
2. xiao zhu's concert tix. i really wanna watch it. gee.

yest. 2.5hrs of badminton. 15min of running. 45min of bball.

the feeling is...

shiok. beyond words.

i love it man. it din even feel like torture to exercise like that. it simply felt yummlicious. i wanna do that again.

i really dun think i want to think abt that issue.it's just not the time yet u noe?if i start,i probably wun stop.it's a stage for friendships.and the time will come.

today i read a quote that i really liked. to share with u.

One day i went out to find a friend,
But friends were nowhere to be found.
The next day i went out to be a friend,
and friends were everywhere.

Friends are seldom found, friends are usually made.

This is such a simple principle,yet so simply profound.

To have friends, my fren, you first must be a friend.

this is abt sth related, and prob not so related. sth in my heart.

someone asked me a few days ago, y m i close to certain ppl? why is it xiaoting always like to fellowship with some ppl? why is it no matter how tired and busy i am, i will definitely set time aside to spend time with some ppl? simply becos they r my frens.

my principle undergirding my friendships is very simple. i make friends sometimes becos they appear in my life at certain point of my life. Some ppl have become close to my heart becos they really pressed into my life. and these r ppl i really treasure. to me, tdy if u choose to open up ur life to me and press in, show me ur heart and "i will give u mine". i m willing to go the extra mile for u, becos friends r so impt to me.

i really treasure friendships. maybe because of the background that i grew up in, friendships has a special value in my life.

sth that i m scared of, when i pour out for a fren, and that is not reciprocrated. i totally dislike the feeling of valuing sth more than the opp party does. and when that happens, i will withdraw.

perhaps one day i may change. but for now.. it will probably be like that.

i forgot to add.

i had a great time today. u guys really light up my life.

tdy, we set off with a "huat ah!", and became "swee or!" along the way, slowly evolving to be "zai ah!", and end off the day, "cui-ed". if u noe wad i m toking abt.

i love my life.

i wanted to come home, change, pray and sleep, without switching on my com. but i failed. haha. i guess i have to blog abt this.

tdy's service was jus simply amazing. i love pst's msg. it jus put sth in me to get up and run all over again. and one of the best revelations i had tdy is..

our circumstance is jus a cycle of events. but the Bible said, having done all, to stand. many ppl get attached to their circumstances and go along with it. but our circumstances r jus cycles of events. we r not supposed to get attached to our circumstances and go along with it! but we r to stand firm on Christ our rock!

what a revelation!

so i shld not be attached to my hurts, disappointments, discouragements, failures.becos they r jus part of the cycle. but having done all, i must stand.

yes xiaoting!

the word encouraged me so much.

and i love u pastor for the great word.

and i love u God. for the timely word. You knew i needed this. thank you.

i m a happy girl.

i am enjoying my no 24 bus rides home. thanx. :)

as a leader, many times u will let ppl into ur life, but sooner or later, u will realise, as a person, pple come n go. frens come n go.

m i sad? definitely.

do i regret? no i don't.

like wad meiyan said, it is a priveilege to serve these ppl. and i agree so.

listening to her voice, watching her videos, tears flowed and flowed and flowed. i m so proud of u. hope that u can really feel it.

我要被这个assignment逼疯了。

今天上课发生了一件很劲爆的事，那就是蓝老师今天带他女朋友来上课，还我们一伙人都无法专心，因为我们花了好长时间在想，这个人到底是谁，而且不断揣测，结果老师还不是自己介绍她，哈哈。我们白下功夫。

虽然她看起来很小，但是，她看起来很聪明，在法国念书leh。真不愧是蓝老师的女朋友。。还在世界文化遗产保护中心工作，能讲一口流利的法语，真得很厉害。我实在很羡慕。

我有很多话想对你说，但是一见到你，却什么也说不出口。不知该说什么，不知该从何说起。

不知道从什么时候

我开始害怕信任

开始害怕付出

开始害怕做梦

不知从什么时候开始

我失去了飞翔的勇气

我需要找回 当初的勇敢。当初的理想。

我需要再次飞翔。

i m really not supposed to be blogging here. i m supposed to hold on dearly to my 台湾政治史and treat it like it's the most impt book after my bible. muahahaha.

今天，和往常一样，我真的不想再一次来上这堂课。奇怪的是，七点多我就睁开了眼睛，奇迹，我竟然这么早就醒了。想了想，我们去上课吧。虽然真的已经非常非常迟，但是，这一堂课让我感慨很多。突然我了解，为什么我身在南大，对南大的归属感也增加了一层。

记得，当初要来南大时，老师们似乎不赞成这个决定。他们对很多人，很多制度有意见。我也被他们稍稍的影响，带着某种偏见来到学校。直到现在，我还不知道老师们是否对，但是，突然间我觉得，这一点也不重要了。对我而言，最重要的，应该是，我从南大离开，带着满满的知识，满满的成长，满满新的思想，不管是什么制度，还是什么人，现在都已经没有这么重要了。

我很开心当初作了这个决定，更有种，嗯，晓亭，你对了的感觉。我想，我应该会更珍惜这一年半的时光。现在，还不会太迟吧。

i din noe y. but i promise, without understanding the situation, i still will do it. you did it all to protect me right? i still dun understand. how i can be so naive n gullible at times. and i still think i am. and i still think, it's really not the time yet. till i learn.

信任和不信任之间，这条线在哪里？
保护自己和接纳别人之间，这条线在哪里？

i hope u r not like wad i think u r. i hope that 我没有看错你，好吗？i hope that u r different. really.

i was supposed to stay up and study, then wake up for lesson.

and guessed wad?

i slept like nobody's business.

xiaoting y r u so tired?

i have no idea.

thank you.

it made everything worthwhile.

i m glad. so glad.

i feel misunderstood.

i feel like wad i want to say is not conveyed, or ppl r not catching it.

我觉得我有满肚子的苦水，我不知道要往哪里吐。

我多么希望你会明白，it's really not about me, it's about ur relationship with God.

i wish u will just get it.

昨天在和fang讲话，讲到很迟，but i felt it was a fruitful conversation. :)

正好在想，前一阵子，我真的还蛮失落的。

或许有时候，得到的，和预期的不一样，会让人有种莫名的失落感。

那段时期我很不开心，不是因为你所做的事情，而是我非常惊讶，为什么这么快，就有人能代替我们在你心目中的位子？

我并不介意你交朋友。。但是，那种被人替代的滋味，很不好受。直到今天，我还是这么觉得的。

我一直觉得联络少了，沟通少了，或许你没有察觉吧，但我总是认为，有人慢慢的，在你的生命中，取代了我们。

或许我太严格，太苛刻了。我也不知道。但是，总有一种失落感。

你知道吗？如果今天换成是别人，我早就走了。但是我很珍惜我们的友谊，很珍惜我们之间的共同回忆，才会按捺住这种心情，继续和你联络。

one thing that i really dun like, is that sth matters to me, more than it matters to u. really, if it was somebody else, i would have withdrawn. but becos it is you. n you have pressed into my life. and for that, i m willing to press in once more. but i dunno for how long.

i jus hope, things can go back to what it is before. can it?

dear fren,

somebody told me, it's just a passing phase. n i certainly do hope so. i did mention to u, that things seem to be "less happening" around us then before, and it seems like u r more willing, and happier spending time with ur new found frens. i really dun mind. but like wad i said, i felt like i m being replaced. yes, u have issues and problems to settle, i know that, and i really dun mind that. i wish u will know that. but i m just sad that u dun seem to turn to us anymore, and u dun seem to treasure us as much as before. have we become less impt? i suddenly feel so.

i dun wan to be emo in dealing with this issue, but i m disappointed, and that is a fact. i dun wan to tell u, becos i dunno what u will think and how it will affect u, and i dun wan u to be affected. but that, my fren, cannot change the fact that i m really kinda sad about this whole thing. it seems like we lost that transparency and closeness, but i do hope we can get it back. and i wish, u will press into my life once more, just like how u did, right from the beginning.

love,
xiaoting

爱上听华语流行歌。在电脑上播放着许多歌曲，让我有着一种抒情的感觉。重新爱上华语流行音乐。

友人问我，不听英语歌的吗？不是不听，是少听吧。华语歌曲有种亲切感，有种贴近我的心的感觉。

刚读完sammi的专访，发现原来他也是基督徒。很开心。我一直都很喜欢她和郑秀珍，更开心她们也认识上帝。well i will see them in heaven one day! haha.

now i realised.

certain things, when MY shared with me abt it, i could not really understand. somehow it's all beginning to come to light. i think i m really beginning to understand.

associations. is so impt.

u r kinda missed. come back soon.

and happy 21st birthday lim yang.

get married ya?can't wait to see minyi in a gown.hee.

had a good time hanging out with sam n pam last night though. watched nanny diaries. the show that i desperately want to watch. but i thot it was a let down. other than chris evans. but i only saw him like 3 times in the movie. haaha. it was a weird combination, sam pam n me. but sam was very nice la. and i thot the HK cafe was not bad too.

and it's amazing to see how SMU transformed a person. i m quite happy to be slacking in NTU. haha.

Faith is getting up everytime u r knocked down.

this word struck me when i was giving bs. instead of me trying to bless my member and share a word with him, i felt like i was preaching to myself instead.

i felt like i had the wind knocked out of me. n i need strength n determination to get up.

but i m determined not to stay knocked down. i will do everything i can.

i will get up again.

see me soar.

劉畊宏-幸福的距離MV

i like this song so much.

最近一直在听很多华语歌。爱上了刘耕宏《幸福的距离》。

《幸福的距离》


窗外开始下起毛毛雨
云遮住了星星
夜深了还没有睡意
翻来覆去的想你
时钟滴答滴答的声音
像在说我爱你
转过2点3点到6点
恨不得快点见到你

幸福的距离 就算万公里
在你眼里有我想要勇气
从南极飞到北极 南京到北京
你的笑胜过那些美景
我们勾勾手 就一言为定
我会傻傻的好好的爱你
你的名加我的姓
永远在一起
拥抱多过千言万语

last night i was talking to a fren. perhaps the fact that i worked in insurance company before, i can detect that tone.

not that i dun like my fren, or my boss, which in fact on the contrary, both of them taught me a lot of things, but somehow, i just DON'T have a good feeling abt insurance. No offense to all my frens who r advisors k, cos u guys r great ppl. N i will probably need ur help one day.

But it's frustrating that early in the morning u r woken up by a call from AIA head office, and having another advisor seeing u in an hour's time.

somehow, it's just a phobia of insurance.

Your Birthdate: July 28

You have a Type A personality so big it makes other Type A's shrink away in shame.You never shy away from adversity - and you love to tackle impossible problems.Failure is not an option for you, and more than a few people are put off by your ego.You tend to be controlling, and you hate leaving anything up to chance. Your strength: Your bold approach to life Your weakness: You don't accept help Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Pyramid Your power month: October

纳闷

忽然觉得很纳闷。不要问我为什么，我自己也不知道。就觉得很纳闷就对了。

好像一个大闷锅。

blogging.

这次看了爱情魔法师，感觉是很不同的。或许因为常常这样子看戏，所以现在比较懂得抽离，所以不会“困”在其中。但是看了戏后，感触挺多。

写一些下来吧。

其中一个影响我最深的，就是戏里小贝说的一句话。

人活着就是为了一个梦。

这戏的重点或许是小贝和杜亚斯的恋情，但我看来，让我感动最深的，还是小贝追求她的梦，而最终她成功。这一点，真的深深地打动了我。

人活着，就是为了一个梦。

昨天祷告的时候，这句话不停的重复在我脑海里。

我活着的原因是什么？为了怎样的一个梦？

an excerpt from pst phil's book "leadership excellence".

i thought it was brilliantly written. sharing with u.

"There will always be people we are called to serve, who we help to accomplish their purposes. Mentoring is vital to success. However, this involves more than just chatting with a more experienced person. The mentoring relationship is opened up through serving. People sometimes ask me to mentor them. All they need do is to help me do what I do and they'll find themselves in my world. They learn more by serving than by any other means. A good 'mentee' makes a great mentor. No matter how good a person's coach might be, if the person has no heart to serve and to learn, then they will fail to be coached."

i thought this is excellent. be blessed by it.

经过了这么多事，我学习了很多，所以真正能够影响我的事情不多。但是，最近我的心情一直起伏不定，我好不容易维持的坚持好像要被动摇了。

人生有很多要与不要，该与不该，而我总是徘徊在这些之间。我该做什么，不该做什么。。而当然面对的最大矛盾也是这个。有时候，我好希望前面要走的路，可以是这么清楚，清晰，让我在没有危险，犹豫之下走下去。

这也当然是不可能的。

我很需要改变一些东西。

不喜欢生活的一成不变。

救命啊

有人觉得，打仗最重要的就是气势。

我觉得，我今天少了气势。

今天的仗没打好。

对不起。

有一点sad

was just telling jeremy i love the way my life is and the way my cg is now. and i was trying to encourage to look on the bright side of things.

and now my mind is plagued with the bad side of things.

all things work tog for the good of those who love Him, to those who r the called according to His purpose.

warning: this is an emo post.

晓亭总是让人感觉好坚强，因为小时候，妈妈曾说，亭，你不可以让人看到你的脆弱。

从小到大，没有几个人看到妈妈的脆弱，就像现在，也不会有几个人看到我脆弱的时候。

可能是我的童年，让我讨厌无助感。

但是刚才，那五分钟的戏，让我不停的哭。

不停的哭，不停的哭

坚强是一个必要
但是有这么多的时候，我希望，会有人看到我坚强后的脆弱。

现在已经是凌晨4点多钟了，我真的很少这个时间睡觉。其实还蛮好的，因为经过了几个月的训练，我开始比较早睡。哈哈。

其实想写一些东西，只是脑子挺空白的。

下个星期，我放假了！

我真的觉得我需要休息。

休息是为了走更长远的路。

希望在忙功课之余，我能够好好的休息。

很奇怪，这个学期感觉自己好忙啊！也不知道在忙些什么，但总感觉我的功课真的好多。

晓亭，加油吧！

我的朋友- 这段时间，我体会到，什么是无声胜有声。不是我不要说，说了你又不听。很讨厌我们之间有隔阂，但有时却觉得很无奈，也真的没有想要去做什么。

my friend - it's ur life. and i dun have a right to tell u how u should live it. my prayer is that u will love Him more and more, and fulfil ur destiny in ur life.

其实要说的东西还有很多，但是在这里说不出来，或许这是少数的一次，我会把它们埋在心里，不说出来了。

to YOU!

i have always thought that u r talented since jc days. for what i see on the outside, what i read is so entirely different, but somehow sth told me that u were someone really special.

it was exciting to read all those stories, hear all those things, and even more so to decipher what u wrote.

and i saw those pics and witnessed those smiles. perhaps u would never noe who i am, but i just want to say..

wishing u happiness.

your girl is lucky to have u, and from what i see, u r lucky too.

祝你们永远幸福。

我发现到一样事情。i am an open book. that means that what i feel, i will tell. i hate bottling things up.

有时候我很羡慕那些能把心情用许许多多文字藏起来的朋友。那么，他们就可以随心所欲的道出他们的心情，而不必害怕别人会发现。

我就不一样了。

现在的感觉，我会很想写下来，但是由于观众你在这，我要学习自我审查。(self censorship)

这个周末有点恐怖，除了有很多仗要打之外，心情的起伏更是让我乱了手脚。我已经很久都没有这么多感触了。

好消息是 我打了一场漂亮的胜仗。我们在突破了。

现在需要调整心情，蓄势待发。

今天终于看了881。

心情还是起伏不定。

你什么时候才会静下来呢？

THESE R MY BELOVED SOT FRENS. AND BBD PHOTOS. SORRY I M LAZY.

CHECK OUT STARGAZING28.MULTIPLY.COM FOR MORE.

我有点累。

今天扛了好些包袱。

有点像姐姐，又有点像妈妈。

you know i was just thinking about it the other day. it's how amazing God brought us altogether and bring friends in our midst.

and i was just thinking about ken and weijian.

it's interesting how i knew them only 2 years ago, and they were still kids, literally kids. haha. one who was jumping ard all the time in pos and another one who was always trying to look cool. (weijian, tugging at his fringe, with his super low pants, and surprisingly a mugger and one who does really well, ha.) really in pos that yr, i din get close to many of them, sometimes as a ldr u just got to take care of everybody. but this bunch of ppl were really nice. right from the beginning they made me feel loved, though i was still a really young leader, and we were all just trying to make things right and to make pos a wonderful experience.

and thru pos, God showed me one thing, the impossible is nothing.

when everybody(and even ourselves) said that we would never have a chance in the prize, by our hard work and passion, we proved everybody wrong, including ourselves. it was a moment to cry for when we knew we were in top 3 really. and ppl din understand y were we so happy and passionate, but those in the team knew. knew that it was impossible and God did it for us.

but pos 2005 is over. but friendships r left behind.

the greatest joy that i had was to see lives changed thru pos, members maturing, being on fire for God, and friendships forged in this place, including my friendship with weijian and ken and all the rest.

and as a "shepherd" of my own sheep, i have made a decision to always look at my "sheep" with eyes of faith. and even today, when i look at ken and weijian, somehow sth tells me there is sth greater in store for u guys.

if i think wadeva i said was amazing, whatever that happened after was even more amazing. how amazing u guys left God one by one, and came by one by one. to say i was not sad was a lie. but somehow we knew u guys will be back.

and it's amazing how God bring the 2 of you tog to be frens. i always thot, u guys r so different, and weijian, y did u go down to ken's level??? haaha. but somehow i guess in the midst of all it is really God.

but more than all these, i knew that God made you guys friends for a purpose. by being in my life, you have made a difference, but i pray that you guys will do greater things for His kingdom.

You have a great destiny in store. For no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind can know, what God has in store for those who love Him.

To my 2 brothers in Christ, i love u guys absolutely who u r and what you have been, and i pray and pray and pray BOTH OF YOU will walk in the purpose and destiny that God has for you.

and i know BOTH OF YOU will.

and thank you for being my friend. :)

上一个post, 我才刚说，我好累啊。在msn和一个朋友聊天，谈到一些令我兴奋的事，一些发生的好事，我就开始开心起来。

these few days, because of fatigue, i cannot bring myself to do nothing. i was thinking, i m just too tired to do anything.

但是，和他讲话之后，我突然觉得，我虽然累，但是我还要坚持。我虽然累，但是我还要积极，乐观。我虽然累，but i dun wan to whine and complain.

and i will look to u.

in times of fatigue, i will climb to u and say, Lord pick me up.

in times of fatigue, i will fall in ur arms and say, Lord strengthen me.

i will fight on.

i will overcome.

i am more than a conqueror.

and i will grow, and guard, and build.

oh yes i will.

and i can do all things. yes all things.

我大概等了5分钟，这个网页才出现。难怪你发现晓亭越来越少写部落格了。

从好几天前，我就想写了。想写我对《霸王别姬》这部片子的观后感，想写一些发生的莫名其妙事，想写好多好多。。 可是我一动笔，就不想写了，哈哈。

很奇怪的是，最近的我真得很累。真得很累。我会莫名其妙得上课上到一半而睡着，即使我昨晚已经睡了很多。不管我怎么睡，都补不回我需要的精力。我需要比睡眠更厉害的东西。。

今晚，我只想睡个好觉。明天起来跑步，祈祷从明天起，我会有精力去应付接踵而来的挑战。

typing in chinese may not be very reader-friendly to many of u. bear with me k? i need to improve my standard of Chinese.

God i need your strength.

for your grace is sufficient for me.

虽然是有那么的一点想念team 19的人，但是也很开心终于可以返回南大校园。

昨天，好不容易，终于找到了“草根书局”在哪里，遇见了鼎鼎大名的英培安先生，还和他聊上了几句话。在南大上课时，常常会受到激励，希望自己真的能够成为双语人才。这是上翻译课得到最大的启示。

辜鸿鸣，马建忠，他们俩都认为中国要富强，当时需要“译才”。译才必须精通双语，并且熟悉两国的文化。辜鸿鸣更了不起，懂得9种语言，并且是真正的双语人才。

所以，上了这些课后，我才深深体会，我需要加强自己的语文程度。

晓亭，加油吧！

random

今天坐在巴士车站时，突然想到一样小时候我们常做的事。



记得12岁那年，我们总是会要求大家帮我们写autograph，而里头写的常常是一些有的没有的诗。



有一个是这样写到的。



“知人知面不知心

劝你交友要小心

不要交个没良心

怕你以后会伤心”



小时候，真得不懂这句话的意义，或许只是在扮“小大人”。但是，回想起来，这句话对现在的我们，却是那么适当。

认识他，好像挺久了。可是却像是今时今日才知道事实，他原来是这样的人。

我一直以为，他是一个正人君子，好好先生，百分百情人。尽管以前发生这么多事，我还是相信的。

我猛然发现，一直以来，我认为的友情是不值钱的，更从来没有看过一个比他更践踏友情和感情的人。

为他伤害的人感到不值

为自己的愚蠢感到愚蠢

我们终究回到“童言无忌”时说的那番话，

“知人知面不知心
劝你交友要小心
不要交个没良心
怕你以后会伤心”

not impressed. by ur talent, looks and charisma.

but shocked, at ur total lack of character.

我上了一堂宝贵的课。

我很久没有下笔写点东西了。有时候，生活的步伐很快，快到我连停下来思考的时间都没有。

我。。毕业了。

thanx to all who cheered for me, thanx to my cg, thanx to meiyan, jeanie and xuan, thanx to weijian, ken, yang hong and ming xun, and thanx to sot team 19.

奇怪的是，我并没有伤感的感觉。当然不是因为我没有感觉，认识我的人都知道，我是个感情富裕的人。哈哈。可是，这次没有那种。。oh i m going to miss u.

反而觉得，something awaits me.

对，就是这种感觉。

很开心看到我撒的种子在成长，收割的时间快到了。

我正式开学了。

我的最后一天

再过几个小时，我们就要毕业了。 真的要毕业了。

4个月又14天，酸甜苦辣，我们熬过了。

喜欢dr jeff 所说的，我们像是停在码头的船只，等着要离开港口。

那天我看着录影，心中有万分不舍。

这个港口是我的避风港。坐在那里，看着录影，他问我，你准备好了吗？

我的回答是

prepare me Lord.

many r called, few r chosen.

updates

just some random updates.

最近忙得快疯了，而且维彪，helen不是要飞了，就是已经飞了。神学院就快要毕业了，这是我最后一个星期，好快哦。

although busy, i had a crazy time last wk at graduation dinner and hanging out with 61 peeps. these 2 weeks r very precious because it's like the last of everything. last of having all of us hanging out tog with biao n helen, last of biao, last of helen, last of sot, and last of team 19.

i think after this week, i will have withdrawal symptoms. nah jus kidding.

but frankly speaking, i really cannot imagine wad it will be like after i graduate. God i noe u will be there. i will need your grace and mercy.

God spoke to me last weekend. such a strong word. such an encounter. i love You Lord.

i think after this wk, i will be ready to emerge.

how bout u?

random

现在坐在麦当劳里，教朋友读书。(: 其实我很想念那从早到晚坐在快餐店里，读书的感觉。记得我在考‘A’水准时，我和cecilia在singpost做了一整天，那里成了我读书的地方。我觉得‘A’水准我真的还蛮努力，所以。。

这个星期应该是很忙的。。 但是现在我有一个很轻松的心情。我喜欢努力读书的感觉，我喜欢努力去做一件事的感觉。这星期五有讲道的测验，我很希望我能够考好。

不知道你们有没有发现，当我在用中文写博客时，我的思维很不清楚。哈哈。

ok, 说一些较正经的。

昨天和芳去看“不能说的秘密”，走出来的感觉，或许要用“大跌眼镜”来形容。我一直以来蛮欣赏周杰伦，却从来都不是他的忠实歌迷，特别是他的专辑风格，在我眼里，一直是一成不变。但是，很多人看了这出戏，都告诉我这出戏很棒，所以我决定去看一看。

我不能说我很喜欢这出戏，但是周杰伦在戏里显露的才华，他想出来的剧本，故事里所贯穿的主题，让你觉得他这个人不只是虚有其表，相反的，我觉得他是一个隐藏着内涵的人。(: 他成功地让我改观。

这是一部我会推荐的电影，去看吧，如果你对周杰伦的印象和我一样，你应该会对他改观。

walking ard in green hair.

green hair has great pros and cons. :)

like ur fren can recognise u from afar.

like strangers will tok to u becos of ur green hair.

like u cannot be late for class becos u r so conspicuous. really.

but i still like my green hair. go green peeps.

大三的第一个学期开始了，时间还真得过得很快。我在想，或许我要设立一个中文博客，把心情记录在里头。:)

可是我每次说了都没有做。。 那就算了吧。哈哈。

这个星期是我这学期第一次到学校去，感觉挺不一样的。觉得人与事都还是一样，但是自己的心境却完全改变了。所以，感觉是陌生的。

可是，很开心的是，这次可以上一些不同的课，我喜欢上陈老师的课！他说得很对，你在ntu，不是和人挤巴士，就是和人挤电梯，哈哈。你知道吗，我突然发现，南大真的多了好多人！现在，不管在哪一个时间搭巴士，简直挤到不行，太夸张了。你可不可以想象，我的学校的人口一直在增长。。 不喜欢挤巴士的感觉。:( 发现陈老师住在我家附近。上他的课真有趣。:)

这几个月，这几天，令我开心的是，我认识很多新朋友。yay.

如果只剩下我一个人，我一定会奋斗下去的。相信我。

我的华语变烂了，英文也变烂了。真糟糕。

futh 和 tsai 飞了。当然，他们离开的感觉和helen走的感觉不一样。只是61的人好像有点少。

我认为，futh有一个很棒的爸爸！我觉得，他是我遇过的父亲中，其中最棒的一位。他真的懂得如何教育自己的孩子，为人慷慨，有修养，晓亭欣赏他。

我知道自己有点开始语无伦次，请不要怪我。夜已深。。。

我要看“不能说的秘密”

我今天学了一个成语。“夜郎自大”

晚安咯！

getting attached

not me,haha. i noe wad u r thinking.

to So and So,

congratulations! haha. although u r confused, i can sense love is in the air.

(:

on another note, everybody seems to be getting attached nowadays. now u readers, dun tag on this comment. haha. i noe wad u gonna say.

once again, i feel it is a priveilege to live life with our discipler.

thank you for this priveilege. to be discipled.

that my values can be challenged, attitude fine-tuned, and character developed.

some things are simply caught, she said.

and yes i will learn.

i want to go up to the next level.

what xiaoting has been doing

i m still doing this now! haaha.

my call from you

was actually feeling not so happy about some stuff.

but when i came and saw the pictures, i feel my spirit lifting up.

and i remember my call.

your call took me o'er

to raise up a new generation of young pple, who will love God wholeheartedly, love pple fervently, who will lay down their lives for the kingdom.

my greatest honour will always be
to serve my Lord and king

God of my forever
God of my youth
God of my all

it is a priveilege.

i want to raise up disciples. that these i see will become world shakers, history makers.

use me teach me guide me.

discipleship

pst kong taught on discipleship on thurs. i jus feel like blogging more on it.

he said,

it's when we live lives with our discipler, that is when..

your values are challenged.
your attitude is fine-tuned.
and character developed.

but to learn, you first must want to be taught.

and to be discipled, you must personally avail urself to ur discipler.

obedience is an action.
submission is an attitude.

that no matter wad happens, i will always honour my leader and not be rude to them.

when pst taught that, i was so so so impacted.

it's not that i have nv heard it before.. but.. the importance of discipleship.

the importance of having a right attitude.

pst kept on reiterating this point.

that ur attitude is so impt.

and that 1.5 hours really changed my life.

and after that session, i asked myself..

have i been a good disciple?

and can i raise up strong disciples for God?

a disciple is a trained worker with a great attitude.

my desire.. is that i can learn how to make disciples,

and that i will raise up disciples, ppl who r willing to be taught, who have a great attitude, who r broken and desire to do great things for God.

so that we can take this Gospel to the four corners of this world.

God use me, teach me, guide me.

not feeling well

recently, i have been falling sick quite abit which is bad. but i seldom let my sickness get to me and defeat me totally, jus like how i m now. i m still gonna write my sermons, brace myself, and go to sch tml.

we had a powerful powerful session with pst kong this morning. n i m so glad that in spite of my circumstances, i was there. really. i think this is a lesson that would change my life.

God.

i want to be a disciple so that i can be a disciple maker.

and that is just such a desire within me, to see more, do more, for the kingdom.

create in me a new heart Lord.

God is looking.. for that one man, one woman, who will avail himself/herself to Him. to be discipled, and to change the world.

i pray i will be found faithful.

many r called, few r chosen, even lesser will be found faithful.

let me be that one.

about sun

love her. she's doing amazing things all throughout the world.

登上了世界的舞台。我们以你为荣。

check this out.

www.wretch.cc/blog/helloSUN

we r proud of u. no doubt of that.

人生中的乐趣，有时来自那微不足道的小事。

就像

吃板面时让我有幸福的感觉。

deliverance

on another note, deliverance has been great. it is a joy to pray for my members and also see so many of them getting delivered. btw, will put up some pics of my bday. y not jus check out yulan's webby. haah.

believeth.multiply.com

my 21st

had a wonderful wonderful time. i think this is the best bday i had so far.

i m really happy this birthday.

just want to say thank you to..

1. my cg.

Guys thank you for the lovely surprise! u guys r amazing and so creative. haaha. i absolutely loved the idea (: You have been a blessing in my life! thank you!

2. my family.
i m so glad that this yr my family was here, especially my dad. he has been great! (: and my lovely cousins bought me a digi camera. the one thing that i need and want so much.

3. my fellow leaders.
wad more to say other than thank you. haha.

and everyone who was there on friday. my21st was awesome because of u. thank u.

u can tell i m really lz to tok more about it.

在踏入21岁之前，我真的觉得我需要跨出那信心的一步。

就像我曾说的，我真的觉得是时候了。但是，我也知道我们不可以纸上谈兵，我不可以说说而已。

我要晋升。

我们需要甩开每一个我们给自己的藉口，更不可以留下后路让自己走。

我要封锁每一条让我停滞不动的道路。

我要让自己没有办法，一定要向前。

costa sands pasir ris

now at chalet. jus finished our steamboat. we had so much fun! hahaa. this is where u see the real side to everybody. wahahaha. anyway, tdy somebody asked if i m excited. i realised it's really a lot a lot of work. haaha. but anyway, hope everything will be great tml.

再过一天，就是21岁了。

今天在走路回家时，我就在想这事。

the time has come. 他说。

该准备的已经准备好了，是时候跨出那一步。

过了21岁后，还要等多久？

let's step out.

可能是因为自己一直不断地让我的引擎跑动，我喜欢静下来想事情。

有些事情来得真的是很突然。

delight urself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

这句话是符合现在吗？

我很喜欢这个惊喜，但是，我不敢想象未来。

有时候我会觉得，或许我不配得拥有最好的。

我的他何其伟大。他们常说，他能做到的，是超乎你所求所想。

我现在有点搞不清楚状况。

到底是怎么回事？

惊喜

很奇怪的一个晚上

巧合来得太巧了

除了惊喜，还有更多的紧张

i wonder what the future holds.

wishlist

my wishlist for my 21st bday. due to popular demand.

ok many have asked me wad do i want for my bday. this is wad i really. (tell me wad u wan, wad u really really want) ha. anyway, i noe many of the things r out of ur budget, so it's ok. ur thought is appreciated.

1. a good n nice digi cam.
2. a good n nice handphone.
3. a good n nice mp3 player. muahaha.
4. a new wallet.
5. perfume
6. clothes, bags, belts, shoes.. u get wad i mean.

i jus wan to say this, i really dun dare to put up my wishlist, jus in case i end up having 10 bottles of perfumes for my birthday. u guys jus exercise ur discretion ok? haha.

and i used to really want a NUM bag. my members know that. but i haven been into the shop for a long time, n i think their bags r kinda ex. but if u see a nice bag in there, i dun mind. and really, i have 50dollars off their bags. so u can ask me for the voucher too. muaahhaha.

yup that is it. see ya on fri!

有时候，不经意的一句话，对别人的影响，却可以是很大。

人与人之间的关系，就是那么微妙，那么神奇，也那么fragile。

让我们勇敢起来吧。